


Serenade My Heart

by MrsCriss2012



Category: Glee
Genre: Family, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-07 20:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 109,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10368894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsCriss2012/pseuds/MrsCriss2012
Summary: Kurt Hummel is a hugely successful actor, who suddenly finds himself having to take care of three small children. Blaine Anderson is a struggling musician, hired to teach piano. Only, Blaine has never taught piano before, and Kurt has never had to be a parent before. It's a voyage of discovery for all of them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- Hello. I’ve had a few questions about this work, how long it is and how often I’ll update etc. To answer; it’s full length though I haven’t finished writing it all yet, and updates will be three times a week, mostly. This is a slow burner, so apologies to those hoping for action in the first few chapters! Still, I hope you enjoy the story.

**Blaine**

 

“Dude,  I need you to do me a favor.” 

 

I sigh, switching my phone to the other ear to grab my takeout coffee and pay. My brother always needs me to do him a favor, and that usually involves time, expense, and doing something that I really don't want to do. 

 

“What is it this time?”

 

“Good,” he says, taking my question as confirmation of my compliance. “So, you know Kurt Hummel?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“Yeah you do. He's in town for six months, and wants someone to teach piano to his kids.” 

 

“No.” I push my way out of the coffee shop and onto the busy streets of New York. “No, no way.” 

 

“Come on, dude! You'd be great.” 

 

“That's not what I do, Cooper. I don't teach, I write, and perform. Big difference.” 

 

“Yeah but you're not exactly raking in the cash, are you, little bro? He’ll pay, and he’ll pay well. Please?” 

 

“No! Whoever this guy is, tell him to Google piano teachers and I'm sure a pretty decent list will come up.” 

 

“You seriously don't know who Kurt Hummel is?” 

 

“No. Why would I?” 

 

“He was that sidekick in that sci-fi movie thingy.” 

 

“Well that narrows it down.” 

 

“He's kinda huge. Just landed the lead role in some new superheroi show, but his face is everywhere. He does modelling. Fronts some campaign... I don't know. Point is, he's rich, and has kids that need piano lessons.” 

 

“Like I said, Google. How do you know him, anyway?” 

 

“I don't. I'm fitting the kitchen in his new place. Super nice. Anyway, he called in to check on progress and he asked if anyone knew a piano teacher.” 

 

It hits me as I'm waiting to cross the road. “Oh my God, you told him I'd do it, didn't you?” 

 

“I kind of did, yeah.” 

 

“I don't even like kids, Cooper! Not to mention the fact that I'm busy with my real work, you know, my actual job. Jeez! Cooper, I swear, I....” 

 

“I said you'd call by next week. I'll text you his address but you're not allowed to share it with anyone, or tell anyone what you're doing, okay? Bye!” 

 

He hangs up before I can yell at him, and I'm left alone with my coffee and my anger. 

 

After my dull, never-ending shift at Home Depot, I'm looking forward to spending an evening with my feet up, writing songs on my guitar. That's not to be, though, because something in my brain is reminding me to do something, and then I remember what. 

 

Google Kurt Hummel. 

 

In all honesty, I'm surprised to find that he's exceptionally famous; my brother has a tendency to exaggerate. A couple of years older than me, Kurt turned twenty nine last month and is listed on countless rising star lists. He's gone from one to watch, to the only one to watch, it seems, because after co-starring in a smash hit movie, Kurt Hummel shot to fame and is now in demand everywhere. 

 

Cooper is right; he's also a model, and very striking to look at. He's distinctive, I think my mom would say. His features are almost...elfin? I don't know. I have no idea if that's an accurate or acceptable way to describe a guy, but he's very angular and his eyes- probably enhanced by photoshop- are a bright, brilliant blue. He reminds me of Zelda. 

 

I see no mention of kids, though, or of a wife, girlfriend...anything. The only mention of any private life I do find, says that Kurt Hummel is the rare Hollywood exception of a star without scandal. It's that comment which makes me arrive outside a smart looking brownstone the following week, having been told to call at ten sharp. 

 

His wife answers the door, a smart, beautiful, blond woman in her late twenties, and seems surprised when I say I'm here about piano lessons. 

 

“Teaching them, I mean,” I add as I follow her down the hallway. “Not um... taking them.” 

 

“Obviously. But teaching Mr. Hummel?” 

 

“Oh, no. His um... your children?” 

 

“My children?” She frowns, then laughs. “I don't have any children. I'm not his wife, if that's what you're thinking. I'm Quinn, his manager.” 

 

“Oh, I see. I'm sorry.” I feel myself flushing, and I clear my throat. “ _ His _ children, then. I'm here about teaching piano to his children.” 

 

“His wards?” 

 

“His what now?” 

 

“Mr. Hummel doesn't have any children either, but he does have three wards as of about three weeks ago.” 

 

“Right. That's... right. I see.” I glance about, briefly admiring the kitchen that Cooper has just finished fitting, and trying to think of a way out. “You know, when I text Mr. Hummel he didn't seem all that sure about the lessons, so...” 

 

“Come through. I'll introduce you to the children. Mr. Hummel isn't here right now.” 

 

“Maybe I'll come back another time? I mean, he did say ten, but...” 

 

“He’ll be back soon enough. Come on.” 

 

She leads me through a dining room with a huge marble topped table and an elaborate chandelier, and into a bright and airy playroom, where a baby sits on the floor, chewing a bright pink giraffe, and a small girl lies on a pile of cushions, watching the TV. 

 

“Polly?”

 

I’m expecting the girl to answer, but Polly turns out to be a woman in her fifties, who appears from around the corner, with about six brightly colored hairbands in her hair. She looks kind, friendly, if slightly crazy, and she smiles warmly. 

 

“Hey, Quinn.”

 

“Hi. This is.... Oh, um?”

 

“Blaine Anderson.”

 

“Mr. Anderson,” Quinn says with a nod. “He’s here to teach piano.”

 

“Oh. Right, well I knew nothing of that,” Polly says, “but that’s wonderful anyway. Welcome. I’m Polly, the children’s nanny.”

 

“Um...” I glance down to where the baby sits staring up at me with large, dark eyes. “I mean, I can teach piano, but... They’re perhaps a little young?”

 

“Ha!” Quinn pats me on the back. “I’ll leave him with you, Polly. Good luck.”

 

Confused, I watch as she leaves the room, ruffling the little girl’s hair as she passes. I find it strange that there’s still silence from the children, and very little curiosity. 

 

“I’ll introduce you,” Polly says, as if teaching piano to someone who can’t even walk is entirely natural. “This is Joshua, he’s coming up eight months, and this over here is Alice. Tell Blaine how old you are, Alice, what number?”

 

“Free.”

 

“Right, good.” I nod, and try to smile at the girl. She’s cute, definitely, with blue eyes and blond hair, but she looks nothing at all like Joshua, whom I assume is her brother. 

 

“And around here,” Polly continues, leading me around the corner. “We have Maggie. Maggie is five, and she’s the one you’ll be teaching, or I assume so, anyway.” 

 

“Ah.” Suddenly everything makes sense. The girl sits at a table that’s covered in mirrors, hairbrushes, and a vanity full of hair bands, bobby pins, and whatever else women use for their hair. Several dolls are scattered about, all with pigtails, plaits, or ponytails; presumably she ran out of models, and resorted to using the nanny. 

 

The girl herself is the image of her sister, only older. Her hair is a darker blond, but she has the same rosy cheeks and big blue eyes. Like Alice, she sits politely, but doesn’t smile. 

 

“Maggie, darling, this is Mr. Anderson. He’s going to give you piano lessons.”

 

The girl nods solemnly. “Okay. Hello,” she says, turning to me. 

 

“Hey. So uh... So I don’t know if you want a lesson now, or...”

 

“Hmm. This is all a bit awkward, isn’t it?” Polly says, looking about as if she too is unsure of how to proceed. “Did Quinn mention if Mr. Hummel is home?”

 

“She said he’s out.”

 

“Right. Do you know him?”

 

“No. My brother fit the kitchen, and apparently recommended me as a suitable piano teacher.”

 

“I see. So where do you usually teach?”

 

“I don’t.” 

 

This alarms her, and she sits down at the table, indicating that I should join her. “Maggie, sweetie, go play with Joshua and Alice for a moment.”

 

“Okay,” the little girl whispers. She glances at me as she passes, and I try my best to smile, but I have a feeling it comes off as a grimace. 

 

“Mr. Anderson, please explain?”

 

“Um... I don’t really know what to explain,” I say with a shrug. “My brother called me and told me to come, I text the number he gave me, and got given an address and a time to be here, so I’m here.”

 

“But you’ve never taught piano before?”

 

“No. I mean, I can play it, but teaching it is... No.”

 

“I see. What about working with children?”

 

“God, no.”

 

She raises her eyebrows, and I know that was the wrong answer to give. “Mr. Anderson, what exactly is it you do for a living?”

 

“Well, I’m a musician by night, but that doesn’t pay the rent, so I also work in Home Depot. Which is fine, you know... fine, because music is what I really want to do, and it gives me time to concentrate on that, so...”

 

“Do you have a safeguarding clearance?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“For working with minors?”

 

“It’s uh... I don’t know what one of those is,” I admit, embarrassed. “Look, truth be told, I don’t want to be here. My brother just said to do it, and I kinda need the cash because I’m saving up to pay for studio time to make an album and... Yeah. I don’t know the first thing about kids, or how to teach them, but I do know a lot about piano, and music, and how liberating and joyful that can be.”

 

She nods, then stands. “Come along, then. The piano’s in the conservatory. For now, since you don’t have safeguarding clearance, I’ll have to stay in the room with you. Let’s see how you get on.” 

 

The house seems to go on forever; we go back through the dining room, through the kitchen, into some kind of office, and then into a large, bright, airy conservatory. A grand piano sits there, waiting to be played, far more luxurious and opulent than anything I could ever hope to own. 

 

And I am to teach a five year old how to play it. 

 

“Right.” I smile down at the little girl, who looks pretty terrified, while the nanny settles the other two on a large mat with an assortment of toys. “So, Maggie, um... come sit here.”

 

I take out the large piano stool and she sits in the middle. I perch uneasily on the end, all too aware that Polly is watching and that I don’t have whatever clearance it is that I need. I don’t want to do anything to accidentally cause alarm. 

 

“Do you know your alphabet?”

 

Maggie nods. “Like my ABC’s?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“In Spanish, or English?”

 

“Oh. Uh... We’ll stick with English for now. So, every key on a piano, has a letter name. A, B, C, and so on, up to G. When you get to G, you start over again. Got that?”

 

“Yes.” She nods again, solemn and serious as she stares down at the keys. 

 

“Now, with a piano, we always have this note here, as the center point, because it’s in the middle. But the funny thing is, you’d expect it to be an A, right? But it’s not, it’s a C, and this one right here, is called middle C. For now, we’ll just use the white keys, and worry about the others another time. A lot of the stuff you’ll start with, will use middle C as a base, okay? So you need to remember its name, and where it is. Can you do that for me?”

 

She looks up at me then, her blue eyes wide. “It’s not that hard.”

 

I swallow. “No. Right. Okay.” I can’t help but laugh at her answer. “So you tell me then, what this note might be called?” 

 

I play the D next to it, which she correctly identifies, then the E, F, and G. I move back down, to the B. Maggie thinks a moment, then says “B?” 

 

“Very good. Smart girl. This?”

 

“A.”

 

“And this?”

 

I play the G below the A, and wait as she scrunches her nose. “C?”

 

“Ah, I got you! It’s a G, look.” I take her tiny hand, and play from the lower A, up to the G, and then up to middle C, naming each one as I go. “See? Good note naming, though, Maggie. Very well done.”

 

“You did got me.” She gives a small, brief smile, and then looks up again. “Are you mad that I got it wrong?”

 

“Mad? No, I was just having a little fun, that’s all. I think you’re super smart.”

 

“Oh. Mr. Anderson?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you know how to play, or are you just pretend at it?”

 

I laugh loudly at this, and so does Polly. “I can play. I was just a little bit older than you when I started, actually. Nearly seven.”

 

“That’s a long time ago. In the old days.”

 

“Yep. Want me to play you something?”

 

She nods, and scoots to the other end of the bench to listen. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star seems like a good place to start, so I play and sing that and a couple more nursery rhymes, then stop. 

 

“You sing pretty.”

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“Mr. Anderson, do you know how to sing the Toy Story song? My daddy sings that one.”

 

From her position on the floor, Polly looks up sharply. “That’s not Mr. Hummel,” she says quietly, and I understand her meaning. 

 

“Call me Blaine,” I tell Maggie, suddenly feeling desperately sad. “The song... Is it You’ve Got a Friend in Me?”

 

“Yes!” Her whole face lights up momentarily, and she looks so alive, so full of wonder, that my heart could burst, but she shuts down in an instant. “Yes,” she says again, quietly. 

 

“I know it. Want me to play it?”

 

She merely nods, and sticks her thumb in her mouth, but when I start to play and sing along, she slides closer and closer to me until she’s pressed against my arm. 

 

“You got a friend in me.” I finish, and smile down at her, but there are tears swimming in those sweet blue eyes, and I’ve managed to make a child cry during my first ever piano lesson. Great. “Maggie?”

 

“I think that makes my heart sad,” she decides. She stares at her hands that twist and turn in her lap. “I don’t know why, because I thinked it did make me happy when daddy singed it.”

 

“Hmm, well, music has a funny way of doing that to us,” I tell her honestly. She listens, waiting for more and I flounder for a moment. How honest and forthright can one be with a five year old? In particular, how much can this one cope with, when she seems to have been through so much already? 

 

“I love music,” I say, “because it can take me places, like dreams do, you know? It can make me laugh, make me cry, make me feel all things in between, and it can remind me of things, or places, or people. Like this..” I play the Star Wars theme. “This music reminds me of the first time I ever watched Star Wars, with my dad and brother. And this,” I play some Beethoven, “reminds me of waiting in a room, ready to play for an audition to get into college. When I was nine, my nana died. There was this one song she would always sing with me, and I loved it. You wanna hear it?” 

 

“Will it make you cry?”

 

“No, it’ll fill me up with... with rainbows and sunshine. Here, listen.”

 

I play Puff the Magic Dragon, something I haven’t done in many years, and sure enough, it does bring a big smile to my face. Alice and Joshua watch me from the rug, but the best reaction comes from Maggie, who ducks under my arm and fuses herself to my side. 

 

“I like that a lot,” she says when I’m done. “The dragon is funny.”

 

“He is. You know what, though? When my nana died, I couldn’t listen to that song without wanting to cry, but I still wanted to sing it, because it was our song, and it made me feel close to her. Gradually, over time, the sad feeling, and the tears, kind of stopped, and I managed to be happy when I thought of her. I expect, with your daddy, you have lots of happy memories of that song, but maybe right now, your heart is sad about that. I think, if you keep those memories in your heart, and don’t try to shut them out, then over time, they’ll fill you up with rainbows and sunshine, too.” 

 

“I think I’d like that.”

 

“I think you would too. It’ll happen, you just gotta give it time.” 

 

“Hey.”

 

I jump about a foot when I hear the other voice; I’d even forgotten Polly and the other kids were in the room, but I turn to find Kurt Hummel standing there, looking like he’s just come from the pages of a fashion magazine, which he possibly has, of course. He wears ripped blue jeans and a black shirt, with a light blue scarf at his neck. Impossibly fashionable, even for the hipster streets of Brooklyn, I think. His hair is high on his head, and I am very surprised to see those blue eyes really are as sharp and piercing as they seemed online. No photoshop needed for this guy. 

 

I get to my feet, because in all honesty, I’m a little intimidated to see him for the first time when I’m sitting there with my arm around the shoulders of a girl who is not his daughter but clearly means something to him. 

 

“Hi.”

 

“Mr. Hummel, this is Mr. Anderson, the new piano teacher.”

 

“Oh, hi.” He offers his hand and a warm, friendly smile. “So, is she as good as Mozart?”

 

“Better.” I shake his hand and wink at Maggie at the same time. 

 

“Mr. Anderson isn’t vetted, yet,” Polly explains. “Which is why I’m in here with him. But Maggie is thoroughly enjoying herself.” 

 

I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s still nice of Polly to say. 

 

“Okay, well, Mr. Anderson, ask my manager to arrange the necessary documentation for you. You’ll also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I take my privacy very seriously, especially right now.”

 

“Of course. Oh, and you can call me Blaine.”

 

He looks me up and down. “I’ll stick with Mr. Anderson. Kids, I’m going to be gone for the rest of the day. Be good.”

 

And with that, he is gone. 

 

“Wow.” 

 

“He’s uh... Well, I think life has changed a lot for him, in a very short space of time,” Polly says diplomatically. “But he’s not here much, if that concerns you at all.”

 

“I’m not here to teach him.”

 

“No. So you’ll come again?”

 

I look down at Maggie, who is sitting on the edge of the piano bench, trying to look as though she’s not listening. 

 

“Sure.”

 

A bright, brilliant smile lights her little face. “I like that.”

 

“Three times a week?”

 

“That’s a lot of piano,” I tell Polly, but she shrugs, and glances at Maggie again. 

 

“Of course. Yes, three times a week is fine.” 

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

 

**Blaine**

 

“So it was okay, then?”

 

Grabbing three beers from the fridge, I hand one to my brother, one to my roommate, Sam, and settle on the small couch with my own. 

 

“No, it was weird. Didn’t you listen to anything I said? I don’t know why he has these kids, whether it’s a long term thing or what, but he showed no interest in them at all, and they’re clearly kids with issues.”

 

“They’re there to stay, I think,” Cooper tells me, flicking through the channels on the TV. “Certainly when I was there, he had decorators in, doing up bedrooms for them. Didn’t seem like they were there on a temporary basis.”

 

“If he’s taken them in, then he should pay more attention to them,” I grumble. “Instead of leaving them with a nanny.”

 

“He’s a celeb,” Sam points out. “That’s what they do. Have kids then have someone else look after them.” 

 

And Sam is right. I teach piano to Maggie on Wednesday, and again on Friday, and I only see Polly each time. Kurt, or Mr. Hummel as I guess I’m supposed to call him, is always absent; busy in meetings, is what Polly says, though I can’t help wondering what she thinks of it all. 

 

I don’t get a chance to ask though; the children are always present, and they can’t exactly be left alone while we discuss them. Quinn gives me endless forms to fill out and sign, including one that forbids me from talking to any press about Mr. Hummel, his lifestyle, or what services I provide. 

 

“Makes me sound like I’m his rent boy,” I joke, but Quinn gives me an icy glare and waits for my signature. 

 

In her lessons, Maggie is quiet, studious, and solemn, and I do wish she’d relax a little more. She’s a sweet girl, and Alice and Joshua are cute as buttons, but none of them are how I’ve always imagined kids to be; loud, boisterous and giggling balls of energy. Each lesson, I teach Maggie for twenty five of my thirty minutes, and then spend time playing and singing for her and the other two. I know she likes it, and I hope it brings some happiness to her rather bleak existence. 

 

On the weekend, I venture to a music store in Brooklyn, where I purchase a stack of easy piano books which I can in no way afford to do. On my way out of the store, I see a bright purple bag, decorated with gold musical notes. It’s for a child to tote their sheet music to lessons, I assume, but I hesitate only a second before I buy that too, and present it all to Maggie the following Monday. 

 

“Really for me?” She holds the bag reverently in her hands as I kneel in front of her. 

 

“Yes, if you’d like it. If you hate it, or it’s not your color, I understand.”

 

“Gold is my favorite,” she says softly. “And I have purple on, look.” She shows me the sleeves of her top, which match almost exactly to the bag. “Thank you, Blaine.”

 

“You’re welcome. And I know you don’t have to tote your music anyplace, but...”

 

“But I can keep the books in my room and bring them down for lessons!” Her sudden exuberance surprises and captivates me, and I grin. 

 

“You can, what smart thinking.” 

 

She throws herself into my arms and really, what can you do except hug back just as hard? She’s adorable. I no longer dislike all children. 

 

“Blaine, that’s super sweet of you.” Polly ruffles my hair as she passes to settle Joshua on the floor. “Make sure to leave the invoice for the books on Marc’s desk and he’ll reimburse you.” 

 

“Who’s Marc?”

 

“Mr. Hummel’s PA.”

 

“Oh. Well, no need. The books are my gift to Maggie as well. She’s....”

 

I stop suddenly, because Joshua begins to move. “Did you know he could crawl?”

 

“Oh!” Maggie falls to her knees, patting the floor in front of her. “No I did not, but we’ve been trying, haven’t we, Joshy? Come on! Come to us, that’s it!”

 

The sheer excitement that follows is overwhelming, and, when I look back on it, I wonder how we all got so completely worked up about something so simple as a child crawling for the first time, but there we are, Polly, Maggie, Alice and me, all on our hands and knees, encouraging 

Joshua to crawl. 

 

He’s slow and steady, but undeniably pleased with himself, and his gummy grin, complete with a line of drool trailing onto the floor, is just the cutest. It’s Maggie he reaches, and she pulls him onto her lap, showering his face with kisses while Alice also tries to get in on the action. It’s the happiest I’ve ever seen any of them, and the moment is truly wonderful. 

 

Then Kurt arrives. 

 

“What’s all the noise?”

 

Polly looks up from where she’s helping Maggie to hold the baby. “Joshy crawled!”

 

“Joshua. His name is Joshua.”

 

“Right, yes, of course.”

 

“Well, that’s good he can crawl, isn’t it?”

 

“Very much so.” 

 

He nods, and looks as if he’s going to leave again, but he doesn’t. He gets down on the floor with us, and carefully takes Joshua from Maggie’s arms. He gives her a kind smile, kisses the baby’s cheek, and turns his attentions to Alice. 

 

“Is your brother smart?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“What do you think, Maggie, is he the best at crawling?”

 

She scrunches her nose. “A bit the best, but me and Alice did do it first.”

 

“Very true.” It’s only then that he seems to notice I’m in the room, and he sets Joshua down on the floor, clearing his throat as he does so. He’s awkward, I suddenly realize. He doesn’t know how to interact with anyone; not me, nor Polly, or the three children that live with him. 

 

“How are lessons?”

 

“Great,” I say, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. “Maggie shows a real aptitude for music.”

 

“Blaine buyed me these,” Maggie says, proudly showing him her books. “And I have a special bag to tote it all in, too.”

 

“Very cute.” Kurt smiles, pats her on the head, and gets to his feet. “I’ll let you get on with the lesson. Just put the invoice on Marc’s desk.”

 

“They were a gift.” 

 

That makes him stop in the doorway and turn back around. “She doesn’t need gifts. I have enough money.”

 

I get to my feet too, determined to stand my ground. “It wasn’t about the money. I wanted to buy her a gift for being such a good pupil. I wanted to make her smile.” 

 

I feel Maggie’s small hand slip into mine. “Blaine makes me smile more than anyone,” she chooses to announce. “Expect when Joshy crawls.”

 

Kurt opens his mouth, shuts it again, and briefly shakes his head. “His name is Joshua,” he eventually states, and then he leaves the room. 

 

When I arrive at the Hummel residence on Wednesday afternoon, I am surprised when Kurt answers the door, himself. In fact, I’m so shocked that I stand there on the steps of the brownstone, staring, until he snaps at me to get inside. 

 

“Sorry.” 

 

He slams the door closed behind me. “If a picture of me looking like this ends up in the newspapers, I’ll kill you.”

 

He looks perfectly fine to me; in jeans and a cream cashmere sweater, but his attitude gets me. “Threatening the staff. Nice.” 

 

“Ugh. Sorry. Bad day. Quinn’s sick, Joshua keeps crying.”

 

“Get the elusive Marc to help out.”

 

“He is not elusive and he’s here already, thank you very much. Anyway. Polly’s upstairs, trying to settle Joshua for a nap, so...”

 

There’s a pause, and we both stand in the doorway, unsure of what to say. Eventually, he just leads me through the house to the conservatory, where Alice and Maggie are already settled. They both are pleased to see me, and Maggie proudly unpacks her books from the bag while Kurt sets Alice up with headphones and a tablet. I don’t tell him that my clearance has arrived, and that he doesn’t have to supervise if he doesn’t want to; I choose to view it as an opportunity for him to see how lovely these kids are to spend time with. 

 

“Right, little lady, have you been practicing?”

 

“Yep. Every day.”

 

“Good girl. So, let’s start with some scales.” 

 

It takes about two minutes for Alice to decide she’s not watching anything on a screen, and she hurls the tablet to the floor and marches over to me, instead, climbing onto my lap. Kurt ignores this; he’s too busy on his own tablet, whereas Polly usually has her well under control. 

 

Delighted to be allowed to join in, Alice bangs the piano keys hard, and sings. “Let it go, let it go, am one in windy sky!”

 

“That’s....”

 

“Let it go, let it go! You never see me cry!”

 

“Good, good.” I seize her tiny wrists and pull a face at Maggie. “Thanks, Alice, for that beautiful rendition. Idina has nothing on you.” 

 

Maggie giggles. It’s such a foreign sound that it makes both Kurt and I stop what we’re doing and look at her, and then she giggles again. “Alice is funny.”

 

“Alice is a terror.” I tickle her tummy, and Alice squirms and giggles along with her sister. “Come on, let Maggie play for us.” 

 

I am glad that today, it’s Kurt sitting in, because having Alice on my lap seems to give Maggie the confidence she needs to be more relaxed, and she laughs often and smiles even more. At the end of the lesson, she asks for Puff the Magic Dragon and this time when I play, she joins in with the words, while Alice shouts along in her own way. 

 

“Thank you, Blaine,” Maggie says at the end. She briefly cuddles close then pulls back again. “I see you Friday?”

 

“Yes, but earlier than usual, because I have to work. I’ll be here just after you’ve had your breakfast.” 

 

“Do you have a job?”

 

“I do.”

 

“A real one?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh. I didn’t know that. Where is your real job?”

 

Embarrassed, I glance over to Kurt, but he has earbuds in, thank goodness. “Do you know a store called Home Depot?”

 

“I think I do.”

 

“Well, I work in one of those. Then, I play piano in bars, for grownups, when it's nighttime.”

 

“Do you play the Puff song?”

 

“Nope. That’s our song, just for us.”

 

“I thought it was your nana’s song?”

 

“I’m sure she’d want me to share it,” I say with a wink, and then she’s down from the bench, along with her sister, and they take off through the house to find Polly. 

 

“You give a good lesson,” Kurt says softly. His voice startles me, and I look up to find him leaning on the piano, watching me write in Maggie’s practise book. 

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I didn’t realize you work in Home Depot.”

 

I shrug. “Gotta pay the rent somehow.”

 

“Absolutely.” There’s nothing more to say, so I finish writing and neatly return the books to Maggie’s bag before placing it on the stool, and then he speaks again. “I’m sorry if I came off as rude, before.”

 

“When was that?”

 

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m sorry if I come off as rude, period. I find it hard to know who to trust.”

 

“And yet you hired me to teach your child piano without ever having met me, or having my clearance forms done, nothing.” 

 

“In fairness, your brother is quite a dominant force, and he kinda railroaded me into it.”

 

“But when I text you, you didn’t even ask me any details. Did you know I’ve never taught anyone before, let alone a kid?”

 

“No, but I didn’t text you, that would have been Marc or Quinn. Marc, most likely. I don’t give my own number out.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

“Anyway, as it turns out, I think you’re doing brilliantly. Maggie clearly adores you, and so does Alice. Polly says your visits make them all really happy.”

 

“Well, that’s good, I guess, but it’d be nice to see them happy all the time.” 

 

“They’ve been through a lot.” 

 

“So I hear, although no one seems to tell me anymore than that. Just...cherish them, Mr. Hummel. I am in no place to tell you how to parent or care for them; I have zero experience with kids, but I do know that they are wonderful people, and they seem to be in need of a lot of love, right now.”

 

Instead of going off at me like I thought he would, Kurt bows his head and nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I know you’re right, I just don’t know how to go about it all.”

 

“Mr. Hummel...”

 

“Just...call me Kurt, okay? I’m sorry about that, too. God, I’m a jerk.”

 

His words fill me with an unexpected warmth, and I smile. “Perhaps not as much of a jerk as I first thought. You have to call me Blaine, though.”

 

“Blaine. Sure.”

 

“Hey, Kurt!” 

 

If Kurt had been about to say more, he’s shut off when the most outrageously camp man I have ever seen, suddenly arrives. I know it’s the elusive Marc, but I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve the withering glare he rakes over me before sticking his nose back in the air. “Oh. It’s the piano player. Kurt, People magazine want an exclusive on your move to New York. Quinn thinks you’ll say no, but I think it could be a real goer.”

 

“No.”

 

“But...”

 

“I mean it, Marc. I’m not doing it. I want to give the kids time to settle here and....”

 

“Have you seen them, Kurt? They look like freaking models. Do a shoot with them and you’ll be top billing in every magazine and newspaper the world over.”

 

“Yeah and I don’t want to be top billing,” Kurt snaps. Color flares in his cheeks, but I can’t tell if he’s angry at Marc, or embarrassed that I’m witnessing it all. “I want to act, and that’s all. Quinn’s right; I am saying no, and very firmly.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“And can you pick up my dry cleaning, please? It’s been two days.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“And can you chase up about that decorator? He was supposed to come back and finish painting the third bathroom.”

 

Affronted, Marc deliberately glares at me again. “Fine,” he huffs once more before walking off. 

 

“Sorry about that.”

 

“It’s...”

 

“Don’t say fine.”

 

I laugh. “Okay. It’s okay. I’d better go. Tell Maggie I’ll see her Friday.”

 

“I will, and thank you, you know, for...”

 

“It’s fine.” 

 

“Oh, you did not!” Kurt laughs loudly, something that really pleases me, and gives a small wave goodbye. 

 

Sam is waiting when I get back to our small apartment in Queens. It’s not much, but then neither of us, as struggling musicians, have much money. Sam works in a computer store, but neither of us like to take on too many shifts just in case that all important call comes to say we’ve landed the deal of a lifetime. Our evenings, when we’re not out trying to play gigs, are for writing, though Sam has a tendency to try to turn these sessions into beer and pizza evenings, often inviting his work friends over. Tonight, though, mercifully, it’s just him, and I’m glad, because I feel off, for some reason that I can’t fathom, and I just want to chill on the couch with my guitar. 

 

“Did you see the jerk celeb today? Is he still ignoring his kids?”

 

I frown, absentmindedly picking out a tune. “He’s not a jerk, actually. He’s a pretty nice guy.” 

 

“Doesn’t sound like it from what you were saying the other day. I was telling this dude at work about him, and I...”

 

“No!” I sit upright immediately. “Tell me you didn’t say too much, Sam, please! I had to sign an agreement that I wouldn’t disclose anything.”

 

“Like what? I didn’t say anything, just that he’s an asshole.”

 

“I don’t think he wants anyone to know about the kids, that’s all, so it’s really important that you don’t say a word. I’d lose my job, for a start, but more importantly I don’t want them being hounded by press. They’re so vulnerable.” 

 

“Okay.” Sam shrugs. Not much affects him. “So, what made you change your mind on him, then?”

 

“Don’t know, really. I just get the feeling that he’s struggling.”

 

“Aren’t we all?”

 

I sigh, and settle back on the couch once more. “Yeah, I guess so.”

 

“You seem down.”

 

“Hmm. A lot on my mind, I guess.”

 

“Come out tonight?”

 

“I’m not sure.”

 

“I have a date, but I could call her and see if she has a friend?”

 

“Nah, I’m good, thanks. I might just stay here and write.”

 

“Oh come on, Blaine. You never date!”

 

“I do date! I just... Y’know, I just want to concentrate on music, that’s all.”

 

“When was the last time you had a date?” he asks, and hell, I wish he’d just shut up. “Like, a year ago?”

 

“I took that girl out for dinner last month.”

 

“As a favor to your dad, because she was the daughter of a client! Blaine, you need to connect with people, let people in.”

 

“I do! I have you, and Cooper. Santana.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Just leave it Sam, okay? I’m happy enough as it is.” 

 

Sam gets to his feet, squeezing my shoulder as he passes. “I would leave it bro, if I thought you were actually happy.” 

 

At some point, I fall asleep. Deeply asleep, too, with weird ass dreams that then wake me up on the couch, just before dawn. Sam isn’t home, which isn’t unusual when he has a date, so I pull my clothes off and take a shower, before collapsing back into bed. Sleep won’t come though; there’s a song nagging me to be written, and by the time I leave for my Home Depot shift, I have the best part of it complete.

 

I meet my brother after work, and we grab dinner at our favorite Mexican joint. As ever, we talk about anything and everything, including our weekend visit to mom and dad. 

 

“My shift tomorrow finishes at six, so pick me up right from work.”

 

“Yeah okay.” Copper finishes off his burrito and reaches for the remains of mine. “So, Sam got lucky then?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“And you?”

 

“I stayed home to write.”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“I did! In fact, I think I must’ve had a dream about you last night.”

 

“Lucky you.”

 

“Well, it got me a song, so...”

 

“Explain.”

 

“I fell asleep on the couch, and when I woke up I knew I’d had a weird dream but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just couldn’t get blue eyes out of my head. Like they were plaguing me. So this morning I ended up writing a song about it.”

 

“About me? Aw, little bro, that’s adorable.”

 

“Yeah, not about you, but it must’ve been your eyes. So you’re the inspiration.”

 

“It’s about me.”

 

I laugh, and kick him for good measure. “It’s not about you! It’s about falling in love. Definitely not you.”

 

“It’s me,” Cooper says smugly. “And when you’re rich and famous, I’m going to tell the world you’re in love with your brother.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Blaine**

 

I make sure to arrive at Kurt’s place at quarter before eight, as I’d agreed with Polly, because my shift at Home Depot starts at nine. I’m already going to be pushing it to make it to work on time, and I probably should have said I couldn’t do today at all, but I couldn’t let Maggie down. 

 

Kurt answers the door, with a screaming Joshua on his hip. Both are still in their pyjamas, and when a naked Alice tears down the hallway towards me, screaming her delight, I take a step backwards. 

 

“Woah!”

 

“Polly’s sick, Quinn’s sick, and I’m seriously regretting every decision I’ve ever made in my stupid ass life.”

 

“Oh. Well, that’s...”

 

“Just get inside,” Kurt barks. “This is hell.” 

 

He hands me Joshua as soon as the door is closed, not realizing I’ve never held a baby before. Boy, is he wriggly, too. “Why is he crying?”

 

“If I knew that, he wouldn’t still be doing it, would he?”

 

“Very good point.” 

 

I follow Kurt to the kitchen, where Alice is now standing on the counter, trying to get into a cupboard, while Maggie sits under the table, crying. The only one who seems entirely happy with the situation is Alice, but she soon takes to wailing her displeasure when Kurt takes her off the counter and tries to force some pyjama pants on. 

 

“No, no, NO!” she screams. “Not you, don’t like you, mean Kurtie!”

 

“Just put some clothes on, please.”

 

“NO!”

 

“Save me, Blaine, I’m begging you.” Kurt turns to me, and looks so perilously close to tears that I’m honestly stunned for a moment. 

 

“I’ve... I need to make a call,” I say, resigning myself to the fact that I will most definitely miss the first part of my shift. “Take Joshua.”

 

It’s the first time I’ve ever had to call in, and luckily my boss buys the excuse of my niece being sick, and tells me to make it in by ten. I return to the chaos, nod at Kurt and survey the scene. “I think... I think we need to feed them,” I decide. “Because I think that might make them a little easier to handle.”

 

“Food. Yes. Right.”

 

It doesn’t take long to warm a bottle of milk for Joshua, and while Kurt sets about finding cereal and toast, I sit at the kitchen table with the baby on my lap. Silence descends. 

 

“Oh thank the Lord,” Kurt says, with a heavy sigh. Alice sits, still naked, on the counter, watching as Kurt gathers plates and bowls, and it's then I turn my attentions to Maggie. 

 

“Hey, you wanna come say hi?”

 

She shuffles nearer to my feet, her blotchy, tear-stained face peering up at me. “Hi.”

 

“You know, I have another knee, if you want to sit up here with your brother.”

 

She nods, and silently ascends. We both watch Joshua, who stares back at us with big, dark eyes, his tiny hands over mine, holding his milk in place. Maggie cuddles closer, and suddenly I feel as though I could sit here all day, enjoying the domesticity this moment provides. 

 

“Um, Alice? Since your... Kurt... is making food, do you think you could put some clothes on?”

 

“No,” she says, but she hops down from the counter and pulls her pyjama top on. It’s backwards, and perhaps it would have been better to clothe the other end first, but at least it’s a start. 

 

Maggie’s hand finds its way to the back of my neck and rubs there. “Blaine?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why isn’t Polly ever coming back? Were we bad?”

 

“Huh? I don’t... Um...”

 

Kurt comes over, setting a pile of toast on the table. “That’s my fault. I kinda... might’ve...said that she wouldn’t ever come back to this hell hole. I’m sorry, Maggie, that was really bad of me. She’s just sick, that’s all, and none of us want you to get sick, so she’s staying at home until she’s better. She’ll come back, I promise.”

 

“That’s what they said about mommy.”

 

“Yes, well....”

 

“Yes well what?” I ask, when Kurt carries on pouring cereal. “Don’t say that. That’s the most adult answer you can give, and it’s infuriating for a little kid.”

 

“For a little kid, or for you, because you want to be nosy and find out how come they’re here?”

 

“I’m sitting here feeding a child that’s supposed to be your responsibility, and holding another. I’ve called in late for my shift to help you out. You really wanna start this with me now?”

 

He sighs. “No. No I don’t. Sorry. Thank you for helping. I’ll pay you whatever money you lose.”

 

“I’m not desperate.”

 

“No, but...”

 

“I don’t want your money.”

 

“Right. Can I pay you in toast, then?”

 

I smile, and relative peace is restored. We eat in silence, and when Joshua has finished his milk, he chews on some toast, smearing it everywhere. Kurt takes the three of them upstairs to find clothes, and I use the time to clean the kitchen for him and load the dishwasher. It’s Maggie who reappears first, dressed in a cute pink ballet outfit, her hair pulled back into something like a bun, even if it’s not the neatest. 

 

“You look lovely.”

 

She doesn’t reply, just goes into the conservatory and sits on the stool, waiting, so I begin the lesson. We are undisturbed for twenty minutes, but then Alice arrives, hotly followed by Kurt, who tries but fails to tempt her down to the playroom. I am fast learning that Alice is extremely strong willed, and I don’t envy Kurt the battle he will have on his hands when she’s older. 

 

“She can stay, it’s okay.”

 

“Thank you. This is like, the worst day ever, and it’s barely nine in the morning. Oh, can you take Maggie to ballet on your way to work?”

 

“What? No!”

 

“Please?”

 

“Kurt, I don’t have a car, for a start, plus I’m supposed to be in by ten. Is ballet even on my way?”

 

“I don’t know, because I don’t exactly know the location of each and every Home Depot store, do I?” Kurt snaps. “Look, I can loan you a car. You have your license, right?”

 

“Yes, but...”

 

“Please, Blaine? You only have to pull up outside and drop her on the sidewalk, that’s all. She can find her way inside. Please?”

 

I look from Kurt, to Maggie, and back again. “Oh fine. But you owe me, big time.” 

 

It turns out that Kurt loans me a massive Range Rover with blacked out windows. It’s a beast of a car, and I feel almost invincible in it, except there’s a small child strapped into the back seat, staring at me with terror on her face. 

 

Maggie is entirely silent for the whole ride, and when I pull up outside of the dance school, she only continues to look at me, barely blinking. “Okay?”

 

She says nothing. 

 

“Are you going to go inside then?”

 

She glances up at the building, then back to me, and I swivel about in my seat so I can look at her properly. “What’s wrong? You like ballet, don’t you?”

 

“I don’t know,” she whispers. “I didn’t go before.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I never did do ballet. Kurt just said I was going to do it now.”

 

The situation becomes suddenly, painfully, clear. This is Maggie’s first ever ballet lesson, and Kurt assumed it’d be okay to leave a five year old on the sidewalk and hope for the best. “Shit. Oh! Shit. Sorry, Maggie. Really sorry. Okay. You want me to walk you inside?”

 

“Yes please.”

 

“Sure.” I look at the clock. Nine thirty. There’s now no way I’ll make it to work by ten, but I’ll just have to take the heat, I guess. I leave the car where it is; Kurt can damn well pay any ticket, and take Maggie’s hand. She seems to meld into me, and doesn’t look at anyone or anything except her feet. 

 

“Can I help you?”

 

“Oh, this is Maggie,” I tell a woman dressed all in black. “It’s her first lesson.”

 

“How wonderful.” She crouches down. “Hello, Maggie, I’m Miss Elle. Are you a little nervous?”

 

Maggie nods. 

 

“Of course, well don’t worry, your daddy can stay with you the whole time, and...”

 

“I’m not actually her parent,” I explain, and the woman stands up again. “I’m just actually the... well, I just gave her a ride over here, that’s all, and now I really have to go.”

 

“Oh. We usually ask that a parent stays the first week, or at least...someone.”

 

“I appreciate that, but I really can’t. I have to get to work, and...”

 

“Please don’t leave me, Blaine.”

 

Maggie’s voice is so soft, so full of emotion, and so heartbreakingly innocent, that I crumble. Kneeling down, I take her into my arms and hold her trembling body close. “I won’t. If you want me to stay, then I will, I promise. I just need to make a call, okay? Just two seconds.” 

 

She nods, and I dash outside. I tell my boss I won’t make it in at all today, because I’ve already decided that Kurt and I will be having this out. My last minute call doesn’t go over well, however genuinely apologetic I am, and even my offer of working extra on Monday doesn’t make the situation any easier. 

 

I feel like crap, but when I walk back into the ballet school, Maggie runs to me, and as I pick her up and hold her tight, I know I’m where I’m meant to be. 

 

Ballet is nothing short of tedious. It’s a full forty five minutes of my life that I will never get back, and to make it worse, I am the only male among a gaggle of nannies who all sit and moan about their high profile employers. Right now, I feel like I could join in.

 

Marc is waiting outside when the lesson finishes, looking bored, but he raises his eyebrows when he sees me, and fixes his face into a grimace. “I thought you had to work in a store.”

 

“I did, but Maggie needed me.”

 

“I fail to see why.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll take her back to Kurt.” 

 

“I was sent to collect her. He’s on a call with his producers.”

 

“Where’s Alice and Joshua?”

 

“At home. Come on.” He jerks his head at Maggie, but she refuses to let go of my hand and I walk her to the car. 

 

“I have to take the car back to Kurt anyway,” I call to him. “So you can...I don’t know. Go pick up some dry cleaning, or something.” 

 

Feeling a small sense of satisfaction, I put Maggie in the car, and we drive away. Kurt is very surprised to see me return, and even more shocked when I march through the house to the playroom where Alice is coloring a large sheet of paper. “Where’s Joshua?”

 

“Taking a nap, why?”

 

“Right. Girls, I’m going to put a movie on, and me and...Kurt, will be just in the kitchen, okay?”

 

“For a grown up talk?” Maggie asks. 

 

“Yes.” I set Rapunzel to play and steer Kurt from the room. “A grown up talk. Exactly that.” 

 

“What have I done?”

 

“What have you done?” I pace back and forth in frustration as Kurt sits at the table. “Kurt, that was Maggie’s first ever ballet lesson, and you told me to set her on the sidewalk!”

 

“Is that not...”

 

“It’s horrible, that’s what it is! Totally mean! And then I took her in, and was told that an adult has to stay for the first lesson, so guess who had to call work, again?”

 

“Shit, Blaine, I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry for me! Be sorry for that little girl in there who just exists. Have you noticed that, Kurt? She exists. She doesn’t live, she doesn’t find much enjoyment in anything, and she needs your support. She needed you today, to hold her hand, to tell her she’s a beautiful ballerina. At the very least she needed you to be waiting after the lesson, instead of that jerk with his too tight jeans and ridiculously pointy shoes.”

 

“I know that!” he cries desperately. “I know she needs me, I know they all do. I just... I don’t know what to do with them, Blaine, how to be.  _ What  _ to be. A parent, an uncle, a friend... I lie awake at night, hating myself for the way I am, but I just don’t know where to begin.”

 

He drops his head into his hands and stares at the table. I wait, but he doesn’t say anything more, so I figure coffee might be in order. 

 

“Thanks,” he says when I set the mugs on the table. “So...where is Marc?”

 

“I don’t know. I wanted to bring Maggie home so we could talk.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Kurt, I... I really like these kids, and I actually like you, too, but I can’t keep coming here unless you’re going to tell me more about them, or at least how come they’re living here.”

 

He nods, and fiddles with his coffee cup. “I need to to promise you won’t tell anyone. I don’t want the press to find out....”

 

“You can trust me. Anyway, I signed that thing, didn’t I?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So?”

 

“You’re the only one, you know, who talks to me like that.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like I’m just an ordinary person.”

 

I frown. “You _ are _ an ordinary person. In what world would you think you were different to anyone else?”

 

“It’s just that I...” He stops. “Nevermind.” 

 

“Delusions of grandeur,” I tease. “Anyway, tell me, otherwise I’m gone, because I mean what I say.” 

 

He sighs. “So I studied at NYADA, and I um...I was in this relationship that ended badly. Like, really, terribly badly, and it was all my fault. It was uh... I cheated. I think, and it’s not an excuse, but I think I’d grown up in this small town, where I was badly bullied, and then I came to New York and I just kinda... I wanted to be wild and free. He was older, and had done all of that. He came at our relationship from the angle of wanting to settle down and be deeply in love; I viewed it as a bit of fun.”

 

“He? You’re...”

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

“No, I just didn’t realize, that’s all. Carry on.”

 

“Well, we were living together, Nick and I, and to get out of it, I made sure he caught me.... I don’t think you need details, I’m sure you can guess. The thing was, Nick was like  _ the _ nicest guy. Even when I broke his heart he never bad mouthed me, or bawled me out. In fact, he wanted to work it out, and then I had to tell him I wanted it to be over. I was a vile little shit, basically, and in the end, Nick left the city altogether. Word reached me that he’d gone back to San Francisco, and met someone who had two daughters.”

 

“Maggie and Alice?”

 

“Yeah. And I was happy for him, really. I graduated and was working, feeling okay about life, really, I’d done my first few movies and then I got lucky and landed Cold Water.”

 

“I don’t know what that is.”

 

“Oh.” He recovers quickly from his surprise. “That’s the movie I did that was kind of my breakout hit, I guess. It’s what landed me Firestone and... and you don’t know what that is either, do you?”

 

“Is it the show you’re gonna do?”

 

“Yeah. So I was coming to the end of Cold Water press tour, and my name was everywhere. Suddenly everyone wants to be your best friend, you know? All those kids that bullied me, were hounding my dad for my number... It’s why I hired Quinn, really. We were in High School together, and she knows the score. Anyway, Nick contacted her, and asked her to pass his number along. She knew who he was, of course, and thought it strange that he’d gotten in touch. So I called, and um... um...” 

 

He breaks off, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “He uh.... Oh, God. Excuse me, a moment.” 

 

“That’s okay.” I flounder for a moment; it’s unusual for me to see a guy so emotional. “More coffee?”

 

“There’s some whiskey in that cupboard.” 

 

“It’s not even eleven in the morning and you have three children in the next room.”

 

“Ah, crap. Coffee, then.” 

 

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard.”

 

“No, I’m gonna just blurt it all out, because you’re right, you need to know. Nick was in San Francisco, still, but he had full custody of the girls, and now Joshua, too. Their mother...”

 

“Hang on...Nick is...”

 

“Bisexual.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“She had issues, addiction issues. Prescription drugs and such. Alcohol, I think. She’d been in and out of rehab, but Nick being Nick, ever the nice guy, he looked after the girls, and supported her...then Joshua happened.”

 

“Woah. Is he okay? I mean, the effects....”

 

“He’s fine. She was clean when pregnant, but suffered badly after, and pretty much went back to her old ways at full speed. She was taken into a secure unit, for her own safety, and she’s still there now. She tried to smother Joshua twice, and, we think, tried to hurt Alice, but Nick was vague on that, and Alice doesn’t, or won’t remember it so... So she’s gone, anyway. When he called me, she was out of the picture. Nick thought...said...Joshua was his, but he can’t be. He just can’t. Nick was strawberry blond, I’ve seen a picture of the girl’s mom and she’s fair. You don’t just pop out a kid with jet black hair and dark eyes like that.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

“But that aside. When Nick called, he had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer.”

 

“Wow, Kurt that’s...”

 

“I know.” He breaks off for a moment again. “So here’s the shit part, the part that’ll probably erase all the good things you ever thought of me. Nick asked me to take them in, when he died, and I agreed. His family had disowned him long ago; he had no real friends. He knew I was financially secure, could offer them a good life. We talked a little longer, and then, three weeks later, he died. As quickly as that. And I... I just did nothing. A welfare officer called me, and said Nick left a piece of paper telling them to contact me about the kids and I.... I pretended like I didn’t know what they were talking about. I mean, it wasn’t legally binding or anything. I was so caught up in myself, in my own, fancy LA lifestyle that I’d played my dying friend for a fool. I didn’t even make the trip to visit him. Just told him words he wanted to hear without having any intention of following through.”

 

“But they’re here now.”

 

“Yeah. They were sent to an aunt on the mother’s side. She already had five kids of her own, and lived in near poverty. She didn’t want three more. They were badly treated. Abused. Let’s not sugar coat it. Not sexually, but verbally, physically- enough that they were taken into foster care. The welfare officer called me again, to ask if I’d reconsider. She said Joshua could be adopted easily, possibly Alice, but Maggie...”

 

“Too old?”

 

“Yeah. Isn’t that disgusting? And I lay in bed, and I thought, I can’t split those kids up. I spent my whole life wishing for a sibling and now I’m about to knowingly send those kids off into new lives without each other, and I just... I knew I could give them a home. Only now they’re here, and I don’t know how to even start to form a bond with them.”

 

Kurt drops his head into his hands again and I reach out, gently squeezing his shoulder. “Kurt, what you did was so brave, so magnanimous...”

 

“It wasn’t though, was it?”

 

“Yes it was, and I completely understand your reluctance, your denial. I think I’d be the same, to be honest. I also think it’s understandable that you’re finding it difficult to bond with them, but I do think you need to try harder.”

 

“I know, but I get so wrapped up in work, and then I get home and they’re just...here. And there’s Polly waiting to detail every part of their day to me, and all I want to do is read, or watch a movie, alone.” 

 

“Have you tried reading with them, instead? Or watching a movie?”

 

“I’ve never done anything with them,” he admits. “I talk to them, obviously, but they’ve been living with me for a month now and I’ve never taken them out anywhere, or played games with them... Today was the first day I fed them and dressed them.”

 

“Maybe you need to schedule time for them, at first. Make it a thing. A couple of hours a day where it’s just you and them. No Polly, no Quinn, no calls, or meetings, just you and them.”

 

“Polly isn’t their actual nanny,” Kurt then reveals. “She’s from child welfare. Some kind of adjustment and rehabilitation worker? I don’t know. Another nanny comes in the evenings, from an agency. Always seems to be a different person.”

 

“Get rid of them.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You don't need another nanny in the evening, Kurt. You need to parent these children yourself, or else you need to find them someone who can.”

 

Getting to his feet, Kurt drains the rest of his coffee and then stands in front of the sink, looking out at the yard, thinking it all over. 

 

“I want to love them,” he says eventually. He turns, tears swimming in his eyes. “I want them to be as pleased to see me as they are to see you, or Polly. I want to hold them in my arms and make it all okay for them. I want to see them happy, you know? I want to give them happiness because they deserve it. They really do.” 

 

“I agree.” I get to my feet and go to him. I don’t know why, but I just feel as though I should be near to him. I want to be. 

 

“I want to love them, Blaine,” he says again, and then I catch him in my arms, just as the tears start to fall. 

 

He feels oddly at home in my embrace; I guess because I’d sensed somehow that the tears were imminent. I’ve never held a guy like this, so close, so tightly, but it's what Kurt needs right now and I know he’s grateful from the way he clutches at my sweater and cries onto my shoulder. 

 

“I’ll help you,” I tell him softly, suddenly and unwittingly opening up and entirely new existence for myself. “Whatever it takes, Kurt, I’ll help you, and them, to be a family, I promise.” 

  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Blaine**

 

The embarrassment and awkwardness sets in for both of us when Kurt’s tears are all gone and he pulls back, clearing his throat. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. You have quite a lot to deal with right now. I get it.”

 

“You uh... You probably need to go. I’m sure...”

 

“I said I’d help you, didn’t I? So I’ll help.”

 

“I’ll pay you the money you lost today.”

 

“No you won’t. You can... I don’t know. Feed me pizza, or something.”

 

He laughs, and wipes the last of his tears away. “Sure thing.”

 

“I mean, not literally feed it to me...”

 

“I get it. But I’m still going to make up your wages.”

 

“You are not! Please don’t, Kurt. I know you’re super rich, and I’m not, but please don’t make me feel bad about it.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to do that, I swear.”

 

“No, I’m sure it comes from a good place, but please.... I know. Let’s ask the girls what they want to do.”

 

“What?”

 

“Come on.” I grab his hand; it seems as though we’re now comfortable enough with one another to be a little more relaxed, and pull him into the playroom, where Maggie and Alice are very cutely curled up together on the white couch, still watching the movie. 

 

“Why did you buy a white couch for the playroom?”

 

“I didn’t. I asked an interior designer to do it all.”

 

“The whole house?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So none of this is actually your choice?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Fine. Girls? Kurt has something he wants to ask.”

 

They look up, and then past us both, trying to see the screen. In the end, I pause the movie, but there’s no protest like there should be from a stubborn three year old and her big sister. I think back over what Kurt has told me. They’ve been passed around and treated horribly; no wonder they’re just resigned to so much. 

 

Kurt kneels in front of them, and places one hand on Maggie’s knee. “So, I was wondering if you’d like to do something today?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like uh... We could watch a.... No, no, you’re watching a movie. Uh... we could... Oh! I know! We could make cookies! I make really good cookies. My dad taught me. So we could do that, or we could play a game, or we could...”

 

“We could take a walk?” I suggest. “Brooklyn Bridge park is right across the street.”

 

“The park!” Alice cries, and her sister catches onto the excitement and claps her hands together. 

 

“We like the park! Polly takes us sometimes.”

 

“We can’t do the park,” Kurt says, horrified. “What if someone sees us? I’m not ready for questions, Blaine, I’m not. And I don’t want their pictures....”

 

“You must leave the house, Kurt, surely? Put a hat on, wear some sunglasses; no one is going to suspect it’s you with three kids in tow, are they?”

 

“Please Kurt? Alice likes the swing,” Maggie says.

 

“I do!”   
  
“Okay then.” He nods, seemingly to convince himself he can do this. “Yes.” 

 

We eat lunch; a shameful mix of more cereal, yogurt, fruit, and cake, but the kids think it's brilliant and Joshua spends the whole time giggling. It’s harder than it appears, to make it out of the house with three children; there’s a stroller to wrestle with for a start, and then shoes to put on tiny feet, coats to fasten up, and then everything to take off again when Alice decides she needs to pee. It takes a long time, but we finally open the door, to find Marc returning from wherever he’s been. 

 

He’s shocked to see us, and I get that, but there’s still that undeniable sneer aimed in my direction before he lays a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t be out with them, and certainly not with him.”

 

“We’re only going to the park,” Kurt tells him. “We won’t be long.”

 

“Just check no one’s tipped the paps off first.”

 

“Nope, no one has- it’s just been me, Blaine, and the kids all morning, and I don’t think Joshua can operate a phone yet. See you later. Can you pay those invoices while I’m gone, please? And also, contact Total TV about my shoot next week. Quinn was supposed to do it, but she’s going to be out sick all weekend.” 

 

“Fine,” he huffs, making me smile, and I take Maggie and Alice’s hands in mine, leaving Kurt to the stroller. 

 

“He likes you,” I say as we walk down the street.

 

“Because he’s the only other gay person you know? He does not like me.”

 

“No, because he hates me and sees me as a threat, that’s how I can tell. I knew he liked you before I knew you were gay, you fool. And anyway, I’m certainly not suggesting you date someone like him.”

 

“You really don’t like him, do you?”

 

“No I do not,” I snap, and for some reason, I feel anger starting to build. 

 

“Well, I have no intention of dating him,” Kurt says with a laugh. “He has horrible taste in shoes.”

 

That makes me laugh too, and the moment seems easier once again. We cross the street to the park, and I let go of Alice and Maggie, though they stay close by. “You can run, it’s okay,” I tell them.

 

Maggie looks at me as if I’m a lunatic, and takes my hand once more. 

 

“Too much, too soon?” Kurt asks. 

 

“I think it might be,” I say, and then I swoop Alice up into my arms. “Let’s find that playground.” 

 

They play, at the playground, which is good to see since I’d thought they might just observe, but they climb about and enjoy the slide, before heading to the sandbox. Kurt and I sit on a nearby bench, with Joshua in his stroller. 

 

“You’re not out, are you?” I ask as we watch the girls. 

 

“Hmm, well, I guess not.” We both look at the sandbox and not each other; it makes the awkwardness easier to deal with. “I mean, I’m not exactly in the closet, either. It’s no secret among those that know me, or people who work with me. I just... I’ve never met anyone I’ve liked enough for it to necessitate my openness, I guess. I usually take Quinn to events, or my dad to any red carpet stuff.”

 

“What would you say, if you were asked?”

 

“In an interview? I wouldn’t be. It’s on my list of questions that mustn’t be asked. Right now I’m kinda... well, I’m at the top of my game. I haven’t been asked to hide my sexuality, but studios have asked about it, and it’s been strongly implied that I wouldn’t get such great roles if I was out and proud.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Yeah. Oddly enough, it’s thought that if you’re in a stable, committed relationship then the public accept you being gay much more than if you’re single; there’s still the misconception that gay men sleep around. That’s partly why I don’t want the press to know about the kids; I don’t want that to lead to questions about how or why I have them but no partner, which in turn could reveal that I’m gay.”

 

“I think...not to be mean, but I think a gay man caring for three kids is something not many people would understand.” 

 

“Right? I'm hoping this show does well, and gets renewed, because if it does, then I think I'd maybe feel more comfortable about their existence being known.” 

 

“Because you'd have job security?”

 

“Exactly. Is that dumb?” 

 

“No, I get it. Tell me, did you always want to be an actor?” 

 

“An actor, yes, but not a star. It's very different. I wanted to do Broadway, actually, so I guess that would've brought some notoriety, but not like this.” 

 

“How come you didn't?” 

 

“Couldn't make it.” He shrugs, then turns his attentions to Joshua. “I have the most ridiculous singing voice. Counter tenor. There's no roles for people like me. So I was going up for bit parts in movies just to make a living, and suddenly the director saw something he liked, and that was it. Now I'm earning more money than I could ever spend, my face is everywhere, and I'm lonely as hell.” Pulling Joshua free from his stroller, he kisses his cheek and just for a moment, holds him close, blocking the world out. “Come on, let's see if he likes the swings.” 

 

I don't push Kurt to talk any more, but his words do come back to me throughout the day, and I find my heart aching for him. Sure, he owns a brownstone in Brooklyn which must be worth millions, and he seems to have a stock of cars and staff at his disposal, but I'm not sure I'd trade. Despite the constant struggle I have to get my music heard, I'd say I have relative peace and happiness in my life; a strong network of friends, a loving family, and freedom to do what I want. Kurt is a virtual prisoner, now with three young children to consider. 

 

Joshua does like the swing, and so does Alice. Maggie is slightly more reticent, and prefers to help push the others, but for the first time, all three look happy, healthy, and relaxed, and their joy is reflected in Kurt’s face too, as he smiles, laughs, and pulls goofy faces for them. 

 

“Want me to take a picture for you?” I ask, and though Kurt hesitates, it's only for a moment before he crouches down between Alice and Joshua in the swings, and holds his arms out to Maggie. She goes willingly, squeezing him tight around his neck, so overjoyed that he is showing her some affection. The resulting photo is beautiful, and even in sunglasses and a baseball cap, Kurt’s happiness is apparent. 

 

“Let’s ask someone to take one of all of us,” he decides, taking my phone. 

 

I let him search, eventually asking an older couple who clearly have no idea who he is. I'm glad. We sit on the bench; I hold Joshua and Alice, he holds Maggie, but what surprises me the most, is that Kurt takes his hat and glasses off, and puts one arm about my shoulders. 

 

“Adorable,” the woman taking the picture declares, before handing the phone back to Kurt and smoothing Maggie’s hair. “What a beautiful family you have.” 

 

“Oh, thank you. They’re not....” But she is gone, and Kurt turns to me, biting his lip. “Sorry. I didn't meant to make it look like...” 

 

“I'm not offended, Kurt. Sheesh.” 

 

“No, but...” 

 

“Kurt, it doesn't matter what other people think. It's a good picture, look. I'm not offended if people assume we’re a family. Have you seen you? If they honestly think I can land someone like you, then I'm flattered.” 

 

“Ha!” He gets to his feet, and puts his hat and glasses back on. “Come on. We passed a coffee truck back there, and I'm in need of some caffeine.” 

 

Friendship with Kurt is easy. The more time we spend together, the more we discover things we have in common, such as the fact that we’re both huge comic book nerds, and we both have an unhealthy obsession with Power Rangers that didn't die in childhood. He hates football, I love it, but his dad loves it also, he tells me, and orders me to meet with him next time he's in town. We love the same food, prefer wine over beer, and enjoy the same musicals. We also, both of us, have no clue about raising children, but I do tell Kurt he's doing an admirable job today.

 

The kids are exhausted when we get home, and Kurt’s step tracker tells him we've walked them over six thousand steps; probably a lot for little legs. I find Sesame Street on the TV, and they all flake, including Joshua, who looks adorable sitting on the couch between the two girls. Kurt and I retreat to the kitchen, which is fast becoming some kind of sanctuary, and he rubs a hand over his face. 

 

“I'm so damn tired.”  

 

“Same, but you know what? I think you made a whole heap of progress with them, in just a few hours.” 

 

“Yeah? I don't know. I still feel on edge, like I might say or do something totally dumb at any moment.” 

 

“Eh, you might. You probably will, but I don't think you have to be perfect, by any means. I think you just have to be loving, and kind, and fun to be with, and you're doing all of that.” 

 

It feels right to hug him; like it's needed and wanted by both of us. Perhaps it is strange. Perhaps it does go on longer than a hug between two friends should, but it's certainly by no means uncomfortable; if anything, I feel totally at peace. 

 

“Ignore me,” Marc trills, coming into the kitchen. “I didn't realize you were having a moment. Kurt, you might want to see this.” 

 

We pull apart, and I lean against the counter while Kurt examines whatever’s on Marc’s screen. “Hmm, well, it's only on some blog, and there's no pictures or anything.” He hands the phone to me, and I don't miss the look of disgust from Marc. “Blaine, what do you think?” 

 

_ OMG you guys _ , the post reads.  _ So I was JUST in Brooklyn Bridge Park and KURT HUMMEL was there! _

 

There follows multiple comments, mainly asking who he was with, and eventually the original poster comes back. 

 

_ IDK, with some guy and his kids. Nieces and nephews? IDK. It was cute, though. _

 

“That’s...how do they... we’ve been home like, ten minutes. That’s insane.”

 

“That’s the world of celebrity,” Kurt says morosely. He hands the phone back to Marc. “Thanks for letting me know. I’m not really bothered at this stage. The kids needed to get out, and we had fun. It is what it is.”

 

“Hmm, well, you might wanna make sure people aren’t tipping the press or fans off about where you’re going or what you’re doing.”

 

“Unless you are, Marc, then no, I think that post was nothing more than a chance sighting. In fact... Hang on. Are you saying you think Blaine tipped someone off? Because that is way out of line.”

 

“I’m not saying that,” Marc lies. “It’s just...you know... I realize it’s easy to be flattered by all the attention, but you don’t really know Blaine. No offense, Blaine.” 

 

“None taken.” I step closer to Kurt, letting our arms brush together. “Kurt knows me better than you think.” 

 

My implied meaning is clear, and Marc blushes. “I’m sure.”

 

“I mean it, Marc, don’t you ever accuse Blaine of something like that ever again.”

 

“Fine,” he huffs, and I hide my face in Kurt’s shoulder to keep from laughing as he flounces off. 

 

“I’m sorry,” I tell Kurt the second he’s gone. “I can’t help it. His words ignite some kind of childish reaction in me.”

 

“I noticed. Making out like you’re sleeping with me.”

 

“Sorry.” 

 

“I should tell him you’re not gay, but then it wouldn’t be fun anymore.” He winks, making me laugh with relief more than anything. 

 

“I didn’t tip anyone off, just so you know. I wouldn’t even know how.”

 

“Blaine, I mean it, I know you wouldn’t do that. Please don’t worry. Let’s order pizza instead.” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

I forget entirely about my brother, and the fact that he will be expecting to pick me up from my shift so we can drive to our parents for the weekend. Of course, he calls right as the pizza and the nanny arrives, and chaos is reigning supreme. 

 

“I’m helping Kurt out. I don’t think... I don’t think I’m gonna make it.” 

 

“What? You’ve been there all day?”

 

“Yeah. It’s a long story, but... But I think I’m gonna be needed this whole weekend. His manager is sick, the nanny is sick, and... hold on. Alice! Alice, sweetie, don’t climb up there. Kurt will get plates in a moment. Sorry. I gotta go.” 

 

“What am I supposed to tell mom and dad?”

 

“Just tell them something came up at work.”

 

“Hmm, well, I hope he’s paying you for babysitting his kids.”

 

“I don’t want him to pay me, you moron. He’s my friend.” 

 

“Sure Blaine, whatever.” I can practically hear my brother rolling his eyes at me. “A world famous celeb with childcare issues suddenly wants to be your BFF. Of course.”

 

“You don’t know him, Cooper.”

 

“And neither do you. Just be careful, Blaine. People are always taking advantage of your good nature and I don’t want it to happen again. I’ll call you Monday.” 

 

“Ugh.” 

 

Kurt looks up from where he’s setting pizza boxes on the table. “So am I allowed to ask where you were supposed to be this evening?”

 

“This weekend, actually. My brother and I were going to visit my parents.” 

 

“Blaine! You should’ve said.”

 

“I forgot, in all honesty. It’s been a funny kind of day. But it doesn’t matter. They only live an hour upstate so I see them regularly.” 

 

“Wine?”

 

“I think it’s needed.”

 

“Too right.” Kurt opens a bottle, then hands me a glass before raising his own. “To you. Thank you for saving me today, and thank you for what you said to your brother, about us being friends.”

 

“We are, aren’t we?”

 

“I’d like to think so. God knows I need one.”

 

“Then to us,” I decide, knocking our glasses together. “And friendship.” 

 

The nanny feeds Joshua and puts him to bed, while Kurt and I sit at the table with Maggie and Alice to enjoy the pizza. Maggie tells us a hundred times that she’s never had takeout pizza, and once she’s eaten a slice, she also tells us that she only ever wants to eat takeout pizza.

 

“Not gonna happen, I’m afraid,” Kurt says, laughing. “Though it’s a nice idea. This is just a special treat because Blaine told me to feed him pizza.”

 

“You have to feed him!” she squeals, clapping her hands. “Feed him the pizza!” 

 

Fueled by a second glass of wine, no doubt, as well as a need to impress my young audience, I lean over the table to Kurt, who sits opposite, and open my mouth. “Go for it.” 

 

“Well that’s nice, looking into that cavernous hole,” Kurt says. He rolls his eyes and picks up a slice of pizza. “Here.” 

 

I have never heard laughter like it; Alice climbs onto the table for a closer look, while Maggie shrieks and claps in between her hysterical giggles. I eat the whole slice, and by the end, both Kurt and I are helpless with laughter, too. 

 

“You know, I always thought of feeding another adult as a sensuous experience,” Kurt says, wiping at his eyes. 

 

“Are you saying that wasn’t?”

 

“Not at all. No.” He kicks me for good measure, then takes a slice of pizza for himself. 

 

“You want some help with that?”

 

“You wanna be told where to get off?”

 

It’s a perfect evening. After dinner, Kurt helps the nanny to give the girls a bath, something I don’t feel right to intrude upon, so I clear the kitchen of pizza boxes and dirty plates and then grab my jacket and wait in the hallway for him to return. 

 

“You’re going?”

 

“Well.” I shrug. “They’re going off to bed, so my work here is kinda done...”

 

“Right.” Maybe I imagine the disappointment, and maybe I imagine the heavy sadness I feel at the thought of taking my leave, but I certainly don’t imagine the awkwardness, when both of us want to say something, but neither of us seem to know what. 

 

“Tomorrow?”

 

“What about it?”

 

“I could come by?”

 

“I’d like that. Um... In fact... I’d like it if you could spend the day with us again.”

 

“Yeah. I’d like that too.”

 

Kurt smiles. “Gimme your phone.”

 

I hand it over without question, but I’d assumed it was so he could send the photo to himself, not so that he could put his number in. “Text me when you’re on your way. Come for breakfast.”

 

“I will do. Night, Kurt. Thanks for a great day.”

 

“Likewise.” He opens the door, and the streetlight makes his eyes shine brighter than ever. “Sleep well.” 

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Kurt

Blaine is back before eight the next morning, and I am eternally grateful to the nanny who gets the children dressed before leaving, meaning I have time to shower and make myself look presentable. It’s not that I need to look good for any particular reason; more that it gives a better impression to Blaine than the one he got of me yesterday morning, when I felt as if the world might be ending. 

The kids are happy to see him, and I am too, I’ll admit. Since moving back to New York, the only real friend I’ve had around me has been Quinn, and as lovely as she is, a lot of our time together is spent working, so it’s nice to spend time with someone as eternally optimistic as Blaine in a social capacity. 

Last night, when he’d gone, I checked up on that blog post again. There was discussion over whether the man I had been seen with could be a boyfriend, but it was dismissed on the basis that “he clearly has three kids of his own.” It helps that Joshua looks so much like him, I think. 

The speculation about my sexuality doesn’t bother me; there’s been talk before and there’ll be talk again. The blog post hasn’t been picked up by any larger news or gossip sites, so I feel pretty confident that it’s probably okay for us to walk the couple of blocks to the bakery to get pastries for breakfast. 

The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day, but as Blaine and I quickly discover, it is not wise to take three young children out of the house without feeding them first. 

Alice is like a squirrel, trying to climb every tree she sees, while Maggie drags her feet and moans about how far it is to walk. Joshua, meanwhile, cries and whines from his stroller, and it proves to be an intensely annoying noise. 

“Oh my God we should just go home,” I decide, turning about, but Blaine takes the stroller and points me back in the right direction. 

“It’s at the end of this block, you said.”

“Yes, but...”

“So walk it, Hummel. Maggie, come here and I’ll sit you on my shoulders.”

He smiles at me from behind his sunglasses, and it’s infectious. I find myself feeling brighter, happier, and more determined, and I grab the stroller with one hand, Alice with the other, and we quickly make it to the end of the block. 

In the end, breakfast is fun. Chaotic, sure, but fun. 

“They’re getting louder,” I tell Blaine as Alice starts singing. 

“Kurt, I hate to tell you, but she’s always going to be loud. But yes, as a collective, they’re coming out of their shell a bit more. They like it, you know, the stability of spending time with you, and the fact that you’re interacting with them.”

“I like it too,” I admit, though I am exhausted and really craving five minutes of silence. “I’m wondering whether I’m brave enough to bake cookies with them today?”

It turns out that small bodies can very quickly have too much sugar, and by mid-afternoon, after we’ve baked two batches of cookies and a cake, everyone is more than a little fraught. Joshua is screaming, and Alice and Maggie are fighting, something I’ve never seen them do before. Even Blaine looks worn down and fed up, but he picks up the baby and firmly pulls Alice away from ripping Maggie’s hair out. 

“Enough, I think. Kurt? I think we need to separate them for a while.”

“Good plan. Uh.... there’s three, though, and only two of us.”

“You take Alice. Maggie, come on, we’re going to play some piano for Joshy.”

“His name is Joshua,” I call after him, and he stops in the kitchen doorway and glares at me. “You wanna start?”

“No. No, I absolutely do not. Sorry. Go right ahead.” 

To the sound of Blaine’s playing, and his and Maggie’s voices singing along, I settle in the playroom with Alice to read a story. Peace descends, and very soon Alice goes off to sleep, her little rosebud mouth hanging open. I cradle her closely, smoothing her soft blond hair, and I’m in such a trance that I don’t even hear Maggie coming into the room until she climbs up next to me. 

“Hey, sweetie. You okay?”

“Yes. I like it when Blaine sings with me.” 

“I like that too.” I put my spare arm around her and pull her close. “It makes me so happy to hear your voices. Where is he, anyway?”

“I’m here.” I look up to see Blaine coming into the room, holding a sleeping baby. He walks at a snail’s pace, looking utterly terrified but undeniably pleased. 

“I’m not sure I can handle the cuteness.”

“I’m not sure I can handle walking and holding a baby at the same time.” 

“Sit here.”

“Will I fit?”

“Yeah.”

It’s snug; in all honesty the couch isn’t that large, and Maggie has to sit half on me, half on Blaine, but there’s something extremely comforting about all of us being snuggled together like this, and Maggie is content to settle watching TV, her thumb firmly wedged in her mouth. 

“You look very smug, baby whisperer.” 

“I don’t know about that. He just got fed up with our singing, I think.” Blaine looks down at Joshua, now resting on his chest, and gently strokes his cheek. “Look at him, Kurt. He’s beautiful. It’s like... he does something to my heart. They all do.”

“I know what you mean. He looks like he could be yours, you know.”

“Yeah, I’ll have to borrow him sometime and show him to my mom. ‘Look at what your grandchildren would would have looked like,’ that kind of thing.”

“Would have? Surely there’s still time. How old are you?”

“Twenty seven. But no. Eternal bachelor, that’s my hand in life.” He looks down at Joshua again, and kisses the top of his head. “Beautiful boy.”

His open, honest affection for these kids moves me to tears, and I have to look away for a moment lest Blaine think I’m a complete idiot. I’ve never had a guy friend; sad but true. Not a straight one, anyhow, so I’m making assumptions, but I don’t think many guys are as sweet and heartfelt as Blaine. He’s a special breed, and I thank whatever lucky star brought him into my life.

I don’t know how much time passes, but I do know that when I wake up, Blaine is sound asleep and Maggie is still watching the TV quietly. Alice is also awake, but content to stare at the screen too, and it’s only Joshua’s stirring that eventually wakes Blaine, who is more than a little embarrassed. 

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, you two looked adorable. It’s what Saturday’s are all about, isn’t it? Being lazy?”

“I guess. I should probably get going...”

“Stay for dinner?”

“It’s...” He trails off, lost in a thought that I don’t think he’s willing to share. “Could I take you out for dinner? All of you?”

“Are you insane?”

“Probably. But there’s this great little Mexican place near my apartment, and I think you’d like it.” 

“Where’s your apartment?”

“Queens. They’re not big fans of superhero franchises out in Queens.”

“Is that so? Well, I guess then, if it’s Queens....”

He looks elated, and though I feel some twinge of paranoia, I figure it’s worth it if it’s going to make Blaine happy. 

The restaurant is small, and charming, and the food is divine. It turns out that while Joshua can’t eat a full meal, he’s content to sit on my lap and chew on bits and pieces, while the girls both sit nicely, having come down from their sugar highs, and they relish being out with us. If Maggie tells us it’s exciting once, she tells us a hundred times. 

“Gonna be Batman, gonna be Batman,” Alice tells herself while coloring in her paper placemat. “Gonna wear wings, an a hat, and wings, an a hat, and wings, an...”

“You like Batman, Alice?”

She looks up, her blue eyes wide, surprised anyone has noticed her ramblings, which kind of breaks my heart a little bit. “Yep. And Care Bears.”

“Of course. You know what I do? For my job?”

“You be Kurt.”

“Well there is that, yes, but also, I make TV shows and movies, and pretty soon, I’m gonna be in a big TV show where there’s lots of amazing things happening. Have you heard of Cold Water?”

“No.”

“Oh. Have you, Maggie?”

She scrunches her nose and thinks. “Like when the water won’t get hot? For the bath?”

“Not exactly, no. Nevermind.” 

“Face it, Kurt, no one knows who you are,” Blaine teases, but for some reason, it stings. 

“I was just trying to grab their interest, that’s all. Don’t worry about it, Alice, I’ll tell you another time.”

“Kurt, do you know how to get to Sesame Street?”

“No.” 

“Oh. Well, I’m gonna be Batman. Gonna have wings, an a hat, and wings...”

She carries on, and Maggie goes back to her coloring. The waiter takes our plates, and when we’re left alone, Blaine covers my hand with his. “I’m sorry. That was meant to be a joke but it was actually really mean.”

“No, it was a joke, I got it.”

“Hmm, no. I hurt you. I’m sorry. You have like, the coolest job, and you should rightly be very proud.” He runs his thumb over the back of my hand and offers a small smile. “Friends?”

“Of course.” I squeeze his hand in return, and the rest of the evening runs smoothly. 

When we leave the restaurant, Blaine announces he’s heading home, and though I offer him a ride, he insists he can walk the few blocks. Once again I find myself feeling deflated; two whole days in his company has left me almost addicted to his presence, and I find myself craving his conversation. 

“Why don’t you come back for a while?”

“Nah. It’s past their bedtime already, so...”

“I know, but you and I could have a drink or something?”

Looking down at the sidewalk, Blaine scuffs his foot on the ground. My invitation came off as flirtatious, I think, and that was not my intention at all, but I don’t know how to go about correcting my mistake. 

“I’d like that.”

“You would? Oh. Cool. Okay. Hey, you could sleepover, if you want. I mean, I have guest rooms, so you wouldn’t be on the couch or anything.”

There’s another pause, but it’s shorter, and Blaine nods. “That would be really great, actually. I can’t pretend that it’s anything other than completely depressing to say goodbye to all of you after such a good day. Last night kinda sucked.”

“Sleepover it is, then. Want me to swing by your place so you can grab some stuff?”

“It’s...small,” he mumbles. “Kinda...not fancy.”

“God, Blaine. I grew up in Lima, Ohio, in a tiny house with my dad. I don’t care where you live, or what it’s like, I care that you’re a decent guy and a good friend, okay?”

“Okay. Yes.” He nods again. “Yes please, then.” 

I'm surprised to find the nanny waiting when we arrive home; I'd completely forgotten about her, and it makes me wonder if Blaine is right and I could dispense with the agency altogether. Yet again it's a nanny we’ve not had before, and though she's perfectly nice, I feel a pang of jealousy that she's putting the kids to bed and not me. 

“So go kiss them goodnight,” Blaine urges when I tell him. “They’ll love that as much as you will, I promise.” 

“Come up with me then.” 

He pauses at the foot of the stairs. “I don’t know. I feel like it’s not really my place to be roaming all over your house.”

“Blaine, you’re staying over. You’ll need to get upstairs at some point. Come.” I take his hand, but oddly, he doesn’t let go. It’s weird; I’m not all that big on physical affection, but Blaine is a very tactile person, and somehow, I don’t mind it. In fact, each and every time he’s touched me, or held me, I’ve appreciated and welcomed it. 

He does let go when he sees the nanny though, and I can't say I blame him. She’s young, and amazingly attractive. What’s more, her face lights up like a Christmas tree when she sees Blaine, and he beams back. It’s a cute moment, but also annoying, and I can’t work out why, other than the fact that I’d rather she focused on the children instead of my friend. 

“I’m Catrina,” she says brightly, offering her hand. 

“Blaine,” he replies. “I’m...”

“The piano teacher,” I snap. “We’ve just come to say goodnight to the kids, if that’s okay?”

“Oh, sure, sure. They’re adorable, you know.”

“Yes I do know. They’re mine.”

I see Blaine raise his eyebrows at this, but he says nothing, and follows her into Maggie’s room, which is decorated perfectly in pink and white. She lies in her bed already, sucking on her thumb, but she sits up when we enter and holds her arms out. “Cuddle?”

“You bet,” Blaine says, but he ushers me forward, and I wrap myself around her, smelling the scent of apple shampoo in her damp hair. 

“Blaine? You have to cuddle too.” 

I’m slightly pacified when, in front of Catrina, Blaine takes both me and Maggie into his arms and kisses her little cheek. “Goodnight, beautiful,” he whispers. “Sweet dreams.” 

“What he said.”

“Kurt!” 

I laugh, then kiss Maggie on her nose. “Sweetheart, you are the most wonderful little lady, and I hope you have lots of happy dreams, okay? And don’t forget, when you wake up in the morning, Blaine will be here too.”

“Yay. Will you come and say good morning?”

“Why don’t you come find me?” Blaine suggests. “Wake me up.”

“I will!” 

When we finally leave the room, I notice that Catrina doesn’t seem so warm toward Blaine anymore. 

Alice is singing, naturally, and Blaine sings with her for a moment before instructing her to settle to sleep, and I kiss her face until she giggles. Joshua lies on his back, examining and eating his toes, but he turns at the sound of my voice and, in what is probably the best moment of my life so far, he quickly rolls over and tries to pull himself up on the crib bars so he can get to me. 

I’m unable to resist taking him out of the crib even though he should be resting, and I hold him close, bouncing him gently in my arms. 

“Did you know my voice, you smart boy? Did you? Yes you did!”

He gurgles and grins, planting his baby hands on my cheeks. 

“Nighttime now,” I tell him, and then he tries to eat my face, pressing his open mouth over my chin and bottom lip. “Ugh! Blaine?”

Blaine is right there, and he rests a gentle hand on my shoulder. “He’s kissing you, Kurt.” 

“He’s gnawing me.”

“He’s trying to kiss.”

Blaine is right; Joshua doesn’t let go, just continues to rest his open mouth over any part of my face that he can, and when I kiss back, he squeals his delight. “Shit, Blaine, take him. I’m gonna cry.”

“Nope, I’m not ruining the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. G’night, Joshy.” He kisses into his hair and steps out into the hallway. 

I don’t want to put Joshua back in his crib. I want to stand here forever, with him as a baby, innocently loving me with all of his heart. It’s overwhelming; I can feel myself falling headfirst into such a deep love for these kids. I’m powerless to stop it, but I find I don’t want to, anyway. Eventually I kiss him one more time, and settle him down, before finding Blaine still in the hallway, talking to the nanny. 

“Am I interrupting?”

Blaine rolls his eyes. “You know you’re not.”

“Good.” Deliberately, I take him by the hand again, and I know it’s petty, but I also know Blaine will allow himself to be led. “Come on, young man, our evening awaits. Catrina, you don’t need to stay past nine, if you want.”

“I’m supposed to stay until midnight.” 

“I know, and I’ll still pay your fee, but we can manage, I think. There’s two of us, after all.” 

She stops, looks at our joined hands, and nods. “Of course.”

“Why were you cruel to her?” Blaine asks as we head to the kitchen.

“Why do you want to date her?”

“I do not!” Blaine laughs, and hops onto the counter as I open the wine. “I was only being friendly.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sunshine.” 

“Trust me, Kurt, I have zero intentions of asking her out.”

I’m still not convinced, so I just hand him a glass and lead the way down to the living room; the only room I really love in the whole house. It has old, worn leather couches that used to belong to my dad, and which I never want to get rid of. The walls are a deep aqua, the furniture all dark wood, and it feels like home, especially when Blaine and I sit opposite ends of one couch, facing each other, our socked feet just touching. 

“I was supposed to be on a date tonight.”

Blaine’s admission surprises me; I hadn’t realized he was seeing anyone. “You didn’t say.”

He shrugs. “I didn’t feel all that great about it anyway, to be honest. My roommate set me up with his girlfriend’s sister. He’s been trying to do it for ages, and then Cooper told him I didn’t go to mom and dad’s, so...”

“What did you tell her, when you cancelled?”

He looks at me. 

“Blaine! You stood her up?”

“Strictly speaking, yes, but Sam and his girlfriend would’ve been there too, so...”

“And you say I’m cruel? You should’ve gone.”

“I’d rather be here with you.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true.” 

I sip my wine and let silence fall. I think we both appreciate it after an entire day in the company of small people. “Have you dated many girls?”

“Not really. There’s this long-standing joke between my brother and I that I repel women.”

“I can’t imagine that you do.”

“I have this friend, Santana. We dated all through High School; childhood romance, you know? I mean, we never... um... You know, we never got physical at all. So first semester of college, and we’re still dating even though she’s out in LA and I’m here, and she flies home to tell me she’s a lesbian.”

“Oh wow.” 

“Well, it was kinda hard to be mad at her, to be honest. Our relationship was really nothing more than a very close friendship, so I was just happy that she had found her identity. Anyway, I was single for a while; had a few dates here and there. Then I started seeing this girl on my course. We dated for about six months before she went off with another woman.”

“No way!”

“True. It happened to me again about a year back, too.”

“Oh my God, you turn women gay!”

He gets the joke, and we both laugh. It’s kinda cute to see Blaine shy and embarrassed; he has these wonderfully expressive eyes, and a way of ducking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. It’s easy to see how someone could fall for him. Not as easy to see why women would leave him, though.

“Have you ever been in love?”

“No.” He drains the rest of his wine and reaches for the bottle, refilling our glasses. “I can’t even say I’ve ever dated anyone that I came close to it with, to be honest. I guess... I think that really, music has been my focus. I don’t go looking for love, or a relationship, like, say, Sam does, or my brother. Santana says I’m crazy. In fact, everyone keeps telling me to get out there, put myself on the scene. Everyone wants to set me up, but I don’t know. I guess I think that if it’s gonna happen, it’ll happen, you know? I don’t want to force love, I just want it to be this wonderful, amazing thing... But then that’s probably why I write endless love songs. I’m a hopeless romantic. What about you?”

“Same, really. I’ve had relationships. Some short lived, some a little longer, but never longer than a year. I mean, I’ve never been....um... without it, shall we say.”

“Sex? God, I haven’t in ages.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It doesn’t really bother me, to be honest. I get by.” He winks, and it makes something flare inside of me. I squash it immediately; putting it down to the glass and a half of wine and the fact that I’m actually having an adult conversation with someone for once. 

“Well anyway,” I continue. “Like you, I just assumed it would happen. But it never has. Probably won’t now, either. This stupid fame game makes it hard to trust someone, to let them in, and now I’ve got three kids, so...”

“Yeah. You’re doomed.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Welcome. Hey, do you watch The Bachelor?”

We’re at the bottom of the bottle by the time we’ve finished discussing the show; both of us agreeing that it’s trashy but perfect, and the best guilty pleasure there is. Every so often, though, Blaine looks thoughtful, and a little lost, before he returns to the conversation. They’re brief absences, but notable, and finally he drifts off into some kind of daydream while he finishes the last of his wine. He’s nicely fuzzy; his hair breaking free of gel and curling cutely, his eyes getting heavy, his cheeks slightly pink, and I think I must give off the same vibe because he spends a long time looking at me, smiling softly. 

“Kurt?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s it like, with a guy?”

I have many variations of ‘the look,’ and I unleash my most withering glare on Blaine, who suddenly realizes what he’s said and opens his eyes wide in a panic. 

“I shouldn’t have asked that, should I? Aw crap. That was really inappropriate, I apologize. Sorry, Kurt. Really sorry.” 

I keep looking at him, until he’s appropriately shrunken and sorry, and then I raise one eyebrow. “What’s it like with a woman?”

He thinks, looking up at the ceiling. “Wet,” he decides, and I’m in such shock from his answer that my mouth gapes open. 

“That’s... That.... Nope,” I decide as my laughter bubbles to the surface. “I got nothing.”

Pleased, Blaine allows himself to laugh too, and then his answer becomes the funniest thing. I kick him in the thigh. “You’re gross!”

“You asked!”

“I wasn’t expecting you to answer!”

“Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize. It was...insightful.”

Our laughter calms and I wait. Timing is everything. 

“Of course, it’s not wet between two guys. That’s why they invented lube.”

This time, Blaine laughs so hard he nearly falls off the couch, and I know that if we had to explain ourselves to anyone in that moment, it would sound absurd. It takes a long time for us to calm down, and even then we snigger every so often, wrestling with our feet until we’re tangled together. 

“You’ll meet someone, you know,” I tell him. I reach out and move a stray curl from his forehead and he closes his eyes and smiles. “You’re too amazing to be left on the shelf.”

“I don’t know about that, but thank you.” He leans into my hand slightly. 

“Tired?”

“Yeah.”

“We should get some sleep. I think the kids wake up like, super early.”

Blaine sits up, then, looking confused. “Did that nanny leave?”

“Shit! Yeah, she did. I remember hearing the door shut. But we didn’t say goodbye or anything!”

“I told you I didn’t want to date her,” Blaine says smugly, so I give him a kick as he gets to his feet. “Now do you believe me?”

“Yes I do, now quit. Go to bed and dream of wet sex.”

“Ew! That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting.”

“You know it.” 

We part ways at the top of the stairs; me to the left and him to the right, but not before we’ve shared a hug. Blaine gives good hugs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Blaine**

 

I sleep deeply. So deeply, in fact, that I don’t hear Maggie and Alice coming into my room, until Alice bellows “Bane!”

 

“Jesus Christ! Ugh.” I sit, rubbing my eyes, before I smile at them. They look adorable; Maggie in her cute pale pink nightdress, and Alice in her Avengers pajamas. I notice they’re short on her, though, and wonder if Kurt has thought about buying them any new clothes, now that it looks like he will be keeping them, after all. “Good morning, girls. Did you sleep well?”

 

“Yes thank you,” Maggie says politely. She stands near the foot of the bed, while Alice burrows under the covers and emerges by my face. 

 

“‘Lo, Bane.” 

 

“Hello.”

 

“Your PJ’s are pretty.” 

 

I look down; plain navy pants and a white t-shirt. Okay. “Thank you. So, shall we go find some coffee?”

 

“Yuk!”

 

“Juice, then. And I’ll make breakfast.” 

 

If Kurt thinks it's strange to find me making French toast in his kitchen, he doesn’t say anything. He arrives with Joshua, smiles brightly, and kisses both girls before coming over to me at the stove. He’s taller, and shifting Joshua to the other hip, he hooks his chin over my shoulder from behind and sniffs. 

 

“Smells good.”

 

“Me, or the toast?”

 

“Both.” 

 

It’s a moment that can only be described as intimate, but not strange. When I think back to it, it should be, but for some reason, having Kurt in such close proximity, his body basically pressed into my back, feels comforting and warm. In fact, I go as far as to pull his arm around my waist, and we stay that way for a moment, both of us watching the toast in the pan. It’s only when Joshua starts grabbing at my shirt that we move, and I give the baby a little kiss, ruffle his hair, and then Kurt puts him in his high chair. 

 

It’s another perfectly domesticated day; we walk to the park again, and when Maggie starts to complain about the distance, Kurt wonders aloud if she’d like a bike to ride. The look on her face says it all, and then we’re driving out of town, to Toys R Us, where I discover that Kurt can spend an obscene amount of money in a very short space of time. There’s new bikes for the girls, a sit and ride toy for Joshua plus a tricycle, games, dolls, action figures, scooters, dress-up clothes, tea sets, books, art equipment, and a whole host of brightly colored toys for Joshua to eat, most likely. To be fair, if they were my kids, and I had the cash, I’d indulge them too. 

 

His shopping spree extends to the afternoon, when I mention about the clothes. While Joshua takes a nap, we sit in front of the computer with the girls, filling virtual basket after virtual basket with clothes, shoes, sneakers, and even more toys. I try to take my leave, then, but all three of them beg me to stay for dinner, and I know I’m only being polite in stating that I need to go home. The reality is that I’d much rather be with them. 

 

There is no nanny that night, and for the first time ever, Kurt and I bath three squirming children, and I even change Joshua’s diaper. It’s a long, arduous process, and despite starting it at six thirty, it’s still gone eight by the time they’re all in bed. 

 

“We’ll get better at it,” Kurt declares as we trudge wearily down the stairs. 

 

“We? Hey, I was only helping you out.”

 

“We,” he repeats. 

 

“Hmm. Well, only because they’re adorable.”

 

“All of us, or just them?”

 

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I turn to face him. “You know you are, now quit fishing for compliments. Do I get a glass of wine before I go home? Feels like we haven’t spent any time together all day.”

 

“Yes you do, and I totally get what you mean. They’re great, but have you noticed that each time we start a conversation, one of them butts in?” 

 

“Yes. Still, things are better, aren’t they?”

 

“Compared to how they were Friday morning, most definitely.” He hands me my wine and we sit at the kitchen table. “In fact, compared to how it’s been since they arrived, yes. It feels like... Not like they belong, so much, because it’s still very alien for me to have three children around, but more like...Like it’s a whole lot of crazy fun, you know? That’s what this weekend’s been to me. Fun.” 

 

“Same.”

 

“I’m sorry you missed seeing your parents, though.”

 

“It doesn’t matter.” I realize as I say it that I’d pretty much forgotten that’s where I was meant to be this weekend. 

 

“Will you stay, tonight?”

 

“I can’t. I start work at seven and...”

 

And there’s a part of me that’s wary of overstaying my welcome, but I don’t add that. The last thing I want is for Kurt to find my presence irritating, so I finish my wine and say goodbye, though I can’t deny that there’s a part of me that would like to be closing the door to the guest room, rather than riding the subway. 

 

_ Are you home yet? _

 

Kurt’s text makes me smile. 

 

_ No. One more train. _

 

_ You should’ve taken a car. That was remiss of me. _

 

_ Subway is fine. See you tomorrow? _

 

_ Probably not :( I have a pre-production meeting, then wardrobe fitting. _

 

_ Ok. Wednesday, then. _

 

_ I guess so. And hey, because this is easier to say via text, thank you for saving me this weekend. _

 

_ It’s been my pleasure, trust me. _

 

When I arrive at the house after work the next day, Quinn pulls open the door, and hugs me. “Thank you.” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh, Blaine!” Polly runs down the hallway and hugs me too, by which time I’m thoroughly confused. “I don’t know what you did with him, Blaine, but he’s like a different man.”

 

“Who? Kurt?”

 

“Yes! And the kids... Blaine, they were waiting at the window for me to arrive, so they could tell me all about their weekend. Do you know how delightful that was to see?”

 

“And the house,” Quinn carries on. “It looks lived in, loved.”

 

“It’s a bit of a mess, but...”

 

“No, it’s wonderful,” Quinn corrects, and then she kisses my cheek. “Seriously, Maggie said you stayed all weekend, and I’m so grateful. Kurt’s my employer, I know, but also a dear friend, and I don’t want to see him struggling like he has been.” 

 

“Right.” I feel awkward. Any assistance I might have given was hardly a chore, and given that Kurt and I have bonded closely over the course of a weekend, I’d say we both got as much out of it as the other. “Um, is Maggie around?”

 

“She’s ready and waiting,” Polly says, and I show myself into the conservatory, beaming at Maggie and pulling her into my arms. 

 

“I missed you.”

 

“I missed you, Blaine! And Kurt. He’s been gone all day.”

 

“Did you have fun with Polly, though?”

 

“Yes. Always. But Kurt likes us now, and it’s sad when he’s not here.”

 

“I get that. But he has to work, just like I have to work, and then Polly works with you, which is great.”

 

“I like Kurt. He’s soft.”

 

“Ha! That’s nice.”

 

“His eyes sparkle.”

 

“They do.” 

 

“And also, when he makes you laugh, your eyes go all squishy, like this.” She pulls a face, scrunching her eyes shut, and I can’t even deny it. Kurt does make me laugh like that, and I realize I’ve spent a long time doing that this past weekend. 

 

“Okay, yes. Good point. Now, come on, let’s do some playing.” 

 

I’m in the hallway ready to leave when Kurt returns. He’s breathless, though he could only have run up the steps, but his eyes are shining and he grins, happy to see all of us. “Oh, hey, I was worried you’d be gone. Hey, cutie pies!” 

 

He scoops Alice and Maggie up, but then tries to take Joshua from Polly and finds he doesn’t have enough arms, so Alice is passed to me, instead. It warms me, to see him so adorably confused, trying to get it all right, and then, when he’s kissed each of the children, he nudges my ankle with his toe, and smiles. 

 

“Stay for dinner? I got another bottle of that merlot you liked, and cheesecake. My way of saying thanks for all your help.” 

 

“I should...”

 

“Peas, Bane!” Alice yells. 

 

“Stay for dinner, Blaine,” Maggie begs. “Kurt’s all soft and sparkly, remember?”

 

“He is,” I agree, and then I blush fiercely when I realize Polly and Quinn are also present. It’s a dynamic they perhaps wouldn’t understand. “Yeah, I’ll stay. Thank you.” 

 

Polly goes early, and I overhear her telling Kurt how proud she is that he is no longer needing the agency to cover nights. I wonder how long she will stay for, too, and what Kurt will do about finding some form of childcare in the future, when he is working, but I don’t think it’s my place to ask those questions, not when there’s dinner to cook, and children to take care of. 

 

It’s undeniable that the kids diet over the weekend has been nothing short of appalling; mainly it has involved cake, cookies, cereal and pizza, but even so, I’d have thought they’d eat the pasta and marinara sauce Kurt makes for them. 

 

They don’t though. They throw it, smear it, drop it on the floor, mush it in their hands and somehow, in the midst of all that, a little bit of it finds its way into their mouths. Joshua’s hair is red by the end of dinner, and his face not much better. 

 

As a result, a bathtime during which they actually have to be cleaned, turns out to be utter hell. By the end of it all, Kurt and I are worn down and feeling low, but then there’s the kitchen to be cleaned. 

 

“Blaine, you don’t have to help if you need to go.”

 

“It’s fine.” I’m lying; I know Sam is waiting at home for a writing session. “I can’t leave you with all of this.”

 

“Why are they like this, Blaine? I don’t get it. I spend all day thinking about them, about getting home to see you, and then they’re hideous.” 

 

“I think they were excited, to be honest. Having you come back, and then I stayed to dinner... Maggie said she’d missed you.”

 

“She’s got a funny way of showing it.”

 

“But that’s just it; I think she was showing it, but fighting for your attention with the others. I don’t think they really know how to handle everything right now. They went from, I assume, having no affection at all, to being really unsure of their place in the world. Suddenly there’s several people all lavishing affection on them at once, and it’s making them a little giddy.” 

 

“I thought I was getting somewhere,” he says as he wipes down the high chair. “I really did. This evening feels like one giant step backward.” 

 

“Oh, hey. No, no, come on.” Dragging Kurt to his feet, I hold both of his hands and look him in the eye. “This is a minor crappy evening which all parents have, all of the time. I’m sure if you ask your dad, he had plenty of them with you, too.” 

 

“Hmm, I guess he did.” 

 

“Has he met them yet?”

 

“No. I mean, he knows they’re here, but I wanted to wait until... Well, I wasn’t sure if I’d keep them. I’d like him to, though. Maybe I should invite him to visit. I’d like him to meet you.”

 

“Me? Why?”

 

“Because I think you’d get along great, and I think he’d like the fact that I’ve found a friend.”

 

“I like that you’ve found a friend.”

 

Kurt smiles then, and pulls me into a hug. “So do I.” 

 

Once again I stay late into the evening, and once again Kurt misjudges my journey time, texting impatiently as I’m walking back from the station to my apartment. 

 

_ You must be home now? _

 

_ Public transport! I’m glad I got to see you today. _

 

_ Same. I might’ve cut my fitting short just to make it home before you left, but whatever. _

 

_ That’s naughty. _

 

_ Yeah, but I’m the star ;) Stay for dinner on Wednesday? There’s still cheescake to be finished. _

 

I’m in the middle of composing a reply when I push open the door, to find Sam, Cooper and Santana all sitting on the couch, waiting. 

 

“Oh. Hi.”

 

“Sit,” Sam says, and I pocket my phone and perch on the arm of Cooper’s chair. 

 

“What is this?”

 

“Don’t even ask me,” Santana says. Her fierce Latina personality comes through and she flashes Sam a dark look. “He’s being petty and sulking because you have another friend. And Cooper was promised beer, that’s why he’s here.”

 

Cooper raises his beer and smiles. “Sam thinks you’re leaving him.”

 

“I do not! Blaine, Cooper agrees with me that you’re spending way too much time with the famous dude and his kids.”

 

“I didn’t say that, actually,” Cooper snaps. “I mean, honestly? I like that you’ve found a friend. You tell me he’s not using you, and you like being there...mom and dad were okay about it. I don’t see a problem.”

 

I wait. “But?”

 

“But you stayed there like, all weekend.”

 

“I stayed one night!”

 

“Is he paying you to be his nanny?” Santana asks. 

 

“No! Jeez. I’m his friend, that’s all. I just really like spending time with him and the kids. They’re all great. I wasn’t there under sufferance, I was there because I wanted to be.”

 

“Good enough for me.” Santana gets to her feet and kisses my cheek. “See you Saturday, baby. Bring your friend.” 

 

“He won’t have a sitter, but thanks.” 

 

“So you are still planning on doing the gig on Saturday, then?” Sam asks when she’s gone. 

 

“Yeah, why? You wanna take my spot?”

 

He shrugs. “I will if you’re not going to put any effort in.”

 

“Back off, Sam.” I rarely get angry but both Sam and my brother know I’m getting close, and Cooper lays a hand on my arm. 

 

“Easy buddy.”

 

“No, Coop. You don’t get it. Kurt is my friend, and he needs my help adjusting to life with three children. I like being there, I like being with him. He gets me, which is more than can be said for Sam right now. I can’t... Ugh. You know what? I’m going to bed.” 

 

From the sanctuary of my small room, I can hear their muffled voices, followed shortly after by the door closing as Cooper leaves. Sam doesn’t knock, or call out, and I’m glad. I can’t sleep, though, and after agonizing over what to do for a good few hours, I give in and call Kurt. 

 

“Were you asleep?”

 

“No. I’m in bed. I was just lying here thinking about you, actually. You didn’t text back.”

 

“Yeah, my roommate decided to try and stage some kind of intervention, I think.”

 

“Over what?”

 

“How much time I spend with you.”

 

“Oh wow. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, Blaine. I don’t want to cause issues for you.” 

 

“You don’t cause issues, that’s the point! You make me happier than I’ve ever been. These last few days have been incredible for me. I mean, the kids make me happy too...”

 

“Yeah, of course. I get what you mean.” 

 

“You get it, Kurt, but do you think that other people just...don’t?”

 

“Yes. I’m pretty sure Polly thinks something is going on between us, and Quinn outright asked if we were fucking. I told her no, but that she wasn’t to tell that to Marc.”

 

“Ha!”

 

“I was telling the costume assistant about you, too, and she said ‘Oh someone’s got it bad,’ like I can’t praise a male friend without it meaning I’m lusting after them.”

 

“That makes me mad.”

 

“Same. I don’t know, Blaine, I guess... I guess we get it, and we get each other, and that’s all that really matters.” 

 

Reassured, I close my eyes, smiling. “It is, yes.”

 

I teach Maggie again on Wednesday, and Kurt opens the door, excitedly telling me his dad is going to visit for the weekend. It’s cute to see him so happy, and our dinner that evening is easier, too, since the girls both like pot roast and green beans. Joshua still throws his about the room, though, until Maggie calmly asks why we give him the bowl.

 

“You should just hold it, and feed it to him from the spoon,” she points out. Turns out to be very good advice indeed. 

 

Somehow, Kurt senses my mood, and when I softly close Maggie’s door, he’s there, holding his arms out, waiting. I sink into his embrace, sagging against him, and there we stay, on the upstairs landing, with Kurt’s hands smoothing over my back and his voice, soft, in my ear. 

 

“It’s okay. I get it.”

 

“I hate things being weird with Sam.”

 

“Of course you do, that’s only natural.”

 

“But I don’t want to change how we are.”

 

“Neither do I.”

 

I pull back slightly, so that our foreheads are almost, but not quite, touching. His eyes seem to dance as they look into mine and I realize, in that moment, that I could kiss him. What’s more, I realize in that moment, that I want to, very much. 

 

It is Kurt who pulls back, seemingly oblivious to my momentary crisis, and that’s all it is; momentary. As soon as he pulls back everything is normal again, and I realize that I only had those thoughts because of how we were stood. 

 

“Kurt? I know this is a long shot, but I’m playing a gig on Saturday, and I wondered if you’d like to come? Your dad too, if you can book a sitter somehow?”

 

“Blaine... I don’t know. I mean, I want to. I’d love to hear you play, but I just don’t think it’d be very sensible, that’s all. I don’t want pictures to end up online of me in some bar.”

 

“Sure. I didn’t even think of that. Of course.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“No, it’s fine.”

 

It’s not fine, of course. I’m hurt, and I had really hoped Kurt would be able to make it. I’m not really sure that I understand his paranoia. Is it really likely he will end up in the press because he attends one gig at a tiny bar in Hell’s Kitchen? Since that weird blog post about him being in the park, I’ve seen nothing about him online or in print, other than updates on production of his new TV show. 

 

I swallow my upset; the last thing Kurt needs is me acting like a baby, and when I turn up for Maggie’s lesson on Friday, I meet Burt Hummel. 

 

Burt is tall, and loud, and it seems as though Alice and Joshua have fallen completely in love with him already. Maggie is a bit more hesitant, but she still trails him everywhere, it’s just that she keeps her distance. Burt crushes me in a hug. He is a commanding presence, and I warm to him immediately. 

 

“I like your sweater thing there, kid,” he tells me. “And the bow tie. Neat. Kurt? Why don’t you dress like Blaine?”

 

“Because only one of us can carry off preppy, and it’s not me.” 

 

“You could totally rock a bow tie,” I tell him with a smile. 

 

“Yeah, no.” He stops making coffee and straightens my bow tie instead. “I could never look as cute as you. You do look good today, by the way. I mean, you always do, but...” He looks me up and down and for a fleeting second, bites his lip. “Yeah.” 

 

I’m happy with the compliment. I had purposely dressed a little smarter today because I wanted to impress Mr. Hummel, but I’m glad it’s paid off with Kurt, as well. I busy myself with Maggie’s lesson, but when we finish with Puff the Magic Dragon, Burt slams his way into the conservatory with Alice and orders me to start over. 

 

“I love this one!”

 

“That’s... interesting,” I say. “Right.” 

 

We sing again, and Kurt videos us, and then Maggie makes Kurt join in too. It’s fun, completely silly, and it’s made all the better when Kurt drapes his arms over my shoulders and rests his chin on top of my head. “Play something just for me.” 

 

“Ooh. Let me see...” I pause a moment, then strike up with Cruella DeVil, which makes everyone laugh, and Kurt hit me. “Okay. Here... Sing with me.” 

 

A Whole New World has always been one of my favorites, but to suddenly have Kurt singing with me, so happy, relaxed, and carefree, takes the song to another level. Even Alice is quiet and still, watching us with a rapt expression on her face. The song finishes and I look up at him, resting one of my hands over his. “You sing beautifully.” 

 

Kurt smiles, leans down, and brushes our noses together. “So do you. I wish I could be there tomorrow.”

 

“Another time, maybe?”

 

“Maybe. Or maybe you could give me a private gig some time?”

 

“I’d like that.” 

 

“So, uh...Maggie?” Burt booms. “Did you tell Blaine that I took ya to ballet today?”

 

The moment disappears, and that night, I leave early so that Kurt can have some time with his dad, and so that I might get some practice in before my gig. I have shifts at Home Depot all weekend, and it annoys me that I won’t now see Kurt or the kids until sometime next week, but life gets in the way, I guess, and at least I get the chance to play a gig, something I haven’t done for a few months. 

 

I’m midway through my shift when a familiar “Bane!” is heard, and I look up from the shelf I’m restocking to see Alice tearing towards me, dragging her sister. Burt Hummel follows, holding Joshua in his arms. 

 

“Hey sunshine.” 

 

“Uh... Hi.” Mortified doesn’t even begin to cover it. I hate seeing anyone I know when I’m on shift, much less the father of my exceptionally rich and famous friend. I don’t want the kids to see me like this, either, in my bright orange apron and old, worn jeans. 

 

“You get a break sometime?”

 

“I’m due a half hour... I could ask?”

 

“I’d appreciate it.” 

 

My mortification turns into terror. What could Burt Hummel want that necessitates me taking my lunch break early? We walk outside to the parking lot, and cross the road to a small playground. “My boy’s been through a lot,” he states as we watch the girls running about. “Dunno if he’s told you.”

 

“We talked.” 

 

“Mmhmm. Thought you might. You’re a good friend to him, you know.”

 

“Thank you. He is to me.”

 

“He mentioned that you’re playing piano tonight?”

 

“Yes. I uh... I’m trying to make it, really, as a musician, you know? Home Depot isn't where I want to be the rest of my life.”

 

“You work hard to earn a living, I admire that.” He watches Alice a moment longer. “I think Kurt should go tonight. I think that he doesn’t get out much, other than to fancy events and such, which are all work related, and I suspect the last time he went to a bar with some friends was back in college. I’ll be the sitter.” 

 

“Oh. I mean, I’d love that, but...”

 

“Kurt? He gets paranoid, you see. But I know that kid better than I know myself, and I know how badly he wants to see you play.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I know a hell of a lot of things that you and he don’t.” 

 

“Such as?”

 

“Ah, you’ll know it someday, sunshine. It’ll suddenly become clear. Look, I’ll make sure he’s ready, but you’ll need to come collect him, otherwise he won’t make it out the door. Just... keep him safe, okay?”

 

“Of course.” I’m unable to keep my face from breaking out in a massive grin. “That’s all I ever want to do.” 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Kurt**

 

I check my hair in the mirror for the tenth time, and yes, I am counting, tug on my jacket, and let out a nervous breath. I can hear my dad laughing at some inane comedy in the living room, and all is quiet from upstairs. I look out of the window in the hallway, which coincides with Blaine appearing across the street, looking equally as terrified as I do, and I pull open the door just as he ascends the stairs. 

 

“Hey, I was just...” He stops, and stares, and I wonder if I’ve gone too far. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a bar, and I’m not sure what the dress etiquette is. In the end, I’ve opted for all grays and blacks, in the hope that I won’t make myself too conspicuous. Tight gray jeans, black boots, black shirt, and a gray vest. I think I went too muted, though, because Blaine has black jeans, but also, a bright red polo, and he seems vibrant and alive, whereas I look washed out. 

 

“Um, Kurt? You look beautiful.”

 

Does my heart soar because it's Blaine saying those words, or because someone is reassuring me? It’s hard to tell, but I do know that he looks good too, and when I tell him, he blushes. 

 

“Be safe, boys!” my dad booms from the living room, so I push Blaine out into the night and quickly close the door. 

 

“Could you drive?” I ask. “I think my hands are shaking too much to operate the steering wheel.”

 

“Sure.” 

 

The first part of our journey is in silence, and I hate it. We’re not like this, Blaine and I. Any silence we do share is warm and welcoming; comfortable. This is awkward, and we both know it. I just don't know how to break it. 

 

In the end, it is Blaine that remedies the situation, by reaching for my hand, lacing our fingers together, and smiling. “It’s okay, I promise you. I had Cooper check the place out, and he’s going to keep a lookout all evening.” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“For press.”

 

“Oh.  _ Oh _ ,” I say again as it hits me. “Yeah, that’s not why I’m nervous.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m meeting your brother and your closest friends. I’m terrified.”

 

“Kurt, seriously? That’s what you’re worked up about?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Not that you might end up splashed over the tabloids with speculation over your love life?”

 

“No. I was, but then I kinda thought... There are worse things they could say. If I’m spotted, and it’s a big if, and they wanna read into something that’s not there, then let them.”

 

“Well, yeah, I agree, but even so, you don’t need to worry about my friends, honestly. Or my brother. You’ve met him before; he’s a lunatic.”

 

“He is quite nuts, yeah, but I only spoke with him briefly. This will be me, sitting with them, watching you play. What if they hate me?”

 

“Then I’ll disown them.” 

 

“You will not.”

 

“Kurt...” Blaine sighs in frustration and then squeezes my hand. The traffic is heavy and he can’t take his eyes off the road, and I get the feeling he’d rather we were face to face. “I meant what I said; you’re beautiful. Inside and out. And that might not be something one guy should say to another, but I don’t think I care. I think you need to know it, actually. You need to see what I see, because then you’d realize that you have nothing to worry about. Just be you, because that’s good enough for me.”

 

“You won’t make me get up on stage with you, will you?”

 

“No. I’d like to, but I know that would be asking for trouble. You know that private gig, though? The one for just us?”

 

“I do.”

 

“You have to sing with me then, it’s the rule.” 

 

“Deal.” 

 

I feel a little lighter when we arrive at the bar, and Cooper is, as Blaine reminded me, a lunatic. He buys me beer without asking, and though I’d prefer something else, I accept politely and follow him to a table while Blaine talks to the owner. 

 

“Guys, this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Sam, his girlfriend of the moment, Santana, and Dani, her girlfriend.” 

 

I might be a gay man, but I can instantly see why Blaine dated Santana; she’s stunning, and they would have made a striking couple in High School, no doubt. I find myself hit with a pang of... something, which seems to be happening a lot with Blaine. Weird moments are creeping in, when neither of us seem to know what to say, or do, or think, and I wonder if we rushed into a friendship too fast. The strange moment we shared outside of Maggie’s room comes back to me; when I’d thought, for a second, that Blaine was going to kiss me, and I knew I wouldn’t stop it.

 

“Hey.” His hands come, firm on my shoulders, as he stands behind me, making me jump. “So I’m gonna go set up. Cooper, be sensible, Santana, be nice, Dani, keep her under control and Sam... just be Sam. Hello, girl I don’t know.” 

 

The girl, a petite blond, looks affronted, but she quickly returns to her phone, and then I realize she’s surreptitiously trying to take my picture. 

 

“Uh... could you not?” I am forced to ask, sounding like the most pretentious asshole. “I just want a night out watching my friend play piano. No pictures, please.”

 

“Ah dude, but you’re super famous,” Sam protests, but then he looks above me, and whatever he sees written on Blaine’s face makes him stop right away, and he whispers to the girl, who puts her phone in her purse. “Sorry,” he says, glancing between Blaine and I. “Won’t happen again.” 

 

I’d like to squeeze Blaine’s hand, at least, or give him a hug for good luck like Cooper does, but there’s no way I can risk it, so I settle instead for talking to Santana and Dani, while Blaine disappears, and then emerges on stage ten minutes later, looking divine. 

 

He plays covers; from pop, to jazz, to musical theater numbers, and he’s perfect. In fact, I find it hard to understand why he hasn’t gotten a record deal already, and I say as much to his brother, who is quick to agree. “We all thought it would happen, but it just hasn’t. Mom and Dad keep telling him not to quit, but he’s close. Especially now, with teaching Maggie? He’s starting to wonder if he could move into teaching instead.” 

 

“He can’t do that!” I don’t know if the feeling of dread comes from the thought of Blaine not performing any more, or the thought of him not exclusively teaching Maggie. 

 

“Right? Tell him not to give up. He’ll listen to you.”

 

I wait until the next song is finished, and then I lean closer to Cooper and lower my voice. “I know Sam isn’t entirely happy with mine and Blaine’s friendship.”

 

“I think it’s the speed of it, you know? People automatically wonder if there’s something more to it.”

 

“Blaine is straight.”

 

Cooper frowns. “Not that. Although, you’ve just given me a clue as to how the land lies with you, I guess. Nah, dude. It’s more... To some people on the outside, it seems as though Blaine is just a glorified nanny.”

 

“What? That’s insane. I would never... I have nannies.”

 

“I know, he told me. Don’t worry, I’m on your side. I’m just saying how others see it, that’s all. Me personally? I’m just glad Blaine’s found the key to his happiness, that’s all.” 

 

The intermission seems to take forever to arrive, and then people- mainly women- are waiting to speak with Blaine as he hops down off the low stage. When he finally breaks free, he comes over, beaming. “Well?”

 

It is me he asks, and I smile. “You’re great.”

 

“Okay. Excuse us a second.” Taking my hand, he pulls me to my feet and drags me into the small corridor that leads backstage. It is cramped, and sticky, and smelly, but Blaine pins me against the wall regardless. “What’s up?”

 

“You’re not just a glorified nanny to me.” 

 

“Ugh! Cooper! I’ll...”

 

“No, please. I’m glad he told me. I don’t want you to think...”

 

“I don’t!”

 

“Good, because your brother said...”

 

“Go on. What other pearls of wisdom did he have to share?”

 

“He said you’ve found the key to your happiness.”

 

Blaine blushes, but he holds me in a steady gaze. “Yeah. I think I have.”

 

“I just need you to know, Blaine, that although I’m grateful for all you do with the kids, that’s not why I keep you around. You mean so much more to me than that.” 

 

Blaine nods, and then hugs me hard. I get the feeling he’s unable to speak right now, but that’s fine. I’ll always welcome his affection. 

 

“You really are fantastic out there,” I murmur against his neck. “And I think your friends are great. Your brother is my favorite. Is that allowed?”

 

“Yes. He’s my favorite too. You don’t count in that.”

 

“Oh?” I pull back to look at him. “And why not?”

 

“Because you’re in a league of your own, what with your hugs, and your inappropriate humor, and your three charges, who are oh so cute and utterly divine.”

 

“Hmm they are.” I’m about to add more, but he’s summoned back to the stage by a heavily tattooed guy, whose eyebrows nearly reach his hairline when he sees us standing there in the cramped space, our arms loosely around one another’s waists. 

 

“Shit, Kurt. I’m sorry,” Blaine whispers, but I’m surprisingly relaxed about the whole thing. 

 

“Don’t worry about it. Go on, go play some more. It’s so wonderful to listen to you.”

 

He looks towards the stage and bites his lip. “Play one for me,” I tell him, and before I can overthink anything, I kiss his cheek then hurry back to the table. 

 

“What the hell was all that about?” Sam asks, but someone must kick him, because he shuts up once again. 

 

Blaine’s second half is more varied, with his own songs mixed in with old classics from the fifties and sixties. The crown appreciate the unusual mix, and are loud in their applause, and it’s impossible not to be infected with their enthusiasm. When Blaine announces his last number, I get to my feet along with the rest of the audience, and I think he sees me and smiles. 

 

Of course there’s calls for an encore, and Cooper informs me he’ll now play either New York, New York, or My Way. “He always does. Just wait.” 

 

But he doesn’t. 

 

Waiting until the crowd dies down, Blaine eventually leans in to the mic, and looks right at our table. “This is for Kurt.” He strikes up a chord, and then begins to sing with a cheeky smile. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray...”

 

“Nice,” Cooper says with a laugh. “And with his own brother sitting right here, too.”

 

“Ah, you’re his favorite, he told me. You’re mine too, for that matter.” 

 

“Yeah?” Cooper straightens in his chair and slings an arm about my shoulders. “You’re mine too, Kurt. I mean it!”

 

“More beer?”

 

“I think so.” 

 

Blaine arrives while Cooper is at the bar, and promptly steals his seat. “You look very smug,” I remark, and he beams; full of adrenaline and buzzing as only one can be after being on stage. I miss that feeling intensely. 

 

“Did you like your dedication?”

 

“Loved it.” Fueled by beer, which always makes me a little sloppy and carefree, I lean in and kiss his cheek in front of everyone. “Thank you.”

 

Cooper returns and suddenly the evening really gets going. A lot of beer goes down, and Blaine quickly catches up to me. Sam’s girlfriend goes home, possibly in a sulk, but everything is too hazy for me to really notice, and the rest of us are having too good of a time, anyway. 

 

Eventually we leave the bar and head to a diner, where Blaine and I share pancakes. Even in my drunken state, I know it’s one of the happiest moments I’ll ever have, because Blaine is so smiley, so full of life, so damn pleased and proud to be with me, that it makes my heart soar. Cooper and Sam crack jokes continuously at his expense, but he shrugs it all off with a smile, and then Santana and Dani come to his defense; Santana can deliver a cutting remark almost as well as I can, it seems. When Blaine goes to the bathroom, weaving unsteadily, she reaches across the table, and squeezes my hand. 

 

“He loves you.”

 

“Hmm, yeah, I think he’s great too.”

 

“No, I mean...”

 

“I think it’s so cool you could hang out with us tonight,” Dani says brightly. “Blaine keeps saying how great you are; it’s nice to have that confirmed.”

 

“Ha! Thanks.”

 

“Home time?” Blaine returns to the table and grabs his jacket, throwing some cash down. 

 

“Yeah, but let me...”

 

“Don’t you dare.”

 

There’s confusion when we step outside; Dani and Santana head off to a nearby jazz club, and Cooper hails two cabs, reminding me repeatedly that I must remember to collect the car tomorrow. He holds the door open to the first cab, and I get inside, and it’s then that I see Blaine, standing on the sidewalk, looking torn. 

 

“It’s okay, I can get home from here.”

 

“I promised your dad I’d keep you safe.”

 

“And you have. I’m in a cab, I have money. You can go home with Sam, honestly.”

 

Leaning into the cab, Blaine lowers his voice. “Do you want me to?”

 

“No,” I admit. “I want you to come home with me.”

 

“I’m going home with Kurt!” he yells, shuts the door, and then we’re off, leaving Cooper and Sam to stare after us. 

 

We’re still laughing like little kids when we get home, and stumbling into the quiet house, I press a finger to my lips, trying to stop my sniggering. “Shh!”

 

Blaine collides with me, which makes everything funnier, and we make our way to the kitchen for water. Things seem a little clearer then, and I like the stillness of the night; being here, in this moment with Blaine, side by side against the counter, desperately trying to ward off the impending hangover. 

 

“You’re home now,” he whispers. “I should go.”

 

“Not yet. Come sit with me.” 

 

“It’s late, Kurt. I have work tomorrow, you have small people to take care of...” But even as he’s saying all this, he’s following me to the living room, kicking off his shoes, removing his jacket, and settling down on the couch. 

 

We sit as we always do, at opposite ends with our feet joining in the middle, only this time, we’re staring at one another in the dim street light coming through the window. 

 

Blaine smiles. He looks beautiful. So beautiful that my heart hurts, and then, when he holds his arms out and says “C’mere,” I need no further invitation. 

 

We wriggle, and shift about, and eventually settle, with me on my back and Blaine wrapped around me, his head resting onto my chest. 

 

“Is this weird?” I ask, staring up at the ceiling. 

 

“For us? No. For a moment between two friends? Definitely. Very weird.”

 

“I like it.”

 

“I like it too. We’re weird, though.”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

I fall asleep to the sound of Blaine’s steady breathing, gradually getting deeper, and the weight of his body, solid, warm, and comforting, keeping me safe, just as he promised. 

 

We wake in the early light of dawn, or rather, Blaine wakes and then wakes me. “I gotta go.”

 

“Hmm, no, don’t go. Come to bed. I mean... You know....”

 

“I would, but I can’t. I feel gross, and I don’t want the kids to see me like this and wonder what’s going on.” He kisses my forehead softly, and then seems alarmed by his actions. “Sorry.”

 

I merely nod. Another weird moment. 

 

“I’ll collect the car after my shift.”

 

“Only if you stay for dinner tonight.” 

 

He grins. “I’d like that.” 

 

I would guess my dad has been lurking, because only a minute passes between Blaine sneaking out and him appearing, and I instantly know that he’s seen us in the night, curled up like lovers on the couch. 

 

“I can explain.”

 

“Nothing to explain, kiddo,” he says. He hands me a mug of coffee and settles in the armchair. “What you do in your own time is your business, but God, Kurt... be careful.”

 

“Be careful of what? Blaine wouldn’t hurt me.”

 

“Not intentionally, no. He’s softer than Bambi. Just be careful with all that you feel for him. Remember it’s highly unlikely that it’ll ever be reciprocated.”

 

“You’re wrong there. Anything I feel for Blaine is only out of friendship, I can assure you. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I can’t have male friends.”

 

“I know that, I’m not an idiot. I just...”

 

“Dad, Blaine is wonderful, okay? Completely wonderful, and I really appreciate having him in my life. If our friendship looks weird to the outside, then that says more about the rest of the world than it does about us.”

 

“I agree. He is wonderful, and I’m thankful he’s around for you. I just... You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m outta line. Tell me about your evening.” 

 

Possibly to prove a point to my dad, and possibly to reassure myself, I text Blaine and tell him to bring Cooper to dinner too. The kids are overjoyed to see Blaine, and throw themselves at him. It warms me, to see him showering them with kisses, and then, when Joshua kisses him back, I have to step out into the kitchen for a moment, before I cry. 

 

“You okay?” He finds me, as I knew he would, and takes me into his arms without question. 

 

“Yes.” I sigh, and wrap my arms about his neck. “Just kinda lost it a bit there, when Joshy kissed you.”

 

“Ohhh, Kurt. His name is Joshua, remember?”

 

“Damn!” 

 

Blaine laughs, and squeezes me. “I won’t tell.” 

 

“How was your day?”

 

“Not too bad. I felt a little rough; didn’t eat until lunchtime. You?”

 

“It was fun. Dad and I took the kids to a fair in Battery Park. Maggie wants the training wheels off her bike already.”

 

“Do you think she’s ready?”

 

“I don’t know. I was thinking we could try her sometime. I also need to think about getting her into a school. Will you help me?”

 

“Of course. I have a couple of days free this week?”

 

“This week is crazy for me.” I sigh as I think of how many meetings, appointments and fittings I have coming up. “Blaine?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I need to ask you something.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Are you okay with us being weird?”

 

He laughs, and hops up onto the counter. “Yes, Kurt. My masculinity is not threatened in any way, I can assure you.” 

 

“We’re friends, right?”

 

“I’d hope so.”

 

“Okay. Good. It’s just that last night, on the couch... I think that maybe that crossed a boundary.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“In that, maybe, it’s not appropriate for us to be sleeping like that?”

 

“I think that if either of us were in a relationship, then possibly not. I can’t imagine a partner would be very understanding, but... I don’t know. I uh...” He stops and for a moment, and seems embarrassed. Looking down at the floor, he collects himself and then looks me right in the eye. “When I hold you, it feels really....”

 

“Right?”

 

“Yeah.” He smiles, full of relief that I get it. “I don’t know what that says about me, or you, or...anything, really, but I do know that I don’t regret any of it, and neither do I want to stop doing it, just because other people might think it a little strange.”

 

Stepping between his legs, I wrap my arms around his waist and press myself against his chest. “Thank you.” 

 

Blaine holds me again and kisses into my hair. “Let me know if I can help you out this week. I don’t have any shifts Thursday or Friday.”

 

“Stay, then. Not because I might need some help, just because it’d be nice to have you here.” 

 

“Okay.”

 

“Do you two routinely conduct conversations wrapped in each other’s arms?” Cooper lounges in the doorway, watching, and I turn around to face him, but stay standing between Blaine’s legs, with his hands on my shoulders. 

 

“Yes,” we say in unison. 

 

“Cool. When’s dinner, Kurt? I’m starving. Oh, and also, did you know Alice wants to be a ninja? I said I’m gonna teach her some moves.” 

 

“Please don’t encourage her,” Blaine says, rolling his eyes. “I knew you’d be a bad influence on them.” 

 

“They love me!”

 

“That’s what I was afraid of.” 

 

Dinner is fun. Having Cooper and my dad present alters the dynamic but only in the sense that it makes us all feel like a family unit, and I think the children all benefit enormously from that. There are tears when Blaine and Cooper go home, but they’re somewhat placated when I point out that Blaine will be back tomorrow for Maggie’s lesson. 

 

It’s only later that night, when I’m in bed, that I think back over everything. I’d say I’m friends with Cooper, too, but I feel no desire to hug him, hold him, keep him close, like I do with Blaine. Cooper is undeniably handsome, but I wouldn’t tell him, necessarily, and if I were to step out in public with him, I don’t think anyone would assume we’re dating. 

 

I know how it is with Blaine. He knows too, and yet neither of us feel inclined to do anything about it. I bring him to mind; his deep, golden colored eyes; his soft, sweet smile; his dark hair that curls wildly whenever he tries to tame it; his preppy style, the bright colors, the bow ties, the cardigans... and out of everything, the one thing I cannot stop thinking about, is the touch of his lips on my forehead this morning, the scratch of his stubble against my cheek when he held me. 

 

I take those thoughts, and lock them away, down deep. I resolve to find myself a date of some sort as soon as I’m on set, in an effort to put my sexual frustrations to good use. I know that’s all it is with Blaine; affection from him has reminded me of what’s lacking in my life and so, with all of that now perfectly clear in my head, I move on. 

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Blaine**

 

Over the next few weeks, Kurt and I gradually settle into a routine that suits both of us and yet seems to disturb others. I continue to teach Maggie the piano three times a week, and when I do, I always stay for dinner. On a Friday, I stay over, whether I’m working the next day or not. I usually go home on a Sunday evening. The children enjoy the stability, and Polly manages to reduce her time spent with them to four days a week. The rest of the time they are with Kurt, or me, or both. 

 

We find a cute little private Kindergarten for Maggie to attend, and a Montessori pre-school for Alice to go to twice a week; she needs somewhere that challenges and stimulates her. That is the first big change for the children since they’ve been in Kurt’s care, but it is testament to his parenting that they handle it well, and quickly get used to the new routine. 

 

When they’re not in school, we take them to the park, where we take great delight in teaching Maggie to ride her bike without training wheels, and then, gradually, we start to venture further afield; taking them to museums, water parks, fairs, and to explore the rest of the city. 

 

Most of the time, they are adorable, but as with all kids, sometimes they are a pain in the ass. There are nights that Kurt and I talk for hours about how wonderfully bright, intelligent, and strong they are, and then other nights when we find our way to the bottom of a wine bottle while bemoaning the fact that they’ve been hard work all day long. 

 

Burt visits again, and Cooper starts calling in often on weekends. It suits all of us, and the kids love having more people in their lives who adore them. Quinn becomes warmer, both to me and them, since Kurt is often absent when I give Maggie her lessons, so Quinn ends up attempting to work with Joshua balanced on her lap. It’s only Marc who remains cold, though since Kurt is having to travel to various appointments, interviews, pre-publicity photo shoots and everything else, he is often out, accompanying him. 

 

The week that Kurt begins shooting, I stay over on the Sunday night, so that I can wake early and cook breakfast for him. I also wash and dress the children, so that when he does emerge from his room, we are all ready and waiting. 

 

“What’s all this?” He surveys the table full of food, and then Maggie thrusts a homemade card under his nose. 

 

“Good luck with shooting people!”

 

He laughs. “Aw honey, that’s not quite what I’ll be doing, but thank you. What a beautiful card!” He leans down and kisses her, then Alice appears with flowers, not able to wait for her cue.

 

“Is it now, Bane? Now I come?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” I swoop her up and she hands the flowers to Kurt. “Just to say good luck from all of us,” I tell him. “Location shooting today, right?”

 

“Yeah. Which means fans. Ugh. Thank god for trailers.” 

 

“Hey, those fans pay your wages.”

 

“That is very true, and I am grateful, really. Ninety per cent of them are lovely. But some... wow. They think you’re a piece of meat.”

 

“Well, since it’s your first day, we thought we could drive you, if you like? Then I can take Maggie to school on the way back.”

 

“That’s so sweet!” He sits at the table, squeezing my hand as he does so. “But they’re sending a car.”

 

“Oh. Oh, well, that’s okay. I’ll still take Maggie to school for you, and then Polly can take over the other two. I don’t have work until ten.” 

 

He glances up at me. “No, you know what? I’ll cancel the car, it’s fine.”

 

“Really, Kurt, don’t worry.” 

 

He gets out of his chair and catches me before I can walk away. Wrapping his arms about me, he keeps me in place until I give in and meet his eye. “I’m canceling that car,” he tells me, before kissing my cheek. “I like an excuse to spend more time with you.” 

 

I’ve never driven onto a TV set before; I’ve never even seen a set despite having lived in New York all my life. There’s so much security in place for filming out on the streets of Manhattan that it’s a nightmare to get through. We are stopped every few feet by someone who needs to see ID- even from Kurt himself, and then there’s the fans. 

 

While out and about with Kurt on a day to day basis, things are okay. People recognize him, and whisper, but it’s easy enough to ignore it. When he’s on his own, such as in line for coffee, or walking a little ahead of us, he is stopped for pictures and again, that’s not too bad. Kurt is brisk but polite, the selfie is taken and he moves on. 

 

But today is a whole other story. Today, fans of Kurt, fans of other cast members, and fans of the comic book the show is based on, are all out in force. Though they are behind a barrier, the second word passes that Kurt is in the car, they break free, charging across and banging on the car windows. 

 

Maggie screams, Joshua looks startled before bursting into tears, and Alice stars to yell, her hands over her ears. 

 

“Make it stop! Make it stop!”

 

“Blaine, just drop me here.”

 

“In the middle of a baying mob? I don’t think so, Kurt. It’s okay, kids. Nearly there.” 

 

But it’s not okay; it’s frightening even for me, and when fans begin to swarm in front of the car, we have to stop and wait for security to restore calm. Eventually, we make it to his trailer. 

 

“Right,” he says with a sigh. “That’s it.” 

 

Emerging from the car, Kurt strides over to the group of fans, now back behind the barrier. “Hey guys!” he calls, with a wave. “Just to say, can you not bang on the car please? My kids are in there, and I don’t want them upset. Thanks! Hope you enjoy the day.” 

 

He’s back in an instant, looking pale and terrified by what he’s just said. “Shit, shit, shit!”

 

“It’s okay,” I tell him through the open window, but I’m aware that we’re being watched...or scrutinized, very closely. “Want me to come inside with you a moment?”

 

He nods, then bites his lip. “That means getting the kids out of the car.”

 

“It does,” I agree. “But they’ve got to be seen sometime, and you’ve kinda just announced their presence to the entire world so...”

 

“You get the baby,” he decides, then pulls open the back door. “Okay, girls. We’re going to go in that big trailer there, which is fun. You might hear lots of shouting....”

 

“More banging?”

 

“No, Maggie, no more banging, I promise. You hold my hand, okay? And I’ll carry Alice.” 

 

The transition is swift; I’m parked as close to the steps as I can get, and Kurt pulls the girls from the other side of the car so they’re barely seen. I cradle Joshua close to my chest and hurry around, relieved when the trailer door closes behind us and we all fall into a hug, with Maggie squashed between our legs. 

 

“It’s okay,” I tell Kurt, more than anyone. “Don’t worry.”

 

“Kurt? Can I eat the candy? All of it?” Alice’s eyes are drawn to the massive basket stuffed full of every kind of candy imaginable, and we both laugh. 

 

“Not all of it,” Kurt says, setting her on her feet. “But you can grab a couple of pieces, since you’ve both been so good.” 

 

That’s all it takes for them to forget their ordeal in the car; they take their time laying all the candy out on the table, completely ignoring the edible fruit arrangements and the piles of healthy snacks. I set Joshua down too, and he is happy to crawl about, pulling himself up to standing anyplace he can. 

 

I’m still shaken, and shocked at the level of hysteria Kurt’s brief appearance had caused, but Kurt himself is completely white, and he sits on the long couch, raking his hands through his hair. “I shouldn’t have done that.” 

 

I crouch down in front of him. “Um....which part, exactly?”  

 

That makes him laugh in spite of himself, and he nudges my shoulder, knocking me off balance. “All of it, probably. But especially saying I had kids. I mean... I don’t technically even ‘have’ them, do I? They’re not mine.”

 

“No, but they will be, won’t they? Won’t you try to adopt them?”

 

“I hadn’t even thought about it, really. The thought of them being taken away from me makes me feel physically sick, but... My life never feels very stable, and I don’t know if it’s fair on them. I mean, look at what happened out there.”

 

“I get that, but I’d have thought it was far more unfair to make them start over someplace else. Just my opinion. You can give them a really fantastic life, Kurt.”

 

“As a single parent who works all the time?”

 

I shrug. “Plenty of people do. Anyway, I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

“Good. Ugh, Blaine, I never like revealing anything about my personal life, and now news that I have kids will be across the other side of the world already.”

 

“So? You don’t have to put your life on display, Kurt. You don’t have to put  _ their l _ ives on display, either. The public want to feel like they know you, but you only have to let them see the side you want them to see.”

 

“What do I want them to see, though?”

 

“I dunno. Ask Quinn.” 

 

He laughs again, and leans forward, resting his head onto my shoulder. “You’re so incredible, you know that?”

 

“Hmm, yeah.” I hold him tight. “I learned it from you.”

 

“You always cuddle,” Maggie exclaims through a mouthful of Swedish Fish. 

 

“Because Blaine gives the best cuddles,” Kurt explains, then makes room for her to climb between us. 

 

He is reluctant for us to go, but Maggie has school and I have work, so with promises to see him later, we eventually part. There’s a flurry of activity when I open the trailer door, but when the assembled fans realize it's just me, the interest quickly wanes and we leave the set easily. 

 

As predicted, there is a lot of speculation in the coming days, about how Kurt has suddenly acquired three children. Has he adopted from abroad? Used a surrogate and been keeping them hidden all these years? Is he in a secret relationship? 

 

My picture ends up online, though it’s blurry and taken from a distance. I’m holding Joshua close; thankfully the children’s faces aren’t visible in any of the shots, and I’m only referred to once, as ‘an assistant,’ which I find hilarious. 

 

The whole episode rocks Kurt, though, who flatly refuses to be seen outside of the house unless it’s on set. He spends a long time locked away with Quinn and Marc, coming up with some kind of strategy, which for the moment merely seems to involve saying nothing. 

 

His hours of filming are long, and though he stipulated in his contract that he wanted most weekends free, he doesn’t arrive home until gone eleven on Friday night, and he’s so worn down that he takes a bath and heads right to bed. I find myself feeling a bit bereft, and things only get worse the next day when Marc arrives at eight, and asks to speak to me in his office. 

 

“We need to discuss Kurt’s privacy,” he declares, closing the door on Maggie and Alice. 

 

“Oh. Well, Kurt’s still sleeping, so...”

 

“I know that. You and I need to discuss his privacy, and the terms of your contract.”

 

“I uh...”

 

“We’ve all noticed you lingering,” he carries on. “And while I can’t say I’m entirely happy about it, I have to respect that Kurt sees something in you that perhaps I cannot. That said, he’s become a lot more lax with his personal safety since you’ve been on the scene, and the result is that now he’s getting hounded by the press to explain more about his private life, which he’s never wanted to do.”

 

“Um...That’s not my doing,” I point out. “Kurt had, perhaps, a momentary lapse of judgement, but he acted out of concern for the children. That’s understandable.” 

 

“That’s a stupid thing to do and he knows it,” Marc snaps. “Which is why he’s been so morose all week. It’s not just that, though. You’ve got him out and about; the park, the mall, museums, concerts, bars...”

 

“You make it sound like I force him.”

 

“Well... Everyone wants to be spotted with a celebrity, don’t they?”

 

“No I do not! I didn’t even know he was one until my brother told me. Marc... do you have a point here, or are you just using this as an opportunity to try and get rid of me?”

 

“There’s a point.” He slaps a document on the desk and holds out a pen. “An updated confidentiality agreement. Sign.” 

 

“I’m not signing anything without reading it first.”

 

“Nothing much has changed. Just that whenever you enter the house you’ll be required to place your phone in a locker, and retrieve it when you leave. You’ll also sign to say you won’t take any pictures or video recording of the children without prior written permission from Kurt, on any device, even his own, and you won’t discuss your being here, or teaching piano, to anyone, at any point in time.” 

 

“The first rule of fight club?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I’m in my pajamas,” I point out. “In the house where I stay, every weekend, and have done for over month. I take Maggie to school, I feed them, bath them, educate them, comfort them, love them, and you’re telling me I have to store my phone in a locker?”

 

“Get out, Marc.”

 

Kurt’s voice shocks me. He stands in the doorway with Joshua in his arms, looking more angry and upset than I have ever seen him. “You will not come into my home and tell my.... And tell Blaine how to behave. This is as much his house as it is mine, and the children love both of us equally. You will not treat him like an employee.”

 

“He is one, though.” 

 

“HE IS NOT! He’s everything, to all of us, and if you have an issue with that, then please, feel free to find someone else to work for. Now please, go, and leave us to have our weekend as a family.” 

 

There’s nothing I can add, so in the deafening silence that follows, Marc picks up the contract, and his bag, and walks out. Kurt and I stay stock still until the front door shuts; even Joshua doesn’t move. 

 

“Right,” Kurt says, finally. “Breakfast.” 

 

I couldn’t eat anything if I tried, and feigning joyful happiness for the sake of the girls is excruciating. As soon as I am able, I take myself back upstairs to shower, spending a long time under the spray trying to hold back tears. 

 

When I emerge, Kurt is waiting on my bed. 

 

“Oh crap! I didn’t...” 

 

“Sorry.” He quickly averts his eyes away from my naked torso, and the towel around my waist. “I didn’t think it through, did I? I just came to see if you were okay.”

 

“Not really, no. Can I just put some underwear on?”

 

“Of course.” 

 

I’m back in a second, although I am only wearing a small pair of boxer briefs, and I sit opposite him on the bed, my hands placed in my lap.

 

“Your chest.”

 

I look down. “Is it bad?”

 

“It’s incredibly distracting.” Kurt blushes, and hands my the t-shirt I discarded before the shower. 

 

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” 

 

“You certainly didn’t do that.” Looking at me again, his gaze seems to linger everywhere, and I experience an intense thrill. Maybe we both do, because he leaps to his feet and starts walking about the room, instead. “Blaine, I’m sorry about Marc. We did discuss tighter privacy, but it was for moments when unknown people come to the house, like tradespeople, or if we get a new nanny. It doesn’t apply to Polly, or Cooper, or Quinn, and certainly not to you.” 

 

I nod, because if I try to speak, I’ll cry. 

 

Kurt looks over at me, instantly recognizing my upset. He crosses the room in a flash, ignoring the weird moment that took place seconds earlier. Climbing into my lap, he straddles me, and rests our foreheads together. 

 

Definitely crossing a whole multitude of boundaries, and I find that I welcome it, my hands instantly coming to rest on his hips. 

 

“I meant what I said,” he tells me, his voice low. “You’re everything, to all of us. Especially me.” 

 

We stare into each other’s eyes; there’s seemingly so much to be said but suddenly none of it matters, because I think that our friendship is about to change, very quickly, into something else. 

 

Then the crash is heard. 

 

“What the...?” Kurt runs out into the hallway, and we follow the sound of Alice and Maggie’s hysterical screaming into Alice’s room, where she lies on the floor, clutching the giant tub of diaper cream that Kurt had placed out of reach on top of her closet. 

 

“She climbed, Kurt!” Maggie cries desperately as he scoops her up. “She climbed onto the bookcase and then onto the closet and I telled her she would fall.” 

 

“Oh shh, shh, baby, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Kurt rocks Alice back and forth, while I soothe Maggie; everything forgotten in favor of caring for those we love the most. 

 

“Where’s Joshy?” I ask, but just then he appears, happy as can be and completely oblivious to what’s been going on. 

 

“Bae?”

 

His babbling is ignored, in favor of checking Alice over, but there's nothing broken and no suspicious marks or lumps. “How do you feel, Alice?” Kurt asks, looking into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

 

“ANGRY!”

 

“Angry? Sweetie, why are you angry?”

 

“Cuz you taked the cream!”

 

“Oh, well, yes I did, because you were trying to paint your brother, and we discussed how that wasn’t a sensible thing to do.” 

 

“Bae?”

 

“Yes, Joshy.” I pat him absentmindedly on the head while still cuddling Maggie. “Alice, Kurt only took the cream so you were safe.”

 

“Don’ care!” 

 

“No, well, maybe we won’t keep it up there anymore. We’ll find a new home for it. But don’t climb again, okay? You were lucky you didn’t hurt yourself.”

 

“Bae?”

 

“Yes, Joshy. Alice, do you hear me?”

 

“Yes Bane.” But her defiant pout tells me she’ll soon try it again. 

 

“Hang on.” Kurt suddenly brightens. “Blaine, I think Joshua is saying your name. Joshy? Joshy, who’s this?” 

 

“Bae,” he repeats, looking very pleased with himself. He pulls himself up on my shoulder, stands there, and claps. 

 

Then he promptly falls over. 

 

The moment ends up being a happy one, as we all try to get Joshua to repeat various words and also to stand unaided again, but when it’s all died down, and the kids are occupied with their toys, an atmosphere begins to build between Kurt and I, and for the first time ever, neither of us addresses it. 

 

“We could go out this afternoon?” I suggest. “Feed the ducks?”

 

“Blaine there are men with cameras literally sitting in their cars waiting for me to appear. I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

“All weekend?”

 

“All weekend.” 

 

“The kids will go stir crazy.” 

 

“Feel free to take them anyplace you choose.”

 

“I’m not allowed, am I? It’s in the new contract.” 

 

“I told you that didn’t apply.” 

 

And there it is; the reference to a moment that went way too far, and once again, we’re back to an awkward silence. Undeniably, Kurt and I would have kissed were it not for our little explorer trying to scale the furniture. Whatever would or could have happened from there is anyone’s guess, but the fact is; in that moment, we both wanted it, and it was far more potent a moment than the one we’d shared on the landing a few weeks back. 

 

I know we need to discuss it; he knows we need to discuss it, but we don’t. I take the kids to feed the ducks, and when I return I lie completely and say that Sam needs me for the rest of the weekend. I let three beautiful children down, I hurt Kurt’s feelings, and ignore my own. 

 

I don’t contact Kurt at all. I don’t tell anyone anything; not even Cooper, who is summoned to my apartment by Sam and Santana. I just write music, drink wine, and then haul my sorry ass into work on Monday before heading across town to give Maggie her lesson. 

 

Kurt returns to the house just as I am leaving. He walks in without a word to anyone, and straight up the stairs. I feel Polly and Quinn’s eyes on me. 

 

“I didn’t do anything, I swear!”

 

“You must’ve done.”

 

“I didn’t!”

 

“Then go after him,” Polly orders. “Find out what’s upset him.” 

 

“Oh...fine.” 

 

In all the many hours I’ve spent in this house, I have never been into Kurt’s room. It just didn’t seem right, somehow, and now I find myself feeling nervous as I push the door open to find Kurt sitting on the edge of his bed, staring out of the window. 

 

The room is larger than the guest room, and painted a soft gray. The dark wood floor and bed are in a stark contrast to all the white soft furnishings and damn, that bed he’s sitting on is enormous. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

Kurt stays silent, and I walk around to sit next to him. I hesitate for a moment, and then I reach out, holding his hand. 

 

“Kurt, I know things have been weird between us, and I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I certainly didn’t mean to. I just...”

 

“It’s not that.”

 

He sighs, stares out of the window for a little longer, then looks down at our hands. “A guy at work asked me out.” 

 

“Oh.” I let go of his hand and go sit in the window seat instead. “Well....that’s good, isn’t it? Do you like him?”

 

He shrugs. “He seems okay.”

 

“I wasn’t aware that you... I mean, I didn’t know you’d uh...met someone.” 

 

“I haven’t! I mean, I’ve met him, but we’ve only shared a couple of scenes together.”

 

“Oh? Seems a bit bold, then, for him to be asking you out if he barely knows you.” 

 

“It’s...” Kurt stops, and gives me a look. Maybe we both know I’m being jealous and petty. “I guess we’ve been flirting. I wondered if it...would distract. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.” 

 

“Well you must be very good at it, if he’s asked you out.”

 

“Just...” He pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes deeply. Possibly to keep from yelling a me. “There’s this award ceremony on Friday. The whole cast are going; first time we’ll all be seen on the red carpet together, you know? I think it's in the hope that next year we’ll be nominated for something. Anyway, he asked if we could go together. Not to walk the red carpet together, or anything, just... you know.” 

 

I’m not sure I do, and I’m not sure that I want to, either. “Right. So did you accept?”

 

“I told him I needed to think about it.” Kurt takes another deep breath, lets it all out, and then looks across at me. “The thing is, I wanted to ask you to come with me. But then that weird....thing...happened, and now I think you’re probably really wary of me.”

 

Relief floods me. Seconds earlier, I felt like I was losing him. “No, Kurt... No. That couldn’t be more wrong.” 

 

I move back to the bed, and this time I take both of his hands in mine. “Listen to me, please. We need to talk about this, because it’s affecting us and how we are with the kids. I don’t know what happened there, I don’t know why it happened, but can we just move on?”

 

“I was stupidly gay.”

 

I laugh. “Well, then, maybe we were stupidly gay together. It certainly wasn’t all you, or all me. We can put it down to a brief moment of insanity, and forget about it, can’t we?”

 

“I’d like to. The awkwardness has been getting me down.”

 

“Same.”

 

“Blaine, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to ruin all of that by being...”

 

“Stupidly gay?”

 

“Yeah.” He laughs. “That.”

 

“Let’s agree to forget about it, then.”

 

“So...I could ask you to be my date on Friday and it wouldn’t be weird?”

 

“Totally not weird. You supported me for a work event, and I’ll be supporting you, that’s all.” 

 

“Right. So... will you?”

 

“Depends. Don’t you want to go with this other guy?”

 

“No. I never even wanted to flirt with him. I was just trying to prove a dumb point to myself, I think. I want to go with you.”

 

“I don’t have to pose for any photos or anything, do I?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then yes.”

 

We share a hug, and then everything returns to normal. 

 

Except... I can’t deny the overwhelming jealousy I’d felt when Kurt told me someone had asked him out, and the sinking feeling when he’d admitted to flirting with the guy. I can’t ignore the moment he straddled me, or the fact that I replay it in my head continuously, and I definitely can’t deny that the blue eyes that have been haunting my dreams and songs for so long, are Kurt’s. 

  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Kurt**

 

Being an actor has often come in useful throughout my life; from pretending that the school bullies didn’t bother me, to suffering through excruciating family dinners with my drunken great aunt. I’ve always been able to put a mask in place be a different person.

 

I’m aware that this is what I’m doing right now, with Blaine, and I’m aware that I’m also acting for my own benefit, too. Pretending everything is fine, and that I don’t feel some weird pull towards him; that he’s not constantly on my mind. 

 

I am cheerful and upbeat about our evening out, because he is too, and it’s clear that whatever internal crisis I’m suffering through right now, Blaine is not feeling the same. He brings Sam to set, on my invitation, and when we’re all sharing lunch in my trailer, he starts talking about another new girlfriend and her cousin, whom Blaine is, apparently, perfect for. 

 

Blaine shrugs it all off, but he also takes the girl’s number and admires a photo that Sam shows him. I walk away, telling them I’m needed back on set. That night, when Blaine comes over for dinner, as he now does most days, I don’t say a word about it, and we carry on with our usual routine. Later that evening, when the kids are asleep, Blaine plays me snippets of new songs he is working on; all of them beautiful, all of them showcasing his talent, and all of them most definitely not about me. 

 

“There’s one more,” he says when I yawn. “But we can do it some other time.”

 

“No, go on. Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

 

“Tomorrow will be even longer.”

 

“True, but at least the awards will be fun. Next week I have night shoots. Oh, and hey, the week after that, I have to go to Vancouver.”  

 

“Vancouver? Why?”

 

“Because it's cheaper to shoot there.”

 

“What about the kids?”

 

“Polly will cover extra, and I’ll use the agency. Quinn’s going to fly them up on the weekend.”

 

“Wow. You’ll miss them.”

 

“A lot.” I stop, but my face breaks into a smile. “I do get my suit, though.” 

 

Blaine laughs. “Aw, look at you, fanboying over wearing a superhero suit.”

 

“I can't help it!”

 

“I don’t blame you! I’d be beside myself. Anyway, you wanna hear this song before I go home?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“C’mere then.” 

 

I sit next to him on the piano bench, and he begins. This number is slower than the rest; more haunting and painful; almost raw. I listen carefully to the lyrics. Blaine is a master at telling a story through song, and I hear him sing about someone with blue eyes who is always in his heart. He sings of a man wanting to confess his love, of needing to say the words that scare him so much, and each time he tries to walk away, those blue eyes stay in his heart. The performance is so real, I begin to think Blaine is a better actor than I am. 

 

“That’s like... really beautiful,” I say when Blaine brings the song to a close. “Wow, Blaine. You need to shop that around a bit, make people listen. I really think that’s your best song yet.”

 

“Yeah?” He smiles, but there’s a sadness there, too, and I can’t work out why. “What did you think of the lyrics?”

 

“They’re so... painful to listen to, but in a really good way, you know? Like this could be the perfect song for so many people in so many situations. The guy who you sing of? He needs to find some courage from somewhere, and say those words.”

 

“What if he can’t? What if there’s so much to lose, if it all goes wrong?”

 

Blaine’s comment makes me stop, and review my own situation. There’s too much to lose; too much that could, and probably would, go wrong. 

 

“Then he should shut the hell up and appreciate all that he does have, instead,” I declare, and Blaine laughs. 

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Leaning over, he quickly kisses my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll arrive at six?”

 

“Uh-uh. It’s my date, this time. I’ll pick you up.”

 

Blaine stands outside of his apartment, dressed in a classic black tux with a white scarf. He looks elegant, refined, and exactly the kind of guy I’d like to have on my arm. It’s hard to ignore the shiver of want that runs through me, but I shut it down immediately and slide to one side for Blaine to get in the car. 

 

“We get a driver?” he asks excitedly. “Cool!”

 

Then he stops. 

 

“Oh wow.”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh nothing.” He blushes, gives a shy smile, then kisses my cheek. “I’m totally gonna have the hottest date there. You look divine.”

 

“Thank you. As do you, and actually, I think I’m gonna have the hottest date. I wonder how many people will ask me who you are?”

 

“Hmm, well, if anyone does, kindly say I’m with you, okay?”

 

“As in, not available?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“You could easily meet someone at something like this.”

 

“Kindly say I’m with you, okay, Kurt? I have no interest in anyone else. I mean...” He stops and frowns. “Oh crap. I don’t know what I mean. Are things gonna get weird? I don’t want them to be weird.” 

 

“No,” I decide, firmly taking his hand in mine. “Things are not going to get weird. We’re weird, I know, but let’s just have a fun night, okay? I don’t want to be worrying about stupid things we say.”

 

“Good.” 

 

And so that’s what we do. 

 

Blaine is charming company, and my colleagues and co-stars love him. What  _ I _ love about him, is that he has no clue who anyone is; all these big names walking around and Blaine talks to them as if he were chatting to Sam or Cooper. He is an attentive date, too, always checking on my welfare and staying close at hand. The awards ceremony is tiresome, I know, but he stays happy and upbeat, and even goes outside to call and check on the children twice so that I don’t have to leave my seat. It’s the most relaxed I’ve ever felt in a formal setting, and I even feel comfortable enough to put my arm around the back of Blaine’s chair to draw him closer. 

 

The aftershow party is held at a venue nearby, and it’s easier to let my hair down a little more knowing that there aren’t any cameras in there. We drink more, laugh louder, and hit the dance floor. 

 

“What’s the deal with you and that guy?” I am asked, more than once, and each time I simply reply: “He’s Blaine,” and move on. I know, as soon as the slow songs start, that we should leave, but Blaine is fuzzy from the effects of the champagne, and he pulls me back to the dancefloor and into his arms.

 

“Been waiting for this all evening,” he admits, his lips just grazing above my collar. “Holding you.” 

 

My heart was already racing but hearing those words makes it pound harder. “Yeah?”

 

“I think about it a lot, Kurt, when you’re not with me. How it feels to have you in my arms.”

 

I pull back, slightly, to see his face, but he hooks his chin over my shoulder again; clearly it’s hard for him to say all of this. 

 

“I think about it too,” I admit quietly. “All the time.” 

 

“I don’t know if it’ll ever feel so right with anyone else.”

 

“That’s... I mean, um...” I pause a moment to catch my breath. “How does that make you feel?”

 

“Scared.” 

 

“Me too.” 

 

We dance on, but head home at the end of the song. Unable to be parted, we walk to the car hand in hand, and stay fused together for the ride home, too. We barely speak; I think both of us are scared to make all of this real. 

 

Arriving home, it’s all back to normal. Blaine helps me from the car, we step inside the door, and there is Alice at the top of the stairs. “I peed,” she says sadly, and Blaine rushes to console her while Polly and I change the sheets. 

 

I’m relieved the atmosphere is broken; I don’t think I’d have had the courage to act on my feelings anyway, and Blaine is up and out to work before I surface the next day. I put the end of the evening down to drunkenness, even though we were hardly more than a little merry.

 

Quinn rouses me; calling my phone repeatedly and pressing on the doorbell until I’m forced to race down the stairs lest she wake the kids. “What the hell?”

 

“No, I need to be asking you that! Here!” she thrusts a magazine into my hands and storms down to the kitchen. I follow, laying the magazine on the table, and then my hand flies up to my mouth. 

 

“Oh holy fucking shit.”

 

“Exactly, Kurt. Please tell me how you’re going to spin this because honestly? I’m all out of answers.” 

 

I’ve made the front cover... only, so has Blaine. It’s a shot of us leaving the party only eight hours prior, hand in hand, looking at each other as if we were deeply in love. I turn to page six, as instructed and there, laid out across eight glossy pages, is mine and Blaine’s life for the last three months. Thankfully, the children’s faces are blurred, but there’s photos of us in the park, of Blaine carrying Alice on his shoulders, of both of us smiling as Maggie pushes Joshua in a swing. There’s pictures of us strolling around the neighborhood, of us arriving at my trailer; there’s even a picture of Blaine collecting Maggie from ballet, kissing her cheek as he holds her in his arms. The photos go way back; the time we went to the restaurant near Blaine’s apartment and he held my hand; the time we walked to get pastries and Alice threw a tantrum; the morning Blaine left the house and I had to dash outside in my pyjamas to stop Maggie from following him... Everything. Every single moment of our life. 

 

The photos are incriminating; painting a picture that was never meant to be told, and that could never be true. Worst of all though, is the speculative text of the article. “Who is the mystery man?” “No prizes for guessing who’s daddy to this cutie pie!” plastered over a picture of Blaine and Joshua, and “Come on then, Kurt, spill the beans? Who is the mystery baby daddy? Are you two married already? We demand to know!”

 

I cry. 

 

I’m still crying when my dad calls, and then I cry harder when he reassures me that it’ll all be okay. “Blaine’s gonna kill me!”

 

“No he’s not. He’ll be fine, I know he will.” 

 

But Blaine is not fine. Blaine leaves work early after his boss calls him into the office and asks him if he knows he’s all over every entertainment news website. He didn’t, but by the time he arrives at my house, he’s pale, holding a copy of the magazine in one hand and his phone in the other. 

 

“I think I’ll leave you two alone,” Quinn says softly. Blaine sinks onto the couch and still says nothing. “Polly’s just arrived, so we’ll take the kids to jungle gym for a while. Just call, Kurt, when you want us back.” 

 

Her words barely register; all of my focus is on Blaine and I’m thankful that the kids aren’t brought in to say goodbye because this time, I don’t think I could pretend. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” I say as soon as the door closes. It feels wrong to sit next to him, so I sit on the coffee table instead, so that our knees are almost touching. 

 

Blaine looks up, his dark eyes swimming with tears. All I want to do is hold him, but it doesn’t feel right now. Not anymore. There was a line that was always there, and secretly we both knew we’d crossed it. 

 

“Why would anyone do this, Kurt? Why would anyone want to...to... to violate your privacy like that? To put the kids out there?”

 

“I think we both know who’s done it, and he won’t be coming back.”

 

“Marc?”

 

“Yeah. He didn’t admit to it, but didn’t object when Quinn told him he wouldn’t be needed anymore.” 

 

“So what? He’s been stalking us? Following us whenever we leave the house?”

 

“Hmm, no. Most likely he’s been in touch with fans. Some of them will do anything to feel close to me, to feel like they’re doing something of some importance. Remember that blog post, the first time we went out? It disappeared, right? Most likely Marc contacted them, and a few others, probably paid them off with juicy and totally made up gossip about me in exchange for photos.” 

 

“That’s horrible.” 

 

“Perils of the job, I guess, but this isn’t about me. You...”

 

He drops his head. “Don’t worry about me. The kids...”

 

“Well, Quinn and I have talked about that. I’m um.. I’m shamelessly going to offer Polly a substantial amount of money to be their permanent nanny. I can trust her, the kids love her. We’ll try and give them as normal an existence as possible. What do you think?”

 

“I think....” Blaine pauses, lets a breath out, and presses his fingers into his eyes. “I think they’re not my kids, so whatever decision you make about them, is fine by me.” 

 

“Blaine, I’d like your input.”

 

“I can’t, Kurt.” Opening his eyes, he looks so completely lost and sad that it tears me apart. “You and I, we’ve been living in this bubble, haven’t we? Laughing about it, saying we know we’re weird... but we both know how it’s looked all along.”

 

“I’m sorry, Blaine, I never meant...”

 

“I know. I know you didn’t Kurt, really, I know. And I don’t want you to feel guilty or like you’ve done anything wrong because really, you haven’t. I just...” He blinks, and two tears roll down his cheeks. “My parents, you know? They’re going to have people asking them, wondering, speculating, and I’ve got to try and explain to them that none of those pictures are what they seem. Cooper, Sam, Santana.... They’re all wondering, I know, and this paints a pretty damning picture for someone who repeatedly swears nothing is going on.”

 

I look down at the magazine spread next to him. We look like the most intimate of lovers, the happiest of couples, the most doting of parents. 

 

“I had a call from the Janae Parker show. They want me to go on, Monday.”

 

“You’re not going to do it, are you?”

 

“Quinn thinks it’d be a good idea. I think... I think I should.” 

 

“Kurt, no.”

 

“Hear me out. It’d give me a chance to say there and then that there’s nothing but friendship between you and I. I could say that yes, I’m gay, and yes, I’m fostering these kids long term, but that I’m single, and you’re straight. That way, attention deflects to my sexuality.” 

 

“So, like, you use your coming out as a bargaining chip?”

 

“Kinda, yeah. I could talk about it in interviews and stuff, in exchange for the media silence over you and the kids.” 

 

“I can't ask you to do that.” 

 

“You didn’t, Blaine, but I can’t stand by and watch the people I love the most destroyed by the media, just because of the career I chose.”

 

“But won’t this impact on that?”

 

“Well... The studio are already going kinda nuts, to be honest, but they can’t stop me from confirming or denying anything. Quinn’s dealing with them. At least I landed the role first, eh?” I try to joke, but we both know there’s no humor to be had. Unless Firestone does exceptionally well, it won’t be picked up for a second season with a gay man in the main role. Despite society’s steps toward inclusivity and acceptance, Hollywood is still a very different story. “I could always try to go back to musical theater?”

 

Blaine leans back on the couch, covers his face with his hands, and cries. 

 

I have to go to him; to do anything less would be shameful. He belongs there, in my arms, and I know he’s grateful because he clutches me and lets it all out. I know how much better life can seem after a good cry, and certainly it seems to work for Blaine because although he seems embarrassed when he’s done, he does manage a smile. 

 

“This won’t end our friendship, will it?”

 

“Not unless you want it to.”

 

He pulls a face. “No! That would be hell.”

 

“I kinda really need you, Blaine. Now, more than ever, I think.”

 

“And I’ll be here, I promise you. We can get past this. It’ll all die down.”

 

“I’m going to do that show on Monday.”

 

He nods, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “I can’t say I approve, but I think it might be the only way to get the heat off your private life. I feel bad for you, though.” 

 

“Please don’t.” 

 

“What now, though? What happens today, and tomorrow, with an army of press camped outside?” 

 

“We shut down, I guess, stay inside.” 

 

“It’s the most beautiful weather we’ve had all year.”

 

“Oh then by all means, go sit on the front steps and bask in the sunlight.” 

 

Blaine laughs. “I didn’t mean that. I just...the kids, you know?”

 

“I know.” 

 

He looks out of the window at the line of press lurking across the street. “We could take them to my parents?”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard.”

 

“Yes, but you’ve just said you need to do some damage control there, so now you’re going to parade me and the kids about as if we’re really the couple that the press are making out?”

 

“No, I’m going to keep you safe, because you’re the ones I love the most. I’m going to give those kids a chance to run and play outside and just be normal kids for a couple of days. They have no idea, Kurt, what you do, or why those men are waiting. Just let them enjoy themselves.”

 

“But your parents?”

 

“Eh, I wanted them to meet you anyway. Might as well get everything out of the way in one go.” 

 

Filled with a relief that I very much needed, I nod. “Yes please, then,” I say. “Take us away, keep us safe.” 

  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Kurt**

 

It takes less than an hour for Blaine to call his parents and work, for the kids to return, and for us to throw some clothes into bags and be gone. Blaine drives, and I am referee, since the kids decide now is the moment to bicker, gripe, moan and generally cause havoc. It means Blaine and I don’t really have much of a chance to talk, but when Maggie is pulling Joshua’s hair, and Alice is biting her big sister, it’s really not all that easy to discuss thoughts, feelings, and imminent visits to parents. 

 

“Sing along time!” Blaine declares, and promptly brings up a children’s song playlist which starts with Puff the Magic Dragon. “Maggie, just you wait, my mama will play this for you, I bet.” 

 

Blaine is a genius. Alice loves to bellow, or sing. Maggie is quieter, but happy, and Joshua claps his hands and bounces up and down in his seat. We all sing along and then, when they’re fully occupied, I turn to Blaine. “You call your mom, mama?”

 

“And?”

 

“Nothing, it’s cute. As long as you don’t still call your dad, daddy.” 

 

“I do, actually.”

 

“You’re kidding me.”

 

“No.” He laughs at my face, which must show my surprise. “Daddy or dad. Interchangeable. What can I say?”

 

“I don’t think there’s anything to say, really. You know that’s a kink, right? Daddy kink?”

 

“Ew! No I did not. Now you’ve ruined it, Kurt. Get out!”

 

I laugh. “Not with your dad! I mean... guys...girls too, I guess? Calling the more dominant guy daddy?”

 

“It’s never happened to me, I can assure you.”

 

“Not exactly dominant though, are you Blaine?”

 

He looks across at me, feigning shock, and then he looks me up and down. “Wanna bet?”

 

“Yeah, I do!” I laugh, desperately trying to ignore the burning heat in the pit of my stomach. “You’re wonderful, please don’t get me wrong, but you wouldn’t be the boss in the bedroom.”

 

“Not in your bedroom, Kurt, no, because you’d never relinquish control for anyone.”

 

“I might. If you asked nicely.” 

 

“Ha!” He laughs loudly at that, seemingly enjoying the flirtatious nature of the conversation. Swinging the car into a small street, he reaches across and squeezes my hand “Maybe one day I will. Okay, kids, we’re here!” 

 

Blaine’s dad comes out of the house first, and Blaine is there in an instant, throwing himself into his arms and whispering something that I can’t hear. His dad says something in return and then uses his thumb to wipe a tear from Blaine’s cheek before tenderly kissing his forehead. He smiles brightly, then follows his son over to the car, where I stand with Joshua in my arms and the girls in front of me. 

 

“Well hello there,” he says, crouching down to the girls. “You must be Maggie and Alice. Blaine’s told me lots about you. I’m Peter, Blaine’s daddy.” He holds out his hand for them to shake, and it’s instantly easy to see where Blaine has got his impeccable manners from. So different from my own dad, but equally as kind and caring, I warm to Peter immediately. 

 

He straightens up, chucks Joshua under the chin, and then offers his hand to me, pulling me into a hug as he does so. “Kurt. Wonderful to finally meet you.” 

 

“You too. And uh... thank you.” I blush hard. “Thank you for letting us stay on such short notice. I...”

 

“Think nothing of it,” he says, taking Joshua into his arms. “You’re all welcome here. Come inside and meet Joanna.” 

 

Blaine is the image of his father, and the second I see Joanna I realize that Cooper has taken after her; she has the same eyes and light brown hair, and the same smile, too. Again, she is warm and welcoming; hugging and kissing both of the girls, taking Joshua into her arms, and kissing my cheek. 

 

“So wonderful to have such an exciting weekend!” she exclaims. She hands Joshua back to Blaine and fetches a plate of cookies. “Peter and I were only saying this morning that we had no plans and now here we are, with a house full of people! Aren’t we lucky? Now, girls, you sit there and have some cookies and milk, then I’ll show you to your room.” 

 

They’re immediately content, and Joshua gnaws on a cookie, smearing it all over Blaine, while Joanna takes us out into the hallway. “Now, about the sleeping arrangements,” she says, glancing up the stairs. “It was all a little last minute, and daddy didn’t have time to clear the fourth bedroom. So I have the girls next door to us, in Cooper’s old room, and I put you two and Joshy in your old room, Blaine, is that okay?”

 

“Uh..his name is Joshua,” I interject. 

 

“Yes, dear.” Joanna pats my hand. “Blaine said you’d say that.”

 

“Mom, Kurt and I can’t share a room,” Blaine says quietly. “We just...can’t.” 

 

“Why?” She looks between us. “You said nothing was going on.”

 

“It’s not! But...”

 

“Well then. I mean, of course, if something _ is _ going on, then Joshy can come in with us, but...”

 

“Oh my god,” Blaine moans. Picking up a bag, he stomps up the stairs. “Nothing is going on!”

 

“Okay darling!” 

 

I smile politely before following Blaine upstairs to a large and airy room, still decorated as it would have been in Blaine’s teenage years. The walls are pale blue, the furniture white, the duvet and curtains are blue and red plaid, and there’s even still a pinboard with photos attached. 

 

“There’s one bed.” 

 

“Yes there’s one bed,” he snaps. Setting Joshua on the floor to crawl about, he sits on it and looks out of the window at the yard. “You take it, I’ll go down on the couch.”

 

“Blaine?... Is it an issue to share a bed with me because I’m a guy, or because I’m gay?”

 

“What?” He turns accusingly. “I can’t believe you’re even asking me that! Do you think that little of me? My issue isn’t either of those things. My issue is that we both know we shouldn’t be this close. We said it. There’s weird, and then there’s fucked up, Kurt, and sharing a bed with you right now, given the fact that the entire WORLD thinks we’re at it like rabbits, definitely borders on the latter. Jesus!”

 

“Okay.” I kneel on the bed behind him, drape my arms over his shoulders, and kiss his cheek. “I get it. I do. But right now? There’s you, and me, and our three, plus your parents. I’m pretty sure none of them, or us, are going to run to the press to reveal the fact that we shared a bed for one night. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then I’ll go on the floor, but please, don’t go on the couch; your mom and dad are just the sweetest, and I don’t want them to feel that their hospitality isn't good enough.” 

 

I’m half expecting Blaine to shrug me off, but he doesn’t. He rests a hand over mine, closes his eyes, and leans back onto my shoulder. “I’m scared I’m going to lose you,” he admits, his voice cracking. “I’m scared of a lot of things right now, but that’s the one that scares me the most. In the midst of it all, under all the pressure and stress, what if it all becomes too much, and we fall out?”

 

“We won’t let that happen.”

 

“I don’t think I’d recover, Kurt. I wouldn’t just lose you; I’d lose them, too, and I wouldn’t cope without any of you in my life.” 

 

“I promise you, Blaine, I’m not saying goodbye to you, or letting go, or cutting ties, in any way at all.” 

 

“You called them ‘our three.’” 

 

“Did I? Huh. Well...”

 

I’m aware we’re both waiting for one or other of us to say something, but I certainly don’t know what to add without ruining everything, so I stay silent and settle for holding Blaine, instead, while Joshua stands at his knee, playing with his fingers. For now, it’s enough. 

 

“Blaine, mama said to... Oh. Oh, I do apologize. My bad.”

 

We pull apart quickly at the sound of Peter’s voice, but the door was wide open and he no doubt saw us wrapped up in our moment. 

 

“It’s fine, we were just talking,” I say with a weak smile. 

 

“Good, good. Here, let me take the baby for you.”

 

“Really no need, dad.”

 

“No, no, if you two want a...moment, then...”

 

“Dad!”

 

“Right. Well, mama was thinking we might all take a walk and get some ice cream, what do you say?”

 

It’s the best possible idea, since the distraction of the kids, and Blaine’s parents, means we don’t have to be alone, or even talk to one another, if we don’t want to. The forest at the back of the Anderson’s house is beautiful, and the long, winding path leads us through to the other side of the small town, emerging by a cute little town square. The ice cream parlor is cute, antiquated, almost, and the girls love its pretty pastel colors. I feel like I’ve stepped back into the fifties, somehow, and when I tell Blaine, he shoves a quarter in the jukebox and sets Elvis to play. 

 

“Well since my baby left me,” Blaine sings along, much to everyone’s delight. “I’ve found a new place to dwell.” He even swivels his hips, which makes Alice scream with delight and Joshua clap his hands. “Dance?”

 

“No I will not,” I say, pulling him into the booth. “We’re not supposed to be drawing attention to our whereabouts.” 

 

“I forgot that.” 

 

“Nevermind, it was cute.” 

 

“That’s not what I was going for,” he says when his parents are helping the girls to choose from the menu. “I was trying to be hot.”

 

“You don’t need to try.” 

 

And there it goes again. 

 

Blaine and I can flirt outrageously with each other, and it was always  fun, silly, enjoyable and meaningless, but now, I am fast discovering, that’s all changed. The flirty fun has turned into something that feels very much like a desperate, burning desire, and I have a feeling that Blaine might feel it too; which is why he’s so scared and upset. 

 

For his sake, I know I need to cool it, and so I make a concerted effort to focus on the kids and getting to know Blaine’s parents. The ice cream is good, the walk back is fun, and for once, Maggie doesn’t moan about the distance. How can she, when she’s got Peter to point out all the different leaves on the trees, or to identify different bird calls? 

 

When we get home again, Joanna unlocks a small summerhouse, and from inside she brings footballs, tennis racquets, and an old sit and ride horse that Blaine, apparently, calls Neddy. 

 

“He was mine!” he says excitedly, and lifts Joshua from his stroller to have a turn. The toy is in impeccable condition; in fact, they all are. Even an old bike of Cooper’s has fully inflated tires and clean brakes. When I point this out to Joanna, she blushes slightly. 

 

“Well, I mean... I mean we might have been waiting for grandchildren to arrive,” she says casually. “Not that... I mean, I know they’re not our grandchildren, but it’s nice to see the toys being played with again.” 

 

We watch as Blaine pushes Joshua around the yard. They’re both laughing and stopping every few feet to kiss each other; their adoration clear. Maggie and Alice take turns in throwing the football to Peter; Alice has a surprisingly deadly and powerful throw for a three year old. 

 

“Nice to see Blaine so happy,” Joanna remarks, and even though I know it’s a loaded comment, I still bite. 

 

“I don’t know if he is. Not all of the time. I want him to be.”

 

“When do you think he’s happiest?”

 

“When he’s with us.”

 

“What about when he’s just with you?”

 

“I think.... I think he could be. We both could be. Certainly that was the case, until...”

 

I stop. It was the case until I straddled him in his room when he was only wearing his underwear, is the answer. Things got weird from that point on. We’d agreed to forget it, to move on, but as it turns out, we’ve not been able to do that at all, and now it’s even worse. 

 

“I’m going on a chat show on Monday,” I inform her. “To set everything straight, as it were. I didn’t mean for this mix up to occur, so the least I can do is make sure the world knows Blaine is straight and single.”

 

To my surprise, Joanna laughs. “Blaine isn’t straight, dear. I don’t know what he is, really, and I don’t think he does either, but he’s most certainly not only attracted to women.” She looks me up and down, just to emphasise her point, and then goes inside. 

 

I refuse to dwell on her remarks, and instead I help with dinner, and then Blaine and I bath the kids and get them to bed. In the evening, we all play cards, something I am very grateful for, because it distracts from what’s to come, but it rolls around eventually, of course; Peter and Joanna say goodnight, walk up the stairs, and then it’s up to Blaine and I. 

 

“I wanna ask you to come to bed, but that’ll be weird, so...”

 

“Everything between us is weird.” 

 

“Okay.” Blaine sighs as he gathers our empty glasses and sets about turning out the lights. “No need to be a grouch about it.”

 

“Well I am a grouch, because I don’t like it, and I don’t know when, or if, things will get back to normal. You’re all flirty, Blaine, and it’s not fair.” 

 

“You’re flirty too!”

 

“But I’m not going to act on it, because I assumed you were straight!”

 

“Past tense?”

 

I trail him out to the kitchen. “Your mom says you’re not.” 

 

He gives a little laugh. “Does she indeed?”

 

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

 

Closing the dishwasher, he leans against it and sighs. “No there’s not. I have only ever had sex with women. I’ve never even kissed another guy, not even on a drunken night in college, nothing. Satisfied?”

 

“Not really. Why did she say that, then?” 

 

“Let’s just say, my mom can read me like an open book, okay?” He slides past me on the way out of the room, letting our fingers brush together. “Come to bed.” 

 

We are silent then, taking it in turns to use the bathroom to change into shorts and t-shirt, both pairs being mine, since Blaine hasn’t been home to grab clean clothes. He gets into bed first, holding out the duvet for me, and after kissing Joshua, who is sleeping soundly in his travel crib, I slide in next to him, and turn out the light. 

 

It surprises me that he reaches for me, but I find that I need his touch so much that I almost cry to feel his hands on my back. He holds me as you’d hold a lover; carefully, reverently, lovingly. I melt around him, bringing my leg up to his waist and letting one hand run up into his hair. Blaine lies on his back, his arms about me, and when I press my lips to his cheek, he closes his eyes. 

 

“I just want to hold you, Kurt, is that okay? My head is a scrambled mess of everything right now, and I just want the chance to let all of that melt away.”

 

“Of course.” 

 

There’s nothing more to say, really, so we lie there in the dark and then, when I’m almost asleep, Blaine kisses my forehead softly. “I wish I was brave,” he whispers quietly, but I don’t let on that I’ve heard. 

 

We both force joviality the next day. We’re happy and upbeat, like the fucking Waltons, in fact, only underneath, both Blaine and I are paddling like crazy to stay afloat. When Peter and Joanna offer to take the kids to church, both Blaine and I decide to go with them, despite the fact I haven’t been in years. He’s putting off having a conversation with me, and I’m putting off listening to what I don’t think I’ll want to hear. 

 

After lunch, we reluctantly make our way back to the city. I promise we’ll return soon, of course I do, but the reality is I don’t know whether Blaine and I will be in a position to do this again. 

 

“I want that lady to be a grandma,” Maggie declares as we drive away. “I love her. And I love Peter. Can he be a grandad?”

 

Neither of us answer. 

 

There are press and fans waiting when we arrive back, which immediately sets Blaine on edge and his annoyance starts to panic the girls again. Everyone is tetchy, snapping at each other and generally bad-tempered, so of course it follows that Alice refuses to leave the car and then, when Blaine wrestles her out of her car seat, she throws herself on the floor. 

 

“Not goin’ inside!” she screams over the click of the camera lens. “Can’t make me! Not gonna!” 

 

“Get. Up.” Blaine grits his teeth and tries to move her, then looks to me for help. 

 

“Come on, sweetie, let’s go inside.” 

 

“NO!” She kicks out, and hard, but I don’t dare flinch. 

 

“That was very bad,” I say softly. “And I need you to stop it right now. We have to get inside, otherwise none of these people will go away, do you understand? So please, just let Blaine pick you up and we can go in, and close the door.”

 

“Will there be pizza for dinner?”

 

“If you want.” I know it’s rewarding bad behavior, but I am totally past the point of caring. Alice lifts her arms up, and lets Blaine take her inside, and that’s all I care about right now. 

 

The tantrum only serves to make Blaine more withdrawn, and he barely eats dinner that night. He excuses himself at one point, then comes back and announces that he’s not going into work for a few days. 

 

“I’ll come with you tomorrow.”

 

“You don’t need to do that.”

 

“I want to.”

 

“I’m on night shoots starting tomorrow.”

 

“I know.” 

 

I was hoping he’d offer to stay here, but he doesn’t, so I don’t persist. We perform the usual routine of bathing and bed times, and then, the inevitable happens when Blaine sits me down at the kitchen table and says we need to talk. 

 

“I think I’ve been really unfair on you,” he begins, holding a mug of tea between his hands. He fixes his stare on this, and not my face. “I think that maybe I’ve given you false hope, and that was never my intention. I know how I’ve been, though, and for that, I apologize. I just... I need you to know that nothing can happen, here, okay? Because I think that maybe you want it to, and... well, it can’t.” 

 

I swallow hard, and try to set my face into a neutral expression. “Of course. I understand that. You’ve not given me any false hope, Blaine. Don’t worry.”

 

“Huh? But I...”

 

“Ah, it was only ever harmless flirting. For me, anyway. Did you think I’d read into it?”

 

“Well, yes, I... Because I...”

 

“Look, we’re best friends, right? Best friends comfort one another, have fun together... We’ve let the weight of the world bring us down, but I’ve never thought that we have a...a thing going.”

 

“Oh.” He looks momentarily stunned, as if that wasn’t the answer that he was expecting or hoping for, but he recovers well. “Okay, well, good. I’m glad that’s all cleared up. I’m um.. I’m going to bed.” 

 

“You’re staying?” 

 

“I had Cooper bring some clothes over to Quinn while we were away. I thought it’d be useful if I stayed here while you were on night shoots.”

 

“Oh my...” I laugh. “Yes, that would be...amazing. Thank you, Blaine, just... thank you.” I kiss his cheek quickly but pull back, and he seems happy enough with that. 

 

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“Polly will be here at five. We’ll need to leave by five thirty, if you’re sure about....”

 

“Coming with you?” He shrugs. “Of course. People think that’s all I do anyway. Trail you about everywhere.” 

 

“Oh, that’s not...”

 

“I’m okay with it. Might as well give ‘em what they want one last time, huh? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

It’s only once Blaine has gone upstairs that I realize it’s only seven thirty. 

 

As ever, Blaine’s support is unwavering the next day. Knowing I am full of nerves, he has the driver go by my favorite bakery, where he dashes in and returns with two coffees and a muffin to split. When we arrive at the studio, he steps back but stays close, letting Quinn do her job while also being my stalwart. He sits next to me in makeup, and then in the greenroom, as soon as we’re alone, he hugs me close and reassures me that I can do this. 

 

“Quinn said no questions about the kids ages, names, or where they came from,” I tell him. I break from his hold to walk back and forth. 

 

“I think that’s sensible.”

 

“Yeah. If I do move to adopt, I don’t want everyone knowing how it all came about. She also said no questions about you, other than a leading one for me to refute all the allegations.” 

 

“Right. Good.” 

 

“I could’ve said you’re a musician.”

 

“I’d rather I wasn’t mentioned at all. Listen, when this is done, it’ll all be over. The press interest in us will die down once they know we’re not together.”

 

Blaine couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t dare explain to him the notion of real-life shipping, or fanfiction, tumblr, and all the rest of it. I just smile, squeeze his hand, and then turn my attentions to the door as it opens. 

 

“Mr. Hummel, we’re ready for you now. Your friend can watch from the edge of the set, if he wants.” 

 

Janae is nice enough, but she’s a journalist and presenter and she has a job to do. We get the niceties out of the way; yes, I like living in New York again, yes, I went to college here, and so on. We talk briefly about filming; exterior shots right now, and I bemoan the imminent night shoots, and then, inevitably, the conversation takes a different route. 

 

“So, Kurt, since I happen to have you here, I have to ask... There’s been a lot of speculation in the press this weekend, over your personal life. Now really, that’s rare, right? You’re a notoriously private person and you’ve done a great job of keeping your personal life out of the  news, so what’s changed?”

 

“Uh, well, nothing, really,” I say with a laugh. “I still want it to be that way. It’s just, I guess there’s an interest, and that comes with the job.”

 

“So let’s discuss this, first of all.” A photo appears on a large screen behind me, and a monitor in front. It’s of me in the park, with the three kids, and Blaine is taking a picture of us. “Are these your kids? Have you somehow managed to keep the birth of three children out of the public eye?”

 

“Not exactly, no. I’m um... caring for them. I don’t really want to say any more on that, if you don’t mind. It’s a delicate situation, and for them, they’re having to get used to a whole different life, so...”

 

“I hear you. Of course. Well, they look adorable.”

 

“Thank you.” I try not to laugh; their faces are blurred so heavily, on my insistence, that you can only really see their torsos and legs. 

 

“Is there anything else you want to tell us? Would you care to... Oh, I don’t know. Identify the mystery man in the photo?” 

 

The audience whoops and cheers and out of the corner of my eye, I see Blaine standing there, waiting. 

 

“That’s uh... well...” 

 

“Do you have a boyfriend, Kurt?” 

 

More cheers. 

 

A new photo flashes up, and after glancing at it on the monitor, I turn around to see it larger than life behind me. It’s of us on Friday night, leaving the awards party hand in hand. We’re both laughing, turned to face each other, and it’s quite possibly the most beautiful photo I’ve ever seen, ever. 

 

Blaine’s beauty, his incomparable, heartfelt kindness, and wonderful caring, attentive ways seem to shine, to radiate out, and the photo, to me, captures everything that has made me fall so,  _ so _ hard for the man who is now standing there, waiting for me to deny everything. 

 

And I can’t. 

 

“He’s uh.... Look, I don’t want to say too much, really. I just...” I look back at the photo, and smile. “I’m happy. I guess that’s all I can say. He makes me incredibly happy.” 

 

“Can you define that a little more?”

 

“I don’t really want to. I mean, I’m gay. That’s not a secret, really. It’s a known thing.”

 

“And are you raising the kids together?”

 

“I guess um... I guess co-parenting would be a word I’d use, yes.” 

 

“And is it love?”

 

I laugh. “I think you’ve got enough out of me now. I’m happy with life, let’s just leave it there and  move on.” 

 

“Am I allowed to ask what he does for a living?”

 

“He’s a musician and a music teacher. And he’s fabulous at it.” 

 

The interview continues, with questions about my co-stars and directors, and how the series will connect to the comics. I assume I answer all the questions and smile in all the right places, but my heart is pounding and my throat feels dry. 

 

I can’t see Blaine anywhere.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Blaine**

 

It is at great expense that I take a cab from the studios back to Kurt’s place. Mercifully, Polly is there to let me in and one look at my face tells her something has gone badly wrong. 

 

“Maggie’s at school,” she trills brightly as she shoves toys away. “Alice finishes pre-school shortly, so Joshy and I will walk up to meet her. Maybe we’ll go to the science museum, eh?”

 

“I think that would be for the best.”

 

“Yes.” She picks Joshy up and I absentmindedly kiss the top of his head. “I saw it, Blaine. The interview.”

 

“Great.” 

 

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Polly says softly. “I think he’s been trying to tell you for weeks, he just didn't know how.” 

 

But Polly’s words can’t stem my anger, and when Kurt finally arrives home- without Quinn, thank goodness- I am ready and waiting. 

 

“I know,” he starts, but I cut him off immediately. 

 

“No you do NOT know!” I yell loudly. “You have NO IDEA what you’ve just done to me, Kurt. None!”

 

“Blaine, I...”

 

“Shut up! Just shut up. You’ve said enough. It’s my turn now. You said...you promised, that you’d go on that damn show to deny everything, you said. Tell everyone they were wrong. So what happened? What went wrong?”

 

“Is that... Do you want me to answer?”

 

“YES!”

 

“Right. I just...” He bites his lip but the tears still fall. “That photo...”

 

“Oh well that’s the best explanation I’ve ever heard, Kurt. Thanks for clearing it up.”

 

“No, Blaine...”

 

“You know what, Kurt? I’ve spent the last two days desperately trying to convince my friends and family that I’m not a liar. That I’m not in some secret relationship and that I haven’t discovered that I like guys. They believed me and now? Now I look like shit, like the worst possible kind of liar there is. Like I’ve sucked them all in and now I’ve been found out. My parents will think I’ve lied to them, Kurt! I’ve never lied to my mom and dad!”

 

“Never?”

 

“Don’t. Just don’t. You know what? You, sitting there, grinning like an innocent lovesick teenager... Did you ever stop and think about what you were doing to my life? Destroying it, that’s what. Did it ever cross your selfish mind that I might like someone to love? A relationship? With a WOMAN? Because you’ve taken that from me, you see. My face isn’t covered in the photos. Everyone will know who I am. And by association, everyone will assume I’m gay, and.. And a father to three kids! Even if now, you say nothing’s happening, then I’m still not home free, because I’m then the bastard who broke Kurt Hummel’s heart and left him as a single parent. So thank you very much, Kurt. I help you find your feet with the kids, fall in love with them, give my whole life over to helping you out, and this is how you repay me.”

 

“Blaine....”

 

But I’m gone; out into the street, walking swiftly to the subway station, and I don’t let myself think of anything until I get back to my empty apartment. That is when I sit down and cry. 

 

My anger melts away, leaving fear and sadness in its place. My heart longs to be with Kurt; he owns it now. I’ve denied myself so many times, but my head is screaming the truth repeatedly. I’ve fallen for Kurt, and fallen hard. 

 

Cooper calls repeatedly, eventually I text him and promise to call him later, but less than thirty minutes later, the intercom goes. 

 

“Cooper, I told you, I’ll call later. Just leave me alone to smash my head into a brick wall, please.”

 

“I can’t do that.” 

 

Kurt.

 

I let him in. 

 

He surveys the small living room and even tinier kitchen off, and shakes his head when I invite him to sit down. I flop wearily onto the couch, aware that I look a blotchy, tearful mess while Kurt, in his electric blue jeans and gray sweater, looks sensational. 

 

“I just came to say I’m sorry.” His voice breaks my heart. It is laden with sadness and despair. “You were right. I didn’t think, I just ruined everything, and I’m sorry. I get the feeling that’ll never be enough, though. You asked if I’d thought about you wanting a relationship well...No. In all honesty, I’d come to think of us as a thing, I realize, and I know how wrong that sounds. I just...”

 

“Kurt, stop a moment.”

 

“No, I want you to hear this because... Ah.” He leans against the wall and wipes at his eyes. “Because...”

 

“No, Kurt, stop.” Getting to my feet, I go to him, and take his hands in mine. “If anyone needs to apologize, it’s me.”

 

“Blaine...”

 

“Do you ever stop?”

 

“I’m sorry. Go right ahead.” 

 

“I shouldn’t have gone off at you the way that I did. It was really, really wrong of me. None of those remarks were justified. I think... No. No. Truth time. I  _ know _ why I got so angry. It’s uh... It’s because all that you said in that interview... Everything that photo hinted at... I want it all to be true.” 

 

I wait. 

 

It takes a moment but then Kurt’s mouth falls open slightly, his eyes widen, and he swallows hard. “Excuse me?”

 

“I can’t stop thinking about you, Kurt. Wanting you. Wanting so much more than what we have. And I think that can’t be right, surely? But then I realize that I’ve never felt this way about anyone, male or female, in my whole life. You’re just... adorable, I think. And I’m so scared, Kurt. Scared of what that means for me, for us...the kids... but I just...” 

 

He bites his lip. 

 

Sliding one hand up into his hair, I move as close as I can. 

 

“Blaine? Are you sure?”

 

“No, but fuck it. I’m tired of running from this.” And finally, I bring my lips to his. 

 

The one, most gentle touch is all it takes. We both sigh, break for a fleeting second, and then the dam breaks. Surging forward, Kurt claims me in a deep and passionate kiss the like of which I’ve never experienced before. This is definitely new; fighting for dominance with someone; immediate arousal and heat from press of Kurt’s body against me and finally being allowed to touch. 

 

And I find that I want to, very much. 

 

Pinning him to the wall, I lift his leg, gripping his thigh before my hand moves back to his ass where I squeeze roughly. Kurt invades all of my senses, and for a moment, he relinquishes control, but being Kurt, he soon wants it back. We stumble slightly, and I grope around until I find the armchair. Tumbling back onto it, I pull him on top of me as we kiss and kiss, neither of us wanting to stop now that we’ve finally started. 

 

The feeling of finally giving into all my desires is threatening to overwhelm me, and Kurt seems as content with this inanely heavy, crazy making out as I am. Oddly enough, the feel of his erection grinding against mine only turns me on even more. I find myself gripping his hips, urging him to keep up the movement. 

 

He pulls back, just for a moment, and looks down at me. “My god, I’ve wrecked you,” he says, pleased, then crashes our lips together once more. It’s hot, it’s heavy, and it’s only going in one direction. When Kurt encourages my leg up and around his waist, I know this will all be over very suddenly. It’s been months of longing, want, desire and frustration, and now Kurt is doing exactly what I need him to do. 

 

“Oh holy shit I’m gonna spill in my fucking underwear,” he cries, and I can’t find the words to tell him I’m close, because his mouth is back on mine, and Kurt Hummel, gasping into my mouth as he comes, is the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. It sends me spiralling out of control and when he bites on my lower lip, I cry out loudly, and join him. 

 

We rock together slowly, still spread across the armchair in a tangled heap, and then there is silence and stillness. 

 

“ _ Now _ you’ve wrecked me,” I say into the peace, and Kurt laughs into my neck. 

 

“Well, you’ve ruined me and a thousand dollar pair of jeans so...” 

 

We lie there together, neither of us wanting to say more and make this moment real. 

 

In the end, it is Sam who shatters the peace, by jamming his key in the lock. I am up and over to the door in an instant, making sure it only opens a crack. “NO!” I cry at his confused face. “Go away. Come back later.”

 

“Dude. I just... What happened? On that show? Are you okay? You look kinda wild.” 

 

“Yeah, yes. Fine. I just...can you come back later? Please? Preferably when I’m not here?”

 

“Yeah, sure, I guess.” He shrugs. “Can you put my milk in the fridge though?”

 

“Sure.” I close the door in relief and lean against it, turning to Kurt. “Sorry.”

 

He sits in the armchair, trying to right his hair. “No it’s fine. I should go, I think.” 

 

“Oh hey... I don’t want things to be...”

 

“Weird?”

 

“Yes, but weird, weird. Not us weird. That’s a good weird, I think. But I don’t want a bad weird. That’d be...weird.” 

 

“I didn’t mean for that to happen. There. The thing that happened.”

 

“I kissed you.” 

 

He smiles softly, making my heart melt. “You did.” 

 

Kneeling in front of him, I frame his face with my hands. “I’d like to kiss you again, if that’s okay? Properly, this time.” 

 

He doesn’t reply, but brings his lips to mine, letting his eyes flutter closed as he does so. I feel him let out a little sigh and I don’t know why, but that soft, tiny noise, goes right to my heart and stays there. I kiss him again, letting my lips linger, and then Kurt opens his mouth wider under my touch, his fingers coming to the back of my neck to keep me in place. 

 

It’s sensational. 

 

I feel the tip of his tongue brushing against mine, feel his lips pressing harder, his body leaning closer, and I hold him tight against me, deepening the kiss until we gently part. 

 

“Well that’s kinda wow.”

 

Kurt lets out a breathy laugh, resting his forehead against mine for a moment. “I think I should go.”

 

“Huh?” Dazed, I pull back as Kurt gets to his feet. “Why?”

 

“I’ve just, you know, got things to do. I need to nap before I go to set, too.”

 

I get to my feet too, wincing at the unpleasant feeling in my pants. “Do you want some clean clothes?”

 

“No, it’s fine. I have the car, so I’ll just...”

 

“Kurt?” I reach out and take his hand. “Don’t you think we should talk about this?”

 

He stops, looks at the floor, and nods. “Yes, but I don’t want to.”

 

“Why?”

 

This time, he looks up, his eyes swimming in tears. “Because I’m really scared,” he admits. “I’ve been wanting, wishing,  _ waiting _ to kiss you for so long, and now we just... We went far too far, and I don’t even know how you feel about anything, how I feel, even. I just... I’m scared to hear you say you don’t want me like I want you.” 

 

“Kurt, literally the only thing I know right now is how I feel about you.” 

 

“Which is?” 

 

I pause, unable to find the courage to say all I want. “That I don't want anyone else to have you.” 

 

He smiles, but it's a sad smile, and he briefly cups my cheek. “That's not how it works.” 

 

“I know. I just... I want so much but then I doubt myself and get confused, and.... And I think the only thing I can do right now is ask for your patience, because I don't want to rush into something and then let you down. I couldn't do that to you. I don't want to hurt you, that much I do know.”

 

He nods. “I think that, on this occasion, I can be a little patient.”

 

“Really? Wow. Must try that again sometime.”

 

He smiles, and comes into my arms, holding me tight. “Rude. Come over later? Before I go to set.”

 

“Sure.” 

 

“Blaine, I have to... I mean, I’ll issue a statement, later. Clarifying everything.”

 

“No.”

 

He looks up in surprise. “What?”

 

“Don’t say anything, yet. Just... Can we just wait and see? I can’t see that your silence is going to make a huge amount of difference, is is?”

 

“Not to the fans, no. They assume we’re together and they still will if I parade someone new about town, or you marry some girl. We’ll always be linked. And that’s why I feel so bad about what I did. That interview? It’ll still be replayed in five, six years from now. As you said, by association, you’ll always be considered...not straight, at the very least.”

 

“Well, I don’t think I am.”

 

“Does that bother you?”

 

I take a deep breath. “I don’t know. It’s not something I’ve ever had to consider. I think I’ve had very strong feelings for you from the outset, but I didn’t acknowledge them because I couldn’t. I wasn’t aware of what they were, because you’re a guy. It’s uh... It’s been a sort of gradual process and now here we are.”

 

“It has been for me, too. I kept on thinking that I was just needing to get laid.”

 

I laugh at that. “Maybe that’s all it is?”

 

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Maybe.” 

 

But we both know it’s not, of course. 

 

When Kurt is gone I take a shower, and dress in one of the few remaining outfits I have at the apartment; the rest of my clothes and belongings are slowly making their way into Kurt’s house. Even my guitar is there, so I take a walk instead, winding up at the house where Cooper is working right now. He takes his lunch break the second he sees me coming down the street, and we sit in a small park watching a yoga class. 

 

“Dude! What the hell happened?”

 

“Uh, well, Kurt kinda forgot to deny that we weren’t in a relationship.” 

 

“That’s pretty low, to be honest. I mean, I like him, but the way he was in that interview? It’s not so much that he didn’t deny it, more that he really heavily implied that you were together.” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Is there a reason you’re not upset? I know you’re laid back, Blaine, but he’s kinda told the whole world you’re gay for him.”

 

“I think I am.”

 

“Say what now?”

 

I look him in the eye. “I think I... I think I am gay for him. Just Kurt, I mean. For some reason.”

 

“You’ve lost me. I’m lost. What does that even mean?”

 

“I kissed him.” 

 

Cooper shrugs. “Can’t say I’m surprised. You two are incestuously close.”

 

“Uh, no, that would be if we were related.”

 

“I know that, and I know what I mean. So it’s been going on all along, then?”

 

“No. That’s the point. Kurt didn’t deny it, because he wanted it to be true, and I can’t be mad at him for that, because I realized that I want it to be true, as well. And then I kissed him.”

 

“Just a kiss?”

 

“I’m not even going to begin to explain, but there was no shedding of clothes, put it that way.” 

 

“Groping?”

 

“Kinda. Now quit with that, and tell me what the hell I’m going to do.”

 

“I don’t know, Blaine. What do you want to do? What does Kurt want?”

 

“I have no idea. I asked him to be patient. He’s on night shoots all this week, and I have a gig Saturday. He flies to Vancouver Sunday.”

 

Cooper turns his attentions to the yoga class and we are silent for a long time. “Shit timing for everything. Okay,” he says eventually. “Okay. We’ll work it out.”

 

“I’m scared that if I decide to be with him, there’s no backing out.”

 

“Of being gay? Dude, you can sleep with who you want.”

 

“No, not that. The kids.”

 

“Oh shit. Yeah.”

 

“I couldn’t decide three months down the line that it wasn’t right. Bad enough that I’d break Kurt’s heart, but to do that to them would be awful.”

 

“I agree, but you’ve got to be true to yourself, Blaine. Just remember that.” 

 

I take myself back to Kurt’s place later in the afternoon, and Polly and Quinn disappear almost immediately. Kurt is sleeping, so I take the time to play with the kids, building Lego and trying to stop Joshua from eating it all. 

 

All three kids are more clingy than usual, and Alice can’t fathom why Kurt won’t be sleeping in the house tonight, no matter how hard I try to explain. 

 

“I’ll be here.”

 

“I know, Bane. You live here.”

 

“Uh no, I don’t.”

 

“You do,” she decides. 

 

Maggie cuts in. “Kurt says your apartment is small.”

 

“Does he now?”

 

“That’s what he did say to Quinn. Blaine’s apartment is small, and then Quinn did say something and he telled her to be quiet.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Is Kurtie mad at us?” Alice asks. “Is that why he won’t sleep here anymore? Is he mad at you?”

 

“No! I told you, Alice. He has to work.”

 

“Only Santa works at night. And the tooth fairy.”

 

“Whatever. Look, he’s not here tonight but I am, okay?”

 

“Promise?” Maggie asks, her eyes wide and questioning. “Because mommy left and daddy did die and I didn’t like aunt Sara.”

 

“I promise. Either Kurt or I will always be here for you, you know. Even if it’s Polly looking after you, or Quinn, Kurt is still...”

 

“Like our daddy but not really our daddy.”

 

“Exactly,” I say brightly, figuring that’s close enough. 

 

“And you’re like our daddy too.”

 

“Um...”

 

“That’s right,” Kurt suddenly says, and for some reason, the sight of him, still pink-cheeked from sleep, standing in the doorway saying such a sweet thing, makes me want to cry. 

 

“Kurtie!”

 

To see them all running to him for kisses and cuddles only makes me even more emotional and I step out to the conservatory for a moment to compose myself. 

 

“You doing okay?”

 

“Not really, no,” I tell Kurt, and I’m grateful that for now he stays stood behind me while I pick out a tune on the piano. It’s easier not to look at him. “That song was for you, you know. The one you liked.”

 

“The one about the blue eyes?”

 

“Yeah. I wrote it before I even realized it was you I was thinking of. I thought it was Cooper.” I laugh. It seems absurd now. “Then when I had finished, the whole damn thing was about how much I wanted to tell you my feelings, but I just couldn’t.”

 

“You still can’t.” 

 

“Good point.” 

 

He slides onto the piano bench next to me. “Look, Blaine, I’ve made some kind of decision, I think.”

 

“Don’t make me leave.”

 

“No, I’m not going to do that. But I’m not going to initiate anything, as much as I’d like to. I don’t know if that will help you, or not, but it’ll certainly help me, and I need to be a little selfish here. So while I still want you around, still need you, I also need you to know that I won’t kiss you, hold you, anything.”

 

“Ever?”

 

He smiles. “I didn’t say that. It’s part of my waiting, I guess. If you decide that you want something to happen, then....well, you know. But it’s not going to be me who does anything.” 

 

I lean in, and softly kiss his lips. He lets me. “Kurt? Can I be really honest for a moment?”

 

“Am I gonna like it?”

 

“I don’t know, but I also don’t know how to tell this to anyone else.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Setting emotions aside for a moment, I find you insanely hot. Like... I think of you when I’m...”

 

“Oh my god don’t say it. That is too much.”

 

“Sorry.” 

 

“Flattering, and...yeah, but please don’t say it out loud.” He blushes hard, and it’s the cutest thing. 

 

“So anyway, I’m okay with that, you know? I was okay with earlier; all that happened. I mean, it was rushed, and desperate, but I wanted it. And when I think of you, it’s like... like I want you so bad, you know?”

 

“Hell yes I know.”

 

“But for you, you probably know _ what _ you want, right? As in, you must know, or think, what you’d like to do with me. Whereas I can’t get that far. I want you. I know that. You’re hot as hell and you drive me crazy with lust, but then when I think of us going any step further, it’s like there’s this mental block there, and I can’t get past it. And I hate myself for that, because I’d like to think I’m a pretty open-minded, liberal kind of guy. I mean, is that normal?”

 

“Um, well, I don’t know, is the honest answer. I do know that I can’t picture myself with a woman, and I’ve seen hetro porn and sex scenes on TV and it leaves me cold. Like they could be talking about the weather or showing me a pair of breasts, I have the same level of interest, so if I had to think of giving pleasure to a woman, I’d find that really difficult.” 

 

“But have you ever been attracted to a woman?”

 

“No.”

 

“And am I sexually attracted to you, or am I just attracted to the idea of a family and the ease of being with you?”

 

“I don’t know, Blaine.” Kurt sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. “I think that only you can figure that out, and it’d be unfair of me to try and influence your decision.” 

 

“If I decide that I can’t do this...can’t be with you the way you want, what then?”

 

“Blaine, I’m not asking anything from you. If you decide we’re better as friends, then friends it is. I want you in my life, and in the kid’s lives, in one way or another. I could sit here now and tell you a million things that I think, or feel, but I won’t, because I don’t think it’s fair. I’ll just say this; I’m a pretty strong guy when I need to be, and I’ll survive, whatever happens between us. My main issue is that I don’t want the kids mislead, or upset, hurt, because neither of us would want to be the cause of that.”

 

“No.” I lean in again, but he pulls back. 

 

“Come on. Let’s step away from all this for a moment. We can get dinner, watch a movie, then get them to bed before I head out, what do you say?”

 

I smile brightly, because what else can I do? “Of course. And by the way,” I add as we head to the kitchen. “My apartment is small?” 

  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Kurt**

 

Though I don’t enjoy night shoots, it turns out that right now, it’s the best possible thing that could have happened. It gives me time to think, time to be apart from Blaine and time to attempt to figure out exactly what I do want from life. 

 

I spend any spare time on set, calling my dad, who pretty much throws his own sleep schedule out the window in favor of listening to me whine, complain, worry, and wonder over whether Blaine will ever want me or not. 

 

“I don’t think it’s a question of whether he wants you,” my dad tells me over and over. “I’m sure he does. Boy’s mad for you; it was written all over his face from the moment I met him. The question is, whether he can let go of all his hang-ups and be with you the way you want.”

 

“I think we could make it work,” I say, seeing a small glimmer of hope. “I mean, if he didn’t feel comfortable with whatever, you know, physical stuff, we could be like companions, kind of thing.”

 

“Kurt, you’re not even thirty and you’re giving up sex? I don’t think so, sunshine. And actually, I think Blaine is focusing on that as a way to avoid focusing on what his real issue is.”

 

“And what might that be?”

 

“Those kids.” 

 

“He loves them!”

 

“Exactly. And you know Blaine, Kurt. He’s a considerate, kind, loving guy. Sure he might have a few hangups over whether sex with a guy might freak him out, but the issue here really is that he needs to be certain of his feelings for you before he jumps. My guess is that while he’d be beside himself if he ever hurt you, if he ever hurt them, he’d never get over it.”

 

Dad is right, of course. I watch Blaine carefully when I see him over the next few days. He is devoted to the kids, and boy do they love him hard in return. They’re good kids, and they obviously enjoy being with Polly and even with Quinn, but when Blaine is on the scene, they really do appear to be like his own kids, and I get why he wouldn’t want to risk complicating all of that. 

 

Then there’s Blaine and I. I feel his eyes on me everywhere I move. I sense the need he has to kiss me, to hold me, and yet I resist. We’ve been doing this dance for too long, now, and while we used to laugh about us being weird, now it’s become an uncomfortable issue, to the point where I leave for set right after putting Maggie to bed so that I can avoid being alone with him. We’re either going to end up together or completely apart, I realize. There can be no more of this weird in between. 

 

The night shoots begin to take their toll; however hard I try I can’t sleep for more than a few hours during the daytime, and by Thursday, I feel like I’ve been ten rounds with Mike Tyson when I wake up at eleven, after just three hours sleep. I stagger downstairs, in need of Tylenol to end this raging headache, only to hear Blaine at the piano and to find Cooper sitting in the office with Joshua on his lap. He looks up at me and grins. 

 

“Hey there.” 

 

“Hi.” 

 

“So, your phone was like, going crazy,” he says happily. “And Quinn’s not here today. Everyone wants interviews, quotes, whatever. I told USA Today and People to fuck off, but I didn’t use those words. Any of the tabloid press I told no comment, and then New York Magazine are getting back to me. They wanted an interview about the show and your personal life, and I told them you’d only talk about the show. Uh... what else? Oh yeah. New York Times are sending over a list of questions for you to approve. They promised they wouldn’t ask anything personal so I said we’ll review the questions and confirm, but I did add that the interview might have to be done via skype or phone since you’re so busy. Street Cred, whoever they are, want you to do some modelling for them, I gave them Quinn’s info, and then Homme clothing want you in for a shoot for their Fall line. Again, I directed them to Quinn.” 

 

Stunned, I sit down in the chair opposite. “Wow. Do you want a job?”

 

He laughs loudly. “Nah, dude! I fit kitchens!”

 

“But you’re not doing that today?”

 

“Finished one yesterday, new one tomorrow. Figured I’d visit. Is that okay?”

 

“Of course it’s okay. You’re always welcome. Is Blaine not working at all this week?”

 

“He’s been given a leave of absence for a few weeks. I think I’m gonna take a few days next week and we’ll go up to mom and dad. Maybe take the kids?”

 

“You don’t have to. Polly will be here while I’m away. It’s no trouble to ask her to stay over for a few nights.”

 

“I think Blaine would like to take them,” Cooper says as gently as he can. “I think he likes being responsible for them.” 

 

“Does he?”

 

Cooper says nothing, just raises one eyebrow and I get up and follow the sound of the music. Blaine sits with Maggie by his side and Alice on his lap, while Polly sits in the corner, listening to them play. It surprises me to see Alice playing a simple melody while Maggie plays underneath; I hadn’t realized that Blaine was teaching her, and I certainly wasn’t aware of the progress Maggie was making. 

 

“What smart girls,” I say when the song is over, and they both beam. “Blaine, you need a payrise.”

 

“Kurt, you haven’t paid me since the end of my second week.” 

 

“What?”

 

He shrugs, then laughs. “I haven’t exactly been coming for the cash, have I?”

 

“Why have you, then?”

 

“For us!” Maggie cries, and she throws her arms around Blaine’s neck and squeezes tight. “Blaine comes to see us! That’s why he almost lives here and should live here, because you say his apartment is small.” 

 

“I’m not getting into that again.” 

 

Blaine laughs loudly and for a moment, everything is easier. “So Alice tells me it's her birthday soon. Is that true?”

 

“It’s uh... oh wow. Yes. Yes it is. A little over three weeks.”

 

“Telled you, Bane,” she says smugly. 

 

“Yes you did. But you also told me there was a Zebra in the playroom and that turned out to be not true.” 

 

She frowns. “It was a little bit true, because I wanted there to be a Zebra in the playroom.”

 

“Right.” He looks up at me and winks. “Guess we know what Alice is getting for her birthday, then.”

 

“Not a chance.”

 

“You’re up early, anyway.” 

 

“Can’t sleep.”

 

“Well since you’re here.... I have another gig Saturday, if you’d like to come?”

 

“Oh.” I can’t help the worry that comes with the thought of being seen out in public with Blaine again. “I don’t think I can, actually. Getting a sitter and all of that...”

 

“I’ll sit!” Polly is in there like a flash, and for a moment I wonder if it’s all been planned out between the two of them. “You need a night out, Kurt, it’ll do you good.”

 

“Yeah but I fly to Vancouver the next day, so...”

 

“Not until midday,” she smugly points out, and I know I’m cornered. 

 

“Fine. I’ll be there.” 

 

And then begins our dance of avoidance; as if by not seeing or really speaking to one another, we can make out like everything is fine. In essence, it is. We talk about, or to, the kids and nothing else. We can joke, be free and easy with one another and it’s as if we were back to the beginning again. Only, we’re not at the beginning, we’re way past that now, with far too much water under the bridge. 

 

We both notice our mutual avoidance, of course, and keep it firmly in place in order that we might make it to Saturday and actually be able to go to the gig without feeling as if the world is about to implode. The trouble is, that there are a lot of well-meaning people who think we need to talk all this out, Cooper being one of them. 

 

He’s right. 

 

“Get out,” he demands when he arrives on Saturday morning. “Leave. Take Blaine.”

 

“What? I’ve not been to sleep yet.”

 

“So? I’ve got three hours, Kurt, before I need to go see a woman about a dog.”

 

“What are you on about?”

 

“I have a date,” he snaps. “So I need to be gone from here by twelve. Take Blaine, go get coffee, and I’ll watch the brood.”

 

“Is that entirely safe?”

 

“Probably not. Blaine!” He hollers up the stairs then runs up them and knocks on his door. “You’re going out for coffee with Kurt.” 

 

We’re thrust out into the bright summer sunlight before either of us really know what is happening, and the paparazzi are mercifully absent owing to some event taking place across town. Blaine looks up and down the street, shrugs, then takes my hand. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Why not?” he asks. “I’ve missed you.” 

 

Holding his hand feels so right, so wonderful, that I can’t protest even though I probably should. Instead, we walk contentedly together towards the park, where we get coffee and find the quietest place possible to sit overlooking the water. 

 

“So Cooper said you might go visit your parents?”

 

“Is that okay?”

 

“It’s fine. It’ll be nice for the kids to see them again. At least you’ll have the bed to yourself, right?”

 

“Nope. Cooper’s coming. The girls will have his bed, so I have to suffer him in with me.” 

 

“Oh. Ha! I forgot.”

 

“I’d rather it was you.” 

 

I close my eyes. “Don’t, Blaine, please.”

 

“Sorry. You’re right, that’s not fair. I apologize.”

 

“I have to ask, did you think anymore?”

 

“Constantly. God, Kurt, you think I don’t torture myself continuously? I’ve been lying awake at night, trying to figure everything out, and I just...”

 

“What is it, Blaine? What scares you so much?”

 

“Everything,” he answers honestly. “The depth of my feelings for you, the worry that you might not feel the same. The worry over whether I can get past certain hang-ups, the pure terror I feel over us getting together and then breaking up. The kids, your lifestyle, what I’d do, how I’d live, whether I could cope with the attention, knowing I’ll always be considered the failure, always playing second fiddle to your glittering career. The fact that I’m so deeply involved with you, your life, your family, and that I can’t in any way imagine a life without you. The thought of you meeting someone else.... All of it, Kurt. Every last thing. I’m not brave, I’m not reckless. I’m sensible, I make calculated, logical decisions and there is no logic here at all. Not one damn bit. I know I need to confront it; take the plunge one way or the other, but at the same time, I want to just sit and watch The Bachelor with you, like we used to.” 

 

“Same.”

 

He stops, surprised. “Yeah?”

 

I lean my head onto his shoulder and lace our fingers together. “Yeah. And just so you know? You are not a failure, at all.”

 

“I work in Home Depot, Kurt. My apartment is junk.”

 

“You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. You rescued me, when I thought my life was ruined. You helped me to fall in love with three little people, and along the way, I think you might have fallen in love with them too. They’re happy, safe, secure, and full of love for everyone who’s come into their lives because of you, Blaine. You’ve opened up a world of wonderful music for Maggie and Alice, and though both of them use it in different ways, it’s an incredible thing for you to have given to them. It helps Maggie, to escape, to focus on the piano instead of her existence, and little Alice wouldn’t be without the joy of it all. You’ve done all of that, Blaine. Not me, or Polly, or anyone else. You.” 

 

He takes a deep breath, trying to hold it all together in public, and then he squeezes my hand. “Thank you,” he whispers, looking down at our fingers. “Thank you for always being my biggest fan.”

 

“Well, I assume you’re mine too, so...”

 

“Hmm, I don’t know. Marc seemed pretty hell bent on gaining that crown.” 

 

“Ooooh Blaine. You did not!”

 

“I did.” 

 

“Fine,” I say, mimicking Marc to make him laugh. It works. 

 

“Fine,” he repeats, then dares to kiss me on the cheek. “Sorry. I know you said none of that, but you’re adorable when you smile like that.”

 

“I’ll allow it. Will you play a song for me tonight?”

 

“Always, Kurt. Always.” 

 

Blaine doesn’t play the song he wrote for me, that night. In fact, he spends a lot of the evening sharing the stage with Sam. It’s not that I don’t like Sam, or think he’s a good performer, but I’d rather listen to just Blaine on his own, and I tell Cooper that much during one of the songs. 

 

“He said he’d give me a private concert sometime. I’ll have to take him up on that.”

 

Cooper chokes on his beer. “Do that, Kurt, and you’ll be naked on that piano within ten minutes.”

 

“I will not!”

 

“Trust me,” he says, still laughing. “Blaine has it bad.”

 

“Um, he kinda doesn’t,” I insist, blushing in the dim light. “That’s something he’s trying to figure out right now.”

 

“Kurt, my darling boy. When Blaine’s away from it all, away from you, he stops and thinks about it and it seems weird. ANY sex seems weird when you think about it in a detached kinda way, but you only have to look his way and he’s sizing you up. He’s my brother, I know what he’s thinking.”

 

“IF, and I really mean IF, he and I did get together, what do you think your parents would say?”

 

“Hmm. That’s difficult. Mama would probably start asking if the kids could call her grandma, I expect, and daddy would most likely try to lecture Blaine about respecting you and your body.”

 

“Oh. Right. So they’d be okay with it?”

 

“They’d be over the damn moon. So would I. But it’s not about us, sadly.”

 

“It’s not about me, either, I don’t think.” I sigh, and turn my attentions back to Blaine, strumming his guitar as Sam sings. “I think it’s about one very confused man trying to make sense of it all.” 

 

Santana and Dani arrive and I’m glad, because the temptation to bombard Cooper with endless questions is overwhelming. She teases, of course, about the interview, and asks if we’ve spent all week fucking, but I know she knows everything, because when Blaine takes his break, she quickly calls Sam over to the table and gently suggests I go find Blaine. 

 

He’s in the same tiny little corridor as before, and I wedge myself in next to him. He quickly wipes his eyes and smiles. “Good crowd, huh? I mean, they seem appreciative. Did you get recognized? Any hassle? You can go, if you want, don’t feel like you...” He stops, studying my face intently. “Oh Kurt,” he says quietly, and then we’re kissing. I’m unable to say who moved first; possibly we both moved together, but it feels wonderfully, wonderfully right, and I know Blaine gets that vibe too. We’re more restrained than we were the first time we kissed; more tender, loving, and soft. It’s almost like we’re unable to part but eventually we do, of course, and I see it all come crashing down immediately. 

 

Blaine blinks, and drops his head. Then, turning his back on me, he rubs his hands over his face. “Sorry. Shit. Sorry. I don’t know what... Sorry.” He turns back around, and hugs me hard. “Sorry.” 

 

“Blaine...”

 

“I can’t do this, Kurt. I can’t.”

 

“You can’t do what, exactly? We haven’t even established what we both want, because you won’t tell me! There’s some insane, and I mean really crazy, level of attraction here, but you seem to be horribly offended because I have a dick.”

 

“No, that’s...”

 

“It is! Tell me, then, Blaine. Tell me how you feel. Go on!” 

 

“I...” He shakes his head. “I’ll play you a song,” he says, and then he hurries back on stage, leaving Sam to rush back to his side. 

 

He waits until the end of the set, until Sam is back at our table, and then he sits at the piano and clears his throat. “One more from me, tonight. For um... For the most incredible person I know.” 

 

I could’ve listed a hundred song possibilities, but when Blaine starts up with Save Me, by Queen, everyone sits in a stunned silence. Blaine’s playing is sensational; his vocals raw. Those words etch onto my heart, and each one cuts like a knife. 

 

“Save me, save me, save me, I can’t face this life alone.”

 

Under the table, Santana finds my hand, and if she hadn’t, I’d have ran. As it is, I sit there, tears rolling down my cheeks, unable to even contemplate what it is Blaine and I truly feel for one another. 

 

“I’ll love you, ‘til I die.”

 

Blaine brings the song to a close, unsurprisingly to rapturous applause, but I remain seated. I let the adulation flow around me, let the girls line up for selfies with him, grateful that it isn’t me this time. I stay in the shadows, and finally, Blaine comes to me, his eyes filled with tears. 

 

“I think I’m really messed up.” 

 

“I think you’re perfect, but I do think we need to talk. Let’s go home.”   

 

The silence for our journey home is excruciating, and a stark difference to the giggling, drunken cab journey we had shared last time. When I open the front door, Blaine immediately disappears, leaving me to say goodnight to Polly and make small talk until her cab arrives. The minutes take hours to go by, but eventually, it is just Blaine and I alone, and I find him at the piano. 

 

Blaine is always beautiful, to me, but perhaps never more so than when he’s playing. I can’t resist resting my hands on his shoulders and kissing into his hair, and when he lifts his face up, eyes closed, I lean down and kiss his lips softly. 

 

“I’m sorry I’m such a massive letdown,” he says, continuing to play. “I feel like erasing myself and my whole life right now.”

 

“Because you have a crush on a guy?”

 

He frowns. “Because I’m so scared.” 

 

“I think it’s understandable. I can’t pretend I like it, but I do understand.” 

 

“Why are you being so patient?”

 

“I think you know why.” 

 

He gives a bitter, tight smile. “I wanted to have an answer for you before you went to Vancouver. I wanted to have everything sorted out in my head.”

 

“But?”

 

“But it’s more confused than ever. There’s so much I want to say to you, Kurt. I just need to find the words to say it.”

 

“You will. I’ll tell you one thing, though, If I can?”

 

He stops playing and turns to face me, and I kneel down in front of him. “Only you can save yourself, Blaine. You don’t have to live this life alone, but you have to decide what it is you want. I can’t be a part-time lover, a best friend with benefits. I can be all or nothing.”

 

He nods, and fixes those beautiful eyes on mine. “I know.”

 

I wait, but there’s nothing else forthcoming and so, with a heavy heart, I take myself from the room and upstairs to bed, where I lie for over two hours staring up at the ceiling. I hear Blaine coming up the stairs, hear him taking his shower, and then I realize he’s probably doing the same, just down the hall; lying there, waiting for time to pass. 

 

“Blaine?”

 

He lies on his side, his back to the door, and though he doesn’t answer, he does lift the duvet, inviting me in. Closing the door quietly, I spoon myself around him, pressing my bare chest against his back. I feel him shudder. 

 

“Tell me to go,” I whisper, my lips brushing his hair. 

 

But his only response is to pull my right arm tighter around his waist, keeping me in place. With Blaine in only a small pair of boxer shorts, and me just wearing pyjama pants, it’s impossible not to notice the longing between us. Just the steady, rhythmic sound of his breathing gets me going, and I feel myself growing hard no matter how desperately I mentally try to stop it. 

 

I feel him twitching, his body growing tense, and I make to pull back, but again, he pulls me closer, and this time, he moves my hand lower, encouraging me to palm over his erection. 

 

There are a million and one reasons why I should stop this, why we should both be adult and realize this is not a good thing to be happening, but there’s one reason why we can’t; because we want each other so desperately that it’s impossible to ignore. 

 

Dropping a kiss to his shoulder, I do as he directed, and I’m rewarded with the release of a long, shaking breath. I know he can feel me, equally as aroused, pressed tight against him, and I dare to be bold, slipping my hand inside of his underwear. 

 

Screwing his eyes shut, Blaine gasps, and then bites the edge of the pillow, which in turn, drives me crazy. My cock is straining rigid in my pants, and I have Blaine in my hand, working him over, but I still find it within myself to say “We shouldn’t...”

 

He turns, catching me in a deep, burning kiss as he fumbles to push his own underwear down followed by my pyjamas. “Want you,” he murmurs against my lips. “Oh god, Kurt, I want you so bad. It’s you. It’s always gonna be you.” 

 

His hand closes around me, and his words become something that I dwell on later, because the intense pleasure I feel can surely only be because this is Blaine, and not anyone else. He isn’t perfect; why would he be when he’s trying to mirror something he’s only ever done to himself? But he is hot, wanting, willing, and for this moment, mine. 

 

Again we are rushed, and again we choose to chase our impending orgasms instead of taking our time to savor the occasion, but maybe it’s what we both need right now. It’s certainly what we both want. Our knuckles bang together as we struggle to keep up our pace and make out at the same time, and when Blaine moves his lips to my neck and bites there, I know I’m finished. 

 

I give no warning, and it happens just as Blaine kisses me again, meaning my yell is muffled, thank goodness.  Blaine gasps as he feels my wetness on his hand and also running down his cock. 

 

“Oh shit!” He looks down, unable to see anything in the darkness, but he knows it's there and it drives him wild. “Kurt that’s so hot. So... Kurt.... Oh, Kurt.”

 

And yes, I’m elated that he calls my name as he comes, happier still that he pulls me close, into a sticky, sweaty mess, and I feel like my heart might burst when, a good five minutes later, he gently cleans us both, then kisses my cheek. 

 

“You look completely wild.”

 

Pulling my pyjama pants on, I try to laugh, but it’s not forthcoming. “It’s dark, how can you tell?”

 

“Because the height of your hair is insane, and your cheeks are all hot.”

 

I bring one had to the back of his neck and kiss his lips. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“Oh no you don’t, Hummel.” He slides back under the cover and holds his arm out. “Get in.” 

 

I shouldn’t sleep there, but I do, and wrapped tight in Blaine’s arms, no less. We sleep soundly, and are only woken by the arrival of Maggie and Alice, who both yell their surprise at finding me in Blaine’s bed. 

 

“You had a sleepover!” Maggie says, climbing on top of me. 

 

“With cuddles,” Alice adds, sliding under the cover between the both of us. “‘Lo, Bane. ‘Lo, Kurtie.” 

 

“Hi, Alice.” I can’t help but find them amusing, and after kissing them both, I run across the hall to fetch Joshua, who seems equally as pleased that we’re all in the same bed. 

 

“Blaine, Kurt gives good cuddles, don’t he?” Alice asks, and I turn to him with a smile. It quickly fades, though, when I see Blaine looking up at the ceiling, utterly stricken with guilt and fear. 

 

“I don’t know what... why...” he starts, then pulls himself out of bed as quick as a flash. “I gotta go, kids. I’ll be back later. Be good.”

 

Pulling on his clothes from the night before, he doesn’t even look at me as he kisses each of the kids goodbye. 

 

“Good luck in Vancouver,” he mumbles, and then he tears down the stairs and is gone. 

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Blaine**

 

“So how was it left?”

 

“I said good luck in Vancouver.”

 

“And that was it?”

 

I shrug. “He was gone when I came back that evening.” 

 

Cooper reaches out, and hits me over the back of the head as I drive. “Idiot.”

 

“What am I going to do, Coop?”

 

“You’re going to not talk about it while there are young ears listening, that’s what. We’ll discuss it more tonight. Hey, kids, Blaine tells me you’re a regular Von Trapp family. How about we do some singing?”

 

I’m glad I have Cooper with me, because it stops me from falling apart whenever the kids mention Kurt, which has been every five minutes, it seems. They miss him, which is entirely understandable, and they’re too small to grasp the concept of going to Vancouver with Quinn this weekend to visit. Maggie is confused about a lot of things that she seemed to understand perfectly the week before, such as why school is out for summer, and why she will have a new teacher when she returns. Alice has taken to wetting the bed at night, something she had long stopped doing, and Joshua seems to be making no effort to walk anymore, when he was right on the brink before Kurt left, happily toddling along holding our fingers. 

 

It’s only been seventy two hours without Kurt, but my heart aches, my head aches, and I regret all of my actions on the morning of his departure. I have yet to tell Cooper the full story, since Alice often repeats everything I say, but I did tell him that we woke up in the same bed and then I ran away. 

 

I know as soon as we pull up at my parent’s house that this is going to be an emotional visit, because when my dad appears on the porch, I bow my head onto the steering wheel, and cry. It is left to Cooper to get the kids out of the car, distracting them with talk of cookies and milk. 

 

“Oh come now.” My dad helps me from the car. “Come on.” 

 

“I’m so messed up, daddy.” 

 

“I don’t think you are, Blaine. I think you just need to find some courage, that’s all. Come along. Let’s get you all cheered up and then we can talk tonight when your angels are sleeping.” 

 

I do make sure to engage with everyone for the rest of the day, but I know I am distant at times, too, watching from the periphery. Cooper resurrects the old swing in the yard, and my dad drives to Target and buys a wading pool. I snap photos of the kids all afternoon, and I even get in the little pool to help Joshua splash in the water. While dinner is cooking, I send the photos to Kurt, who, to my surprise, replies right away. 

 

_ You made me cry.  _

 

That panics me, and I thrust the phone under Cooper’s nose. “What does that mean? When did I make him cry? Today, or Sunday morning?”

 

“Both, I’d imagine, but I think he’s referring to the photos.”

 

“What if he’s not, though?”

 

“For god’s sake, Blaine, just call the man.” 

 

“Nope.” 

 

_ Sorry _ , I text back. _ But they are beautiful pictures, right? _

 

_ We have beautiful kids.  _

 

I certainly don’t know what I should reply to that, but Cooper keeps rolling his eyes and sighing heavily, so I give in, and facetime instead. 

 

“Hey.” 

 

“Hey.” Kurt smiles, but boy does he look tired and emotional, as if he’s one kind word away from being pushed over the edge. 

 

“How’s it going?”

 

“It’s uh... It’s long. Sixteen hours yesterday. I’ve already done fourteen today and I don’t think we’ll be done anytime soon.” 

 

“Wow. Is it quiet? I mean, fans, press...”

 

“There are fans, but they’re kept really far back. I did go over and sign yesterday. Just ignored the ones who were asking about you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“I think you’re gaining your own fanbase.” 

 

“Oh Lord no.” 

 

He laughs, then rests his chin on his palm. “You look sad, Blaine.” 

 

“I am.”

 

“Don’t be.” 

 

“I was so cruel, that morning. I shoulda....”

 

“KURTIE!” Alice comes in like a barrage; leaping over the back of the couch, landing on Cooper, and seizing the phone from my hand. “Kurtie I miss you. And we did get a pool and Joshy splashed everywhere and Maggie did play the Puff song all on her own for not-really grandma, and she said it was the best Puff song ever!”

 

“Wow, baby girl, that’s quite a lot of information there!” He laughs, and blows a kiss. “I miss you so, so much! Oh but hey, on Saturday, Quinn is going to get on an airplane with you, and bring you to visit! How great is that? And you know what else? I don’t have to work on Sunday so the whole day is ours.” 

 

“And Bane comes?”

 

Kurt’s face falls, but he quickly composes himself. “Not this time, sweetie.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

Distraction arrives in the form of Joshua, who has heard Kurt’s voice from the next room and come to find him. I pull him onto my lap and he kicks and squeals, then drools all over the phone. “Papa!”

 

“There’s Kurt!” I exclaim, kissing his cheek. “Can you say hi Kurt?”

 

“Papa!”

 

“Say hi!” 

 

“Hi, Papa!” 

 

Joshua will not be swayed, and no matter how many times both Kurt and I try to get him to say “Kurt,” he is insistent on saying Papa; his only clear and very concise word thus far. 

 

“Joshy, can you say Alice?” Kurt asks him, and Joshua points at her. “Isss.” 

 

“And what about Maggie?”

 

“Gone.” 

 

“Cooper?”

 

He points at him, and grabs a fistful of his hair for good measure, making us all laugh. “And Blaine?” 

 

Joshua kisses me, giggles, and then tries to kiss the phone once more. “Papa!”

 

“What in the hell? Blaine, did you teach him that?” 

 

“No, I swear! I don’t know where he’s got it from. TV, maybe?”

 

“It’s not funny, Blaine, or cute. Make him stop.”

 

“I swear, Kurt, I didn’t teach him that! He’s picked it up from somewhere.”

 

“I don’t see how. He’s not a year old until next month. Random child.”

 

“Well, he has Alice as a sister, so...” 

 

Kurt laughs, but he looks even closer to tears now. Then I hear Maggie coming so I pass the phone over and leave them to it. Talking to Kurt is so wonderful, even if I didn’t get to apologize for my behavior. It thrills me to hear Joshua calling Kurt his papa; whether Kurt likes it or not.

 

My own father finds me, as soon as I’ve closed the girl’s bedroom door, and guides me to the kitchen table, where he hands me a glass of wine and then sits next to me and covers his hand with his own. 

 

“You want mama and Cooper in here?”

 

“I think I need all the help I can get.”

 

“Right here,” Cooper announces, clearly having been lurking. He and my mom sit opposite, waiting patiently, and my sweet, dear, gente dad encourages me to explain from the beginning. 

 

“Oh gosh. I guess I just met Kurt, and I thought he was a jerk, and not very nice to his kids. Then suddenly he was on his own with them, and I ended up helping him out, and we just hit it off. He’s...captivating. The more time I spend with him, the more time I want to spend with him, you know? The kids are also a major thing; I love them to death and I was always ambivalent towards kids. Kurt and I developed this lifestyle... we were so close, so happy. And we were...are... both parenting them as best we can. Then gradually I realized my feelings for him weren’t entirely platonic, but I thought I was confused. Likewise, he thought the same, and then that article, those photos...I didn’t lie, daddy. Nothing was going on other than our infatuation with each other, but we looked like lovers. That’s what the whole world saw, and so Kurt went on TV to deny it. Only he couldn’t; we both wanted it to be true, and since then, we’ve been all kinds of messed up.” 

 

“Blaine, can I ask, have you two been sleeping together recently?”

 

“No. Well... I mean, kinda.”

 

“Because you know, Blaine, you’re both adults, and obviously Kurt is a man, but you still need to respect him, and respect his body.”

 

“Dad! I’m not gonna... Please don’t give me that talk.” 

 

“The horse has bolted, daddy,” Cooper says. “Nakedness has been involved. Interestingly, I said to Kurt that you’d give Blaine that talk.”

 

“Coop! You’re my brother, man! You’re supposed to be on my side.”

 

“I am on your side, fool, which is why I’ve been talking to Kurt about you, to try and give some insight into what you might be feeling.”

 

“Well please, tell me, because I sure as hell don’t know.”

 

“Blaine, darling, forgive me,” my mom says. “But I don’t see the problem? When you were both here, I could see that you’re in love with him, and he with you. So what’s the issue?”

 

“There’s too many issues, that’s what it is! I don’t want to have photographers in my face every five minutes. I don’t want to take Santana out to lunch and have speculation over who the mystery woman is! I don’t want to feed the press structured at home photo shoots of Kurt and I in order that they don’t publish pictures of the kids. I don’t want them hounded. I don’t want them victims of Kurt’s success.”

 

“They are anyway,” Cooper points out. “Because whether you and Kurt get together or not, they’re his kids. Or they most likely will be, anyway. But you know what? I’d say they’d much rather have a famous papa than be living with an aunt that abuses them, wouldn’t you?”

 

“Yes, of course, and they’re overcoming that. I realize he can offer them more, but...”

 

“But they’re his,” Cooper stresses. “That’s what’s got you, isn’t it?”

 

“I’d die,” I whisper sadly. I let my tears fall as I speak. “If Kurt and I made a go of this, and then six months, a year... five years down the line, we can’t do it anymore, I’d lose everything. And what would that do to them?”

 

“They’d have two parents who loved them very much, whom no longer lived together, that’s all,” my dad tells me. “It happens a lot, Blaine.”

 

“But what if it was an awful breakup? If he said I couldn’t see them...”

 

“That’s why you have family and friends, darling. We’d help you, Cooper would, Kurt’s dad would... We’d help both of you to ensure their little lives weren’t disrupted, and that you two could both see them.” 

 

“It’s too much,” I moan. “Too many what-if’s. Too much pressure not to argue or disagree. Kurt and I are very different, not to mention the one major issue, which is that he’s a guy!”

 

“Couples argue, they fight, it’s life.” 

 

“You and dad don’t,” I tell mama. “Not ever.”

 

“Oh but we do. We have small, insignificant disagreements, and full-blown, major fights where we struggle to be in the same room as one another for the next three days. The biggest thing is how you handle it. There will be ups and there will be downs but you know what? For every down you have, there will be a hundred more ups, at least, and every struggle, every fight, every time you have to work at your relationship that much harder just to keep it going, it’ll always be worth it. I’m not you, Blaine, none of us are, but I can say that all three of us feel that you two are made for each other. And yes, it’s a bit of a surprise to discover that your soulmate is a man, but at the end of the day, all that really matters is whether you will ever feel complete, if you don’t at least try.” 

 

My dad pats my hand. “Blaine, do you have physical desire for Kurt? I mean, I appreciate this is an awkward subject for you, but it’s an important aspect of any relationship.” 

 

“Too late, dad,” Cooper says. “Nakedness has happened, I told you.” 

 

“Yeah, I do. I thought maybe I didn’t. Or that maybe I wouldn’t be able to go through with everything. At first it was just I wanted to kiss him, you know? He feels so right in my arms. Like I was built to be with him. But the second I kissed him, I just wanted him, and now it’s at the point where we can’t be left alone. And I don’t know what that makes me. I don’t think of guys in that way, but Kurt...”

 

“Blaine, I think...oh, this might be a little old-fashioned, I guess, but I don’t think there’s any need to label yourself as anything. Being with Kurt doesn’t make you gay, or bisexual, or anything, just like not being with him doesn’t make you straight. You like him, he likes you. What you do, the nature of your relationship and why you choose to be together or apart, is nothing to do with anyone except for you, and Kurt.” 

 

“That’s not old-fashioned, dad. That’s kinda progressive.”

 

“Is it? Oh.” He sits back in his chair, delighted. “Progressive. Wonderful.”

 

Mom rolls her eyes, then reaches for my hand. “Blaine, sweetie, you have always been the cautious one, the one who thinks first, the one who worries what other people might think or feel. I don’t know what happened with Cooper.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“But I do know this; this is your time to take the plunge. Be selfish, be brave, be strong, and listen to your heart. Tell me honestly, if you decide not to be with Kurt, then are you ever going to be truly happy?”

 

“No,” I admit. “I think he’s always going to be my person.”

 

“And does Kurt make you happy?”

 

“More than anything.”

 

“Then I think you need to call him, don’t you?”

 

“No, don’t call him,” Cooper interrupts. “You’re flying out there Saturday, anyway.”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh yeah. Quinn and I changed it all last week because we knew you were both being dumb and you needed to talk. I mean, you have to take the kids, but come night time...” He winks. “No need to thank me, little bro, just pledge your undying love to him and we’ll all be happy.” 

 

Traveling with three children on your own is stressful enough, let alone when that journey is a six hour flight and they know that Kurt is at the end of it. We fly business, which is some consolation at least, but Alice is louder than ever, Maggie is over-emotional, and Joshua is a wriggly baby who doesn’t want to sit still. I am also an emotional wreck, torn between excitement and fear, and constantly worrying that I should have told Kurt I was coming rather than keeping it as a surprise. 

 

The flight attendants become my new best friends, and I could kiss the woman who takes Alice on a long walk around the plane, meaning I have time to rock Joshua off to sleep. “Sing with me?” I ask Maggie, and we sing soft, lilting lullabies that the newly titled not-grandma has taught her. 

 

He’s quickly sound asleep, snuggling into my neck in the most adorable way. With no sign of Alice, I turn my attention back to Maggie. “Wanna talk about it? You’re a sad girl, and I don’t know why.”

 

“Just I don’t like it when Kurt’s not here. Or when you’re not here. It’s like there’s a hole.” 

 

“Good job we’ll see him soon then, huh? He can fill it again.”

 

She smiles. “Yes. But if Kurt does go again, and you go, then will I have to go live someplace else like I did before? I didn’t like that.” 

 

“Oh honey, no. I promise you. Polly talked with you, didn’t she, and explained that your home is with Kurt now.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And, well, it is. And I really, really, reeeeeeally like being part of your life too, so unless you kick me out, I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

She giggles, and seems to have her mind eased because she settles back with her thumb in her mouth to watch a movie. Meanwhile, I study her tiny, impeccable profile, her long blond hair, her big blue eyes, and come to the conclusion that although she might not look like me, our personalities are identical. 

 

A car meets us, with a driver who calls me Quinn throughout, despite my protests to the contrary. The kids think it’s entirely hilarious, even more so when I’m given an ID badge to wear labeling me as Quinn Fabray. We make our way to set, where a runner tells us they’re in the middle of shooting a scene, so we must be silent. 

 

We creep to the back of the lot, and can just about see Kurt in front of a greenscreen. He’s poised ready to run, and he’s wearing his much longed-for suit. “He’s Batman!” Alice cries. I quickly put my hand over her mouth. 

 

“Not Batman. He’s the Firestone, I think. Or is it the Fireman? No, that makes no sense. Firewall? No. Firestone.” 

 

“He looks awesome,” Alice declares and really, he does. The suit is all blue, with flashes of silver and red. He has some kind of helmet thing in place, but when he takes it off for a moment between takes, he looks like the fluffy and adorable Kurt I see when he wakes up. I smile, wholly distracted and completely ignoring the kids, and so just as action is yelled, Alice chooses that moment to run forward. I grab her just in time, but Joshua catches sight of Kurt, and takes up yelling papa, while Alice jumps around. “My Kurtie is not Batman! He’s on fire!” 

 

Kurt stops, pulls of his helmet again. “My babies!” and he runs. He scoops up Alice first, then Maggie, and showers them with kisses. Then he sees me and Joshua. “Oh.” 

 

Setting the girls down, he takes the baby, kisses him and holds him close, then looks at me. “You’re not Quinn, despite what that badge says.” 

 

“No.” I look him up and down, then lean close and kiss his lips. “Nice suit,” I whisper. “It’d look better on my bedroom floor.” 

 

He blushes, and pulls back. “Don’t tease me.” 

 

“I’m not teasing, Kurt.” And this time, I pull him close and kiss him deeply. I ignore the stares, the whispers, the murmured conversations and instead, focus on the feeling of Kurt in my arms, his lips on mine, his free hand curving around my waist. 

 

“What’s going on?” he asks when we part.

 

“Well, you look sensational, so I kinda had to kiss you, but I’d say it’s more than that, actually. Kurt, I should never have run out on you last week, and I’m so, so sorry. There was just this cascade of emotions that I couldn’t deal with and...anyway. Look, the simple fact is, I’m deeply in love with you, Kurt, and I have been for a long time now.” 

 

“That’s...” He grins, the big, massive grin that I haven’t seen in place for so long, and does a cute little bounce on the spot. “I love you too,” he says, and then we’re kissing again. 

 

We’re interrupted by the girls, who are so bouncy and happy that it’s impossible not to scoop them up too, until we’re all squashed into one big family cuddle. 

 

“Mr. Hummel? You’re needed.” 

 

Closing his eyes, he rests his head into Maggie’s hair. “Do I have to?”

 

“You kind of do, yeah,” the runner says with a nervous glance over her shoulder. “I think they just want to get this scene in the can.” 

 

“Go on,” I tell him, though I’d rather he didn’t have to go. “We’ll get time with you later.” 

 

“Okay.” He sighs, then opens his eyes and smiles brightly. “I love you, Blaine,” he says again, and then he runs back to set, leaving me with Maggie, who studies me intently, Alice, who is singing about Batman and Firestone, and Joshua, who repeats the words “papa, gone,” so often that they are ingrained on my brain. 

 

It takes a long time for Kurt to get the scene done, and Maggie fills pretty much all of that time with questions while we wait in his trailer. 

 

“Is Kurt your boyfriend?”

 

“Kinda. I don’t know, really.” 

 

“Oh. Because you did kiss him a lot a lot, and I think you only do that if you’re in love with someone.”

 

“Well, I am in love with him, actually.”

 

“Yeah, I know that.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “But you didn’t always kiss him on the mouth.”

 

“No, I didn’t, you’re right. That’s because I only just realized that I’m in love with him.” 

 

She stops, and stares. “For real life?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You only just noticed?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“ _ I _ noticed, Blaine, and I am only five!”

 

“Yeah, well....”

 

“Cooper says you’re silly. I think he has a point.” 

 

“Thanks for that.” 

 

She giggles, and climbs into my lap. “I like that you love him,” she decides, then settles back with her thumb in her mouth.

 

As much as I'd like to immerse myself wholly in Kurt, there's really no time when he does eventually return, so we settle for sharing shy glances while the director talks him through his notes, and that gets upgraded to hand holding when he finally leaves and Kurt is free.  

 

“I'm all yours,” he says, welcoming the girls into his lap. “Until Monday, anyhow, so let's make the most of it. I'll be ready as soon as I can. I just have to go to wardrobe for help getting out of this suit. It's uh... snug. In all the wrong places.” 

 

“I could help?” 

 

Kurt blushes, as if we haven't ever been intimate and what I'm suggesting is a step too far, but he accepts my offer, and we move into the next room. I was assuming there would just be a zip on the back, and there is, but there's an entire layer of invisible clips to get through first, then a zip neatly hidden in the outer layer and under that, an inner layer that's the same again. 

 

“This is not the romantic moment I was hoping for,” I huff as I wrench another clip open. “This is so tight!” 

 

“Right? I mean, I've been dreaming of this. Both getting the suit and you undressing me at some point, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.” 

 

I laugh, then get two more clips free in quick succession. “I promise you that at some point I'll undress you a little more delicately.” 

 

I get the final zip down, and then peel the suit from Kurt’s body while he wriggles and jumps about to get it free. By the end of the process, Kurt is red faced, sweaty, and breathing hard, and I don't think I look too much better. 

 

“Every. Damn. Day.” He stands there, wearing just a thin underlayer of a long top and leggings, and then we finally get to look at each other. “Do you really mean it, Blaine? What you said?” 

 

“Absolutely. I've done a lot of soul searching, and you've been the most patient, kind, and wonderful man...more than I could have asked for, and more than I deserve, probably. But I love you, Kurt. Not as a friend, but as a lover. Another half of me. I realized that we might have a lot to learn, a lot to go through, but I think... I think we're better together than we are apart, and I don't want to be without you.”

 

“I'm a guy, though.”

 

“Ah, but you're  _ Kurt _ , though.”

 

He smiles, and then throws himself into my arms. It's a hug like we've shared so many times before, but this time I know it's okay to let all of my feelings show, to kiss his neck, his cheek, and finally his lips. 

 

“We still need to talk,” Kurt warns me. “When the kids are asleep, I think, but everything you said is all I wanted to hear. I love you too. I've never had cause to say that to another guy before because I've never been in love but you? You knocked me clean off my feet, and for a while there I thought I was destined to spend all my days locked in unrequited love for a straight guy. Now I've got a...” He studies me a moment. “A curly haired guy. Who'd have thought?” 

 

I love Kurt for many things, but that statement cements exactly why I fell. He knows me, he senses this is new, difficult, and confusing, and he also knows that my identity doesn't matter. What matters is us, here and now. 

 

“The studio put me in an apartment,” he says, not letting go of me. “So I suggest we go back there and get takeout. What do you say?”

 

“I say I’m gonna do whatever you want to do.”

 

“Honestly, all I really want to do is be with you and the kids, like it was before. I’ve been longing for it.” 

 

“Same. So then, that’s what we’ll do.”

 

“One more kiss though,” he murmurs, bringing his lips close to mine. “Just before we have to go be sensible parents once more.”

 

“I see you!” Alice booms, interrupting our moment. “Maggie! I see not Batman Kurt and Bane kissing all of the time!” She claps her hands together and jumps about, while Maggie comes running, with Joshua crawling behind. Our moment is over, but it’s hard to be mad, because everything; the noise, the chaos, the mayhem, is perfect. 

  
  
  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Kurt**

 

Is there anything more perfect than time spent in the company of loved ones? I don’t think so. I take Blaine and the kids back to the apartment and we order pizza. While that’s on it's way, Blaine and Maggie sit at the small piano together, playing songs that we all sing along to- even Joshua starts to make noises to the tunes he recognizes. We’re having so much fun that we don’t even hear the buzzer at first, and it takes Alice’s deafening yell to alert us to the fact that pizza has arrived. 

 

Understandably, the kids are sleepy once we settle down to eat in front of the TV, and once Joshua has had his milk, he’s out like a light, sprawled on my chest, and snoring lightly. I love it, but at the same time I wish he was still awake, drooling over me and calling me papa. That kinda makes me want to cry with joy. Alice is dropping too; she’s gone quiet, and Maggie is sucking her thumb, so as much as I’d like to keep them awake just so I can spend some time with them, I know it’s sensible to put them to bed. 

 

There’s only two bedrooms, but the studio were good enough to equip the second room with two beds and a crib. It’s magical, to see them all lying there sleeping, and to have Blaine standing watch behind me, his arms around my waist. 

 

“Did you ever think you’d love them this much?”

 

“Never,” I tell him. “I didn’t think I’d keep them, let alone come to think of them as mine. Do you think they remember much of before?”

 

“Maggie does. Joshua no, and I think Alice has a vague recollection, mixed with things that Maggie has told her.”

 

“Do you think Maggie misses her dad?”

 

“Definitely, but I know she’s grateful to have you in her life. How old were you when your mom died?”

 

“Seven.”

 

“And you remember her, right?”

 

“Yeah, but it's hazy. I think... I remember her with a lot of love, and I want that for Maggie, too. I don’t want her to remember the interim, that awful time she spent with the relative. The same for her mom, too. I don’t want her to think of her as a bad person.”

 

“I don’t think she will, eventually. Polly’s working on that. Music helps Maggie, you know. We often play the Toy Story song together, and I think she’ll always have music as an escape.”

 

“Blaine?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You know, don’t you, that taking on me, means taking on them too?”

 

He squeezes me tighter. “Absolutely I do know that, yes. It’s been the main cause of much of my agony, to tell you the truth. I didn’t want us to go wrong, and to end up hurting them.... You know, I’ve never seen or heard my parents exchange one word in anger. And now I wonder if that’s necessarily a good thing? I don’t mean that I want to witness massive fights between them, but I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t plain sailing for them, that they do disagree, and that they do have to work at their relationship. I can’t fault them for wanting to give Cooper and I a happy and harmonious childhood, of course, but I know I don’t deal with conflict very well, and I think that’s why. Looking back, you know, I’ve ended relationships because we’ve had one fight and I’ve assumed that it couldn’t possibly work.”

 

“You never had a fight with Santana?”

 

“She terrifies me, Kurt. I was too scared to argue back.” 

 

I laugh, and pull him from the room, closing the door. “So now you know that conflict is a part of any healthy relationship, are you going to go back and see if any of those could have worked out for you?” 

 

“No I am not!” 

 

“Good. Because do you know what I’ve missed most of all in these last few weeks? You, me, a bottle of wine and our feet touching on the couch. Come on.” 

 

It’s heaven. Perfectly simple; just Blaine and I, talking, filling each other in on all we’ve been thinking and feeling the last few weeks. We talk and we talk and we talk, and at some point I shift around until I’m between his legs on the couch, and our wine is long since finished. 

 

“Tell me where you’re at with us, then,” I ask him. “Because I’m aware of two things here; this is very new for us, and neither of us want to mess it up. But my lifestyle isn’t normal. I’m not an easy person to be with, for a lot of reasons.” 

 

“Because you’re stubborn, just like Alice.” 

 

“Hey!”

 

He shifts about until we’re facing one another, and I like that. “I’m not ready to be paraded up and down a red carpet with you.” 

 

I swallow hard, and nod. “Okay.”

 

“I’m not saying not ever, just not right now.”

 

“I get it.”

 

“And I don’t want to be doing any photo shoots with us and the kids like I see in some magazines.”

 

“Agreed.” 

 

He pauses, thinking, choosing his words carefully. I have a feeling my own fear is reflected in his face as he bites his lip, then takes a deep breath. “But I’m proud to love you.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m proud.” He shrugs, as if we were discussing the weather. “I’m honored that you would love me in return; that you think I’m worthy of that, and I’m so damn proud I feel like I could burst. I’m not ready to walk the red carpet because it makes me feel awkward, not because I don’t want to be seen with you. So I guess... what I’m trying to say, is I just want us to be us, regardless of fans, press, bitter ex-assistants, whatever. If we want to hold hands, then I say we do it. If we want to kiss each other, then why the hell not? I’m not ashamed of being with you. I landed a superhero!”

 

I laugh, but it quickly turns into tears of relief. “I thought you were going to ask to keep it on the down low!”

 

“I think I would have, if I’d rushed into this a week ago. One more thing, though. I think you should change your list of caveats.” 

 

“To what?”

 

“To say that they can ask about us, and family life, and that you’ll give brief answers but not be too detailed.”

 

“Really?”

 

“If you want to.”

 

“I do want to!” Elated, I hug him hard. “Yes I do, because I’m just as happy and proud as you are, and I’d love for the world to know that, instead of always having to say ‘no comment’ to everything.” 

 

“Well there we go then. That’s where I’m at right now.”

 

I fall back against a pile of cushions, and kick my feet. “Will you move in?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

I sit again. “Oh. I thought...”

 

“I’d like to, and there’s a guy at Sam’s work who’s looking for a place, so that could all work out, but do you think we’re ready?”

 

“You’re there all the time anyway.”

 

“True. I can’t afford more rent, though, and...”

 

“I’m not going to charge you rent!”

 

“I’m not going to live rent free!”

 

“Blaine, listen to me. I love you. I want to share this weird life with you. That means both of us working as a team. You’re around more to be much more hands on with the kids, you’ll be paying me by being a presence in their lives.”

 

“But...”

 

“I’d like you to quit Home Depot too, but baby steps.”

 

“No, Kurt.” He sits tight, flaring with indignance. “I’ll move in, but I’m contributing, and working. I don’t want anyone saying I’m living off my rich boyfriend.”

 

They’ll say that anyway, regardless, but I don’t tell Blaine that. I accept his comments, and he seems happier. I guess the exact details can come later. 

 

“You’re moving in!” I squeak, and he laughs, finally, and pulls me close. 

 

“Yeah I am. Can I redecorate my bedroom?”

 

“Hey!” I playfully punch him. “Oh, but you could, actually, if you wanted a music room?”

 

“Kurt, you’re giving me enough. There is one more thing, though.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“I have to take the um...more physical side of our relationship super slow.”

 

“Bit late for that.”

 

“I know, and truth be told, I’m a little upset about that. When you came to my apartment that day, I should’ve kissed you and left it there. I’d fantasized about kissing you for so long, how magical it would be. The trouble is, you’re so hot, and I was so horny, and then I regretted rushing through it.”

 

“It maybe wasn’t our finest moment,” I agree. “But we both wanted and needed it, so...”

 

“I know. But last week as well. I wasted the opportunity. You’re beautiful to me, and I wanted to cherish you. Instead I was selfish, and I don’t want you to think I don’t respect you.”

 

“I don’t think that. Blaine, we can go as slow as you like. I’ll take my lead from you.” 

 

He nods slowly, then looks up. “Like tonight...can I just hold you? That’s all I want, really. Just to feel you in my arms once again.” 

 

Getting to my feet, I hold out both my hands to him. “Yes. You can. That’s all I want too, Blaine, and it’s always going to be enough. Just the chance to love you, that’s all.” 

 

It feels strange to be going to bed together, despite the awkward night that we shared at his parent’s house. It’s strange, because this time it’s allowed, and we can be open and honest in our affections. Blaine’s body is a solid, comforting weight; pressed half on top of me with his head resting into the crook of my neck. I bury my face into his soft hair and inhale deeply, so content and peaceful that I could fall asleep right away....and I do. 

 

I’m awoken with kisses, something that’s never happened my whole life through. Blaine’s touch is featherlight; his lips gently traveling along my collarbone and up my neck. 

 

“Oh hey, you’re awake.” He smiles down at me. “You’re so perfect.” 

 

“Wake me up like this every morning, please.” I stretch, bringing my arms high above my head and then down over his shoulders. Blaine slides on top of me, and kisses me deeply. 

 

I respond eagerly; I’ve come to realize that I’ve been wanting this since the very beginning, when I first saw Blaine in my conservatory. Now it’s happening; his mouth on mine, his tongue teasing, his hands roaming down my sides. 

 

“I’m still taking this slowly,” he declares, pausing to catch his breath. “But damn, Kurt.” He looks me up and down, and grins. “Damn.” 

 

I pull him back into the kiss. The more he gives, the more I want, and we tangle together, making out passionately. It really is like being an inexperienced teenager once more; new, exciting, overwhelming, and completely divine. 

 

I keep my promise, and let Blaine take the lead even though it pains me to relinquish control. It is he who flips us so he’s underneath, and he who pulls my top off and throws it to one side. His hands are firm, his touch sure, and his lips, teeth and tongue are playful when he rolls me onto my back again and kisses over my chest. 

 

His hand wanders lower, palms over my erection briefly, then takes hold of the drawstring on my pajama pants. “Still totally taking this really slowly,” he says. His eyes sparkle and he smiles brightly, leaning down to kiss me. “But just so you know? We’re both gonna be naked very soon.” 

 

“Thank God.”

 

Blaine gets my pants barely an inch down my hips before we’re bombarded by the girls and Joshua, who has been helped out of his crib. 

 

“Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you only six days away!” Alice booms, and Blaine falls face first on top of me with a groan. 

 

“Only a DAY away, Alice.”

 

“Tomorrow, tomorrow..”

 

“No, no,” I call, wrapping my arms around Blaine. “We don’t need to hear it again, as beautiful as it is. Why don’t you all go watch some TV until we’re ready?”

 

“No thank you, Kurt.” Maggie climbs onto the bed and pulls Joshua up behind her. “We want to come in for cuddles.”

 

“That’s what I wanted too,” Blaine grumbles, but he rolls to one side and makes room for them all to clamber in between us. 

 

There’s no denying it’s perfect, and it makes both of us exceptionally happy to have this time with them, but when I get the chance, I look over to Blaine and catch his eye. “I’m putting a lock on the bedroom door when we get home.”

 

“Hell yes you are.” 

 

“Kurt, when do we go home?”

 

I cradle Maggie close, kissing into her hair. “Well, you all fly home tomorrow, but I’m here for another week.”

 

“I don’t want that, though!”

 

“I know, sweetie, and I don’t want that either, but you know what? Blaine is going to be with you, and Polly, taking care of you, and also, we have some really exciting news.” I nod to Blaine, who purposely waits, stretching the patience of Maggie and Alice to breaking point. 

 

“I’m moving in,” he says, beaming, but Alice simply goes back to playing with the buttons on her pyjamas, and Maggie frowns. 

 

“Moving in where?”

 

“With you and Kurt!”

 

“You didn’t already do that?”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh.” She shrugs. “I thought you did. Because you’re always at home.”

 

“Well... yes, I guess, but Kurt and I, you know you were saying about us being in love? Well, we are, and so I’m going to move all of my things into your house, and I’ll live there all of the time. And Kurt and I will share a bedroom, like we are now.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Can we have breakfast now?”

 

He throws his hands up in despair and laughs. “Sure thing. Let’s get this day started.”

 

We might all be in a different city, and in a strange apartment, but it’s amazing how quickly we settle into the familiarity we had all adopted before things got awkward between Blaine and I. The kids don’t seem to notice that anything has changed, they just know that they appreciate us all being together, as Maggie tells us several times. It makes me wonder what goes on in that little head of hers. Though for the most part, she is happy and upbeat, and a different child to the one I inherited, sometimes I see her locked in deep thought, and it doesn’t seem like a pleasant place to be. 

 

“I’ll talk to her when we’re back in New York,” Blaine tells me. He hops up onto the counter in the bathroom and watches me as I shave. An oddly intimate moment for us to be sharing, but wonderful. “Take her for a milkshake or something. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Maybe she’s thinking about her dad?”

 

“Yeah. Even so, I want her to know I’m there for her, and I feel bad that I’m not.”

 

“But  _ we’re  _ there for her, Kurt. Both of us.” 

 

“That’s true.” I kiss him, smearing shaving cream over his cheek. “Let’s give them a perfect day.” 

 

We walk through the park across the street and up to a children’s art gallery, which Maggie enjoys but Alice is itching to get outside and play. Joshua is restless too, trying to climb from his stroller and crying when I tighten the harness in an effort to keep him contained. He’s growing up fast; wanting to be more involved rather than just watching from the sidelines. 

 

“Hey, you know what? Why don’t I take these two wriggle pants, and go find us some sandwiches? We’ll meet you back in the park. That way you can spend some time together?” 

 

Blaine’s words are like a gift from the Gods, and I take him up on his offer immediately. Maggie takes my hand and we move into the next hall to admire sculptures made by different groups of children from around the world. 

 

“Doesn’t Blaine like art?”

 

“It’s not that. Music is art, of course, but I think he offered to take Joshy and Alice because they were getting restless. I also think that maybe he wasn’t enjoying it as much as we are,” I add with a wink.

 

“People can like different things though, right?”

 

“Of course.” 

 

“You still love him?”

 

“Very much. I still love all of you.”

 

She stops dead, and looks up at me. “You love me? And Alice and Joshy?” She blinks. “I thinked you just like us a lot.”

 

The guilt and inadequacy hits me like a freight train and it’s all I can do to keep breathing as I realize this small, fragile little girl, doesn’t think she is loved by anyone. Just liked. Just enough. 

 

I take her over to a quieter corner of the room and kneel in front of her, taking both her hands in mine. “Maggie, I love you to the moon and stars and back again, three million times over. I love you, and Alice and Joshy, so much that I feel my heart might just burst with it all. You are the most wonderful and precious gift I’ve ever been given, and I hope I make your dad really proud by looking after you as best I can. I promise you, I love you, my darling girl, and I always, always will.” 

 

She nods solemnly, and then her face breaks into the most brilliant of smiles and she hurls herself into my arms, squeezing tight around my neck. “I love you millions,” she declares. “And Blaine, and Alice, and Joshy. I love you all the most in the whole world.” Kissing her cheek, I stand with her in my arms, and together we view the rest of the exhibits. 

 

She’s still clinging to me when we walk back to the park, and she’s damn heavy, but I don’t let on. Blaine waits under the shade of a large tree, a blanket spread out on the ground. “I bought it,” he explains. “And a whole load of food.”

 

“You’re a star.” I kiss him briefly, sit on the blanket, and pull Alice into my lap. “I love you, buttercup.” I tickle her tummy and she giggles. 

 

“You called me buttercup!”

 

“You’re like a buttercup, with your yellow hair, and you’re all shiny. And I love you, just so you know.” 

 

She squeals again then brings her tiny hands to my face, and kisses the tip of my nose. “I love you too, Kurtie.”

 

“And I love you, Joshy,” I add, but Joshua is sound asleep in his stroller. I feel Blaine’s eyes on me, but I can’t say anything until the girls are preoccupied, so I wait until after we’ve eaten and they’re running about with a ball that Blaine also thought to buy. 

 

“You wanna tell me why you’re about to cry?”

 

I relay the whole incident to him as we lie side by side on our stomachs, watching the most beautiful little girls in the whole world running about, trying to catch each other. “I’d just never told them, Blaine. Can you believe it? I’d told you, dad, your parents... all these people, that I love the kids, but never actually told _ them _ . I’m a horrible, horrible parent.” 

 

“No you’re not, you’re fantastic at it.”

 

“Maggie just thought I was tolerating her, I think.”

 

“No she didn’t. Kids are complex little creatures. Your words probably shocked her, because up until that moment she hadn’t thought about it, that’s all. But now she knows for sure, and look how happy she is, Kurt. They both are.” 

 

“They are, aren’t they?”

 

“And that’s only going to grow. You know,” he looks out at the girls and frowns. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told them I love them, either.” He sits up and cups his hands around his mouth. “Hey, Maggie, Alice!” he calls. “I love you!”

 

They stop running, and turn. Maggie waves and blows frantic kisses, while Alice jumps up and down beside her. “I love you too, Bane, but not as much as I love Batman!”

 

“Ah.” I pat his shoulder, laughing. “Poor Blaine.”

 

“Eh, I’m not bothered.” He grins, pushing me back down onto the blanket. “I’ve landed the best superhero of all.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Blaine**

 

The pictures are online by early evening; Quinn alerts Kurt, who pulls them up on his phone while I cook dinner. There’s him and Maggie, walking toward the park, and then, of course, numerous pictures of us together in the park, lying on the blanket watching the girls play, and later on in the afternoon someone caught the moment I lay on my back, holding Joshua high above me, while Kurt lay on his side next to us, laughing. 

 

“What do you think?” Kurt asks. I stand over his shoulder, reading the multitudes of comments. 

 

“I don’t know, really. I mean, the kids faces aren’t seen.”

 

“No.”

 

“And... I had a good day. I think that’s reflected in the pictures.”

 

He turns in his chair, looking up at me in surprise. “You’re not bothered?”

 

“Um, well, yes, but....” I return to the stove. “I think we’re going to be talked about, aren’t we? Whether I like it or not. So I’d much rather they were nice pictures, and that fans were saying nice things, than they were pictures of us looking miserable because we weren’t together. On balance, I’d take having my picture on every website out there if it means I get to be with you.” 

 

I see the relief on Kurt’s face, and feel it, too, when he comes up behind me and hugs me close. “Thank you. The scrutiny won’t be so bad once filming is done, you know, and the series is aired.”

 

“Do you get a break then?”

 

“Depends if it gets a second season. If it does, I’ll get a short break and then I’ll be right back to it.”

 

“Do you want it to?”

 

“I want the job security. And I quite like playing the superhero, I’ll be honest.”

 

“But you’re a theater nerd, aren’t you Kurt?”

 

“I am, yeah.” 

 

“Maybe one day?”

 

“I don’t have the voice, I told you. But I’m reconciled to that fact.”

 

He kisses my neck, then moves away to call the kids in for dinner. They seem louder than ever in the relatively small apartment, but they’re happy, and Kurt seems to shine. They go to sleep quickly that night; worn out by two days packed full of activity and a long plane journey. 

 

“I don’t think they’ve realized we’re going home tomorrow,” I whisper to Kurt as we back out of their bedroom. 

 

“Or maybe they have, but they’re in denial, like I am.” 

 

“Oh, you’ll be home soon enough.”

 

“I know. But I feel like we’ve just sorted everything out and now we’ve got no time to enjoy being together.”

 

“It sucks, I agree, but we’ve got tonight.”

 

“True. Wine?”

 

“Hmm, no.” I take his hand and lead him in the opposite direction, instead. “Bed, I think.” 

 

“You don’t have to, Blaine. It’s fine to wait.”

 

I turn a small lamp on and close the bedroom door before I turn to face him. “Kurt, after tomorrow, it’ll be a week before we’re together again. You think I’m going to fly back to New York without making love to you?”

 

“Well... I mean... I’m not gonna turn the offer down,” he says with a smile. “But y’know, I don’t want you to, to, to... Oh, just kiss me, Blaine. Shut me up.”

 

I laugh, and happily welcome him into my arms. 

 

“If things gross you out, tell me,” Kurt murmurs against my lips. “Because I...”

 

“Kurt, I’m shutting you up now.” I cover his lips with my own, and feel his smile as his arms come up around my neck and he surrenders to the kiss. 

 

I find myself longing for his touch, the press of his body against mine, the feel of his lips. It’s different to anything I’ve experienced before; not because he’s a guy, but because he’s Kurt, and because now I know he’s my soulmate. 

 

I pull lightly on his hair, until his head is back and his neck exposed. I kiss there, letting my teeth scrape slightly against his flesh. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” I whisper. “I just... I wanna see you.”

 

Kurt murmurs his pleasure, and starts to unbutton his shirt but I stop him. “I told you I’d undress you a little more sensuously next time.” 

 

“True.” He fold his hands behind his back. “I should’ve worn the suit.”

 

“As hot as you look in that, and you really, really do...” I get his shirt open and let it fall to the floor. “This is easier. Although...” 

 

“Blaine Anderson! Are you getting turned on at the thought of sleeping with a superhero?”

 

“No. I’m getting turned on at the thought of sleeping with you.” I loosen my bowtie and pull my shirt over my head, too impatient to deal with the buttons. 

 

Kurt takes one look at me, and pounces. We fall onto the bed with him on top, and he grinds down against me as we make out. I fumble; my hands shaking with a mix of nerves and excitement, but I get his jeans open, down his hips and eventually, off. He reciprocates and then that’s it; only underwear separating us. 

 

“It was dark last time.” 

 

Kurt lies on his side, propped on one elbow. His fingers trail gently up and down my arm. “We can turn the light off if you want.” 

 

“I don’t think I do.”

 

My heart is racing, and Kurt knows it. In fact, he looks equally as nervous as I feel, which helps me, somewhat. He moves closer, taking me into his arms and kissing me tenderly, pulling me on top of him. 

 

I kiss him deeply, hoping it conveys my love for him, and then, for the first time, I move lower, my lips trailing down his chest and making him shudder. His skin feels sublime, and his response thrills me; his body rises underneath mine, arching up, seeking more. His desire makes me bold, and I shuck out of my own underwear before pulling his off swiftly. 

 

I can feel my urgent need building, but I push it back and instead press myself against Kurt, letting out a shaking breath as I do so. He is sweet and caring, bringing his hand to the back of my neck and drawing me into a long kiss. I have no idea what it is I want to do, or what Kurt expects, but I do know within seconds, that being like this with him, is something I’m never going to tire of. 

 

“I love you.” I smile down at him and kiss the tip of his nose. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.” 

 

“So you’ll keep me?” 

 

“For now.” 

 

Laughing, Kurt flips us over and digs me in the ribs for good measure. Then he sits astride me and rubs his thumbs over my nipples. 

 

“Holy shit! Why is that so... Oh...” Pleasure shoots through me, and I’m also aware that Kurt is deliberately rubbing our cocks together. 

 

“Blaine?”

 

I close my eyes, gasping. “Y-yeah?”

 

“I want you in my mouth.”

 

“That’s...yeah. Yes. But I don’t know if I can...”

 

“Doesn’t matter. I just want to, anyway.”

 

“Okay. Yeah.” 

 

Kurt takes me right to the back of his throat at first, and then pulls back, teasing with his tongue. Every so often, he looks up, which has a profound effect on my desperation and he knows it, smiling wickedly before getting back to it. 

 

My hand slides into his hair, coming to rest at the back of his head and I’m unable to resist pushing him down slightly. I’m a wreck; desperately trying not to come and also not to cry out, and in the end, I have to tell Kurt to stop. He comes back up to face level, pink-cheeked and smiling. 

 

“Too much?”

 

“Yes, but in the best way. I just don’t want it to be over just yet, that’s all. I want to... I don’t know. I want to...” 

 

“Here.” Kurt leans across and grabs a bottle of lotion. “I didn’t exactly pack for the occasion, but this’ll do.” 

 

He pours it into my hand, and looks right into my eyes as I wrap my hand around him. “Yeah.” He sighs, and his eyes flutter closed. “Just like that.” 

 

Spurred on by his obvious enjoyment, I pull him into a kiss, tugging on his hair and nipping at his lip with my teeth. His fingers grip my shoulder and he gasps. “Oh Blaine...”

 

“I want to...” I move my hand and press against him, rolling him over until I’m on top. “I don’t know if this will work...”

 

“Oh it’ll work, but I’ll probably come really quickly.” Kurt holds my hips firmly, guides me and then suddenly, wow. The pleasure as we slide against one another is intense; Kurt is beneath me, holding me close, encouraging me to press harder. His lips find mine, then move to my neck, my shoulder. His hands are everywhere and he fills up all of my senses. 

 

“I’m gonna...”

 

“Wait,” Kurt commands. “Just...please. Harder. Faster.” 

 

It suddenly hits me that Kurt is not a fragile flower; he’s strong, demanding and oh so very, very hot. I give it everything. 

 

“Oh fuck yes!” he cries, arching his back. “Go on, Blaine.”

 

“I’m really....”

 

Kurt squeezes my ass, hard, and then I’m coming, burying my face into his neck to keep from being too loud. He follows closely, with a shout of my name, and then he falls back on the bed, gasping. “Wow. That was intense.” 

 

I kiss him gently. “I love you.” 

 

“Fuzzy Blaine.” He laughs, and reaches up in an attempt to tame my hair. “My favorite.” 

 

I roll to one side to grab tissues and then we lie almost nose to nose, just watching one another, appreciating the moment. “You look stoned,” Kurt says eventually, and I give a lazy smile.

 

“I feel stoned.”

 

“Blaine! How would you know?”

 

“You’ve never smoked pot?”

 

“No I have not, and don’t tell me you have. You’re far too prim and proper.” 

 

“Okay then. I’ve never smoked pot.” 

 

He laughs and kisses my lips before turning out the light. “You’re lying, but I love you anyway.” Settling happily as the little spoon, Kurt kisses my hand and holds it against his heart. “Gosh, Blaine, I really love you, you know? Like...”

 

“You’re it for me.” 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

We fall asleep, but wake before the kids. Though we are clothed, we are sharing long, lazy kisses when they arrive, the sense of sadness at our imminent departure growing all the while. We eat breakfast together, and shortly after that, two cars arrive. One for me and the kids, one for Kurt. 

 

“Well, this is it.” Kurt takes a deep breath, and crouches down in front of Maggie and Alice. “I will see you beautiful girlies in one week, okay? That’s all. One week. And we can skype every day, and Blaine and Polly will be there to look after you. Just remember that I love you all, so much, and I promise to think of you all the time.” 

 

Their reaction is heartbreaking. Alice wails loudly, while Maggie’s whole face crumples. Though he doesn’t understand what’s going on, even Joshua holds his arms out to Kurt, crying. 

 

“Oh god.” 

 

“Come on, they’ll be fine.” I pull him to his feet and into my arms. “Think how great it’ll be next week.”

 

“I know, but...”

 

“They’ll be nicely distracted, I’m sure. Cooper will visit, I can take them out and about places...we’ll have so much fun, won’t we?” I smile brightly, but their tears continue. 

 

“But it’s all better when we’re together!” Maggie cries. 

 

“I agree, but you know what? Just you wait until you tell all your school friends that Kurt is the Fireman.”

 

“Firestone, Blaine.”

 

“That. You’re such a lucky little lady, I tell you. And hey, what’s say we all learn a new song on the piano, and then we can play it to Kurt when he comes home?”

 

“Can it be Batman?” Alice asks with a sniffle. “Or Avengers? Not Fireman.”

 

“I am so happy my work means so much to you, my darling buttercup,” Kurt says, squeezing her tight. Over the top of her head he grins at me. “Go, learn every superhero related song that you can, and then I’ll look forward to a concert when I get home.”

 

“Yay!” Placated, Alice claps her hands and climbs into the car. “I love you my Kurtie.”

 

“You know, I still owe you that private gig,” I tease. 

 

“Yeah you do, don’t think I’ve forgotten.” He scoops Maggie into his arms. “Have a good week, sweetie.” 

 

Maggie is unable to stop crying, and it’s heartbreaking. I end up saying my own goodbye as quickly as I can, just to get her off the scene so she can begin to calm down. I reassure her as best I can on the way to the airport, but my words fall on deaf ears. 

 

“I just like it when we’re all together,” she sobs. “I love Kurt and I love you. He will come back, won’t he? Please say he’ll come back.” 

 

“Of course he will! Kurt loves you, and so do I, but sometimes grown ups have to work. Adults are just like kids, but bigger, and we have to have jobs to earn money. So it helps if that job is something we enjoy, like you enjoy going to school. Kurt enjoys going to his work, and that’s good, you know? It makes him happy, and he gets to earn money. It’s never going to be perfect, because he’d rather be with us, but we’ve all got to be apart from each other at some point.” 

 

She sniffles, wipes her nose on my sleeve, and then looks up at me. “Do you like your work? In the store?”

 

“Not really, but I like my work on the piano.”

 

“Why do you work in the store then?”

 

“Because I have to earn money.” I shrug. “You’ll understand more when you’re older. But for now, I think we should plan our little concert, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah. I already know what I want to sing. I think...”

 

“BATMAN!”

 

“Yes thank you, Alice, we know. Let Maggie take a turn.” 

 

Maggie scowls at her sister, and digs her in the thigh for good measure. “I want to sing the Toy Story song.”

 

“Oh. Really?”

 

“Yes. Because it doesn’t make me hurt now. It makes me smile.”

 

“That’s wonderful.” I put my arm about her little shoulders, and kiss into her hair to hide my tears of joy. “Wonderful.” 

 

“I singing Batman.”

 

“We know!” Maggie and I chorus together, and then catch one another’s eye and smile. 

 

Cooper is waiting for us at the airport; a very welcome surprise. The girls run, screaming their delight, and he scoops them up and showers them with kisses. A far cry from the shy, reserved little people I met only three months ago. Even Joshua wants in on the affection, and is quickly maneuvering himself out of his stroller harness. 

 

“Okay, okay.” I set him free and hand him over. 

 

“Bae, bae, bae,” he coos, kissing all over Cooper’s face. 

 

“I’m not Blaine, but I’ll take the kisses, little man!” Cooper kisses him back, then slings an arm about my shoulders. “Well? Mama says since we haven’t heard from you then all must be well.” 

 

“All is... yeah, very well indeed.” I grin and duck my head. “Perfect, in fact.” 

 

“Ooh someone got some!”

 

“Cooper! Little ears are listening.” 

 

“Sorry. But you did though, right?”

 

“I’m not discussing it.”

 

“So you did. Come on, kids. Kurt let me use a car and I’m parked kinda very illegally. I thought we could grab dinner on the way home.” 

 

My happiness is only expanded upon when I’m with Cooper. Being able to tell someone really cements it all and makes it real, and it feels great. 

 

“Kurt’s asked me to move in,” I tell him over dinner in our favorite Mexican restaurant. 

 

“What, he’s asked you to move your five remaining cardigans and your nerdy comic collection into his place? Big wow. You practically live there already.”

 

“Exactly.” Maggie rolls her eyes. “And guess what? Blaine only just realized that he loves Kurt. How silly is that?” 

 

“Very.” Cooper reaches across to high five her. “But I told you they were both dumb.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Anytime.” He grins. “Seriously, congrats, bro. I’m happy for you. And overjoyed that it means more time with these guys. Anytime you need a sitter...”

 

“Hmm. We’ll see.”

 

“I’m working near to your place this week, actually. I could come over tomorrow after I get off?”

 

“I have a shift, but Polly and Quinn will be around. Feel free to call in.”

 

“You’re going back to work?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh. I thought...”

 

“You thought what? That I’d let Kurt keep me? I have to earn money, Cooper. I want to contribute.” 

 

“Yeah, of course. I just... I guess I thought you’d just stop at Home Depot and do more gigs, maybe, since a regular wage wasn’t so urgent now.”

 

“I’m still saving up for studio time, and I have rent to pay until Sam’s friend can move in. I haven’t even told Sam yet.” 

 

“Of course.” He nods, then turns his attentions to Alice, the subject forgotten.

 

It’s not forgotten by me, though. I spend the entirety of my shift the next day, wondering if my stubborn streak should just take a back seat for once. Not only is it strange to be back at work after my time off, I also have to deal with whispers following me about, from colleagues that I had previously considered to be my friends. One does ask me outright if I’m dating Kurt, and I tell them yes- after all, we said we wouldn’t hide it, and I’m certainly proud to love him. 

 

The strange thing is, it seems that it’s not Kurt’s celebrity status that is the focus of the gossip, but the fact that I’m dating a man. I work with someone who vaguely knows Santana, and the apparent weirdness of the situation filters back to her. She stands, waiting outside the store when I finish, arms folded and a murderous look on her face. 

 

“Do you know anyone named Karen?” she barks.

 

“Yeah, she works with me.”

 

“I know. Don’t speak to her ever again.”

 

“I haven’t. Why?”

 

“Because apparently, you’re now a disgusting word that I won’t even mention. She text me to tell me.”

 

I raise my eyebrows. “Does she know you’re gay?”

 

“She will in a minute. She’ll also know exactly what I think of her.”

 

“Hold up. You’re not here to see me?”

 

“No. Her.”

 

“No way.” I steer her away from the shop and onto the sidewalk. “You can’t hang around waiting to beat someone up. You’re not fifteen anymore.”

 

“So? Neither is she, but she’s acting like it.”

 

“It’s not worth it, Santana. If people have an issue then it’s their problem. Not mine, not Kurt’s, and certainly not yours.” 

 

“I hate it!” she cries. “When I came out, I had people making cruel jokes about how you couldn’t satisfy me. Now I’ve got people calling you filthy names and saying Kurt’s turned you queer. Sam’s latest girlfriend thinks you’re only dating him so you can be famous.”

 

“Yeah, but she’s probably seventeen.” 

 

“Nineteen, but close. Ugh.” 

 

“Please don’t worry.” I hug her close. “I appreciate you defending me, but really, there’s no need. You know you once told me being with Dani gives you the confidence to be yourself? Well, I’m the same. Being with Kurt...it’s like nothing else matters. The second I told him and he fell into my arms, it was like everyone else’s thoughts ceased to matter. I love him, he loves me, we love the kids. End of.” 

 

She pouts, making me laugh. “Can’t I just punch her a little bit?”

 

“No you cannot. Come home with me, the kids would love to meet you.” 

 

“Cooper says the small girl is feisty.”

 

“Alice? Oh, she is.”

 

“Great. I love her already.” 

 

And so our week passes; shifts at Home Depot for me, while the kids spend time with Polly. As soon as I get off work I rush back to them, cramming as much quality time in before bed time as I can. We spend time with Cooper, Santana, and Sam, whom I think is slowly getting to grips with the idea of me and Kurt being together. We facetime Kurt each day and on Saturday, we bake a cake ready for him coming home the next day. I am exhausted by the end of it all, and I crawl into bed just before midnight with the house all straight, the laundry done, and the kitchen full of groceries. 

 

The first time the phone rings, I am so deeply asleep that I think I’m hearing it in a dream. The second time, I wake properly, fumbling to find it in the covers. The third time, I answer immediately. 

 

“Finally!”

 

“Kurt?”

 

“Who else? Open the door.” 

 

“The bedroom door?”

 

“The front door! You’ve put the safety chain on and I can’t get in.” 

 

It’s two in the morning, but I leap from bed and tear down the stairs, pulling open the door, and there he stands. Twelve hours early, with a huge grin on his face and an armful of flowers. 

 

“Oh my God!”

 

Pulling him inside, the flowers are forgotten on the hall floor in favor of kisses, and lots of them. “This is the best surprise ever!”

 

“Hmm, well...” Kurt stops, pinning me against the wall and kissing me again. “I figured why wait?” His hands tangle into my hair as his lips travel along my jaw. “There was no point in spending another night alone. I knew where I really wanted to be.” He pulls back momentarily. “I love you,” he says simply, then kisses me once again. 

 

It’s the best feeling in the world; his lips on mine, his hands in my hair...him. Kurt. 

 

“I love you too,” I whisper as we part. “It’s so good to have you back. The kids will be so excited.”

 

“I hope so. But also, I did kinda think that me coming back in the night would give us time to just be together a little bit before they demand all the attention. That suitcase there is pretty much full of gifts for them. Oh, and flowers...” He looks around and retrieves the flowers from the floor. “For you.” He bites his lip, then, and flushes slightly. “I wasn’t sure if it was really appropriate, or if flowers were a bit....”

 

“They’re beautiful.” I take them, and he follows me to the kitchen to find a vase. “You want anything? Food? Wine?”

 

“Not really. I just want to get into bed and hold you.” 

 

I turn about, and in that moment I swear, I realize that my reason for living is clear; this man, and the love we share. I set the vase on the counter and take him in my arms, holding him close. 

 

“That sounds so perfect.” 

 

The flowers are arranged, Kurt’s bags are left in the hallway, and we head up the stairs for him to softly kiss each child as they sleep. He whispers something to each of them, something I can’t hear, but when he closes the door to Joshua’s room, he looks emotional. 

 

I take his hand in mine. “Come on.”

 

“Where you going?”

 

“Bed.” 

 

“You’re still in the guest room?”

 

I shrug. “It didn’t feel right to invade your personal space while you weren’t here.”

 

“But you’ve moved your stuff in, right?”

 

I stare at the floor. 

 

“Blaine!”

 

“But I will. I just wanted you to be here, that’s all.” 

 

“Okay. Guest room tonight, our room tomorrow.”

 

I smile and lift him so his legs wrap around my waist. “Deal.” 

 

We make it into the bedroom and I set Kurt on the bed. As much as I’d like to undress him and spend hours making love, I can’t. Tiredness overwhelms us both, and Kurt simply shrugs out of his clothes until he’s down to his underwear, and pulls the covers over us both. 

 

“We’ll collect your stuff tomorrow, after I’ve made you breakfast in bed as a thank you for being chief kid supervisor all week,” he decides as we settle nose to nose. 

 

“I have a shift at eight.” 

 

“What?”

 

“I’ll be done by noon, though, since we were expecting you to land at two.”

 

“Blaine, it’s like... nearly three in the morning. You need to sleep.”

 

“I know, but I love looking at you. I love having you here with me.” I lean in, kissing him softly. We make out for the longest time; trading kisses and smiles in the dim light. And then, in the middle of a long, lazy kiss, we fall asleep. 

 

We are woken by a wall of sound. The shrieks, screams, and exclamations of delight are deafening, and Kurt catches Maggie and Alice in his arms, laughing and raining kisses over their little cheeks. 

 

I slip from the bed and go across the hall, where Joshua stands up in his crib, desperately bouncing up and down in the hope someone will take him to wherever the noise is coming from. 

 

“Bae! Bae!”

 

“Hey cutie, just you wait. Just you wait.” 

 

He bounces even harder in my arms when he sees Kurt, and holds his arms out. “Papa! Papa!” 

 

“Joshy!” 

 

I lower him onto Kurt’s stomach, and the open mouthed kisses begin immediately. I find myself hoping he never grows out of that. It’s such an adorable scene that I have to take photos, and settle for sending them to my parents and Cooper since I can’t post them online. I don’t even dare send them to Santana or Sam. 

 

“Kurt surprised us!” Maggie says happily. She squirms down in the bed between us, thumb in mouth. “I love him.”

 

“You still do? Oh that’s good,” I tease and she giggles. 

 

“Is it tomorrow today?”

 

“Yes, Alice.”

 

“But Kurtie is here and not at the airport.”

 

“That’s the surprise.”

 

“Oh! Can we give him his cake now?”

 

“Oh Alice.” Kurt laughs and bops her on the nose. “I think that was supposed to be a surprise too.”

 

“But it’s cake, Kurtie. Cake.” 

 

“Very true.” 

 

“And we did make it all by ourselves with Bane, and not-grandma had to be on the ipad and we could see her face like this.” She smooches his cheeks in her hands. “Because Bane did not know what he’s doing, and not-grandma said it’s a good job he’s got you girls to keep him in order and I said yes, it is.” 

 

“And....I have to go to work,” I say, kissing each of them in turn. 

 

“Hold up, you’re not going to comment on the cake making?”

 

“Nope.” I grin, unable to resist leaning over and giving him another, longer kiss. “But I believe it was Meatloaf who said I would do anything for love, and I did. I baked a cake with assistance from my mom, and we can eat it later. I need to take a shower. Oh, Polly will be here in a few, of course, since I wasn’t expecting you home.” 

 

“That’s fine, it’ll be nice to see her.” Kurt lies back on the pillows, his eyes raking over my bare chest. 

 

“Later.” 

 

“You bet.” 

 

“I love Meatloaf!” Alice suddenly says. Her whole face lights up and she sits upright. “I member, I do!”

 

“Meatloaf? I’ll make it for you sometime,” Kurt tells her, but she shakes her head and makes a face. 

 

“Not that one. Yukky. The singer. I love him! Like a BAT OUTTA HELL I BE GONE...” She takes up singing at top volume, and Kurt and I share a look. Neither of us have introduced her to him, and it’s not likely to have been Polly or Quinn, either. 

 

“Nick liked Meatloaf,” Kurt says, in shock. “How does she remember that?”

 

“Beats me.” I pause in the bathroom doorway. “Enjoy the singing, though.” 

 

It’s hard to leave such a picture perfect scene, but Alice is hell bent on performing all of Meatloaf’s back catalog, and Joshua is starting to get hungry, so I reluctantly depart, dragging Kurt out of sight at the last minute for a stolen kiss in the doorway. 

 

“I love you,” I whisper softly. “Always.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Kurt**

 

Being famous means always weighing up the pros and cons of going outside on any given day. Pros include getting to buy the stuff you need, getting to go places, see new things, get some fresh air. Cons include press snapping pictures whenever you happen to look less than perfect, fans asking for selfies, rude fans yelling down the street after you when you refuse, and people who don’t know you, staring at you while they try to figure out why you’re attracting so much attention. Each and every time I go to step outside of my front door, I have to think of all these things, and decide whether the trip is worth it. 

 

Then I met Blaine. 

 

Suddenly these things don’t seem to matter so much. It becomes more important that I get to spend time with him, and that the kids get to do things, and all the stress and worry takes a back seat. On my first day home, I don't consider any of the risks whatsoever when I decide to take the kids to meet him from work. 

 

I wear sunglasses, but only because it’s so bright out, and since I hate having hat hair all day, I forego my usual cap. The kids are excited, happy to be with me again, and their excitement is infectious. We sing as I drive us to Home Depot, and we’re still laughing about Joshy’s attempts at Puff the Magic Dragon when we park up. 

 

“He really puffs!” Maggie cries, and just to prove her point, Joshua blows air in my face, puffing out his cheeks. 

 

“Uff!” he cries, clapping his hands together. 

 

“Joshy can puff like a real dragon. Kurt, why can’t you puff like a dragon?” Alice asks. 

 

“Oh but I can, see?” I blow in her face, making her giggle. “Come on. Let’s find Blaine.” 

 

“Excuse me, you’re Kurt Hummel, right?” A mom stands with her son, holding a phone in her hand. “My son loves you...I do too.” She laughs nervously. “Could you... I mean...”

 

She holds her phone out and I take a breath, preparing to sound like a total douche. “I’m so sorry,” I say as gently as I can. “But I won’t do selfies when I’m with uh... my kids.”

 

“Just one? My son really is a big fan.” 

 

Truth be told, the kid looks like he couldn't care less, and he’s around nine; probably too young to have seen me in Cold Water. But I notice the mom’s phone case has the Cold Water logo on it, and I become a little more determined in my stance. “Sorry. Like I said, this is family time. But you know, we’ll be filming downtown next week. If you go along...I think we’re on ninth and tenth? I try to come out and sign, do pictures and stuff.”

 

“Yeah but everyone else will be there.” 

 

“Well, if I see you, I’ll make sure to come over.” I smile, squeeze the kid’s shoulder, and we walk away. 

 

“Thanks for nothing, asshole!” 

 

I flinch, but carry on walking, pushing the stroller so quickly that Alice and Maggie have to run to keep up. 

 

“Why was that lady mean?”

 

“Well, Alice, some people are like that.”

 

“Why did she want your picture?”

 

“Because I’m on TV and in movies, so she wanted to have a picture so she could show her friends.”

 

“But you’re ours,” Maggie points out. 

 

“Exactly. When I’m working, I don’t mind, but when I’m with you, I’m just your...”

 

“Papa?”

 

“Hmm. Maybe.” 

 

I am saved from further discussion when we enter the store and see Blaine right away, helping out a customer. 

 

“Bane!” Alice runs, and the look of total shock and delight on his face makes it all worth it. Blaine scoops her up, kisses her, and then holds his other arm out to Maggie. 

 

“What on earth are you doing?” he asks over the top of their heads. “Are you crazy?”

 

“It seemed like a good idea until some woman called me an... something in the parking lot.”

 

“An asshole,” Maggie says disapprovingly. “That’s what she called him.” 

 

“Why?”

 

“I said no pictures. Offered to look out for her if she came to filming, but that didn’t placate her.”

 

“But you’re off duty.”

 

“And he’s ours.” 

 

“Exactly.” Blaine kisses Maggie’s cheek. “Ours.” He looks over at me and winks. “Mine.”

 

I smile, already feeling better. “You finished or what?”

 

He glances up at the clock. “Yeah I guess so. I’ve gotta grab my jacket and hang my apron up, then I’ll be right out.”

 

Blaine isn’t longer than five minutes, but it’s five minutes during which I feel eyes on me everywhere, and Alice fills every second with questions. 

 

“Can you buy me a hammer?”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh. A screwdriver?”

 

“No.” 

 

“What’s these?”

 

“Hinges.”

 

“Can I have these?”

 

“No.” 

 

“What’s that wood over there?”

 

“Decking.”

 

“Can I have that?”

 

“No.” 

 

And so it goes on. By the time she’s asked for, and been refused, the entire contents of the store, Blaine is back, and he picks her up, laughing at her endless questions. “Do you know what give it a rest means?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Marvellous. Try it.” 

 

That makes me laugh, and I’m feeling a little less paranoid and worn down as we leave the store together. The woman and her son have gone, thank goodness, and we get the kids in the car without any hassle. 

 

“Home?” Blaine asks, coming around to my side of the car. 

 

“Well, I did kinda want to take you out for lunch, but now I’m wondering if that’s a good idea.” 

 

“Kurt...” He looks around, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I know how you feel, really, I do, but....fuck ‘em.” 

 

“Blaine!”

 

He laughs, and pins me against the car. “Okay. Fuck me, instead.” 

 

It’s only a curse word, but it sounds so incredibly hot, coming from Blaine, that I fist the front of his jacket and pull him into a long kiss. “Is that a genuine request?”

 

“I’m not sure,” he admits, blushing slightly. “Do something to me, I guess is a more accurate request.” 

 

“Ha! I’d love to. Kiss me again, though, before we go.” 

 

He obliges, of course, but we’re interrupted by a tiny fist banging on the window, reminding us to get moving. I choose to take them all to the hottest new brunch place in town, and yes, I do use my celebrity status to get a table, but there’s got to be some perks of the job. 

 

The kids love it, since they’re treated like royalty. Word is very much out that I have three small charges, and everyone is desperate to be able to say Kurt Hummel and his family have visited their establishment. Normally I’d have Quinn call a place beforehand, but as it is, when I offer to send a signed photo and write a good comment on their trendy new ‘guest wall,’ the manager immediately accepts and promises that no one will mention us being there until the next day. 

 

“Do you believe him?” Blaine asks when he’s left the table. 

 

“I do, actually. He looked nice. Is that dumb?”

 

“Nope. I was thinking the same. I don’t want to end up not trusting anyone. Sometimes instinct is accurate. I like it here. Good choice.” 

 

“Can I have my bounce house here?” Alice asks, and I look to Blaine for clarification. 

 

“Alice wants a party with a bounce house for her birthday, and no, you can’t,” Blaine says, patting her hand. “Not in a restaurant, sweetie.”

 

“But where, then?”

 

“I’m honestly not sure.” 

 

Blaine looks at me, and I look at him, both of us stuck for ideas. “I can’t have a party at the house,” I whisper. “I just can’t. I don’t know any of the kids, the parents...”

 

“I agree. But I feel like... Like we owe it to them to really celebrate their birthday’s, you know?”

 

“Yes. We could combine Joshua’s first birthday with Alice’s fourth, I guess, but...”

 

“Location. Mine and Sam’s apartment is too small. Cooper’s place is too...male. Santana and Dani’s is okay, but there’s no yard for a bounce house.” 

 

“Hmm. Quinn lives in a loft and I don’t feel we can ask Polly. I don’t know, Alice. I don’t think we can really do a bounce house, you know? Maybe we could hire this place and have a meal with some of your friends?”

 

There is no tantrum. Alice just looks down at the table and nods. “Okay, Kurtie. I’ll still be four though, right?”

 

“Absolutely you will, and it will be a wonderful day.”

 

We meet Cooper that afternoon. He’s fast becoming one of my favorite people to spend time with, and the six of us head out of town to Long Beach, where the kids enjoy playing in the sand as we sit and watch the waves roll in. I relay all of the birthday party woes to Cooper, while Blaine desperately tries to get Joshua to walk. 

 

“He’s not gonna do it on sand,” I point out. “Too soft.” 

 

“Take him down there, where it’s firmer,” Cooper suggests. He waits until Blaine has trudged off down the beach, then looks at me. “It’s Blaine’s birthday on the same day as Joshua’s.” 

 

“What? He didn’t say.”

 

“He’s super weird about birthdays. His own, anyway. Doesn’t like a big deal made of it. I think it’s because that’s what he’s like, you know? He never puts himself first.” 

 

“Aw shit. I’m gonna have to do something for him. Any suggestions?”

 

“Something just the two of you. I’ll sit.”

 

“Ok.”

 

“I’ll organize a party for Alice and Josh, too.”

 

“Josh? Who is this Josh of which you speak? I have a Joshua, but no Josh.”

 

“Sometimes, Kurt, your head is so up your pretentious asshole you can see daylight.”

 

“Rude.” 

 

“I’ll organize Alice and Joshy’s party, then.” He grins. 

 

“I hate you. But thanks for the offer. You don’t need to.”

 

“Need to? No. Want to, yes. I love them, Kurt.”

 

His admission stuns me, but then, when I think about it, I realize that of course he does. As his parents do, my dad, all of those around us. These kids are loved. I look down to the water, where Blaine has given up teaching Joshua, and is dangling his little legs into the water instead. 

 

“Yeah okay. Thank you.” 

 

He nods, then heads over to the girls, while I find Blaine at the water’s edge. “He’s enjoying that.” 

 

“Yeah.” 

Joshua holds our fingers on either side, giggling as he tries to jump up and down. “Won’t be long, with the walking.”

 

“I know. I just don’t want him to do it when you’re not here, that’s all. Or worse, when neither of us are here.”

 

“He’s not even one yet.”

 

“Fifteen days, Kurt. Not far off.” He picks him up and holds him on his hip. “What are we going to do about this party? I don’t want to let Alice down. And Joshy...I don’t want him to look back and realize we did nothing for his first birthday because his parents were too scared that someone might sell pictures to the press.” 

 

“Parents?”

 

“Um...” He blinks, and looks out to sea. “That was a little slip. Sorry. I meant us. I mean, I know we’re not... I’m certainly not...”

 

“Blaine.” I stop him, my hand wrapping around his wrist. “It’s okay.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Saying that.”

 

“But....” 

 

I bring one hand to the back of his neck and draw him close, kissing his lips softly. “I love you, Blaine. You could never let Alice down, or any of us. As it is, Cooper said he’ll organize something so...”

 

“Oh jeez.”

 

“Well, I know, but I think it’s a sweet offer. As for you, and us... Are you happy?”

 

He frowns. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“I’m just checking. You seem a little sad.” 

 

“I think I’m gonna struggle, on and off,” he admits. “Not with us, you understand, or being with you... That’s kinda all I want, really. Us, the kids... we’re a family, and I love that.”

 

“The lifestyle?”

 

“Yeah. That woman... Maggie said you were really nice to her, and it frustrates me that people think they know you well enough to talk to you like that. The party... worrying over who might come, whether we can trust them. It’s a world away to how my life has been.”

 

“I get that. It was the same for me too, of course, but then I was the one who put myself out there. Growing up with dad, it was safe, quiet... and even being here in college was nothing compared to how my life changed.”

 

“Do you miss it?”

 

“I miss privacy, yes. Even more so now, with us, and the kids. I like the money. I like doing a job I love. I dislike the pressure, the need other people have to know all about me.”

 

“So in hindsight, would you do it all again?”

 

“It led me to you, so yes.” 

 

Blaine laughs and slips his arm about my waist as we walk. “I’m forever grateful for that. I do wish we’d had a chance to date, though.”

 

“But we didn’t fall in love in the conventional way though, did we? And maybe we wouldn’t have, if the kids hadn’t forced us to spend time together. I certainly wouldn’t have asked you out, and you wouldn’t have thought of me in that way.” 

 

“I think I was always thinking of you in that way, if I’m honest. I remember googling you and being stunned at how beautiful you were. And the first time I saw you? You looked like a model. Still do, in fact, but now I know you; the real you, and that makes it even better.” 

 

“Remember when you told me you hoped love would just happen? How you didn’t want to force it?”

 

He smiles. “Yeah. Guess that really came true, huh?”

 

“I’d say so.” 

 

We walk back to Cooper and the girls, both of us feeling content for now. The journey home is blissfully quiet; even Cooper is worn out. We pick up food; Thai for the adults and, shamefully, McDonald’s for the girls, which they think is brilliant. Poor Joshua desperately eyes up their fries and nuggets, and gets rewarded with leftovers from the previous night’s dinner. 

 

We leave Cooper in the living room while we get the kids to bed, but when we come back downstairs he’s in the office, feet up on the desk, writing something on a pad. 

 

“Okay kids, listen up. We can have the party at mom and dad’s.” 

 

“What? That’s like, an hour away,” Blaine points out. 

 

“Yeah, and you know what? If people are prepared to drive their three or four year old kid an hour upstate to a birthday party, then they’re either decent people or incredibly nosy, and if it’s the latter, all they’ll get to see is our parent’s yard. Big deal.” 

 

I sit down in the chair and think it over. “That’s a good point. But your parents?”

 

“Are ecstatic. They already think of them as...” He stops. “I mean, you know, they love them, so... And safety in numbers, right? Sam, Dani and Santana can come. Your dad too, Kurt. Polly, Quinn. That makes eleven adults looking to protect three little ones from prying eyes, cameras, and so on. Alice can have her bounce house, we can celebrate Joshy turning one... It’ll be a great day. I’ll contact the pre-school tomorrow and ask if there’s any way we can contact parents, or they can do it for us. I’ll talk to Alice and find out the names of her friends. I did ask earlier, but she listed all of the Avengers and Care Bears.” 

 

“Cooper, are you sure you don’t want a job?”

 

He laughs. “Nah, man. I’m good.” 

 

“I mean it. I need an assistant. Someone who I’m comfortable with, who’ll keep me grounded, someone I can trust in this house, and with the kids. Please?”

 

“You’re serious?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Blaine?”

 

Blaine shrugs. “I’d love it if you did that, but it’s your call.” 

 

“I’ll think on it,” he decides, and that’s good enough for now. In the meantime, I can convince Blaine to persuade him. 

 

As much as I love Cooper, and the kids, the best time of the day comes when it’s just Blaine and I, when he takes me by the hand and leads me to the conservatory, ordering me to sit. 

 

“I owe you a concert,” he explains, settling at the piano. “And we can’t really go out, so...”

 

He plays Be Our Guest, and sings with a perfect French accent. His foolishness makes me laugh, and I hop up onto the piano instead so I can see him better. “Bravo!” I cry when he’s done, and of course, he takes an extravagant bow.

 

“Any requests?”

 

“Hmm. Yeah. Your own stuff. I love the covers, but your own songs show me you, and I love that.” 

 

“Okay.” He plays a few chords. “Yeah. Soul baring coming right up.” 

 

And Blaine’s songs are just that. A window into him, his hopes, his dreams, his fears, and now, his love. He sings me two new ones, both clearly about us, and my heart fills up with joy to hear him singing of loving me so much, and also of how much he feels my love in return. I shuffle along the top of the piano until I’m closer to him, then lean down, trying to catch his lips. 

 

“Uh-uh.” He smiles. “Sing with me first. That was the deal, remember?”

 

“We weren’t lovers then.”

 

“Sing with me,” he repeats, and really, who can turn down the chance to sing a selection of Disney songs with someone as wonderful as Blaine? It’s the most magical, fun evening I’ve had for a long time, and I know Blaine feels it too, because he pushes back the stool during I’ll Make a Man out of You, and leans toward me. 

 

“How could I make a man out of you?” we both sing, and then we’re kissing; hot, frantic, desperate. In a shocking move- for Blaine, anyhow- he climbs onto the piano, pushing me back until he’s on top of me and then, I begin to laugh. 

 

“Really?” He sighs heavily and drops his head onto my shoulder. “What’s funny?”

 

“Your brother told me that if you ever gave me a private concert I’d be naked on the piano within ten minutes.” 

 

“Must we bring my brother into this?” He kisses my lips, letting his tongue run into my mouth. “Anyway, you’re still clothed, and it’s been twenty five minutes, actually. As hot as making love on a grand piano sounds, I’m not taking the risk of small people coming downstairs to catch us.” 

 

I wriggle out from underneath him, jump from the piano, and close the double doors, pulling the curtain across. Blaine sits, raising one eyebrow. “That works.” 

 

I step between his legs, looking up at him and he grins, leaning down and kissing just behind my ear. “You’re crazy hot,” he whispers. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. Get up here.” 

 

Blaine’s voice is low, gravelly, and it sets me on fire. I pull my sweater over my head, shuck out of my jeans, and then I’m on top of him, fumbling to get his clothes off while kissing him as hard as I can. 

 

This is still new to both of us, but we’re gradually gaining confidence; helped, I think, by the depth of the friendship we had already formed. It doesn’t matter when things aren’t perfect; when I can’t get Blaine’s pants open or when his elbow hits me as he pulls his shirt off, because we laugh, make dumb comments, and then get back to it. 

 

Blaine’s hands wander far more than they have previously, almost as if he wants to touch every part of me. He squeezes my ass, and, propped on one elbow, I read his thought process as it plays out across his face. He wants to move his fingers further, I know, but he’s not ready yet, and so I kiss him gently, tangling my fingers into his hair to keep him close. 

 

“This feels amazing,” I murmur. “Being naked with you.”

 

He smiles, and kisses me again. “I love you. You always know what to say.” 

 

“It’s not that. It just really does feel amazing. Does it weird you out?”

 

“No.” He laughs. “The opposite, in fact. It feels completely natural, and right. It also makes me want things. So many things.”

 

“Oh?” I trail a finger down his chest, and get rewarded with a shudder. “What kind of things?”

 

Blaine usually deflects such questions, either by saying he doesn’t know, or by kissing me to shut me up, but this time, he jumps off the piano, pulls me to the edge and stands between my legs. “This,” he says simply, and then he takes me into his mouth. 

 

“Oh fuck yes.” 

 

The trembling of his fingers on my thighs give his nerves away, but he doesn’t stop. He uses his tongue, mainly, which suits me just fine, but occasionally he takes me deeper, pulling back just before he gags. 

 

“That’s like....really good.” I try for coherent speech, but it comes out as little more than a desperate whine. “Really good.” 

 

It’s undeniably pleasurable for both of us; while I try to stay as still as possible, Blaine’s hands wander everywhere, his fingers digging in hard to my hips, then moving up to rub over my niples, then to my thighs. In the end, unable to help myself any longer, I fist the back of his hair and push him to take me deeper. 

 

“Blaine, I need to warn you.”

 

He stops momentarily and looks up. His lips are a deep red, his eyes dark, his voice slightly hoarse. “That’s fine.”

 

“That’s...” He takes me deep again and I sigh happily. “That’s fine. Yes. Right...Oh God.” 

 

I feel my stomach coiling tight, feel Blaine’s fingers gripping me, feel his throat hollow around me, and then I come. “Blaine... Oh...” 

 

He makes no attempt to pull off, and so I spill entirely into his mouth, shuddering hard when I’m done. He waits, then straightens up, and swallows, wincing slightly. 

 

“That’s... Well.” He shrugs. “That’s a thing that happened, then.” 

 

“Fuck.” Pulling him close, I kiss him over and over, running my tongue into his mouth as much as I can. When we part, Blaine grins, all loved-up and happy. “It was good?”

 

“It was amazing. Here.”

 

I jump down, and immediately sink to my knees. Blaine is politeness personified; resting his hand on my shoulder and barely making a sound. I keep my mouth around him, but look up, and move his hands into my hair. 

 

“Oh. You want me to?”

 

I hum. 

 

“I’ve never done this before.”

 

That makes me stop. “You’ve never gotten a blow job?”

 

“No. Well, I mean, I have, but not.... Um... not...No. I haven’t, apart from you, the other day. That was kinda incredible.”

 

“Never?”

 

“No, I just said that.” 

 

“Oh Blaine.” I grin wickedly. “Just you wait.” 

 

I’ve possibly never enjoyed sex more; Blaine leans against the piano and I make sure to work him the best I can. It doesn’t take long for him to figure that the harder he pulls my hair the more I like it, and the deeper I take him, and then he starts to move his hips back and forth, too. 

 

“Kurt.”

 

That one utterance, soft, yet desperate and on edge, makes me double my efforts. I tease with my tongue, then take him deep, then move back to teasing again. I break quickly, to wet my thumb, and then I get back to it and tentatively move my hand to his ass. 

 

I’m not sure how he’ll react; chances are if he’s never had a blowjob before then he’s certainly never had hands roaming like this, but although he gasps, and his knees shake slightly, he doesn’t ask me to stop. My thumb presses over his entrance, pushing. 

 

“Oh fuck, fuck, Kurt, I...” He pulls my hair hard as he comes, and his orgasm lasts for the longest time. As soon as he’s done, he falls to his knees, exhausted, and rests his head onto my shoulder. “Holy crap.” 

 

Pulling him close, I kiss his cheek and smooth his hair back from his forehead. “We’re gonna have so much fun, you and I.” 

 

He laughs, squeezing me around my waist. “I can’t wait.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Blaine**

 

That night, I find myself exhausted, yet too wired to sleep. Kurt and I lie side by side in bed, holding hands, talking about our college lives. Though he studied at NYADA and I took music at NYU, our college experiences weren’t vastly different to one another. 

 

“It’s strange to think we were living in the city at the same time,” Kurt muses. “I wonder if our paths crossed and we didn’t know it?”

 

“They might have done. I used to play in O'Donnell's a lot. You know the Irish bar right near NYADA?”

 

“I know the place, yeah, but I didn’t go there much. Maybe twice. I was too busy being gay; you were too busy repelling women.” 

 

I laugh and turn onto my side. “I wasn't that bad!” 

 

He mirrors my pose, tucking his hands under his chin. “What would you have thought of me, I wonder, if we’d met then?”

 

“I think I would’ve fallen for you. I think I was always destined to fall for you.”

 

“Yeah? How does that make you feel, since I’m a guy?”

 

“Not bothered, really. I don’t know. I can’t explain.” I think for a while, and my ever impatient Kurt drums his fingers on the bed between us. “It’s like... Like everything, every tiny, little thing, is right. Not perfect, but right. Emotionally, you get me on a far deeper level than anyone ever has before. Same sense of humor, same likes, dislikes. You listen to my worries, my fears, you don’t judge me...”

 

“I do judge you a little bit.”

 

“Hey!” Digging him in the ribs, I laugh when he squeals. “You’re so rude. Anyway. I...I can’t explain it better than there being a connection. Like this was always meant to be, like I’m coming home. Physically... Should I talk about that? Does it make me shallow?”

 

“To talk about sex? No. It’s an important part of any relationship.”

 

“That’s just it, though. It never has been for me. I’ve had...y’know, proper sex with two girls, and it just wasn’t really anything all that special. Then you press against me in a pair of jeans, and I come in my pants!”

 

Kurt laughs so hard he can barely breathe. It takes a long time for him to compose himself, and his laughter is infectious, meaning I’m soon wiping away tears and clutching my stomach. “It’s not funny!”

 

“It is, though, because when I think back to that moment, all I could think was ‘it’s Blaine,’ over and over. And I just knew. I knew as soon as I felt that you were hard, that I was gonna end up making a fool of myself. You’re let off, since it was your first time with a guy.” 

 

“I didn’t want a guy, though,” I point out. “I wanted you. And I still do. All of the time.”

 

He settles down again, letting his fingers trail along my collarbone. “I thought you’d had more sexual experience than that, I must say. Not that it’s a bad thing. Just a surprise.” 

 

“I’ve fooled around and stuff with a few girls, but yeah. I’ll be honest, I never understood what all the fuss was about, until now.”  

 

Kurt nods. “Blaine Anderson loves cock, who’d have thought?”

 

“You are so dirty.” 

 

“I know.” He grins. “I feel the same. About being with you, I mean. It’s phenomenal.”

 

“Really? Cause I’m kinda conscious that we’re maybe not doing all you want to do.”

 

“Oh but we are, Blaine, trust me. Anyway, we’ve got our whole lives, right?” 

 

“Good point.” 

 

We stare at each other, smiles twitching on our faces that soon change into big grins. Then we laugh again, though neither of us could really say why. “We should sleep.”

 

“Can’t sleep,” Kurt declares. “I like looking at you too much.” 

 

“We’ve got our whole lives though, right?”

 

“Very true.” He sighs contentedly and cuddles close. “Wake me up with kisses.” 

 

I do, of course. Who wouldn’t? Kurt makes me aspire to be a better man, a more thoughtful, caring and honest person, and more open and affectionate than I’ve ever been before. His very presence inspires that in me, and I’ll be forever thankful that somehow, the powers that be brought us together. 

 

Our kisses don’t last for long; three kids arrive and this time, Maggie and Alice are walking Joshua between them, all of them pink cheeked with sleepy delight. 

 

“Let go of him,” Kurt says softly, almost as if his voice might startle Joshua and ruin it all. “Let’s see.... Come on, Joshy. Come to Kurt.”

 

“Papa?”

 

“Come to...” He stops, and grins. “Yes. Come to papa, come on.” He holds out his arms and I kneel on the bed next to him, excitedly waiting. The girls gently prise their fingers free, and then, slowly wobbling, Joshua takes one step and then another. 

 

“He’s...” Kurt squeaks, but then we all fall silent again. 

 

Joshua gives a gummy grin and then, one, two, three, four steps, all on his own, before he lands on his padded backside and claps.

 

“He did it!” Kurt cries, scrambling to pick him up. “Blaine, our baby can walk! Look at him! Look at him, girls, what a smart brother you have!” He throws him high in the air, over and over, until Joshua is giggling hard, and then he places him on the bed, kissing all over him. We all pile in; a laughing, happy mess, and I wonder, in that moment, if anything has ever been more perfect. 

 

Catching Kurt’s eye, I blow a kiss to him over the top of Maggie’s head. “Papa.”

 

He smiles softly, smoothing Joshua’s hair back from his head, his adoration for him clear. “Well, I mean, he.... It’s just a word, really, isn’t it? That’s all.”

 

“Mmhmm. Keep telling yourself that, Kurt, just like we tried to convince ourselves that our friendship was platonic.” 

 

“It was! I mean...” He drifts off into thought, and I turn my attentions to Alice, sitting astride my stomach, listing song requests. 

 

“Do you know Twinkle Twinkle?”

 

“You know I do.”

 

“In French?”

 

“No. I know it in Spanish.”

 

“That’s no good. Chinese?”

 

“Can’t say I do.” 

 

“Joshy wants you to sing all of the songs from Tangled.” 

 

“Joshy does, or you?”

 

She shrugs, then giggles. “Me a bit. But Joshy can walk now.” 

 

“What’s that got to do with anything? You’re crazy, you are.” 

 

Her full belly laugh makes both me and Maggie laugh too, and Joshua starts climbing over me to see what all the fuss is about. “Bae?”

 

“Alice is a crazy cat.” 

 

“Isss.”

 

She covers her eyes with her hands. “I am!” she screeches, laughing. “I am a crazy cat. You got me, Bane!”

 

We’re having such a good time that I almost forget about Kurt, lost in his own daydream, but suddenly he comes back to life. “We were never platonic, were we? You’re right.” 

 

“Ha! You’ve only just realized?”

 

“Yes. When did you figure?”

 

“Flying back from Vancouver. I got thinking, and I realized that we were always kind of...Lovers without the...y’know, extra stuff.” 

 

“Worst platonic besties ever.”

 

“Best besties ever,” I correct. 

 

“Is Kurt your best friend?” Maggie asks. “I like that.”

 

“He is. The best of the best. Come on then, breakfast time, and then we’ll see if Joshua can run.” 

 

“For real?” Maggie asks, trailing me out of the bedroom. “Because I think that’s too much. I think that maybe that would make you the crazy one, and not Alice.” 

 

“Oh Maggie.” I laugh, and ruffle her hair. “I do love you.” 

 

It’s so wonderfully refreshing to be all together again, that we’re at a loss for what to do with our time. The day is hot; far too nice to be indoors or even to stay in Brooklyn. In the end, it is Maggie who quietly suggests we go swimming, and Kurt seizes the idea, deciding we should all visit a new water park in New Jersey. 

 

“I read about it. It has a massive kids area.”

 

“Yeah, but... photos?”

 

“I don’t care. I just want to spend a perfect day together.” 

 

“Okay.” I shrug off the feeling of unease and smile. “Sure. Let’s do it.” 

 

The waterpark is fun, there’s no denying, though it takes a long time for my nerves to settle. The thought of being responsible for three small children near a large body of water terrifies me, and I keep panicking every time Maggie wades deeper than her knees. 

 

“Calm down,” Kurt says, laughing. Joshua sits in the shallow water, between his legs, splashing. “They’re perfectly safe. Take Alice on that slide over there.” 

 

“I don’t know if...”

 

“Slide!” she demands, and pulls me over to it. Her delight is what makes me relax, and we end up riding it six times before she’ll let me go back to Kurt. 

 

“Was that good, sweetie?” Kurt looks up at her through his sunglasses, impossibly beautiful as ever. 

 

“Awesome.”

 

“Good. Maggie? You want a turn?”

 

“No thank you, Kurt. I would cry.”

 

“She would,” Alice says knowledgeably. “But I am the crazy cat, right Blaine?”

 

“Completely right.” 

 

We play in the water for a long time, and Kurt was right; the kids love it, we love it, and it’s just fun to do something so free and easy for a change. Eventually we move into the shade and grab ice creams. Joshua falls asleep, wrapped in a towel on my lap, and it’s impossible to move, so it’s Kurt’s turn to take the girls to the bathroom. 

 

I pick up my phone, to text my mom about the party, and I find three more or less identical texts from Sam, Cooper, and Santana. Our pictures are online. 

 

It doesn’t take long to find them. Taken by fans, the first picture I find has Kurt and Joshua sitting together in the water. His face isn’t blurred, and Maggie can also be seen in the background. Then there’s Alice and I coming down the slide, only whoever took that did think to put an emoji over her face, at least. The comments are endless, the pictures are reblogged, retweeted, recaptioned all over the internet, and by the time Kurt returns, I feel like I’m going to vomit. 

 

“Everyone knows we’re here.” 

 

“Huh?” He sits next to me at the table, and I hand over my phone. “Girls, you can play, but stay close,” Kurt instructs. “Don’t go back in the water. And don’t talk to anyone,” he adds as he begins to read. “Crap.”

 

“They didn’t blur their faces,” I point out. “I mean, we could... we should sue, or something. Right?”

 

“We can’t. Most news sites won’t publish these, though. They adhere to a common code of conduct that involves not posting pictures of celebrity kids when they can be clearly seen. But there’s no law. We could be in the background of a million different photos in our lifetime without ever knowing.” 

 

“Yeah but this is different, Kurt. This is us trying to have a day out. It was perfect, and now someone...” I look about at all the people. “Some people are taking pictures of us. Probably right now. Uploading them before we’ve even had a chance to look at our own pictures from the day.” 

 

He covers my hand with his own. “I know, Blaine. I know how much it upsets you, but what can we do?”

 

“Nothing, I guess.” I sigh heavily. “It just pisses me off. I don’t want our family day out ruined.” 

 

“Think on this; No one knows us. They can take all the pictures they want, speculate about why we’re here, or what this or that look on our faces means. But no one is in our relationship except for us. No one sees us behind closed doors. No one shares our lives except those we choose to let in, and that’s always gonna be the way it is.”

 

I think back to this morning, to all of us piled on the bed, laughing together, celebrating Joshua’s walking. “Yeah.”

 

“Yes, Kurt, you’re right?” he teases. 

 

“Yes, you’re right, as always, and though it still pisses me off, and I still wish people would let us get on with our lives, I guess... if they’re going to take photos and pour over every detail, we might as well make it worth their while.” 

 

Kurt frowns. “What?” 

 

I lean in, bringing one hand to the back of his neck and pulling him into a long, deep, and not very family-friendly kiss. “Wait til that hits the internet.” 

 

“Oh, I think you’ve probably just broken it.” Kurt grins, and kisses my lips again. “Thank you, though.” 

 

“I’ll always try my best to accept this lifestyle, okay? That’s all I can promise. I hope it’s enough.” 

 

“It will be.” 

 

We both startle as Joshua begins to wake. “Take the girls back in the water,” I suggest. “I’ll bring the little man when he’s a bit more with it.” I look over my shoulder as they walk away, and spot two girls trying to hide their phones away. This time, instead of getting upset, I decide to overlook it. No one knows Kurt like I do. 

 

“A kissing montage!” Cooper laughs loudly again and shakes his head. “Seriously, little bro. Even six months ago, did you ever think there’d be a montage of you, kissing a guy, online, with hundreds of thousands of comments?” 

 

“You know the answer to that.” 

 

“I think my favorite is the one of you two sucking face in Home Depot parking lot. You look like you were about to devour him. Do you have a ship name yet?”

 

I roll my eyes, pick Alice up from the floor, and hand her to Cooper. “Go put Alice in the car. I told mom and dad we’d be there by twelve. Kurt? We need to get going.” 

 

His reply comes from somewhere upstairs, but I don’t hear it too clearly. We’re both nervous about the impending party, but Alice is ecstatic, and has been wearing her custom made Batman party dress since six thirty this morning. She’s now four, as she tells anyone and everyone, and she now heads out to the car, ready to go, singing a song she made up all about how wonderful it is to be four. 

 

Maggie appears, impeccably turned out in a pale blue sundress, her long blond hair hanging down her back. She carries a white cardigan, and has white sandals on her feet. “You look like an angel.” 

 

“And I have to share a car with batgirl.” 

 

“There is that.” I laugh, and kiss her cheek. “Indulge her. It’s her special day. Yours in a few months.” 

 

“Kurt is making Joshy look just like you.”

 

“What?” 

 

“You’ll see.” She skips off to the car, and I wait at the bottom of the stairs for them to appear. It’s amazing to see how fast Joshua is growing up; turning from a baby to a little person right before our eyes. He appears, holding Kurt’s finger as he wobbles along, before he gets scooped up and carried down the stairs. My heart soars when I realize what Maggie means. We’re both in beige shorts and a blue plaid shirt, but what makes it even cuter is the tiny blue bowtie that Joshua wears to match my own. His hair is freshly washed and it curls cutely. Not all over the place, like mine does if I don’t tame it, but adorably softly over his ears and forehead. 

 

“He looks like my son.” 

 

“He is your son,” Kurt says, placing him into my arms. 

 

I hadn’t noticed I’d spoken aloud, but when Kurt replies I find myself unable to form any more words, so I just kiss Joshua’s little round cheek, and carry him out to the car. 

 

“You okay, dude?” 

 

I nod at my brother, get Joshua into his car seat and then wait for Kurt to emerge. He takes my hand as I drive, squeezes gently, and smiles. It’s enough. 

 

Far from being stressed out or worried about hosting a birthday party for a celebrity’s offspring, my parents are positively bursting with excitement. It helps, of course, that they have no real clue as to the level of Kurt’s fame, and also, he’s Kurt. 

 

My parents both hug him close, my mom fusses over whether or not he’s lost weight and is he eating properly while filming, and then there’s the kids. They have gifts galore for Alice; my mom has handmade a blue dress for her, with the Captain America logo on the front, and there’s a Care Bear, plus a ukulele, which my dad confidently assures her that I will teach her how to play. 

 

“Lessons, Bane. Right now.” 

 

“Not right now, buttercup. Your friends will be here soon.” 

 

“But where is the bounce house?”

 

My mom lifts her into her arms. “Come take a look in the yard.” 

 

We wait, and soon enough there comes a yell of delight. Cooper has done an amazing job; hiring caterers, a superhero bounce house, and a party firm who have decorated all the yard and set out chairs, tables, and toys for the kids. There’s a magician, someone who makes balloon animals, and a face painter. It’s the perfect birthday party for a four year old and an almost one year old, I think. 

 

“For God’s sake, be my assistant,” Kurt begs Cooper. “I could be paying you to do all of this. I could be paying you to insult me on a daily basis and tell me when I’m stepping out of line.” 

 

My brother laughs. “Tempting. I don’t know, Kurt. I said I’d think about it, and I’m still thinking.”

 

“You Anderson boys take an age to think things through,” Kurt grumbles, but just when I think of a witty comeback, Burt arrives. 

 

“About damn time you two came to your senses!” he booms, crushing us both in his arms. The kids run to him, my parents bustle over, and life is complete, and relatively peaceful until the guests arrive.

 

In total, there are ten kids plus our three, and a lot of adults, since Dani, Santana, and Sam all come up from the city, too. The house is closed off apart from access to the bathroom, and Kurt and I already decided that we would make a concerted effort to tone down the affection for today; it often creeps in without us noticing. 

 

I’m happy, though; Alice is loving every second, and she keeps Maggie close by, so she’s not left out. Joshua toddles about, delighting everyone, and the parents are all friendly, but not intrusive. I see Kurt start to relax, sitting under a tree with his dad and my mom, and finally, I feel some of the tension leave my body. 

 

“Beer?” 

 

I turn to see a woman I don’t know offering a bottle, and I accept with a nod of thanks. 

 

“I’m Charlotte’s nanny,” she says brightly. “Her parents couldn’t make it.” 

 

“Oh. Right. I’m um...” I stop, not sure how to introduce myself. 

 

“Kurt’s boyfriend, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes.” I smile, pride filling me up. “Yes I am. Blaine.” 

 

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for having us. Your daughter is adorable. Charlotte often mentions her.”

 

“She’s not... She...” I’m lost, floundering, and I look about for Kurt, but he’s now in the bounce house with Santana, holding Joshua between them. Alice is tearing about the yard, her face painted as Batman. “She’s wonderful,” I say, hoping it will suffice. 

 

“I get the feeling her sister is a very different character?”

 

“Yes. Maggie is quieter. Just as loving and kind, though.” 

 

“And your son looks the image of you. I was watching you with him earlier.”

 

“Oh, he’s...” I pause again. “He’s not biologically mine,” I tell her quietly. 

 

“I am so sorry.” The woman covers her mouth, mortified at her mistake. “I just assumed... The girls...”

 

“No. Uh... None of them are biologically Kurt’s, either.”

 

“You adopted. Right.”

 

I shrug. “Little more complex. Kurt inherited them, I guess. Took them in as a favor to a friend who died. I’m not... I mean, he’s fostering them, but Kurt and I have only been together a short time. Technically I’m nothing to do with them. I mean, I am, because...but you know... It’s Kurt who’s the foster parent.”

 

“I see. Well, forgive me.”

 

“It’s fine.” I smile warmly, hoping she doesn’t feel too terrible. 

 

“For what it’s worth,” she says as we survey the party. “I think you’re wonderful with them, and you and Kurt look very happy.” 

 

“We are. We definitely are.” I grin, and wave over to a disheveled Kurt who is emerging from the bounce house and laughing hard. He waves back, and blows a kiss. “I’d better...”

 

“Of course,” she says, resting a hand on my arm. “Really nice to meet you, Blaine.” 

 

“Likewise.” 

 

It’s a long day, and I don’t really get a second alone with Kurt. Even so, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Everyone seems to have a good time, and after the guests have left, we sit in the yard with my parents, Cooper, and Burt, late into the evening. Eventually, Joshua falls sound asleep in Kurt’s arms, while Alice crashes out completely on my mom, snoring loudly. Maggie moves from lap to lap, eventually settling on me with her thumb lodged firmly in her mouth, and her eyes are closed in moments.  

 

“Tell you what, kids,” Burt says, fairly quietly for him. “For two guys who didn’t want kids, and one who wasn’t attracted to men, you’ve done okay.” 

 

I laugh, because it’s undeniably true. “I blame Kurt for everything.”

 

“You blame him, we all thank him,” my dad says. “Thought you were left on the shelf, there.”

 

“Cooper still is.” 

 

My brother kicks me, and sticks his tongue out. “I’ll have you know, I scored two dates and one phone number this afternoon, Blainey boy.”

 

“Only because they want the gossip on your brother’s famous other half.” 

 

“Ah hell, I didn’t even think about that! I’m gonna have to cancel, aren’t I?”

 

“No, don’t do that.” Kurt laughs and shakes his head. “I’m in awe of your skills. Go out with them, tell them I’m a pompous ass.” 

 

“I will.” Satisfied, he gets to his feet and stretches. “Right. Let’s get these cars on the road. Burt, I’m riding with you.” 

 

It’s almost midnight by the time we get Burt installed in the guest room, and the kids into their respective beds. Kurt reaches for me the moment we turn the light out, and we share a long kiss. 

 

“Needed that,” he says with a sigh. His hands play with my hair as he kisses my cheek again. “It went well, didn’t it?”

 

“Yes. I met some nice people.”

 

“Good. I’m glad.”

 

I don’t add that I didn’t know how to introduce myself, or how to explain my relationship to the kids.

 

Kurt yawns loudly. “Tomorrow’s just us, right?”

 

“Tomorrow is work at ten for me.”

 

“Boo.” 

 

“I know. But at least I get to come home to you.”

 

“To us,” Kurt says, verging on sleep. “Yeah. Love you, Blaine.”

 

I kiss into his hair, and close my eyes. “Love you too.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Kurt**

 

The morning of Blaine’s birthday, my body clock wakes me early, and I’m glad because for once, Blaine is still sleeping, and so it is my turn to wake him with kisses. 

 

Actually, I wake him by sucking him off until he comes, but there’s definite romance in there somewhere, and Blaine certainly appreciates it. I love the confidence he is gaining when we make love; he likes to jostle with me for domination sometimes, and we sure do have a hell of a lot of fun together. Today, when he’s done, he’s quick to return the favor, and he now knows the way to my undoing. 

 

“We need to switch things up a bit, keep you on your toes,” I say when we lie together afterwards. “You’re getting far too good at that. I liked you as a novice.” 

 

“No, you liked me when I was too afraid to try anything. You’ll love me even more when I’m riding you.” 

 

“Blaine!”

 

He laughs, and tackles me back against the pillows. “I love you, Mr. Hummel.” 

 

“I love you too, birthday boy.”

 

His eyes go wide. “What? Who told you?”

 

“Who do you think?”

 

“I’ll kill him.”

 

“No you won’t. Come on, Blaine, this is supposed to be a serious thing between us, right?”

 

“You know it is.”

 

“So then, I’m gonna wonder when your birthday is at some point, right?”

 

“Fine, but you don’t need to do anything, okay? It’s Joshua’s first birthday and that’s far more important than some random guy turning twenty eight.” 

 

“You’re the love of my life, and I want to celebrate the fact that you were born, because I, for one, am thankful, just as I’m thankful Joshua was born, too. So we’re celebrating.” 

 

He pouts, and it’s adorable, but I still set about kissing it away until he’s smiling against my lips. “I’m the love of your life,” he whispers happily. “I like that.” 

 

“Good. By the way, I’m taking you out tonight.” 

 

“What?”

 

“Cooper’s sitting.”

 

“Oh no.”

 

“He’ll be fine.”

 

“He might be, but the kids won’t.”

 

“Calm down. You said once that it's a shame we couldn’t date, so that’s what we’re doing. Going out on a date. Be ready for seven, and wear a suit.”

 

“Are we going somewhere fancy?”

 

“No, I just really want to take it off you again at the end of the night.” 

 

He grins, covering his eyes with his hands. “Okay.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes!” I kiss his chest and haul myself out of bed. “Kurt Hummel has a date.” 

 

I leave him behind, still laughing to himself, and head downstairs to make breakfast. Blaine might like to pretend his birthday isn’t happening, but there’s no way that I’m going to ignore his special day, and certainly not when it’s Joshua’s birthday as well. 

 

Of course, being one, Joshua has no real clue what a birthday is, but he does appreciate pancakes for breakfast, and Blaine enjoys himself too, helped, I think, by the fact that both Maggie and Alice sit in his lap and present him with a homemade card. 

 

“Kurt when can we give Blaine his secret present? The one you said not to tell about?”

 

I hold my head in my hands. “How about now, Maggie? You might as well.” 

 

She runs off, returning in a second with a small box. The silver key fob inside has discs that hold their fingerprints, and is inscribed with their ages and names. It’s cute, and it moves Blaine to tears as I knew it would. 

 

Sometimes, with Blaine, I get the feeling that he wants to say a lot more than he does. I know he’s happy, definitely, but still waters run deep, and every so often there’s moments where he seems on the brink of speaking up, but then he shuts his thoughts away. He sits, staring down at the key fob, running his finger over the prints, and then he looks up, opens his mouth, decides against it, and kisses Maggie’s hair, instead. 

 

“We have presents for Joshy, too, of course,” he says, chucking him under the chin. 

 

“They can wait until your parents arrive.” I set more pancakes down and busy myself with pouring syrup over my own stack. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh, didn’t I say? I invited them over. Cooper too. They’ll be here in an hour.” 

 

“Kurt!” 

 

I laugh, dodging the balled-up napkin he hurls at me. “I love you, and I told you already, we’re very thankful you were born.” 

 

It’s the first time Blaine’s parents have been to our home, and I’m not entirely sure that I should be as excited as I actually am, but it feels like a very real moment to me; an important acknowledgement of how serious we are. 

 

“We live together,” I blurt when I open the door, and Peter laughs and hugs me. “I know you do, my dear boy, and we’re very happy for you.”

 

It’s just the most perfect time, though I do miss my own dad. Joshua is far more interested in the wrapping paper than his actual gifts, but he does scream with delight when Blaine sets him down in front of a mini piano. He ‘sings’ in his own special way, and bangs the keys hard, until Blaine gently lifts him into his lap and settles with him on the floor to play some simple tunes. 

 

“Bae,” Joshua says happily, and Blaine smiles, then goes into deep thought. 

 

“You okay, Blaine?”

 

He doesn't answer his mom, or me, but he does come back to life when Cooper hits him, and he laughs it off by saying he was daydreaming. 

 

“Blaine? Can you help me in the kitchen please?” 

 

He follows me from the room; looking perfectly happy, and he seems genuinely surprised when I ask him why he keeps drifting off. 

 

“I do?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh. Well, I uh... I don’t know, really. I just... We’re a family, aren’t we, Kurt?”

 

“What? Of course we are! What makes you ask something like that?”

 

“Nothing, really. I guess...I can’t quite believe all this is happening, you know? I’ve never had anything like this before, with anyone, and now it’s like suddenly we’re this family, with kids, and a house, and responsibility, and I’m just... struggling to get my head around it all.” 

 

“It’s a bad thing?”

 

“No.” He frowns. “It’s... It’s the best ever thing.” Suddenly, his face breaks out into a beaming, brilliant grin, and he laughs, embarrassed. “I didn’t even want any of this, you know? I didn’t want kids, or a cohabiting thing. I didn't even think I wanted a relationship, much less with a guy. And now I’m celebrating my birthday, and loving it. I have my family, and they’re your family, and I have you, wonderful, wonderful you. And I have... I have kids, don’t I Kurt?”

 

I smile, wrapping my arms about his neck. “Three of ‘em.” 

 

“Life is amazing.” 

 

“It is, yeah, because I have you.” I kiss him softly, longing for more, but saving it all up for tonight. “I thought you were upset about something.” 

 

“No.” He kisses me again. “I have some worries, you know, but I shared those.”

 

“Blaine, if you weren’t worrying about something, then I’d be worried.” 

 

“If you two weren’t wrapped up in each other then I’d be worried,” Cooper announces as he strides into the kitchen. He clips us both around the back of the head. “You done yet? I’m waiting for cake.” 

 

“You gonna be my assistant yet?”

 

Cooper laughs, and grabs a stack of plates. “This is me, assisting. Now put my brother down and come eat some cake.”

 

As much as I love the day, there’s something tremendously exciting about dressing up for a date with Blaine. I force him back into the guest room to get ready, and refuse to see him until it’s time to go. 

 

“You look pretty,” Alice tells me as she sits on the bed, watching me tie my tie. 

 

“Thank you, sweetie.” 

 

“When you look pretty, I wish you were my papa.” 

 

I stop, and look at her in the mirror, but she carries on fiddling with her tiara, which keeps getting in the way of her Batgirl mask. 

 

“Well, that’s... that’s...uh... you know, something we could maybe think about, if you wanted.” 

 

“Can we also think about why I could only have two slices of cake?”

 

I laugh. “Because that little belly would go pop.” 

 

“Cake everywhere!”

 

“Exactly.” I turn away from the mirror and crawl across the bed to kiss her baby lips. “I love you. You’re so adorable, and I am so lucky to have you.” 

 

“Yep. Is Bane done yet?”

 

“Why don’t you go and find out?”

 

News reaches me- very loudly- that ‘Bane’ is indeed ready, and so I emerge to find him standing on the landing, holding Maggie’s hand. He looks so suave and elegant that my heart genuinely does skip a beat, and my stomach swoops. His navy blue suit has a pattern of light gray plaid, and he looks so very dapper and Blaine-like, with his red bow tie, that I have to refrain from kissing him in front of the kids, lest it get completely out of control. 

 

“Ready?”

 

“I think so.” Blaine seems to shine; a mix of nerves and excitement that only endears him to me still further. 

 

“Okay. Girls, be super good for Cooper, okay?”

 

“We will because he’s the best sitter ever,” Maggie says as we all descend. 

 

“And he says we can play ninjas before bed!”

 

We both roll our eyes at Alice’s comment, but choose to let it slide; it’s going to be a fun evening for all of us, it seems. Cooper stands in the door, with Joshua on his hip, to wave us goodbye. “Be safe!” he calls. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Or... Actually, do. Do do that. All of it. You know. The boy on boy stuff.” 

 

“Cooper!” I hiss as we slide into a cab. “Inside, now!” 

 

“You sure you want him to be your assistant?”

 

“Hmm, well.” I laugh, leaning my head onto Blaine’s shoulder as we speed into the city. “Listen to that, Blaine.”

 

“Silence? Nice. You don’t mind if we don’t talk all evening, do you?”

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“Where are we going, anyway?”

 

“It’s a surprise, you’ll see.”

 

Blaine is confused when we pull up at Chelsea Pier. He steps from the cab and looks around, clearly expecting some kind of restaurant, and that’s when I turn him toward the water, instead. “Look over there.”

 

“The yacht?”

 

“Yeah. Wanna go have dinner with me?”

 

“On that? Are you kidding? Of course I do! Wow!”

 

“I didn’t buy it, just so we’re clear. I don’t earn that much. But it’s ours for this evening.” 

 

Blaine grins, slipping his arm through mine. “I love it. Just us?”

 

“Staff, of course, and a... you know... boat driver type person, but otherwise yes, just us.” 

 

“This is the most amazing birthday present!” 

 

He almost bounces as we board, and if he says it's amazing once, he says it a thousand times. He’s right, though, it is completely spectacular and more lavish than anything I’ve ever done in my life. 

 

We enjoy champagne on deck as we leave Manhattan, and cruise towards Liberty Island. The sun is setting, and everything around us looks gorgeous, bathed in a soft, pink light. There’s no one with prying lenses, no fangirls sneaking pictures on their phone, just me, and Blaine, wrapped in each other’s arms, taking in the world around us. 

 

We head inside for dinner; six courses of the finest foods and wine, all enjoyed while we sail around the tip of Manhattan. Though we joked about enjoying the silence, we actually talk almost continuously; the chance to catch up without being interrupted every five seconds is wonderful, and we make the most of it before lapsing into a comfortable silence while we wait for dessert. 

 

“Would you have another kid?” 

 

Blaine asks his question right when dessert arrives, and I sit there, a forkful of chocolate torte halfway to my mouth. “Uh...Is that... Um.... I mean....”

 

He waits, and seems in no rush for an answer, but I know I must reply, so I force a mouthful of wine down my dry throat, and look him in the eye. “No. No, I don’t want any more children.”

 

“Yeah, neither do I. Just checking we’re on the same page.” He shrugs, and starts to eat. 

 

“Jesus, Blaine!”

 

“What?”

 

“You had me worried! I thought you were... I mean, I thought you were asking if we could, and I just... I mean, you definitely don’t, right? This isn’t one of those things where you’re pretending like it’s all fine but secretly you did want another kid and now you’re regretting ever raising the subject or even being with me to begin with?”

 

He laughs, gets to his feet, and kneels by my chair, taking my hands in his. “Kurt, whatever happens between us, now, or in the future, I will never regret a single moment spent with you. I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and the kids. You know I have. I’ve been getting my head around all that this relationship is going to entail; parent teacher evenings, grocery shopping, playdates... hell, dates, when they’re older. School proms, college... All of that. And then I just thought, what if you want another baby? Because I don’t think I could do that. Not if they... I mean, if we ended up without them. Maggie, Alice and Joshy.”

 

“Without them?”

 

“If they were taken away. They...you...make me complete, that’s all. And I just figured I needed to ask. I needed to have that conversation with you. I can assure you, there’s no hidden agenda. I was worried I’d be letting you down, that’s all.” 

 

I reach out, cupping his face in my hands as I kiss him gently. “Blaine, you could never let me down. I feel the same; it’s the perfect package. We have three kids who are all delightfully different to one another, and I can’t wait to see them grow up together. In fact, I mean...” I drift off as a thought hits me. 

 

“Kurt?”

 

“Nothing. Sorry.”

 

Not yet. 

 

“There is one thing I want you to do for me, though,” I say. 

 

“Oh?”

 

“I want you to quit Home Depot and concentrate on your music.”

 

“Kurt... I can’t.”

 

“You can, though.”

 

“No, I can’t. I’ve been thinking about that, too, and I think I should stop trying. Stop chasing a childhood dream. I’m never going to make it, and if I did, now? I’d always be wondering if I only made it because I’m Kurt Hummel’s boyfriend.” 

 

“But that’s exactly my point, Blaine! I could introduce you to people, help get your name out there.”

 

“I don’t want to ride the coattails of your success,” he says sadly, and I realize how hard it must be for him. “I want to be a person in my own right, Kurt. I love you, endlessly, but I don’t love the fact that all my life I’ll be attached to your career in a way that most couples aren’t. If word gets out that I’m working on an album, for example, and then I get a deal... Even if I got that deal myself, everyone will assume that it’s because of you. Every interview I did, I’d be asked about you.”

 

“Okay.” I nod, and kiss his forehead. “Okay. I mean, that saddens me, I’ll admit, but I need to respect it. Will you just quit Home Depot, though?”

 

“And do what? Be a stay-at-home foster parent?”

 

“Foster parent?”

 

“It’s what I am. What we are.”

 

I sigh heavily. “Play more gigs, teach piano, write a musical, I don’t know. Just use your talents, Blaine. You’re a wonderful person, and I want to see you happy.”

 

“I am happy, Kurt, more than you could ever imagine. Sure, Home Depot isn’t the greatest place on earth, but it gives me some money each month, and gets me out of the house to interact with other people.” 

 

“You’re not going to quit, are you?”

 

“Not because you tell me to, no.” He smiles sweetly. “I still love you, though, you know that, right? And I appreciate that you’re looking out for me.” 

 

“Of course I know that. I love you too.”

 

“Wanna come outside again? We’ll be going under the Brooklyn Bridge soon.”

 

“Only if i can bring my dessert.” 

 

He laughs. “Of course, Kurt. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” 

 

We curl up together on a large bench, eating our desserts, looking over towards Brooklyn. I wonder what the kids are dreaming of; whether they know that their life could change in an instant if any of their biological family decide to make contact. I know I need to see a lawyer. They’ve been with me nearly six months, and Blaine’s been around for almost five. We might not want any more kids together, but we certainly don’t want any less. 

 

“What do you think they’ll be, when they grow up?” 

 

Blaine thinks as he finishes his dessert. “I’m gonna say... Hmm. Musician, actress, teacher.”

 

“Really? I agree about actress. Probably in musicals.” 

 

“The Avengers musical.”

 

“Of course. But I could see Maggie as a teacher. She has the right temperament.”

 

“And Joshy?”

 

“Just a ball of sunshine.” 

 

“That’s it? That’s his career prospects?”

 

“Yep.” 

 

Blaine laughs, and pulls me close. “I think that whatever they end up being, they’ll be the most wonderful people, because of you.” 

 

He draws me into a kiss, long and passionate. When he does finally pull back, I reach for him again, and he moves into my lap, framing my face with his hands. His eyes are dark, his lips shining in the city lights, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more desire for him than I do in that moment. 

 

He feels it too, I know, because his kisses become deeper, more insistent and demanding, and his hands move from my face to my neck as he pushes his body against me. “When does this boat get back?”

 

“In the morning.”

 

He pulls back to look down at me with wide eyes. “What?”

 

“We’re on here all night. Wanna see the room? The agent kept calling it a cabin, but it’s freakin’ huge, and very un-cabin like.”

 

“You’ve left the kids with Cooper all night? You didn’t tell me that.”

 

“Because I knew you’d freak and refuse to come.”

 

“I...” He stops. “Yeah I would have done, you’re right.”

 

“And now?”

 

“Now I want to see this un-cabin like cabin. I’m intrigued.” 

 

“Excellent.” Taking his hand, we head back inside, and up some very narrow stairs. “Everything is weird on boats.”

 

“You’re not the most nautical of people though, are you Kurt?”

 

“Not really. I don’t get it. I appreciate the scenery, though. And the company. I think the boat driver man parks up somewhere during the night and then we get back about seven in the morning.” 

 

“Captain, and docks.”

 

“Huh?” I push open the door and usher him inside. The room is beautiful; a large bed with windows overlooking the front of the ship, and a bathroom off. Everything is in soft, muted beiges and browns, the carpet is thick beneath our feet, and there’s a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket at the side of the bed. 

 

“Oh wow.” 

 

“I told you.” 

 

He grins, grabbing me around the waist and kissing me hard. “This is the best birthday ever. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome. Time for your gift.”

 

“I thought this was my gift?”

 

“Oh it is, but I have a special gift, just from me to you. I’ll be back.” 

 

“I’ll open the champagne.” 

 

I shut myself in the bathroom, and as am quick as can be. When I quietly pull the door open again, Blaine is standing with his back to me, holding a glass. I wait, until he takes a mouthful of champagne. 

 

“Happy Birthday.” 

 

He turns, sees me standing in the doorway, and promptly spits everywhere. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

Blaine

“Holy shit!” My mouthful of champagne sprays everywhere as I take in the sight of Kurt in his full Firestone costume. “That’s my gift?”

He grins. “Yep.”

“I get to...what? Wrestle that off of you for the next three hours?”

“No. This is a replica. I had wardrobe make me a uh... a more accessible costume.” 

“Oh my God.” I laugh. “Do they know why?”

“I think they’ve probably guessed.” 

“I’m embarrassed.” 

“I’m horny.”

“Get over here.” 

He comes willingly, and takes the glass of champagne I offer. He doesn’t get to drink it though. Up close, Kurt looks even more divine, and I’m unable to resist taking the helmet from his head, smiling when I see his mussed up hair and pink cheeks. 

“So hot.”

“Yeah it is,” he moans, and I quiet him with a kiss. 

This suit is thinner than the real one; just one layer of tight lycra, and it leaves nothing to the imagination. Kurt follows my gaze downwards, and I’m sure we both feel the same intense thrill at the mere thought of what’s to come. 

He teases me, though, leaning against the back of the chair to drink his champagne slowly, watching me all the time. I’m still unsure if I’m doing all of this right, but I like flirting with Kurt, it’s fun, and it’s something we’ve always done. I loosen my bowtie slowly, and remove my jacket. I deliberately walk all the way across the room to hang it, knowing that he’s watching, waiting. I’m not sure which one of us is going to crack first. 

My heart is racing; nerves and anticipation, which I think is a healthy mix. I open my shirt, but Kurt stays watching, drinking his champagne, and making no move to touch me. I take the shirt off completely, and that’s when I see it; the first flicker of desire, making itself known. It’s impossible not to notice, in that suit. Moving closer, I slide my hands to his hips and lean in, kissing him lightly. 

“I need you.” He gasps as he says it, chasing my lips for more kisses. 

“I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be the one who needs rescuing, when you’re wearing that suit.” 

“Blaine...”

I cave. Moving one hand to the growing bulge at the front of the suit, I pull him into a hard kiss, until I feel him straining against me. “Kurt?”

“Mmm.”

“I um.... I want you.”

“Same.”

“No, as in.... Um...”

He pulls back, holding me in a steady gaze. “You sure? I mean, Blaine, this wasn’t so that you’d... I mean, this was just a joke.”

“I know that, but... Can we try?”

“We can absolutely try, yes. Which way around?”

“You.” He waits. “In me,” I clarify. 

“Okay. Not what I was expecting, but okay.” 

“The thought of it kinda really gets me going,” I admit, and he gives a smile, biting his lip in the most devastatingly sexy way. 

“Yeah? I like that.” He reaches for me, running his hands down the back of my pants, taking my breath away. “I like that a lot.” 

“Do I need to, to do anything? To prepare? I don’t know how it all works, Kurt. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to... do anything.” 

“Oh Blaine. You’re perfect just as you are. As for preparation, it’s down to me, really. We have all night, though, and if you want to stop, or you change your mind, that’s okay.”

I nod, and he takes my face in his hands. “I need you to know that’s okay.”

I frown. “Did your dad give you the talk about consent, too? About how, even though we’re two guys, it’s still important to respect the other person?”

“He did, yeah. I have it memorized. But it’s true, Blaine. I want you to be comfortable.”

“I am, honestly. I’m nervous, but I’m not worried. Do something for me, though.”

“Anything.” 

“Pin me up against this wall and give me your best Spider-Man kiss.”

“Hmm, no can do, I’m afraid. I can’t get upside down, and I’m not Spider-Man. I’ll give you my best Firestone kiss, though. It’s all about heat.” 

I don’t even get to answer; Kurt is upon me, and as always, it’s hard to mentally take time to slow things down. As soon as things start building between us, I have an overwhelming desire for everything, all at once, and it’s an urge I need to learn to resist, because when we do draw things out, it’s glorious. I don’t know how long we stay that way; me with my wrists pinned to the wall above my head while Kurt kisses me senseless, but I do know that when we part we’re both breathing hard, and my lips and tongue are tingling. We’re also both very, very aroused, and Kurt makes the most of it; kissing down the center of my chest until he reaches my fly. My pants are around my ankles in seconds, quickly followed by my underwear, and then I’m in the warm heat of his mouth. 

I bite my lip, stifling a moan before I realize that for once, we can be loud. “Why does this feel so amazing, Kurt?”

He stops, looking up at me. “It’s because I’m a superhero.” 

The moment is ruined and I laugh. Kurt gets to his feet, hands on hips, in his best superhero pose, and grins. 

“Coming September eighteenth,” I boom in my best voiceover voice. “Kurt Hummel is Firestone.” 

“Coming before that, I hope,” he quips, then he takes my hand and places it on the zipper at the front of the suit. “Care to find the man beneath?” 

“I’d love to.” 

I peel the suit from his body, happy to find there’s no underwear, and then we fall into bed together. A lot of time passes. In the dim light, we take time to connect, to really make the most of our time, and slowly the pleasure builds. 

Kurt’s fingers work magic, and fear gives way to thrills, and then deep, intense pleasure running throughout my whole body. I know it takes an age to make any real progress, but Kurt doesn’t seem to mind. He lies by my side, propped on one elbow, smiling down or kissing me gently. 

I have to stop things a few times; just to take time out to catch my breath, or adjust to the stretch, but when Kurt encourages me to raise my hips, and his fingers graze my prostate, I throw caution to the wind. 

“Please take me.” 

“You sure?”

“Mmm. Very. Please, Kurt.” 

“Okay.” 

He moves to kneel between my legs. “Your belly button is really cute.”

“Now, Kurt, really? Your timing is impeccable.” 

“Sorry.” He grins then falls forward, bracing his hands either side of me. “It is, though.” 

I laugh, covering my hands with my eyes. “What was your first time with Kurt like? Oh, yeah, pretty great. We discussed my belly button.” 

“Shut up! Who’s even going to ask you that?” His lips trail along my jaw. “And if anyone does, you can tell them this, instead: we cherished each and every moment.” And with that, he enters me. 

It’s slow going; it hurts, though it’s not unbearable, but it seems to take forever for Kurt to actually fit. He does, though, and that’s when I begin to relax, breathing slowly, adjusting to the sensation. “Holy shit,” I whisper. My hands rest lightly on his back, keeping him in place for the moment. “This is it, then.” 

“Well, I mean...I’m supposed to move.”

“I know that. I’m not that dumb. I just mean... I love you, Kurt.” 

He smiles, and kisses my lips softly. “I love you too.” 

He moves carefully; almost as if afraid that I might break, but the more he slides back and forth, the more comfortable it feels and as my body adjusts, it accepts him easily. I find myself lifting my hips off the pillows stacked under me, seeking more depth. 

“Get you.” Kurt laughs into my neck. “You’re loving this.” 

“What’s not to love? Give me more, Kurt, go on.” 

He laughs again, and picks up his pace. I find myself experiencing the whole thing almost as an out of body moment; because the Blaine Anderson I always have been, wouldn’t arch his back, calling his lovers name, pulling at the sheets. 

The Blaine Anderson I know wouldn’t lift his legs, gripping his lover tightly, and moan loudly, biting into the other person’s shoulder when the pleasure is particularly intense. 

But I do. 

I do all of those things and more, ordering Kurt to take me harder, to kiss me, to pull my hair, touch my cock, move faster. I am loud, raw, and foul-mouthed. I am more in love with Kurt than I have ever been, and desperate for him to take me, own me. 

“Hold up,” he cries eventually. He’s breathing hard, and when he pulls out, I think it’s all over and I haven’t noticed. It’s not, though. Kurt kneels on the bed and encourages me on top of him, and that is when I really moan loudly, screwing my eyes shut. My breath is ragged and harsh; Kurt is deep inside of me and it’s a fine line between more pleasure than I can deal with, or burning, intense pain. 

“I can’t... I can’t...”

“Okay,” Kurt says, gently rubbing his hands over my thighs. “We can stop.”

My eyes fly open. “No! Don’t stop!” 

“Huh?”

“No! Don’t... God, why would you even think of that?”

“Because you said...”

“It's amazing, Kurt. You feel amazing. I want to... I wanna come so badly.” 

“Come on, then,” Kurt teases, his eyes shining. “Let’s go for it.” 

I feel ready to explode, but I also know the best is yet to come. I ride Kurt hard; guided by him, of course, and then, acting purely on instinct, I arch backwards, resting my hands on the bed behind me. Kurt naturally pushes deeper, rubbing over my prostate with every stroke, and then we both know the end is imminent. I feel his hand on me, I’m aware that I’m once again moaning his name and getting louder each time, and then, suddenly, I feel Kurt coming inside of me. 

“Blaine! Oh....” 

I don’t know how he manages to work me through my own orgasm at the same time, but I do know that it hits me so hard that I find myself incapable of any noise. We seem to go on for an age before Kurt shudders hard one last time, and groans. 

With my legs still wrapped around his waist, I fall back onto the bed, trying to catch my breath. “I can’t... I mean....” 

He maneuvers me carefully, deftly cleaning up while I just lie there, breathing hard, my eyes closed as I try to come down from my high. 

Kurt wipes over my stomach one last time, leans down and kisses my belly button, then laughs. “Holy shit, Blaine. Where did that come from?”

I finally open my eyes, and look up at him, giving a lazy, contented grin. “I have no idea.” 

“You were wild.” 

“You were incredible.” 

“I’m glad you liked it.” He lies on the bed next to me, propped on one elbow. He’s silent and still, peaceful and content. 

“What you thinking of, Mr. Hummel?”

“I was just...watching you, really. I could look at you forever.”

“I like talking about forever with you.” 

He smiles, and gently kisses my lips. “Do you?”

“Yeah. I love you, Kurt. This has been the best birthday ever. Thanks for doing this.”

“You’re welcome.” 

He leans across me to turn out the light, but I stop him just before he does. “Thanks for everything though, Kurt. Not just tonight. Thanks for loving me, for your patience. Thanks for being such a wonderful dad, too.” 

He nods, and turns the light out quickly. I wait, while he settles himself down. He wants to be little spoon tonight, and that suits me just fine. 

“You’re my biggest fan,” he says quietly. 

“Always.”

“Love you, Blaine. Hope you’re not too sore tomorrow.”

“Aw crap, I didn’t even think about that!”

He laughs, and pulls me just a little bit closer. Then we fall asleep.

Not only am I sore the next morning, I also have to do the walk of shame back from the boat to the cab, in last night’s clothes. Kurt seems to feel no embarrassment over this. Thankfully, it’s early enough that no one is about to take our picture or to ask Kurt for an autograph, and if the cab driver does recognize him, he doesn’t say. 

“I have to sit on one side,” I whisper to Kurt as I pull the screen across. “This can’t be right.”

Kurt smirks, and looks out of the window to gain control, but every time he looks back at me, he giggles again. 

“Kurt!”

“I’m sorry. The answer is, it won’t always be like that. It was your first time, and you went at it like a man possessed. Put simply, what did you expect? Your whole body is probably trying to recover. One area in particular.”

“I can’t do it again tonight.” 

“I wasn’t expecting that you would.”

“I liked it, though.” 

“I noticed.” 

Kurt is still laughing to himself when we arrive home, thinking he’s being funny by offering me assistance to make it up the steps. 

“Get off.” 

“Wait til Cooper sees you.” 

“Don’t you dare tell him, Kurt Hummel. Don’t you dare!” 

But far from being greeted by my usual over-exuberant brother and three loud kids, the house is quiet, and when Kurt calls out, Cooper appears at the top of the stairs, still in pyjamas. 

“Hey.”

“Oh my God, is everything okay? What’s wrong? Why didn’t you call?”

“Jeez, Blaine, calm down. Everything is fine, it’s just that I’ve probably had about three hours sleep, if that. Make me some coffee and I’ll talk.”

“Where are the kids?”

“Sleeping. Be thankful.” 

I know I’m right to worry, because Kurt looks worried too, and quickly sits Cooper at the kitchen table with a large mug of coffee. We wait, while he wakes up, and Kurt covers my hand with his own, squeezing gently. 

“So, uh... Maggie,” Cooper starts. 

I nod. “Is she okay?”

“Yes, I told you that. But I think she needs some help. Counseling or something. She has issues.”

“Like what?”

“Well, we had loads of fun. Tons. Joshua went to bed, then Alice, then it was just the two of us. We’re all cuddled up on the couch, watching TV, and she went to bed really happy. I checked on them just after midnight, took Alice to the bathroom like you said, and then I went to bed myself. Maggie woke up....maybe I made too much noise? I don’t know. Anyway, she said she was worried that you’d forget to come back in the morning. I reassured her that wouldn’t happen, and put her back to bed. Next thing, she’s back in my room, crying, saying she’s scared you won’t come back. Once again I told her you would definitely come back, and I cuddled her until the tears had gone. She went back to bed, but then she got up again, and went and woke Alice. Well, she isn’t quiet.” 

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Joshua was awake in seconds, crying because he was so confused, Alice is bellowing about you two going to live in heaven and listen to Meatloaf? On and on, and all the time, Maggie just sobbed. She was wholly convinced that you two had left, and were going off to die. I mean... is that what her dad did?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says sadly. “Yeah he did. He uh... he didn’t tell them he was sick. He went into hospital one day and it was so quick. He never came out. So yeah, to them, he went out one day and then he never came back because he died.”

“And the mom?”

“She was taken forcibly.”

Cooper nods slowly. “Well, anyway. I managed to get Joshy back into his crib, but Alice and Maggie stayed in my bed with me. I hope that was okay. I didn’t want to make them sleep on their own.”

“Yeah, of course it’s okay. You could’ve called.”

“I know, and maybe I should’ve, but it was like, four in the morning before Maggie went to sleep. I figured that maybe she needs to see this all play out, you know? She needs to know that you both can go, and come back, and that it’s all okay. If I’d called you back in the middle of the night, maybe she would think that she needed to prevent it every time, and that’s not fair on any of you, is it? You should be able to spend a night away from them every now and then, and she needs to feel secure in that.”

“Why doesn’t she cry in the day, though?” I ask. “She’s fine with school, or being with Polly.”

“It’s light, I guess?” Cooper shrugs. “Maybe she’s afraid of switching off, letting go.”

“I think you’re right, Cooper,” Kurt says. He rubs a hand over his face, looking tired and drawn. “I think she needs to see someone. Maybe Alice as well. Blaine?”

I barely hear him at first; I am deep in thought. I feel Maggie’s anxiety, the fear she must have, the constant worry over where she belongs. 

“Blaine?”

“Yes?”

“Do you agree? I can ask Polly to recommend someone.”

“Of course. Jesus, Kurt. We’ve been going about it all wrong, haven’t we? Pretending like everything is fine, pushing her into this new life, not stopping to think about how deeply those scars must run.” 

“I think you’re being a little harsh on yourself, bro.” Cooper reaches across and squeezes my hand. “I think you’ve both been amazing. Polly hasn’t noticed, and she’s skilled in all of that. Day to day, I think she is fine, and happy, and secure. This is the first time you’ve both been away from them all night. Clearly it prompted a severe reaction, but you’ll get her help to deal with that, so no, I don’t think you’re going about it all wrong at all.” 

We both smile, and thank my brother for his supportive words, but inside, I know we’re both feeling sick to our stomachs. Our little girl has been hurting and neither of us noticed. We’d carried on in our own little bubble; blissfully focused on falling in love with each other, to the ignorance of those around us, those we love the most. 

Cooper decides to stay, in an effort to prove to Maggie and Alice when they wake, that everything is normal. Joshua wakes first, entirely oblivious to anything other than needing some milk and his cereal. Cooper takes charge while we shower and change, and then, just as I’m about to head back downstairs, the guest room door opens, and Maggie carefully peeks out. 

She looks terrified, and when she sees my face, though she relaxes slightly, she still looks past me to see if Kurt is there too. 

“Kurt? Kurt, come here.” 

It’s only then, when she sees us both, that she fully opens the door, and runs to us with Alice hot on her heels. “I thinked you had died,” she whispers into my neck, and then she sobs hard. 

We sit there, at the top of the stairs, the four of us huddled close together, until all tears have subsided. Even Alice is quiet, reverently running her fingers over Kurt’s face. 

“Maggie, sweetie, we love you,” Kurt says, kissing her cheek. “When Blaine and I aren’t here, that doesn’t mean we’re gone, okay?”

She nods, and sniffles into my neck. “My old daddy, the one who’s not called Blaine? He went out in the night time. It was all dark. And then he never came back. Aunt Sara was there, and she yelled at me to stop crying. I member, I had to sleep on the floor with Alice, because there were big children in our beds.”

“Sara’s children?”

She shrugs. “Big kids. And daddy that’s not Blaine? The old one? He died.”

“I know, my darling girl, I know.” I hold her as close as I can, my heart hammering with fear. “But you know what? You don’t have to worry about sleeping on a floor ever again, or not being allowed to cry. I promise you, we’ll keep you safe, always. Both of us.” 

She nods, sucking on her thumb. “Cooper’s still here?”

“Of course. He’s downstairs with Joshy. Wanna go say hi?”

She nods again, and I get to my feet, lifting her into my arms. 

Then Alice comes to life. “Oh, Kurtie? Guess what? Cooper gives cuddles that are magic. He say so. But also, he doesn't like Meatloaf. Not the food or the singer. How silly is that?”

“Very silly, Alice,” Kurt says, bopping her nose. “But then, he is Cooper, so...”

“I can hear you!”

Cooper’s yell makes both of them laugh, and they head happily down the stairs to see him, their upset forgotten for now.

“Shit.” Kurt lets out a breath and leans back against the wall, covering his face with his hands. “What the fuck do we do, Blaine?”

“We love them, Kurt.” I take him into my arms and kiss him tenderly. “We love them, and we love each other, because that’s all we can do.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Kurt**

 

It hurts to return to work that afternoon. Blaine and I are both still in shock, and even Cooper seems reluctant to leave Maggie’s side, as if he’s afraid she might crack at any moment. Alice seems okay, but she’s singing Meatloaf songs the entire time, and it astounds me that she can remember so many of the lyrics. 

 

I don’t want to go, but I have a job to do, and so I end up leaving just as Polly arrives. She hugs me, and reassures me this is not my fault, but her words fall on deaf ears. I wonder if my love will ever be enough for Maggie to feel complete. I feel like it might not be. 

 

“I know someone,” Polly tells me when we’re in the hallway, away from little ears. “She’s a wonderful therapist, and I think she could really help. Her waiting list is over six months, but I’m going to try and call in a favor.”

 

“Does she specialize in kids?”

 

“No, grief. Which has no age defining expectations, Kurt. Everyone grieves differently, whether young or old. I think you’re grieving too, you know.” 

 

“Me?”

 

“For Nick. For the way you treated his final request. For all the children went through because you wouldn’t take them. I feel like you need to address that. I also feel that you and Blaine could do with some couples therapy.”

 

“We’ve only just gotten together!”

 

“Yes, and that’s truly wonderful, but that’s my point. You and Blaine, you’re on the cusp of something amazing, and it’s important that you’re both equipped with the skills needed to deal with what this crazy life can throw at you. In just a few short months, you’ve gone from being an A-list TV star who stayed out of the limelight, to a father of three, with a live-in boyfriend, and you’re splashed across every website, magazine and newspaper out there. As for Blaine, we all know what he’s been through to get here.” 

 

I sigh heavily. “You’re right.” 

 

“Of course I’m right, Kurt. Now go on. Go to set, enjoy your day. We’ll all be fine. I’m going to talk with Maggie and Alice on their own, and then I thought that I’d take them all to the library; it’ll help get Maggie ready for going back to school. Blaine can take some time to rest up. His brother said he was injured in some way?”

 

“He...” I pause as I realize why Cooper thinks that. “He’s a little sore. Nothing too terrible. Thanks, Polly, for everything.” 

 

I do my job, but my mind is continually elsewhere, and I find myself missing the most basic of cues, or forgetting lines that I knew perfectly just an hour ago. It's a long and frustrating day, and I soon realize that I won’t make it home for dinner as I’d hoped, and I’m unlikely to make it home in time to kiss Maggie goodnight, either. 

 

“I need to get a break,” I call to the director, and she sighs, says something to the producer, and then turns back to me. 

 

“In an hour or so? Then we’ll break for dinner.”

 

“I need it to be now, actually. I have to call my kids.”

 

“Kurt, seriously? Come on. You know that’s a pain in the ass.”

 

“Yeah, but I need to call them.” 

 

“You don’t even have kids, do you? The ones you’re always with? I thought you were just looking out for them for a friend.”

 

“I am. He died.” 

 

There’s nothing more to say. Or maybe there is, I don’t know. I only know that I walk swiftly off set and back to my trailer, where I try Blaine six times, and then Cooper, but there’s no answer from either. That means they’re probably all out to dinner without me. 

 

I could cry. 

 

I walk back, feeling stupid, and mumble my apologies. The director lets it slide; I think she knows I’m on the edge of tears, and we get the rest of the scene, plus another short one, done. 

 

“Okay, break now,” she calls. “Back in an hour, please!”

 

I head back to my trailer with a heavy heart, preparing myself to sit alone for an hour. I used to relish the solitude, but I don’t anymore. 

 

“Kurtie!” 

 

My head snaps up as a familiar little figure pulls open the trailer door from the other side. I briefly see Blaine sitting on the couch, with Joshua in his pyjamas, but I’m quickly engulfed by Alice and Maggie, who hug me tight. I squeeze just as hard in return, trying not to cry. 

“Oh my girls! I was missing you! You know just how to cheer me up. Wow. What a lovely surprise.” 

 

“I am in my pyjamas, Kurtie!” Alice cries. “And Maggie! That’s so funny! And we had our dinner and Bane said we were going to surprise you, and we did! We did!” 

 

“You did,” I agree. I laugh, and kiss her little round cheeks. “And you, Miss Maggie? How are you?”

 

“I’m okay,” she says with a shrug, and she seems to mean it. In fact, she seems perfectly content, and quickly settles on my lap with her thumb in her mouth. “You come home tonight,” she tells me. “Blaine said.” 

 

“I do. It might be very late though.” 

 

“But you come home.”

 

“Of course. Why are you worrying? I went to Vancouver and you were okay.”

 

“Blaine was there.”

 

“So it’s an issue if we’re both away? Together?”

 

“You might die.”

 

“We...” I stop. “Listen, sweetie, just know that I’ll be home tonight, and when I get there, I’ll come up and give you a kiss and a cuddle, okay?”

 

“Okay.” 

 

“Do I get a kiss and a cuddle?” Blaine asks, and I smile, leaning in to kiss his lips. “Always. Hello, you, and hello Joshy. Thank you for coming to visit.” 

 

“I thought you might be needing us as much as we’re needing you.” 

 

“Definitely.” I take Joshua, kissing him and blowing raspberries into his neck to make him giggle. “How was your day?”

 

“Good. It was...” He stops, flips the  TV on, and finds the Disney channel. “Girls, I’m just going to talk to Kurt.”

 

“Grown up talk,” Alice says knowledgeably. 

 

“And kissing,” Maggie adds. They settle on the couch together. “Always kissing.” 

 

There is kissing, once we’re in the next room, but only briefly. I’m far more focused on how  Maggie and Alice have been during the day. 

 

“Really okay,” Blaine says again. “They went to storytime at the library with Polly, then we all had lunch. This afternoon I gave Maggie a piano lesson while Polly played with Joshua and Alice, then we walked to the park, came home and had dinner. I mean, they’ve been fine. I’ve been on edge all day, but then, I always worry.”

 

“I know, but I can’t blame you this time.”

 

“Polly called that therapist. She’s going to visit tomorrow at ten to discuss things. She’ll take it from there.”

 

“She’s coming to the house? I have a nine am call.”

 

“Well, you’ll have to be late.”

 

“But...”

 

He fixes me with a look. “But nothing, Kurt, and you know that.”

 

I stop, and nod. “Of course.”

 

“Kurt, I’ve been thinking.” Blaine shits uncomfortably in his chair, and clears his throat. “I think I’m going to quit Home Depot. I know that’s dumb, given all I’ve said, but with all of this? I think it’s important that we’re with them as much as possible. My shifts are all over the place and you’re working, so....”

 

“Oh Blaine. I’m sorry.”

 

“No, gosh, no, totally not your fault, Kurt.”

 

“I know, but still, I feel....”

 

“Hey, listen, if you weren’t such an amazing superhero, then my not working wouldn’t even be an option, would it? I was also thinking about what you said, about my music. I could, you know, be there for the kids during the day; having Polly about means I could spend some one on one time with each of them, too, and then I could maybe book a few gigs?”

 

“Of course! Blaine, please don’t stop doing that. I know you said you were giving it up, but know how much you love to perform, so please, keep it up.” 

 

“You don’t mind?”

 

“Mind? It makes me so proud! And hey, maybe we can coax Polly into sitting sometimes so I can come along. Sound good?”

 

“Sounds perfect.” He smiles, and kisses my cheek. “Are you filming this weekend?”

 

“Nope. I have a photo shoot Friday morning and then nothing until Tuesday.”

 

“Great. Alice has a playdate with her friend Charlotte on Friday, but after that, I figured we might all take a little trip.”

 

“Oh, where?”

 

“To your dad.”

 

“Oh!” I clap my hands, which makes Blaine laugh loudly. “Yes please! Please!”

 

“Okay, Alice. Jeez. I wonder where she gets it from?”

 

“But my dad, though! I get to see my dad!”

 

Blaine laughs again. “Yeah you do. And maybe me, a bit, if there’s any time left over.” 

 

“Eh, there might be.” I hug him close, letting my fingers slide into his hair. “I love you, Blaine. Thank you for making everything so much better.” 

 

I don’t get home until nearly three in the morning, but Blaine’s visit with the kids had given me enough enthusiasm to push through the tiredness, and we ended up shooting a lot of really great stuff. As a result, I am too wired to sleep, and it’s nearing five when my eyes eventually close. 

 

I don’t hear Blaine waking up. I don’t hear the kids, either. In fact, I don’t hear anything until nine thirty when Blaine gently wakes me to tell me the therapist has arrived early. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” he says as I rub my eyes. “I thought I’d give you a chance to sleep, but it turns out she was worried about finding the place, so allowed extra time to get here.”

 

“It’s okay. I’ll get down as quick as I can.” 

 

But I don’t feel as if it’s okay. I feel like I’m on the back foot; like I haven’t had any say in this woman coming into my home, to tell me how to raise my kids, and now she’s a half hour early and I’m expected to rush down to meet her. I barely register Cooper standing in my kitchen, handing me a mug of coffee as I pass through to the conservatory, but I do know that Joshua toddles after me, calling “papa, papa,” and I have to tell him to go to Polly, instead. 

 

“I’m here.” 

 

Blaine looks up, smiles, and gets to his feet; the perfect gentleman. “Ah, Kurt. This is Carole.”

 

The woman is in her fifties, short, and dressed in a lot of denim. Not how I’d imagine a therapist to look, really, but then again, I’m not sure what I was expecting, either. 

 

“Kurt,” she smiles, and offers her hand. 

 

“Mr. Hummel,” I say as we shake, and then she gestures for me to sit next to Blaine, as if this weren’t really my own house. 

 

“Kurt,” she repeats. “Blaine was just telling me how you two met. Such a cute story. I’m Carole Hudson, and I work as a grief counsellor. I know Polly rather well since we’ve worked on a few cases together now.”

 

“Cases? Is that what we are to you? A case? These are my children’s lives, you know. They’re not just another statistic. They’re..”

 

“Kurt, calm down,” Blaine whispers. He reaches for my hand but I pull away. 

 

“They’re my children.  _ Our _ children,” I add, when I see the look of hurt flash across Blaine’s face. “Ours.” 

 

“I understand the State placed them in your long-term foster care, yes? To be reviewed in six months? That’s... Oh, right about now, isn’t it?”

 

“Oh, so what, you’re taking them away, is that it? That’s your angle?”

 

“Kurt!” 

 

“Kurt, I am not doing any such thing,” Carole says firmly. “Your partner is right. You need to calm down and listen to me. I am a grief therapist, not a social worker. You will, however, be visited by a social worker at some point, but I’d imagine they’d take one look at your lovely children, and leave them exactly where they are. Why would they take them back into care?”

 

“Because I’m failing them, aren’t I? I didn’t want them in the first place, and then I did, and now I’ve been assuming we’re all A-okay, but really, all the time, Maggie’s been living in fear of us dying, and Alice remembers her dad but can’t figure out where he’s gone!”

 

“Kurt, you have been A-okay,” Carole insists. “All of you. But the fact is, grief manifests itself in very different ways, and....”

 

“Oh, what do you know? Some book told you all of this and now you get to quote it back at me while I pay you two hundred dollars an hour?”

 

“I lost my son, actually,” Carole says, stopping me in my tracks. “So I speak from experience, Kurt. From a place of understanding. He would have been about your age, actually. He was in college, training to be a teacher. And he uh... yes. He died. I was a nurse, before that, but I couldn’t... I found it hard to go back to work. I couldn’t settle. Kept expecting another call, which was dumb, since I have no other family. Even so, I used to have panic attacks about it. So I took some time out, and then a friend suggested I get some therapy. While I was getting that, I figured that actually, I could turn my grief into a positive thing, and use it to help others. So that’s where I’m at, now. The thing is, Kurt, I could do that. I could make that choice for myself. A five year old can’t do that, but you can help her. Both of you can.” 

 

“She’s almost six,” I mumble. I feel Blaine’s toe nudging against my ankle, and this time, I take his hand in mine. “I’m very sorry for your loss.” 

 

“Thank you. Now, I suggest we talk about Maggie, don’t you?”

 

As it happens, the session is useful. We don’t get very far in terms of solving anything, but we are able to give Carole a thorough background on all that has taken place since the kids have been with me, and how Blaine fits into it all. Cooper also comes in, and explains in detail about the night he spent with Maggie, and then, and the end of the session, Carole says she will help. I find myself oddly relieved. 

 

“We’ll work as a group, the five of you, but also individually. It would also be beneficial if I could meet with extended family, like your brother, Blaine. Parents? Just so we could all be singing from the same hymn sheet, as it were.” 

 

“Sure,” Blaine nods, and squeezes my hand, full of enthusiasm. “We’re actually visiting Kurt’s dad this weekend so we can ask him. Thank you so much.” 

 

“You’re welcome.” Carole gets to her feet, and shakes both of our hands again. “They seem like lovely kids. Congratulations.”

 

“They’re broken.” 

 

Carole stops in the doorway and turns back to look at me. “But aren’t we all, Kurt? Maybe we all just need a little help to stick our pieces back together, that’s all.” 

 

“I have money. I’ll pay whatever it takes.” 

 

“Oh Kurt. You don’t need money. You just need time, and a whole lot of love. You have both. In abundance.” 

 

Her comment stays with me in the coming days, and I eventually raise it with Blaine on the flight to Ohio. “It’s a stupid thing to say. Of course we need money; she charges two hundred freaking dollars an hour.”

 

“That’s not what she meant and you know it.”

 

“So what did she mean?”

 

“Stop it, Kurt. Why are you so against her? I thought you were all for therapy.”

 

“I was. I am. I just... I don’t know.” 

 

I cradle a sleeping Joshua closer, and stare out of the window, and Blaine returns to his book. 

 

“I’m really scared,” I admit when we’re waiting for our luggage. I move a little closer, wary of too much public affection now we’re no longer in New York. 

 

“I know.” Blaine’s fingers find mine, briefly, and he offers a smile. “I’m scared too. But we’ll work it all out, I promise you. I was watching Alice this morning, with her little friend, and I just know she’s going to be fine. They’ll all be fine.”

 

“I forgot she had a play date. You went with her?”

 

“Yeah. I spoke with the girl’s nanny at Alice’s party. She’s nice. We had coffee while they played and Joshy napped.”  

 

“Did you meet the parents?”

 

“Nope. They’re investment bankers in the city, apparently.”

 

“Nannies have a thing for you.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“That girl who came from the agency that time.”

 

“Kurt, stop pouting.”

 

“I’m not!” 

 

Blaine laughs, and pulls our cases from the carousel. “You blatantly are.” He takes charge while I sulk; loading the cases onto the cart, balancing Alice and Maggie on top, and directing me to push Joshua’s stroller. 

 

“Kurt.” He sighs, lifts my chin, and kisses my lips. “I am wildly gay for you, in case you didn’t notice. Now stop sulking. Your dad will be waiting.” 

 

“Wildly gay?” I ask as we walk towards the arrivals hall. 

 

“Very much so.”

 

“That’s how you identify now?”

 

“Nope. Only gay for you.”

 

“Bisexual, then.”

 

“No,” he repeats. “Wildly gay for you, and never in need of being with anyone else, man, woman, or otherwise.” 

 

I smile, and it turns into a wide grin of delight. “I like that.” 

 

“Finally.” 

 

My dad alerts the whole airport to my arrival. Not only is he holding a sign with “Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson” written on it, he also booms my name out across the arrivals hall as soon as he sees me. It’s little wonder that I immediately hear the whispers and see phones being taken out of bags. I guess, to my dad, I’ll never be Kurt Hummel, the world famous actor, but I’ll always be his little boy, coming home for a visit. 

 

He crushes us all in his arms, kissing, squeezing, crying, and each and everyone of us is as happy to see him in return. “You kids are all growing up,” he declares, ruffling Blaine’s hair in an effort to be funny. “Come on, girls, let’s see if I can do this, huh?” 

 

He lifts them both, and strides confidently from the airport. 

 

“Dad, they’re heavy.”

 

“They’re not. They’re my little girls, and always will be. Hey kids, guess what? I decorated the guest room just for you.”

 

“Is it superhero?” Alice asks, at the same time as Maggie says; 

 

“Can it be pink? Or blue?”

 

“It’s a little bit of everything,” dad says, laughing. “You’ll see.” 

 

And it is. The third bedroom at dad’s place used to be full of papers, sports memorabilia, and, for a while, my quilting collection until I gave up on that particular pastime. Now it has bunk beds and one smaller, toddler sized bed with a safety rail in place. Above each bed, is a mural; a pretty fairy garden scene for Maggie, Avengers for Alice, and a farmyard for Joshua, complete with a unicorn in among the horses. The walls are a warm yellow, there’s a blue rug on the floor which delights Maggie, and on another wall, between the two windows, is a cardboard cut out of me dressed as Firestone, which I had sent to my dad when the first promo shots were released. 

 

“Had to find a use for it someplace,” he says with a smile. “Proud of you, kiddo. It airs soon, right?”

 

“Starts next month. Premiere is the eighteenth. Dad, this is wonderful.”

 

“Eh, well, you know.... Beer?”

 

I smile; dad and I are the masters at avoiding emotive subjects when we want to. “Sure.” 

 

When the kids are settled to sleep that night, the three of us sit in the living room, and I tell my dad everything that’s unfolded regarding Maggie in the last few days. He listens, taking it all in, nodding in all the right places. 

 

“The therapist thinks it’d be good to meet you, and Blaine’s parents.”

 

“Does she now? Hmm.”

 

“Don’t you think that would help?” Blaine asks. 

 

“Oh yeah, for sure. As long as you’re keepin’ ‘em.”

 

“What?”

 

“The kids.”

 

His comment surprises me. “Why the hell wouldn’t we keep them?”

 

“I don't know, but you’ve not done much about it, have you?”

 

“I’ve given them a home! They live with Blaine and I....we have a life, as a family.”

 

“I see.” He sips his beer, and nods again. “Of course I’ll come meet with her. Just tell me when.” 

 

“Thank you.” 

 

We settle to watch TV, but Blaine is uptight; I can feel it as I lie against his chest. I’m dismayed; I had assumed this weekend would be perfect, but I can feel it unraveling in all sorts of ways. I ask him three times if he’s okay, but after that I figure if I ask again he might explode, so I say nothing, and he picks up his phone. 

 

I honestly can’t understand what he does on it all the time, other than text his brother or Sam, since he quickly deleted all of his social media accounts when news started breaking about us. Still, he sits there, scrolling, and then he sighs, and tosses it onto the couch. 

 

“Out of charge?”

 

“No, I’m just sick of seeing my face everywhere, that’s all, and I have no wish to see the kids paraded across some blogging site for fangirls to fetishise our relationship, either.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Santana keeps sending me stuff. Pictures from the airport, earlier.”

 

“Yeah, well we knew that was going to happen, since big mouth over there can never be quiet.”

 

Dad shrugs. “I was pleased to see ya. Sorry, Blaine.”

 

“No, Burt, you don’t need to be sorry, that’s my point. You should be allowed to do that. We should be able to greet you just like any other family, but instead, we have our pictures spread all over the internet. It pisses me off.”

 

“I know it does,” I start, “but...”

 

“No, but nothing! You didn’t get this before, did you?”

 

“I had my picture taken by fans, yes, but I didn’t really go anywhere or do anything to warrant much attention, because I was too scared. I don’t want that life for you or the kids. I don’t want to hide away.”

 

“Neither do I, I just don’t want our every move documented.”

 

“Not a lot we can really do about it, Blaine.”

 

“It sucks,” he mumbles, getting to his feet. “Really sucks. I’m going to bed.” 

 

I leave him for over half an hour, and my dad and I discuss the perils of the life I’ve chosen.

 

“He didn’t choose it, you see,” dad explains. “He had it pushed upon him.”

 

“He chose me, though. And he said he’d try to deal with it.”

 

“I think he is. But Blaine is a quiet person, Kurt. It must be very alien for him to see himself everywhere, and probably a little bit hurtful for him to know that the only reason he’s out there, is because of his association with you. Not for any of his own merits.”

 

“True. I do kinda wish it wasn’t so intense. I mean, I get it comes with the territory, but just a little let up would be nice. I’m already worrying about Maggie going back to school; I feel like I can’t take her.”

 

“So move away from it,” my dad suggests. “Move to some well-to-do suburb where no one will bother you, and no one will tip the press off because they don’t want the area brought down by their presence. There must be other actors with kids who stay outta the spotlight. I get that the show is coming up, but after that you must get a break, surely? It can't remain that intense forever.” 

 

“Hmm. Maybe.” I smile and get to my feet, kissing his forehead as I pass. “G’night, dad.”

 

“Night, kid. Sleep well.” 

 

Blaine lies curled on his side, and I am starkly reminded of the night I stole into his room. Once again I curl behind him, and once again he pulls my arm a little bit tighter, keeping me close. I kiss his shoulder softly. 

 

“I’m not mad at you,” he says softly. “I don’t blame you.”

 

“I know that.” 

 

“And I know all you say, about it only being us who knows what really goes on, I know that’s all true. I just struggle. Everyone knows we’re here. I see the posts, speculating what we’re doing here. I see one saying your dad lives here, another wondering if we’ve flown out here to tell him we’re engaged.”

 

“What?”

 

“Exactly. One even said we might be telling your dad we’re having another baby, and then there’s a hundred comments along the lines of ‘squee’ or ‘omg.’ It just upsets me.” 

 

“I get that. Dad said we should move out of the city.”

 

“Really? I guess I hadn’t thought about that.”

 

“I didn’t either.”

 

“Something to discuss, maybe?”

 

“Yeah.” I kiss his shoulder again. “I love you, though, Blaine. Please don’t ever forget that.”

 

“I won’t. And I love you too. Also? Just so you know, I might hate the attention, but I’m not going anywhere.” 

 

“Thank God.” 

 

I am first up the next morning, but when I head downstairs in search of coffee, I find my dad has gotten all three kids dressed, and fed them breakfast. 

 

“Wow, dad, I’m impressed. It’s not even eight.”

 

“Mmmhmm. So, uh... we’re going to head out.”

 

“All of you?”

 

“Yes. We’ll be back around lunchtime. Uh... while we’re gone, you might want to read this.” He hands me his ipad, and kisses into my hair. “Just remember Blaine is all new to this, Kurt, please.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Dad doesn’t reply. In fact, he doesn’t even look at me, just waits for me to kiss the kids goodbye, and then I’m left alone in a silent house, with Blaine still sleeping upstairs. 

 

I open up the ipad, to see a long article on a tabloid site. It’s American Star, renowned for writing speculative gossip, only what they’ve written isn’t speculative gossip at all. It's from a ‘well-placed source,’ and every quote they have, has come from Blaine. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	21. Chapter 21

American Star

Actor Kurt Hummel, best known for his roles in Cold Water and the upcoming Firestone, recently confirmed his sexuality in a TV interview with Janae Parker. In confirming the long-held rumor that he is gay, Hummel added that he was happy in his private life, and didn’t wish to say any more than that. 

Fair enough, but here at American Star, like most Kurt Hummel fans out there, we can’t help noticing the photos that keep appearing of our favorite star looking very loved-up indeed. Not only that, but it appears that Hummel and his beau have started a family together....Or have they? 

In an exclusive to American Star, a source close to the pair revealed some interesting tidbits about the couple’s relationship behind closed doors, including the fact that the happy family dynamic we’re becoming used to seeing, might not be all it appears. 

We can reveal that Kurt Hummel’s boyfriend is known only as Blaine, and (sorry ladies), he and Kurt are “sickeningly loved-up,” our source says, adding: “Kurt and Blaine are definitely together, of that there’s no doubt. While Kurt might not have confirmed it, Blaine told me that while they’ve only been together a short time, it’s serious. Not only that, but I’ve seen them together, and they only have eyes for each other.” 

Here’s where it starts to get interesting; a couple of months back, photos surfaced of our new favorite couple (do they have a ship name yet?), out and about with three small (and very cute) kids. When asked about them on the Janae Parker Show, Kurt deflected the question, saying he wasn’t in a position to talk about them. Ever the professional, Ms. Parker respected that, but many were left wondering what kind of situation would mean a new parent wouldn’t want to discuss their kids. 

Speculation only increased when the youngest child- a boy- was seen to bear a striking resemblance to Blaine, while the older two- both girls- could possibly carry a Hummel gene, since they both have the same bright blue eyes that have made Kurt stand out in his superhero role. But...all of that said, these kids are older, meaning that if they are indeed Kurt’s (and possibly Blaine’s), he’s been keeping them hidden for a long time- since before his career even began, or he’s very recently adopted. 

Well, now we have our answer: 

“Certainly the girls aren’t Blaine’s,” our source confirms. “They’re not Kurt’s either; he’s fostering them. A close friend died, and he took them in as a favor before he and Blaine got together. The eldest girl is quiet and sweet; Blaine says she’s a perfect angel, but she has bad separation anxiety, probably owing to all she’s been through. The second girl is loud and boisterous. She loves superheroes, which fits well with Kurt, of course. Blaine doesn’t find it easy, settling into the role of step-foster carer; he’s paranoid the kids could be returned to family at any second, and he struggles to find time alone with Kurt where they can just be a couple, rather than acting as parents.”

And the baby?”

“It’s strange. I’d say I know Blaine relatively well; certainly he feels as though he can be honest with me, but he repeatedly swears that the boy isn’t his biological son. I’m telling you, though, they are identical. Same hair, eyes, smile, and the same sweet and unassuming personality. The baby is adorable; loving and happy. He also looks nothing like his supposed ‘sisters.’ If I had to guess, I’d say that Blaine had a child already, before he and Kurt got together, and they’re trying to pass them all off as siblings so that the truth doesn’t come out.”

Truth? What truth could that be?! Hold onto your hats, because this one’s a doozy. 

“Blaine is- or was- straight,” our source tells us. “I couldn’t believe it when he told me. He’s only ever dated women, and then Kurt changed all that. From what I understand, Kurt was rather predatory; employing Blaine as a music teacher for the girls, and then encouraging him to spend time with them in a social capacity. I think he saw what he wanted, and went about getting it. Who can blame him? Blaine is adorable; the perfect gentleman and a great match for Kurt, who is aloof and rarely speaks to anyone outside of his immediate circle. Hopefully, in time, Blaine will make him into a nicer guy.” 

We have to admit, we’re surprised to hear that, since we’ve always found Mr. Hummel to be friendly enough, though he does always keep his distance from the limelight. It’s great to hear he might have found happiness, but his family situation is certainly intriguing. We’ve studied photos of Blaine (not that it was a hardship) and the baby, and there’s got to be some relation, at least. When you’re ready to explain, boys, we’re all ears!


	22. Chapter 22

**Blaine**

 

With shaking hands, I rest the iPad onto the nightstand and rub at the rapidly forming bruise on my shoulder. Kurt had woken me by throwing it at me; though I don’t think he meant for the corner of the iPad to hit my shoulder as hard as it did. Now he waits, arms folded, at the foot of the bed, while I sit there, my brain swirling, trying to make sense of all I’ve just read. 

 

“Well?” he asks. 

 

“It’s... I mean... I don’t know who would’ve....”

 

“Did you say that stuff?”

 

“No! I mean, I can’t... I can’t be sure, you know, since I say a lot of stuff, but...”

 

“What did you say, and to whom?” Kurt barks. “Sam? He’s always had an issue with me.” 

 

“No! I don’t speak to Sam about stuff like that. He doesn’t have an issue with you, anyway.”

 

“Santana? Dani?”

 

“No! Santana would never... Jesus, she’s probably out there hunting down the source as we speak. And Dani wouldn’t.”

 

“Who, then?” he yells. “Who the hell have you confided in, who’s betrayed us in this way? You parents? Your brother?”

 

“Oh, don’t you dare!” Immediately angered, I feel my temper boiling as I confront him. “Don’t you ever speak about my family like that, Kurt. You know full well....”

 

“Yes, yes, okay. Sorry. That was low.”

 

“I didn’t say that stuff, honestly.”

 

“Didn’t you? Because if you didn’t; if someone’s gone to them and made all of this up, then we can sue.”

 

He sits on the bed, his temper subsiding, and takes my hand in his. “I need you to think.” 

 

“I am thinking.” I frown, as if to emphasize my point, and then my brain picks up on something. “Shit.”

 

“Oh Blaine, no.”

 

“The party. That girl’s nanny.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“The nanny. The one I met the other day, for the playdate? She was asking me all these questions...about you...us, if we’d adopted.”

 

“Uh....and what?” Kurt asks in a low voice. “You just told her everything?”

 

Feeling sick to the pit of my stomach, I hang my head as Kurt lets go of my hand. “She seemed nice. You know when we went to brunch at that place, and they said they wouldn’t say we were there? I remember you said the manager seemed trustworthy, and we both agreed that instinct was telling us he was okay. It was... I thought of that, you know? She seemed so nice, and I just decided to trust my instincts. I just... that was wrong of me, wasn’t it?”

 

“Just a little, Blaine, yes.” Kurt presses his fingers into the corners of his eyes and lets out a long breath. “Just a fucking little bit. Jesus CHRIST, BLAINE! What in the HELL were you thinking?”

 

“I don’t know! I told you, she seemed nice! It was good to talk to someone about stuff.”

 

“Stuff? Like all of our personal issues?”

 

“No! I didn’t sell us out, Kurt. The stuff in that article? I didn’t say that. Not like it seems, anyway.” 

 

“You told her about Maggie?”

 

“She asked where she was, why I just had Alice and Joshua. I told her she was with Polly, trying to work through separation anxiety. She asked how come that had appeared, and I just bluffed my way through it, said that there were issues in the past but we were dealing with them. I didn’t tell her about Carole, or the counseling.”

 

“Oh, well that’s okay then. So now she just thinks I’m a shit foster carer who railroaded you into a relationship which you resent.”

 

“I didn’t say that, either! I swear to you, Kurt, I never would. She asked how we met and I told her.”

 

“ _ What _ did you tell her, though?” 

 

“That I was Maggie’s piano teacher and that we just started hanging out. She... I mean, I guess she was fishing, now that I look back on it, because she asked if we were both single, and I kinda joked. I said we were both single and one of us wasn’t even gay. It went from there.” 

 

“It gets better and better,” Kurt says with a sigh. “Or worse and worse.”

 

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I had no idea. I just... I’m so sorry.” 

 

“You know what gets me, Blaine?” He gets to his feet and starts to pace across the room. I don’t know what gets him; I have a feeling I’m not supposed to try and guess, either, and I also don’t think I’m going to like the answer. 

 

“I’ll tell you what gets me,” he continues. “When all of this first blew up; those pictures in that magazine, your only thought was for the privacy of the kids, and me. Then when we decided to give it a go, you said you hated all the intense speculation, the pictures, the blogs...all of that, but that you’d take it, if it meant we could be together. We’re trying our best, I thought, to give our kids a normal life, to carry on with our own business regardless of anything anyone says, or any photos that come out. Even so, it’s been upsetting you, I know it has. So why, then... WHY, would you spill secrets...thoughts and feelings that you haven’t even told ME, to someone you’ve met twice? This...what’s her name, she... hang on. What is her name?”

 

“Uh... I don’t know.”

 

“Blaine! You see? You see how stupid you’ve been?”

 

“No, Kurt. You know what I see? I see me, living a perfectly ordinary and mundane life and then, I met you. I had no clue as to the level or type of fame you had, and by the time I did, I had fallen so deeply in love with you that you could’ve been a mass murderer and I’d still have found it too hard to walk away. Your fame... it’s different to how I imagined fame to be. Sure, I’ve seen pictures of Hollywood legends, walking the streets of LA, or hand in hand with their loved one on a beach somewhere, but this? This is a rabid fandom, of not one, but two massively popular franchises. Everyone wants to know your every move. And for some reason, I fall into that category too, and I don’t know how to handle it.”

 

“By not speaking to people you don’t know!”

 

“That’s just it, though, Kurt, you say that, but then you pitch up at a restaurant and take the manager’s word when he says he won’t mention our presence. And what about Marc? You trusted him.” 

 

“Yes, but..”

 

“But nothing! I’m only human, Kurt. I made a mistake. Your dad greets us at the airport with a huge banner, and yells our names out, and you think it’s funny, because it’s him. He’d never sell you out, just like I haven’t. All that stuff about me finding it hard as a step foster carer? I never said that, and I never would. Do I live in constant fear of losing them? Yes, if I’m honest, it keeps me awake at night, but you know that, you knew it before we met. I didn’t tell it to that woman, though. We were watching the girls play, and she said it's funny how you come to love them, and you’d be so upset if you suddenly didn’t see them again. I assumed she was talking about being a nanny, what else was I supposed to think? So I agreed. That’s all.”

 

“Ugh, this is shit!” Kurt cries, and then he kicks the end of the bed for good measure. “And that fucking hurt!”

 

“Kurt.” I go to him, take him in my arms, and he lets me. “I love you,” I say as I hold him against me. “I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love anyone. You have to know I’d never talk about you...us...like that. I’m sorry for letting some stuff slip, stuff that I should’ve avoided, but I’m just...proud. That’s my problem. People ask about you and the kids and I want to tell them. I want to brag, because you’re amazing. I get myself in a tangle with explaining it all, and I’m sorry for that, too, but please know that whatever stupid mistakes I made, I made because I love you so much.” 

 

His arms come around my neck, and he kisses there softly. “I do know that,” he murmurs. “I do. I'm just so angry that people could do this to us, you know? First Marc, now her. And there’s not a damn thing we can do about it except hold our heads high and pretend like it doesn’t matter.”

 

“Let’s do that, then.” 

 

“It does matter, though, because I'm angry. And my toe hurts.” 

 

“Well, at least your anger means you care, right?” 

 

He pulls back, looks me in the eye and for a moment, I wonder if he’s going to lose it with me again. 

 

He doesn’t. 

 

He kisses me, hard, pushing me back onto the bed. I welcome him on top of me, welcome the feel of his hands quickly pushing my pajama pants down before he removes his own clothes. 

 

He is loving, sweet, and tender, but there’s a dark, hard edge to his lovemaking that tells me he’s still angry, although not with me. We move quickly; suddenly desperate to connect in this way. 

 

“God, I love you,” Kurt says, sighing in pleasure as he enters me. “Blaine... Yes.”

 

I lift my legs, wrapping them around his waist. Kurt’s thrusts are long, deep, and tearing me open. “Stay on your back,” he murmurs, his forehead pressed against my ear. “Please.”

 

“Yes.” I didn’t have any intention of  moving anyway; it feels too good. Kurt is owning me, doing what he needs to do to feel like we’re okay again. As for me, I welcome it. I want him to claim me, I want to feel him close to me, inside of me, because it only serves to reflect how much we love each other. 

 

“Don’t stop.” 

 

He laughs at this, and finds my lips in a sloppy kiss. “I wasn’t planning on it, trust me. You okay?”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Not hurting?”

 

“I didn’t say that. Just don’t stop.” 

 

He laughs again, and presses closer, quickening his pace. I know what he needs to do, where he needs to go, to finally tip me over the edge and then, suddenly, he does. 

 

“Holy shit!” I lift my hips clean off the bed, and, given the way Kurt is gripping my shoulders so tightly, I decide to finish myself. 

 

“Yeah,” Kurt murmurs. “Go on, Blaine. Go on.” 

 

I come, reaching that moment when everything feels so incredibly amazing that all I can do is gasp, and cry out. Kurt follows, with one final, deep, push; so hard that I feel tears pricking at my eyes. He almost growls; some kind of animal instinct possessing him and turning him into a much darker lover than I recognize. 

 

Then he is silent and still, collapsed on top of me, still buried inside. I sense it. I know how he’s feeling, and so I hold him gently in my arms, smoothing my hands over his back. “It’s okay.” 

 

“No it’s not.” His voice is muffled, buried against my shoulder. “I got mad at you and I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

 

“We’re supposed to be a team. I ruined that.” 

 

“Oh hey, you didn’t ruin anything. Couples fight. You were angry and upset. Understandably so.” 

 

“I didn’t give you a chance to defend yourself. I just yelled.” 

 

“So? I seem to recall that I yelled too, after you’d done that talk show. You’ve apologized.”

 

“Not really. I just fucked you.” 

 

“No complaints.” I laugh, but Kurt isn’t in the mood. He pulls out and heads to the bathroom, distraught. 

 

I give him five, and then follow, to find him standing under the shower, his face tilted up to the spray. I move behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his cheek. 

 

“Kurt listen to me. I love you, so much. And loving you means accepting that you have faults, just as you already do with me. When I was doubting whether we could ever work out, you were so patient and loyal. Focus on that, rather than a momentary spat we had because you were angry. Trust me when I tell you that it’s over and done with. How do you feel, now, about me talking to that woman?”

 

He sighs, and leans his head back onto my shoulder, closing his eyes. “Like... Like it was so typically Blaine of you, to be so trusting and open, that I can’t even be mad.”

 

“So how do you think I feel about you yelling?”

 

“Like.... It was so typically Kurt of me... Damn.” He straightens up and turns to face me. “How did you do that? See? That’s what makes you a good...”

 

“Lover?”

 

He raises one eyebrow. “I was going to say parent, but we can go with that.” 

 

He smiles then, wraps his arms around me and kisses my lips. I know everything is okay. 

 

Burt doesn’t though, and when he arrives home he enters the house like Daniel entering the Lion’s den. “Oh,” he says when he sees us lying on the couch watching TV. “Oh.”

 

Kurt laughs. “What, are you disappointed?”

 

“No,” he says. “Relieved, and you know it. Hey, I was telling Maggie about the new lake trail that’s opened up. I thought we could walk it this afternoon.”

 

“Sure.” 

 

I wait until he’s left the room, and the girls are occupied with the TV. “Kurt, I can’t walk.” 

 

He grins, pleased with himself, and kisses into my hair. “Excellent.” 

 

“No, not excellent, Kurt. You’ve ruined me.” 

 

He laughs. “I have not. You’ll be fine once you get going, you’ll see.”  

 

I’m not fine; there’s a dull ache that seems to run through me for the whole time I’m moving, but it’s not too bad, and the trail we walk is so pretty that it’s easy to be distracted. I find myself walking with Burt, who won’t let anyone else push the stroller, and Kurt walks on ahead, with Alice on his shoulders and Maggie by his side. 

 

“He’s a happy boy.”

 

“Joshua?”

 

“Kurt.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Burt laughs. “You wait, you’ll still think of Joshua as a little boy when he’s thirty, too.” 

 

“I hope so.” 

 

“What’s that mean?”

 

“It means I hope he’s still with us.” I wait, letting Kurt get even further ahead. “I live in fear of someone showing up, their mother, for example, and them being taken away. Poor Maggie, I mean, she’d never cope.”

 

“Neither would you. Either of you.”

 

“Exactly. And you know what? I love Kurt, but I’m not sure we’d survive that as a couple. We’re not strong enough yet.”

 

“Understandable.” He sighs. “So, then, you need to talk with him, don’t you? Tell him all of this.”

 

“I’ve tried, several times.”

 

“And?”

 

“And he doesn’t seem to pick up on my hints.”

 

“Hints aren’t any good, sunshine. You need to come right out and say it. Tell him you’re scared. I mean, what do you wanna do? Adopt them?”

 

We begin walking again and I hang my head, not able to look him in the eye. “Yes, but I don’t think Kurt does. You heard him last night. And it’s not my decision to make, is it? Not my subject to raise. He took them in; their permanence is his decision.” 

 

“I don’t think that’s the case, but it’s your shout. Maybe try another tactic?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Did you like the idea of moving out of the city?”

 

“Kinda.” 

 

“But?”

 

I take Burt’s advice, and I come right out and say it. “I think Kurt would want to come back here, and I’d want to stay in New York State.”

 

“Right.”

 

“He wants you nearby.”

 

Burt frowns. “You sure on that?”

 

“Positive. He misses you. With the kids, now, Maggie especially. I think he feels that it would be nice to have you around, for advice, a friendly face.”

 

“Hmm. And you’d want to be near your parents?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well you know, I’m not necessarily a permanent fixture in Ohio. Maybe, if Kurt could envision a life where you lived in peace and quiet, near to me, near to your folks, raising the kids together, then maybe he’d stop dodging the issue of adoption and realize it’s the best way forward for everyone.”

 

“Why do you think he’s dodging it?”

 

“He’s scared they’ll say no. Object.”

 

I stop dead. “Do you think they would? I couldn’t... I mean, if they...”

 

“Jeez you’re as bad as he is. No, I don’t think they’d object, I think they’d be grateful to have three kids taken off their caseload.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

We walk a little longer in silence, stopping when we see Kurt slowing down to wait for us. “So then?”

 

Burt smiles. “So then, my boy, I think you and I need to hatch a plan.” 


	23. Chapter 23

**Kurt**

 

Despite all the craziness over the magazine article, our weekend with dad is wonderful, and Blaine seems happier than ever as we return to New York. I try to reflect that, but I find it tough to say goodbye to dad at the airport, knowing that I won’t see him for three weeks, and knowing that tomorrow, Carole will be back for another session of therapy. 

 

“You can cry,” Blaine tells me once the plane is up. “It’s okay.”

 

I put my head onto his shoulder, and do just that. 

 

We arrive home mid-afternoon, and I figure we can curl up and watch a movie before dinner, only Cooper Anderson has other plans. 

 

“Welcome home!” he calls, opening the door. “How was papa Burt?”

 

“Why are you in my house?”

 

“Working.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh, I decided to take the job,” he announces. “Given that you two seem to need guidance in how to exist as the hottest celebrity couple in town. You’re hopeless, the pair of you. Quinn more or less begged me to come on board. By the way, did you know Quinn is...”

 

“Yes.” 

 

Blaine stops, and stares. “No. I didn’t, anyway. How did you find out, Cooper?”

 

He grins. “How do you think?” Subject dropped, he scoops Maggie and Alice into his arms and kisses them. “Come see my new office. I put my name on the door and everything.” 

 

And he has. While we’ve been gone, Cooper has erased all traces of Marc, and set himself up at the second desk in the office. He’s even set a framed photo of himself and the kids on the desk, in a ‘world’s best uncle’ frame. 

 

“Who gave you that?”

 

“I bought it. Now, kids, I’m going to set you up with a movie, and then me and these two fools are going to have a chat. Sit, please.” 

 

He takes Joshua, and the girls trail him from the room, while Blaine and I look at each other, entirely lost. “I mean...”

 

“So he’s your assistant, now?” Blaine asks. 

 

“I guess so.”

 

“The plaque on the door says he is.”

 

“I know. ‘Cooper Anderson, assistant to the useless Kurt Hummel.’ Yep, that sums it up.” 

 

“You’re not useless. He’s an idiot.”

 

“Well, yes.” 

 

Blaine laughs. Sitting on the edge of the desk, he pulls me between his legs. “What’s your schedule like this week?”

 

“Crazy. I was supposed to be off Saturday, but I’m needed now. Hopefully only for a few hours.”

 

“I might have a gig Saturday.”

 

“Oh?”   
  
“Yeah, and I was wondering if I could take you out for dinner beforehand. Do you think Maggie would be okay if I asked Polly or Cooper to sit?”

 

“I think that as long as she knows it’s only for a few hours, and we’re definitely not gone all night? We could maybe promise to wake her up when we come home?”

 

“That could work. Yeah.”

 

“I’d like that.” I find myself swooning, almost; the thought that Blaine wants to take me out on the town in spite of everything, fills me with complete joy. “A date.”

 

“A date.”

 

“Where are you playing? The same place as before?”

 

“No, a new bar that’s opened up in the East Village. Nicer, I hope.” 

 

“Will you play a song for me?”

 

“Always, Kurt, you know that. I’ll still be playing songs for you when I’m a hundred.” 

 

Our lips have barely touched when Cooper returns. “Put him down,” he orders. “And sit. In a chair. Separate chairs.” 

 

For some reason, we comply without question. I often find myself going along with whatever Cooper tells me, and yet, I completely adore him. Strange. 

 

He takes his seat behind his desk, clapping his hands together. “Okay, boys and girls. Or boys, actually. Just boys. Let me start by saying this. You two are the most ridiculous people I’ve ever met.” 

 

“I’m your brother!”

 

“I know,” Cooper says, nodding at Blaine. “And it comes from a place of love, man. A place of love. Quinn and I have been locked in a meeting all weekend, trying to decide what to do with you. Developing a strategy, she said.” 

 

“What do you mean, strategy?” I ask warily. “Shouldn't Quinn be dealing with this? Or my publicist?” 

 

“Quinn was worried about Blaine freaking out, so it was left to me.”

 

“Okay, now I'm worried.” I look between the both of them. “Blaine, what's he gonna say?”

 

“I don't know, do I? I don't know how this fame game works.”

 

“We were thinking a photo shoot,” Cooper begins. 

 

“No!” we say it simultaneously, and Cooper holds his hands up. 

 

“Hear me out. In a classy magazine, of course. Your choice. Time it to coincide with the release of Firestone. The way we see it, by letting the public see a certain, carefully constructed side of your private family life, you might just take the heat off of this desperate desire to take pictures.” 

 

“Not our kids,” Blaine snaps. “No way.”

 

“Blaine, Maggie is starting school next week. Alice is in pre K, and it won't be too long before Joshua starts socializing too. People are going to know who they are and who their parents are. It's only a matter of time before their names, or their photos, are leaked to a site with less scruples than we've seen so far. Would you rather have grainy, out of focus, unflattering shots of Alice having a tantrum, or pretty pictures of you all assembled round the piano for a sing along?”

 

“Neither. Kurt, tell him he's stupid.”

 

I clear my throat softly. “Actually, I think he has a point.”

 

“What? You do not! Surely, Kurt. No.”

 

“Blaine, I....”

 

“I told you when we got together, Kurt. No red carpets, no family photo shoots.”

 

“I know you did, I know, and I'm in agreement, you know I am. But the fact is, this isn't stopping, Blaine. It's only getting worse. And I'm tired of watching what I say, or where we go. I'm fed up of getting texts from your friends to tell us we’re online yet again. The fact is, if we did a shoot, those pictures would circulate the internet for months, and because they'd be glossier, more attractive, and more in depth than anything any fan can capture on a phone, the candid shots will...decrease, at least.”

 

Blaine sighs, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “So if we do that, then what? Presumably there’d be an interview to accompany that?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“And how do we answer questions about Joshua? Since everyone seems to be convinced that he's mine, when in fact, he's...” 

 

He breaks off, his voice cracking slightly. 

 

“We tell them they're not to ask,” I say, taking his hand in mine. 

 

“Quinn and I went through that,” Cooper says. His voice is soft, caring, and I can see Blaine finally starting to listen. “We drew up a list of ideas. We’d direct it very heavily, Blaine. Make sure that nothing was mentioned unless you had given permission.” 

 

“I hate this.” 

 

“I hate it too,” Cooper tells him. “Which is why I'm going to do this job, because if I can make life easier in any way for you guys, then I'll feel like I've done my bit, at least.”

 

There is silence, while Blaine thinks. He looks at me, his dark eyes swimming with tears. “Okay,” he whispers. Then, “Yeah, okay,” he says again, in a firmer voice. “I love you, and I love them. I'm proud of our family, so yes. One thing, though. You need to check that this won't alert their biological family to their whereabouts. If it prompts them to try and get money out of you or something...”

 

“It won't,” Cooper says, quickly coming to the rescue. “We've already covered that.” 

 

“You really have thought of everything, haven't you?” 

 

I smile, and squeeze Blaine’s hand. “And we’re grateful, right?” 

 

He shrugs. “I'll let you know.” 

 

From that moment on, it seems as though our life becomes a blur. I’m busy with filming, and then trying to fit in as much time with the kids as possible. Cooper and Quinn are busy arranging promotion for the show; going back and forth between the studio, publicists, and journalists, and in amongst it all, Blaine and I agree to do a shoot for a glossy magazine that Polly tells me is the kind of thing we should be aiming for. Then Carole returns.

 

She spends a whole afternoon with Maggie and Alice, and we are not allowed near. That’s frustrating, unnerving, and annoying for me, and although Blaine does his best to distract me, I spend a lot of time waiting outside of the playroom door, until weare summoned. 

 

“They’re scared,” Carole says, as if we might not have realized. “They need to feel like they belong. In a way, because you love them so much, that almost makes the fear of losing you even worse. Maggie can very clearly remember both of her parents leaving the house for the last time, and she’s scared of it happening again. She’s worried about what would happen to them in the aftermath, although she does acknowledge that she has your parents and Blaine’s brother who would always be there. That was progress.” 

 

“I don’t get why she’s okay about us going out, or me being away, but not both of us being gone overnight.” 

 

“I think that’s just something she’s built up in her mind,” Carole explains. “She likes being with all the people you leave her with; Polly, Cooper, Quinn, school. She’s fine, and comfortable, and she enjoys herself. That’s great. The problem comes when she’s not busy, such as at night, and she gets to thinking. She builds things up in her head until it’s entirely irrational, and so that night, when you were both gone, she could see all of those fears possibly becoming a reality.” 

 

While I take on board everything Carole is saying, it still seems alien to me that Maggie can be suffering so much inner turmoil. Sometimes I see it, of course; she goes into very deep thought, and I notice that Alice will always gravitate towards her when that happens, but at the same time, come Saturday night, when Maggie is pushing me and Blaine out of the front door, I can’t reconcile her with the damaged child Carole seems to think we have. 

 

“Go!” she cries, laughing loudly. “We want party time with Cooper.”

 

“Party time?” I whirl about in the doorway and throw him a dark look. “What is that, Cooper? Don’t you dare disrupt their bedtime.”

 

“I would never!” He grins, his blue eyes sparkling with mischievous intent. “I swear they’ll be sleeping by the time you get back.”

 

“I don’t finish playing until midnight,” Blaine points out. 

 

“Middle night!” Alice shrieks. “Maggie, we don’t have to go to sleep until middle night!”

 

“Don’t you dare,” I warn, but now all three of them are pushing us off the front steps, giggling manically, and even Joshua is trying to lend a hand. 

 

“Fine,” Blaine huffs, taking my hand. “We’re going. Behave, Cooper.”

 

It is our turn to laugh once we’re in the cab, of course. We both know that Cooper- despite his protests to the contrary- is very responsible and loving with the kids, which is why we feel happy to leave them in his care. 

 

“I like the way Cooper is at ease in our home,” I comment as we head towards the restaurant for dinner. “It’s not like I have an assistant. More like he’s just part of the furniture.”

 

“I’ll tell him.”

 

“Hmm. Do.” I look over at Blaine, who is staring out of the cab window and biting his lip. “You nervous?”

 

“For the shoot.”

 

“That’s next week.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Oh Blaine.” 

 

“I can’t help it, Kurt.” 

 

“I know. You know what, though? I know you don’t feel comfortable about it, but I think you’ll feel more uncomfortable if you’re constantly afraid of the kids names getting out there, or saying the  wrong thing.”

 

“It’s their birth family I’m scared of. I can see them trying to get money out of us. You know, we’ll demand the kids back unless you pay us a million dollars. That type of thing.”

 

I shrug. “I’d pay fifty times that, wouldn’t you?”

 

“Not the point, Kurt.”

 

“I know. But it’s all in hand, trust me.” 

 

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath and then looks at me with a smile. “I’ll trust you.”

 

It’s nice to be out to dinner, just the two of us. It’s always like we revert back to how a couple should be in the early stages of a relationship, which, I suppose, we are. There’s endless talk, mostly about music, movies and TV, and lots of flirting. It’s not a conscious decision not to talk about the kids, or family, or work, but at the same time, I think we’re both mindful of the fact that we need a break from that every now and again. 

 

“Are you singing your own stuff tonight?” I ask over dessert. 

 

“A little. Probably more covers, to be honest. Since it’s a new venue, I like to establish a base with familiar songs, you know? I’m not sure people would keep returning if it was just my own stuff.”

 

“I would.”

 

“Because you’d be trying to sleep with me.” 

 

“That’s... only partially true.”

 

He laughs. “Anyway, if they ask me back again, and hopefully again, I’ll have plenty of opportunity to work original music into the set list.” 

 

“Will you...”

 

“Sing one for you? Do you even have to ask?”

 

I smile too, resting my chin on the palm of my hand. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you too, and uh...actually, I’ve been thinking.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“About what your dad said. Kurt, I think... I think I’d find all of this a lot easier to handle if we weren’t subject to scrutiny every time we set foot outside the door.”

 

“Right.” 

 

“This is.... Oh, gosh.” He waits, watching as the waiter clears our plates. He’s terrified, I can tell, which in turn makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. 

 

“Blaine, please.” 

 

“You’re so patient.”

 

“Yeah, no I’m not. Out with it.” 

 

“I feel like I don’t really have any right to ask this, but I’d like for us to move out of the city. I love where we live, I do, and I love New York, you know that, but... raising a family? I’d like... gosh, Kurt, I’d like us to find a forever home, you know? With lots of space for the kids to run and play, with a cute little school for them to attend, a place where they- and us- can make friends. And I feel like I can’t ask that of you, because of your work, and because....well, because I don’t have any money, do I? So it’d be down to you. But I could work? I’ve been writing songs...I could try and sell some of them, or I could teach? I mean....”

 

Finally, my voice comes, and I swallow over the lump of emotion in my throat. “A forever home?”

 

He frowns. “Why are you all squeaky?”

 

“Shut up. A forever home?”

 

He smiles then, and reaches for my hand. “Yeah.”

 

“That’s.... Excuse me for a moment.” Lifting my napkin to my face, I have to bite into it to keep from screaming my pure, unadulterated joy. My face feels like it might split, or implode, or both, but somehow, I manage to arrange my features into something a little less maniacal, and calm my beating heart enough to say “That would be something I could do, yes.”

 

“Really?”

 

I lean right across the table, squeezing both of Blaine’s hands in a death grip. “Are you kidding me? You’ve just made my whole life! Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes please. Yes.”

 

“Is that a...”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ah. I wondered. You weren’t quite clear.” Blaine laughs, every one of his features visibly relaxing, and then lighting up with joy. “Yes.”

 

“It’s a nice word, isn’t it?” 

 

“The absolute best.” He raises my hands to his lips and kisses them softly. “Wow.” 

 

“I think....” I look around, and signal for the check. “I think we should go now, and steal a moment some place before the show starts, don’t you think?”

 

“I think that sounds like a very good idea,” Blaine says, hurriedly getting to his feet. 

 

Our moment doesn’t happen until we’re backstage at the piano bar. Actually, the backstage area is really just a storage room, filled with stock, extra chairs, plus a tiny sink and a mirror, but it’s better than making out in an alleyway somewhere, which neither of us fancied doing. 

 

“Get here, you,” Blaine orders, and damn, if that doesn’t thrill me deeply. I practically swoon as he kisses me; eagerly accepting him into my lap. He straddles me, framing my face with his hands, tilting me up for our lips to meet. “You’ve made my life complete,” he murmurs before kissing me again. “You, the kids, now this? Does that make us a proper family, in your eyes?”

 

I pull back slightly, pondering his strange question. It’s as if he can read my mind. “I think we’re a proper family regardless of where we live, but I think... waking up with you every day, watching our kids grow up in the same house, making a small town our home... I think it’s going to be spectacular.”

 

Blaine grins widely. “I agree. And just so you know? We can look wherever you want. Upstate, in another State...East Coast, West Coast...wherever you want.”

 

I nod, my scrambled brain trying to figure everything out. “Can I think on that? Can we discuss it another time? I think I just need to swoon a little. My boyfriend wants to buy a forever home with me and our kids. I gotta live in that moment.” 

 

“Oh Kurt.” He laughs, leaning close to kiss behind my ear. “Live the moment. Live all of them. Just live them with me, please.”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of living them with anyone else.” 

  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Blaine**

 

That night, when I step out on stage, it is with a renewed sense of purpose. It is also with lips swollen from too many kisses, and a hickey neatly hidden under the collar of my shirt. The thought of it, and the sight of Kurt in the audience, combined with the knowledge that we’re about to properly ‘settle down’ together, is enough to ensure that I’m already grinning like an idiot, and that’s before I see how many people are packed into the room. 

 

I falter for a moment; I know why they’re all here; it has nothing to do with my music and everything to do with them wanting to catch a glimpse of Kurt, and to see who he’s sleeping with. But then, his words come back to me I realize now, that he’d known this would happen, and I can’t help but smile. 

 

“Just remember, Blaine, this is your chance to show everyone what you can do. Who you are. How utterly, completely amazingly talented a musician you are, and how lucky I am to have you in my life. Prove yourself.” 

 

And so I do. 

 

“Hey, everyone.” I pull my stool close to the piano and flex my fingers. “Thanks for coming out. So, uh... you’ve seen me now, right? You can all go home if you want.” 

 

There’s some light laughter, and one laugh that I recognize above all the others. Kurt stands near to the bar, tucked away in the shadows, smiling. He sees me, and sticks a thumb up, then blows a kiss. 

 

“So I’m Blaine. The mysterious boyfriend of Kurt Hummel.”

 

This time, there are wild cheers, particularly from a table of girls right near the front. It makes me laugh, rather than fill me with fear. They might all only be here on a speculative basis, but I have a feeling it’s a friendly crowd, at least. 

 

“Actually, I can’t really pretend there’s much mystery. I’m a regular guy; I forget to take the trash out, I watch football, and I play the piano. Kurt’s the real enigma, which is probably why he’s hiding over there, near the bar, in the shadows. You’re welcome. Let’s begin!”

 

I hear Kurt’s shocked laugh even as I start to play, and of course, the table full of girls spin right around in their seats and start frantically whispering to each other. But they do stay seated. And, when I start to sing, they turn back to the stage and listen. 

 

It’s a young crowd; college age, mostly, so I keep it mostly modern with a few classics thrown in. I feel them with me, I hear them singing, and every time I look over, which is a lot, Kurt is enjoying himself more and more. 

 

There is no interval; it’s a straight hour long set; the venue had hinted I might get given longer next time if I proved myself this time around, and so I really do try my best. The cheers get louder as the evening wears on, which is either to do with the alcohol or my performance, but whatever the reason, I’ll take it. 

 

“So uh...” I sip my water, find Kurt in the crowd again, and relax. “So one of mine and Kurt’s favorite things to do is uh...”

 

“Sex!” 

 

I know I blush at the girl’s shout, but although everyone laughs, and a few people cheer, it doesn’t feel nasty, or invasive. It feels more like she was just making the obvious joke, to be funny, rather than unkind. 

 

“That’s uh... that’s definitely one of them,” I manage to get out, and this time there are whoops and hollers from all over, while Kurt shakes his head, laughing. “I’ve embarrassed him,” I say, unable to keep from laughing. “One of our other favorite things, is to sing Disney songs. Anyone else here a fan? I’m happy to take some requests.” 

 

It was the right thing to say. The call-outs come thick and fast, and the final fifteen minutes gets extended into a half hour when the manager comes over and tells me I can keep playing. We go from Mary Poppins, to Mulan, and back again, and each time I finish, more and more people are calling out suggestions. 

 

“Toy Story!” 

 

I know his voice instantly, although I can’t now see him, because more people have moved forward. “A request from Kurt Hummel, how can I say no? Okay, Toy Story.” I look directly at the table full of girls and smile. “This is our eldest daughter’s favorite song.” 

 

I’m not expecting Kurt to arrive at the front, and his presence throws me for a moment. He’s enjoying himself immensely, singing along and not caring that his every move is being captured. It might be a packed bar, full of fans, but I still get the feeling that this evening is about me and him, and no one else. 

 

I can’t stop in the middle of a song, but I jerk my head, and to my utter surprise, Kurt instantly climbs up onto the stage and squeezes on the stool next to me. We sing the rest of the number together, though frankly, we could be singing the phone book in German; it’s impossible to hear over the noise. Still, the applause is rapturous when we finish, and there’s lots of cries of “More!”

 

I look to Kurt, and his eyes tell me all I need to know. 

 

“One more,” I say, to everyone’s delight. “I can show you the world...” The screams are deafening, but they do quiet quickly; everyone’s filming, or taking pictures, but it’s still just Kurt and I, together on the piano bench, just as we are at home. 

 

Kurt sings beautifully; he does have a high voice, but it’s glorious, perfect in both pitch and tone. I could sing with him, or listen to him, forever. We seem to blend together perfectly, as if we were made to duet. The thought makes me smile, and Kurt returns it. 

 

“A wondrous place, just you and me.” I bring the song to a close, lean in, and kiss the love of my life, gently on the lips. “You’re amazing,” I whisper, and then I pull back, and together, we take a bow. 

 

Kurt is quick to leave the stage, and yet the audience keep cheering. I bow again, and again, and then I hop down, too embarrassed now I’ve no longer got my singing to hide behind. I am immediately swamped. My guitar case full of CD’s- an EP I recorded over two years ago- sells out in record time. My promotional email list is filled, and someone brings over another piece of paper that also gets filled right up. There’s selfies, signatures, questions, and I can barely keep up with it all. 

 

The strange thing is, people go out of their way to congratulate me, or to say kind things about my performance. Of course, there’s comments and questions about Kurt, and everyone seems to pass by the bar on their way out, in order that they might get a selfie with a real star, but even so, they take time to see me for me; not Kurt’s boyfriend. Me. 

 

It takes a long time for the crowd to drift away, either to leave or to get a drink and sit down, but eventually, I make my way to Kurt, who slides an arm about my waist, hands me a beer, and kisses my cheek. 

 

“I have possibly never felt more proud.”

 

“Really?” I drink, then kiss him again, laughing when he grimaces at the taste of beer. “I think it went well.”

 

“Well? Oh my God, Blaine, you were amazing! You were so alive up there! So... into it all. You loved every second and don’t you even try to tell me otherwise.”

 

“No, yeah, I did. But so did you.”

 

“Hell yes! I had a great time. Did you feel the vibe? Like everyone was here to get a look at you but then, bonus, you really can sing.” 

 

“Yes. But also, like...like no one wanted me to fail.”

 

“Yes! You see? I know, Blaine, I really do know, that all the attention can be a pain in the ass, but also? There are good people in the world. Fans who want nothing more than to see you do well. Please remember that, because if we’re going to be forever home buddies, and all that, then I’m afraid by default, a lot of my fans are going to want to follow your career, too.”

 

“Buddies?”

 

He shrugs and turns away to sip his drink. “Well.” 

 

“And all that?”

 

This time, he tries to suppress a smile. 

 

“I want all that,” I say, moving closer. “Whatever all that might entail.”

 

Kurt turns to face me, draping his arms over my shoulders. “Well...”

 

“Oh, excuse me.” 

 

We both stop and turn to look at the young woman in front of us, who had been sitting at the table in front of the stage. She holds my CD in her hand, and her phone. “You were having a moment. I’m sorry. I’ll just...”

 

Reluctantly, I let go of Kurt, and smile. “No, it’s okay, really.”

 

“I only wanted to say thanks for tonight,” she blurts. She blushes slightly, glances back to her friends, and takes a shaking breath. “I’ll be honest, we only came to see if Kurt would be here, but we were so impressed with your music.”

 

“Oh, well, thank you.” I smile, it’s hard not to. The way she keeps glancing at Kurt is sweet, and she’s incredibly shy. 

 

“I really liked your own stuff. If you ever play here again, I’d love to hear more of it.”

 

“Well, I’d like that too. I enjoyed the gig.”

 

“Good.” She smiles, bounces a little, then glances back to her friends. “Well, that was all I wanted to say, really. Just uh... really well done. I loved it.” 

 

“Thank you.” 

 

“And uh... It’s nice to see you so happy,” she adds, turning scarlet. “And now that really is all.” 

 

“No it’s not!” one of her friends calls. “Just ask, Cheryl!”

 

Kurt raises an eyebrow and I swear the girl almost faints. “There’s more? Do tell.”

 

“Uhhhh.... It was just... A picture with both of you...If you... But I mean, I understand, because of all the press...I just...Thank you anyway.” 

 

“You haven’t asked, yet,” Kurt points out, clearly amused. 

 

“No. Right. Because obviously you don’t want...”

 

“It’s fine,” I say, coming to her rescue. “Do you want your friends in, or just you?”

 

“Oh! I mean...”

 

“Both,” Kurt decides. “We’ll do both.” He takes the phone from the girl’s trembling hand, and holds it up. She stands in the middle of us, and beams. The picture is cute, and she’s happy. Kurt calls her friends over too, and has the barman take a shot of all of us. 

 

“Thank you!” she squeaks. “I promise I won’t put it online or anything. Because...”

 

“You know what?” I lean over her shoulder and look at the picture. “You can, if you want. Kurt and I were just saying how nice of an evening we’ve had. I don’t think... I mean I don’t like necessarily _ all _ of the attention, but I also appreciate you coming tonight, and staying, and taking time out to thank me. So uh... So yeah. If you want to tell the world you met Kurt Hummel, then why not? He’s pretty terrific.”

 

The girl grins, and quickly hugs me. “And so is Blaine Anderson,” she says. “Thank you. Both of you!”

 

The group walk away, among talk of “they’re so cute!” and “such nice guys!” and on and on as their voices drift out into the street. 

 

“Was that okay?” I ask Kurt, who is crunching the ice from his drink loudly, just to annoy me. 

 

“Yep.”

 

“Quit with that.” 

 

“Nope.” He grins wickedly. “You’re quite good at being a celebrity, you know that?”

 

“Oh don’t you dare.” 

 

He laughs. “C’mon. Let’s go home. This might be fun, but behind closed doors is better.” 

 

We’re much relieved when we get home to learn that Maggie has been fine all evening, but she’s also obviously been waiting for us to come home, since she appears at the top of the stairs as soon as we’ve closed the door to Cooper. 

 

“You come back.” 

 

I smile, and walk up the stairs to her. “We said we would.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Carole was wondering if you might like to have a chart on your wall, where we could write down the times we go out, and what time we’ll be back? Then you could know.”

 

“Will you teach me to tell time?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Then yes.” She takes my hand and pulls me toward her room. “I’m tired now. You and Kurt can put me into bed.” 

 

“Sure thing.” 

 

By the time Kurt has finished kissing her and smoothing her hair, Maggie is asleep. One look at Kurt’s face, as he turns to me, is enough. We stumble down the hallway, kissing passionately, lock the door, and then finally, our evening can really begin. 

 

As it is, we make love for so long that by the time we’re done, and we’ve shared a shower, the dawn is starting to break over the city. “Wow,” Kurt murmurs. He lies behind me, wrapped around my exhausted body. “Have we really been at it for that long?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

He laughs, and kisses my neck. “I like that.”

 

“Mmm.” I’m on the edge of sleep; my eyes are heavy, my body fully relaxed. 

 

“I have to go away soon.” 

 

“Huh?” Awake again, I turn to face him. “What for? Reshoots?”

 

“Yeah, something like that.”

 

“Oh, well, we’ll come with you.”

 

“You can’t, Maggie will be in school, remember? I’ll take Cooper.” 

 

“Haha. Good luck to you.”

 

“I’m gonna need it.” He kisses me once again, and then we sleep. 

 

The next morning brings an exuberant Quinn to the house, kissing my cheek as she drops a bag full of muffins onto the counter. “You are wonderful!”

 

“Oh, I’m really not.”

 

“You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”

 

“No, but even so...”

 

“Shut up, then. Your gig, last night. It’s all over everywhere. The best PR we could have asked for.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Haven’t you read the comments?”

 

“No.”

 

“Didn’t you think to check online for reviews?”

 

“I’ve only just woken up,” I say, gesturing to my pyjamas. “I didn’t go to sleep until five.”

 

“Why? What were you....? You know what? Don’t answer. Take a look.” She hands me her phone. “I’ll go wake the kids for you.” 

 

The girl did share the photos she took with Kurt and I, but she also shared the most beautifully written post about her evening, and it’s highly complimentary. 

 

“They’re just the sweetest. Blaine has a talent for singing and songwriting that should be heard on the world’s stage. I’ll admit, I had written him off as Kurt’s boyfriend, nothing more, but he’s so much more than that, and his attachment to Kurt, as wonderful as that is, shouldn’t define him. Please, guys, check his music out if you can. Also, just so you know? That American Star article that claimed Kurt was stand-offish, was SO wrong. Both him and Blaine couldn’t be more friendly and kind. I was a fan of Kurt before, but now, having met them both, I wish Kurt and Blaine nothing but good things. They totally deserve it.”

 

There’s more, too, when I look. Comments from various people who had been at the gig, praising my performance and also how laid back and approachable Kurt and I had been. I can’t deny that it makes my heart soar. It feels like I’ve done something right, like maybe together we’ve managed to disprove that article, and make people realize that we’re just regular guys. 

 

“Well?”

 

Quinn reappears and I smile, taking Joshua from her and kissing his cheeks. “I like it.”

 

“We need to get some of your music out on YouTube.”

 

“Oh...No. I don’t think....”

 

“Yes,” she says firmly. “We do. I agree with everything everyone’s saying, Blaine. You’re good, really good. You have no social media presence, no way for people to hear what you’re about other than the lucky few who happen to live in New York. Let me help you.”

 

“I’m not sure.”

 

“Yes, help him,” Kurt declares. He strides into the kitchen, kisses me and Joshua, and then sets about finding coffee. “Two weeks today, Cooper and I will be traveling. Use the time to organize Blaine’s career.”

 

“Done!” Quinn says, laughing at the shocked look on my face. “Now, let’s discuss what you’re going to do for this photoshoot.”

 

The day of the photoshoot sees me up well before five, wandering aimlessly around the house unable to settle to anything. Not even Kurt, dragging me into the shower, can make me feel any better. 

 

I feel his mouth on mine, feel his hands, hot and demanding, and my body responds, but my heart and mind aren’t in it, and when he sinks to his knees, I have to put a stop to it all. 

 

“I just can’t.” 

 

“Okay.” Getting back to his feet once more, Kurt pulls me into his arms and kisses my wet hair. “It’s okay.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I’m too anxious.” 

 

“I get that. It’ll be fine, though, I promise. You’ll be wonderful.”

 

“It’s all changing for me, Kurt. Everything. Some of it’s stupidly amazing, like being with you, and the thought of finding a house together, and then some is...”

 

“Not.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I know. And it’s unsettling.”

 

“Not for you.”

 

“Eh, it has been, and I’m sure it will be again, but you and Maggie? You’re different to Alice, Joshy and I. You’re sensitive souls, and that’s okay. We balance each other out.”

 

Grateful, I hold him close, kiss him tenderly, and then, just when I’m thinking that I might actually be up for some fun after all, a small pair of hands comes tapping on the glass. 

 

“Papa?”

 

“Oh for... How did he get in here?”

 

“I don’t know.” Kurt laughs, and turns off the spray. “Coming, Joshy.”

 

“Bee-bee, papa?”

 

“TV? Not a hope in hell. It’s going to take at least an hour to tame those curls, and then the photographers will be here.”

 

“He can’t understand you.”

 

Kurt sticks his tongue out, wraps himself in a towel, and picks Joshy up. “Silly Blaine.”

 

Joshua says something unintelligible, but he ends it with my name, ‘Bae,’ and then laughs uproariously. 

 

“See?” Kurt teases. “He understood that.” 

 

I change my outfit five times, finally settling on a purple and white plaid shirt, with a navy bow tie. When Quinn opens the door, though, an army of people suddenly descend on the house, and among them is two people carrying a rail of clothes from the brand that Kurt promotes. “Two birds, one stone,” Kurt says when he sees my confusion. “They figured it’d be a good promo opportunity.”

 

“Ugh.” 

 

In the end, I sit on the stairs with Maggie, watching everyone down below, milling about. Kurt seems like the consummate professional, even with Alice on his hip. She wants to touch everything, and mostly, people indulge her. Joshua trails Cooper about, and my brother seems as if he’s been in the job for a lifetime instead of only three weeks. 

 

“Everyone’s enjoying it,” Maggie remarks. 

 

“Almost everyone.”

 

“Not you?”

 

“No. Or you.”

 

“No. Why are we doing it, then?”

 

“Well.” I sigh, and pull her close. “Kurt is very famous.”

 

“I know.” 

 

“And that means people like to know more about him, and his life. Including us. So, we figured that if we did this, and let people...fans... see all of us, then maybe, in return, they’d leave us alone a little bit more.”

 

“So they won’t be mean like the lady in the Target parking lot that time?” 

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Is it very horrible, being famous?”

 

“Hmm, well, I would have said yes. But you know last week, when I was playing?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“That night, I met some of the nicest people. I think... I think most of them are nice, to be honest. They like the work Kurt does, and they admire him. If it wasn’t for them, he’d be out of a job. It’s... it’s just a few that are a bit too intrusive, like they want to know too much, you know?”

 

She nods, and watches as a man begins assembling some lights. “So maybe the photos are like a thank you, to the good fans?” She looks up at me, her blue eyes wide. “Like, thank you for being nice, we made you a picture. I think I like that idea.”

 

“I do too.” And I do. Everything suddenly slides into place. Yes, there are good people out there, who genuinely only want the best for Kurt, and why shouldn’t they be rewarded? “Yes. Let’s do it, then, shall we?”

 

Maggie takes my hand, kisses the back of it, and gets to her feet. “Yes, let’s.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	25. Chapter 25

**Kurt**

 

“Okay, and Blaine? Can you hold Alice on your lap, that’s it. Alice, sweetie, don’t bang on the piano keys, just hold your hands nice and still, make it look like you’re playing. Good. Now, Kurt, if you hold Josh, and then Maggie, you sit on the bench next to Blaine...Perfect.” 

 

And so it goes on. 

 

The photo shoot seems to last an age, mainly because there’s five people to get into position instead of just one, and three of them are small, and they like to move a lot. Still, they seem to enjoy themselves, especially when the photographer gives them bubbles to blow, or toys to play with. 

 

Blaine, however, suffers every long, excruciating moment, in total silence. It’s not easy or natural for him, and he feels desperately uncomfortable when it comes to photos of just him, or just him and the kids. The only time he voices an opinion, though, is when he’s asked to pose alone with Joshua. 

 

“No.”

 

“Sorry?” The photographer glances to Cooper, then back to Blaine. 

 

“I said no. I won’t. People are already speculating.” 

 

“But Josh is your son, isn’t he? Doesn’t matter if that’s biological or not.” 

 

“Joshua,” he snaps. Two high spots of color appear on his cheeks and he bites his lip. “His name is Joshua.”

 

“Right. I mean... It’s just that we’ve done each of you with the girls, and Kurt with..Joshua, so...”

 

“So it’s not needed, then. You have enough.” 

 

I take his hand gently in mine, and turn him away from the photographer so he’s facing me. “You don’t have to.”

 

“Good.” 

 

“But just so you know? It’s never going to matter what anyone thinks; in my mind, he’s your son anyway.” 

 

Blaine nods, blinks, and looks like a puppy. My heart melts. I lean close, kissing him softly. “Shall we do some photos just the two of us? As much as I like holding the small people, I really love holding you.” 

 

“Yeah, okay.” 

 

Slowly, Blaine relaxes. It’s laughable really; we’re positioned on a white fluffy rug that would never be a part of anyone’s soft furnishings if they owned kids, and we’re dressed all in white, too. A far cry from the everyday routine which sees both of us in jeans and the first shirt, sweater or top we come across that isn’t stained. 

 

“I’m totally gonna wear this the next time I make marinara sauce,” I murmur, and Blaine loses it. He snorts, then laughs, then his eyes crinkle up, which makes me laugh too, and the photographer is ecstatic. 

 

“Brilliant, guys! Great stuff!”

 

The happy, big smiles shots are easy. The hardest ones are the more intimate moments, such as when we have to stand in front of the fireplace, almost nose to nose. It’s impossible to do it without laughing, and when we finally get there, Alice loudly declares “You two look very dumb,” and we’re laughing all over again. 

 

We end with one more family shot, and then the photographer risks it one more time. “Blaine? How about it?”

 

“Fine,” he huffs, though secretly I think he’s quite pleased. He stands, and Joshy is put on his shoulders, immediately delighted. He kicks his little legs, and laughs, while Blaine holds onto his hands, and looks up at him. “You okay up there, baby boy?”

 

“Bae!”

 

“Love you, cutie!

 

“Lup Bae!” Joshua cries, then leans down to kiss him. Blaine pulls him from his shoulders, into his arms, and kisses over his belly until he’s a giggling, writhing ball of dark curls, and the results I see on the screen before me, are phenomenal. 

 

“Done?” Blaine asks. 

 

“Yes, thank you,” the photographer declares, and Blaine is immediately back at my side. “Why are you all pink and tearful?”

 

“Nothing. Something in my eye.”

 

“Oh.” He glances over at the screen that still holds the thumbnails. “Oh. Right.”

 

We say no more about it, but when the proofs are sent over two days later, I cry openly over nearly every picture I see, until Quinn kicks me and tells me I need to get over myself. 

 

“They’re so beautiful,” I wail, and Blaine laughs and takes me in his arms. 

 

“Now who’s the sensitive soul?”

 

“I want them all.”

 

“You can, apparently,” Quinn tells us. “Cooper did some deal. But you need to check the ones they want to print. That you’re happy.” 

 

“Blaine?”

 

He looks at me, and it’s like suddenly we’re seeing each other, and our relationship in a different light. It’s hard to say exactly what the change is, but I do know that those photos show a family. Not five separate entities, trying to be together, but a cohesive unit, bonded by something far stronger than blood. 

 

“I love you,” he says softly. His eyes never leave my face. “I love them.”

 

“Kids? Who wants to go to the park?” Cooper booms, and though we’re vaguely aware that everyone leaves the house at speed, it’s as if it were all a daydream until that door closes. 

 

Blaine scoops me up into his arms and carries me, not to bed as I had assumed, but to the den, kicking the door closed behind us, and lowering me onto the couch. We rarely use the den; it’s on the other side of the office and has no window, meaning nobody really likes spending much time in there, but suddenly it’s become my new favorite place. 

 

“We don’t have anything in here,” I say as Blaine hastily unbuttons my shirt. 

 

“Wanna bet?” Rummaging under a cushion, he presses lube into my hand and then tugs on my earlobe with his teeth. “I’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this.”

 

“What if the kids find that?”

 

“They won’t. They’re never in here. Maggie says it smells of boy.” 

 

That makes me laugh, but I soon shut up when my pants are swiftly pulled from my hips and Blaine nuzzles his face into my crotch. “Is this going where I think it’s going? Because, yes.”

 

“I hope so.” He kneels between my legs and looks up at me. “You’re so incredibly beautiful, Kurt. I don’t think you can possibly realize how much I love you, how much your presence in my life means to me.” 

 

I reach out, cupping his cheek. “I know that you make me complete,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I know that life feels like everything it should do, with you at my side. I also know that I really like blowjobs from you, so...y’know.” 

 

He shuts me up in the best way possible; by taking me to the back of his throat, breathing deeply around me. He keeps going, even as he takes his own clothes off, and I...well, I just lie back and enjoy every second. Blaine is now a far cry from the tentative, nervous lover who first grinded against me in his jeans. 

 

He is hot, dark, exciting, and what I love most of all, is that anyone else would never think he could be that way. He hooks my legs over his shoulders, brings me closer, and then, the one thing I was not expecting, happens. Blaine’s hand is slick, his fingers pressing against my entrance while his tongue works magic over my cock. 

 

It’s been so long, that I’d almost forgotten this was something I enjoyed, but when Blaine slides a finger inside, I nearly skyrocket off the couch. “Yes!” I cry loudly, grateful for the empty house. “Oh God, Blaine, yes. Just like that.” 

 

He keeps going, and it feels so good that I know I need to stop him or it’ll all be over. Blaine rides me hard, another thing he’s proving to be very good at indeed, and then I feel his hand again, back between my legs, his fingers sliding inside. I move forward, so I’m almost hanging off the couch with my feet firmly planted on the floor, and I yell. 

 

“Oh shit, Blaine, you’re breaking me.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Not good! Yes, good. Yes. No. Oh...just don’t stop.” 

 

And he doesn’t, not even when I come so hard that I see stars behind my eyes; Blaine keeps riding me, pulls his hand free, and finishes himself off with a satisfied shout of my name. I slide to the floor, bringing him with me, and there we stay, panting hard, sweaty, tired, and blissful. 

 

“Yeah, I thought the photos were quite good,” Blaine says, and then we both burst out laughing. 

 

“They are. I didn’t even read the interview, did you?”

 

“No. Did Quinn approve it?”

 

“Who knows? I assume so. I had a more pressing need to attend to. An itch to scratch.”

 

“And is it now sated?”

 

I pull him into a long, drawn-out kiss. “Very much so.” 

 

We stay that way for so long, that we’ve barely made it upstairs to the shower when Cooper, Quinn, and the kids return. 

 

“KURTIE?”

 

“I’m just taking a shower, Alice!”

 

“Oh. Can I come in?”

 

“No!”

 

“Where’s Bane?”

 

“He’s uh...he’s here with me.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

“Huh,” I say when she doesn’t answer back. “Silence.” 

 

“Cooper probably gave her candy.”

 

“True.”

 

He didn’t. He and Quinn decided to sit in the kitchen, eating pretzels and drinking tea, while Alice changes herself into her bathing suit, takes all of Joshua’s clothes off for him, and then, while Maggie is quietly drawing, they arrive in the shower. 

 

“Hello.” 

 

“Oh for... And what’s with the suit? You don’t wear one in the bath.”

 

“Shower’s different,” she declares. “Guess what? At the park, I did hear Cooper tell Quinn you’d be dead when we got back, Kurtie, but you’re not dead. And when I asked Quinn, she telled me not to tell Maggie, so I didn’t.” 

 

“Oh.” I don’t know how to answer and I look to Blaine, helpless. 

 

“You know, Alice, sometimes adults say things that they don’t really mean.” He lifts Joshua into his arms and holds him so he can splash under the spray. “Like how Burt always says he could eat a horse. Do you think he could really eat a whole horse?”

 

She giggles and looks up at him, delighted. “No!”

 

“And not-grandma told you you were so delicious she could eat you, but I don’t think she would actually want to eat you, do you?”

 

“Of course not! Don’t be silly, Bane.”

 

“So you see, Cooper just meant that Kurt would be tired, because he’s been working so hard, that’s all.”

 

“Oh.” She smiles. “I get it now.” But she still moves closer to me, wrapping her arms about my leg and pressing her face into my thigh. “Kurtie’s not dead.”

 

“Were you worried, sweetie?” I ask, smoothing her hair. 

 

“No. A little bit, I was, but then I just singed Meatloaf in my head, like this.” She hums loudly. “And Quinn said ‘That’s nice silent singing, Alice,’ and it was.” Triumphant, she grins, and holds her arms up. I scoop her up, kiss her cheeks, and then flick water on her face. She’s a special breed. 

 

She raises the incident with Carole, though, and poor Cooper is mortified by his mistake. We try to reassure him, but for the first time ever, I see his likeness to Blaine; he is so full of remorse that he nearly cries when he talks to Alice about it all. 

 

“I do love you, baby girl,” he tells her, burying his face into her hair. “And I never meant to say anything so dumb. That’s what I am; silly and dumb.” 

 

Alice just laughs, squeezes his cheeks, and kisses the tip of his nose. “I love you too, baby Cooper. Did you know that not-grandma wants to eat me but she wouldn’t really?” 

 

“Both the girls are doing so well,” Carole tells us in the kitchen. “And Maggie is so excited to start Kindergarten.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

She frowns. “Do you disagree, Kurt?”

 

“No,” Blaine replies for me. “It’s just that he’s getting all worked up about it, that’s all. She’s growing up.” 

 

“She is,” Carole agrees, smiling. She lays a hand on my arm. “And it’s only natural for you to feel a mix of pride and upset over it all. I can remember the first day I left Finn, and he seemed so small. He was actually a giant.” She laughs, then looks wistful for a moment. “Anyway. I’m sure it will be a memorable occasion and pretty soon you’ll all be into the routine and you’ll wonder what you ever got so worried about.” 

 

“Maybe she shouldn’t start,” I try, seeing a glimmer of light. “If we’re going to be moving anyway. I mean, it’s unfair to settle her, let her find new friends, and then uproot her, surely?”

 

“Kurt.” Blaine sighs, and sits me down at the table. “We said we’d look at moving after the show’s had it's premiere. Realistically, it’s going to be October before we even think about it, possibly December by the time we actually move. Besides, Maggie has friends from pre-K with her, and she’ll enjoy spending time with them.”

 

“I agree,” Carole chimes in. “Going back with her friends will help restore normality, help her to feel secure.” 

 

“Right before we make her feel insecure again?”

 

She laughs. “Oh Kurt, she’s never going to feel that way with you two as her parents, trust me. That little girl is going to be just fine.” 

 

But I don’t feel fine, when the day comes for Maggie to be sent to elementary school. I feel sick with nerves, and the timing couldn’t have been worse. The first day of school coincides with the magazine release date, and just four days later I am due to fly out of town. When I return, Firestone has its premiere. Right now, I can’t see the wood for the trees, and in the middle of it all, is a little five year old about to start her educational journey when life has already put her through so much. 

 

Still adamant that he needs to make amends with Alice, Cooper arrives early to take her to pre-K. She is beside herself with joy about it all, especially since Cooper has promised they’ll stop for a muffin on the way. He loads Joshua into the stroller, and off they go; Alice so excited that she barely remembers to kiss us both goodbye. 

 

“Oh, Cooper’s gonna regret that,” Blaine says with a laugh. “She’ll talk to him non-stop, and he’s not a morning person.” 

 

I smile weakly. 

 

“Come on, Kurt.” Taking me into his arms, he kisses my cheek and hugs me close. Blaine always gives the best hugs. “I know how you feel, because I feel the same. But we can do this, okay? We have to be all smiles for Maggie, because the last thing we want is for her to worry.”

 

“I know. Yes.” I sniffle and nuzzle close into his neck. “I think I’m gonna make her hair real pretty,” I decide. 

 

“I think that would be a really nice thing to do.” 

 

Maggie always sits patiently to have her hair done, whereas Alice can go days without seeing a brush because no one wants to fight her. By the time Quinn arrives, Maggie is wearing a pretty yellow tunic with white leggings, and her hair hangs in perfect plaits. 

 

“Oh look at you,” Quinn coos in a most unlikely manner for her. “You’re so adorable. And you know what else? Look at these pictures, sweetie pie; look how beautiful you and your brother and sister are.” 

 

The photoshoot and accompanying interview have turned out well; so well in fact that Blaine and I are able to laugh about the fakeness of it all. We look like the Waltons. “This is exactly how things always are around here,” Blaine tells Quinn, and she rolls her eyes. 

 

“Sure. Well, anyway, I know you didn’t enjoy it, Blaine, but the results are amazing, and it’ll do you both a big favor. I’ll bet you people will ask you to sign copies at your gig on Saturday.”

 

“You have a gig?”

 

Blaine glances at me, clearly uncomfortable. “Yeah. Anyway. Let’s get Maggie to school.” 

 

We walk with her between us, holding our hands. She is happy, and bright, and chats away about all sorts of things, until we arrive at the school and then she moves closer, letting go of Blaine’s hand so she can suck her thumb. 

 

“You okay?”

 

She nods, once again just accepting her fate as she always used to do when she first arrived with me. I crouch down, kissing the back of her little hand. “You know what, Maggie? I didn’t always like school, and there will be times when you don’t, either. But Kindergarten is so much fun.You’ll get to play, and learn stuff, oh, and hey, remember when you met your teacher? You told her you play the piano, right? Well, you can tell her you’re even better now.”

 

“Did You like Kindergarten?”

 

“I did, actually, yeah.” I smile at the distant memory of my mom waving goodbye to me. “Yeah. A lot.” 

 

“Then I will try,” she decides. Full of a determination that I didn’t know she could possess, she marches forward to where her teacher waits. 

 

We’re talked about, of course, but no one approaches us, and I’m glad. I think if I had to pose for a selfie today, I might very quickly undo all the good work the interview had done. Maggie’s teacher is sweet, and gently prises her free from us, after multiple kisses and cuddles. She doesn’t cry, but she sighs so heavily that I find myself welling up all over again. 

 

“She just accepts,” I mutter to Blaine as she goes inside. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“I hate that. I wish she’d wail and scream.” 

 

“Like you would?”

 

I smile. “Exactly. Ugh.” 

 

Blaine slides his arm around my waist and I’m grateful. We walk from the school slowly, appreciating the warmth of the sun. “You gotta get to set?”

 

I look at my watch. “Yeah.” It is my turn to sigh. “Actually, you know what? Let’s go get coffee first. We never get any time alone.”

 

“We do, it’s just that we’re usually naked.”

 

“True.”

 

“But coffee sounds good.” 

 

We sit side by side at a small table on the sidewalk in the sun. It’s a perfect morning in Brooklyn, and I find myself relaxing, after Blaine has reassured me at least ten times that the school will call if we’re needed. 

 

“Are you all set for your trip?” Blaine asks. 

 

“Hmm. I guess.”

 

“What is it you’re doing? Reshoots?” 

 

“Something like that.”

 

“I can’t believe the premiere is so close, can you? Are you excited?”

 

“I am, actually, yeah. I’m really proud of this. I mean, I don’t know what I’ll do when it’s done, really. Annoy you with my constant presence, I guess.”

 

“You’ll be busy.”

 

“Will I, though? If season 2 does get greenlit then production will begin in January. That’s a long time to be doing nothing.”

 

“You’ll be busy, I told you.”

 

“Doing what?”

 

Blaine smiles, and bites his lip. “I’m writing a musical.”

 

“You’re what?” 

 

“Writing a musical.”

 

“And how does that make me busy?”

 

“Because I’ve written it for you. The central character has a countertenor voice, and I wrote him based on you.”

 

“Blaine! I... I mean...”

 

“Early stages,” he warns. “But I’d love to get your input sometime, when you have more time on your hands.”

 

“Yes!” I cry, clapping my hands together. “Yes, definitely.”   
  
“Good.” He grins, nudging my ankle with his foot. “You’re quite the inspiration, Kurt Hummel.”

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I smile back, letting the moment stretch between us. “Oh, hey, why didn’t you tell me you had a gig this weekend?” 

 

“Because you’d get upset. I doubt anyone will go. Or they won’t stay, I guess, if you’re not there. Polly’s sitting. Quinn’s coming to watch.”

 

“That’s good. She’ll have a strategy by the end of the night.” 

 

“Of course.”

 

I sigh, leaning my head onto his shoulder. “I don’t wanna go, now. I wanna stay home with you all day every day and write musicals and sing songs and never have to go anywhere ever.” 

 

“Yeah, but we’d be poor, and we’d argue, and then everything would go horribly wrong.” 

 

“Oh I don’t know,” I say, squeezing his hand. “I think I could easily spend a lifetime by your side. Especially with our gorgeous kids, too.” 

 

“You think she’s okay?”

 

“Blaine Anderson, you’re worrying! This is my worry day, not yours.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” He laughs. “Kurt, I slept about three hours last night, panicking about every kind of scenario there is. I might be putting on a happy, smiling exterior, but I can tell you, I’m terrified. Counting down the hours until she’s here again.” 

 

But as it turns out, neither of us should have worried so much. Maggie loves school so much that she cries when it’s time to come home. She then spends all afternoon playing schools, and asking how long it is until she can go back. This goes on day after day, and then, on Friday, once she’s safely inside school, Cooper and I board a plane to San Francisco. 

  
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Blaine**

 

“The place is sold out,” Santana informs me. She squeezes into the tiny room backstage at the bar, and kisses my cheek. “Hello, by the way.”

 

“Hi. And yeah. It was when we came last time, but I had Kurt with me then.”

 

“So?”

 

“So no one will really stay once they realize he’s not here. I’m going to announce it, I think. I don’t want people to feel embarrassed?”

 

“Excuse me? If they’ve only come to see him, then they should feel embarrassed. You don’t need to announce anything. That Quinn girl is out there now, handing out leaflets about your YouTube channel.”

 

“Ugh.”

 

“Oh shut up. You’ve dreamed of making it as a musician, and now you don’t want to?”

 

“No, I do. I just...”

 

“You just nothing. You’re good, Blaine, and you need to be heard.” 

 

To my surprise, that night, people do stay. Well, Santana counts five people leaving when I casually throw in that Kurt is in Vancouver, but the rest remain, and I’m pleased. The YouTube channel that Quinn has railroaded me into starting, holds five different videos of me at home, singing three originals and two covers. When I get home that night, it’s had over five thousand hits. When I wake up the next day, it’s fifty thousand. 

 

“What the hell is going on?” I ask Kurt when he calls. “Who’s doing this? Is it you and Cooper? Are you just sitting there, clicking all the time?” 

 

“No!” He laughs. “Blaine, people like your music. They like you. People know who you are now, as well. Word will spread.” 

 

“It worries me.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Just because you like to worry? Look, Blaine, enjoy it. You’ve worked for this, you deserve it. Your music needs to be heard.” 

 

“I’ll try. Anyway, how’s it going for you?”

 

“Okay. I miss you and the kids though.”

 

“We miss you too. What are you shooting today?”

 

“Uh...nothing today. I think we might go for brunch.”

 

“Nice.”

 

“Yeah. What are your plans?”

 

“To paint over the wall where Alice decided to see how pretty pink highlighters could look.”

 

“What?”

 

“Exactly. And then we’re going up to visit mom and dad.”

 

Kurt sighs. “Aww, now I’m sad. Give them my love.”

 

“I will do. You know what? There’s a few houses for sale in the town. I could....”   
  
“Blaine.”

 

“Sorry. I know.”

 

“We haven’t even discussed a where, yet. Or a when. Not really.”

 

“No. I just... I mean, I’d like to be near to my mom and dad.”

 

“And I’d like to be near to my dad.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“So what do we do?”

 

“We compromise.”

 

Kurt laughs. “Ohio it is, then.” 

 

“Very funny. Look, I have three little ones here, waiting to talk. You wanna say hi?”

 

I miss Kurt when he’s away, but I don’t begrudge him his work, I also don’t begrudge him for having a day off, and spending it with my brother. We have a nice day ourselves, even if we do have to leave mom and dad’s early because the next day is a school day. 

 

What I do begrudge, though, is waking up Monday morning and seeing pictures online of the two of them out to brunch in San Francisco. 

 

Not Vancouver.

 

Naturally, the internet is abuzz with talk of who the man could possibly be; despite the fact that the pictures are merely of Cooper and Kurt walking down the street together, talking, and then leaving the restaurant. But that’s not the point, as I tell Kurt when I wake him up. 

 

“You lied to me!”

 

“Listen, Blaine, there’s nothing going on. Did you really think that we’d...”

 

“Ew! No! I’m not a total idiot, Kurt, and don’t even try that. You know what I’m talking about.”

 

“You know what the internet’s like. All speculation.”

 

“Oh, so you’re not in San Francisco?”

 

“Uh....”

 

“Kurt!”

 

“I didn’t lie,” he says quickly. “I just didn’t tell you.” 

 

“Same damn thing, Kurt. You know I thought you were in Vancouver. What if I’d decided we’d surprise you?”

 

“I guess I didn’t think of that.”

 

“You should’ve said you wouldn’t go there.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“To San Francisco.” 

 

“Blaine...”

 

“No, Kurt. It’s where the kids’ biological family are, and I don’t want them getting ahold of you.”

 

“Blaine, everything is okay.”

 

“No it’s not!” I yell loudly. I take a moment, then speak again, quietly. “I’m really scared.” 

 

“You don’t need to be, Blaine, I promise.”

 

“I’m hurt, too. You gonna tell me I don’t need to feel that way, either? You and Cooper both deliberately mislead me. My boyfriend, my brother, my two best friends.”

 

“Aw, shit, Blaine. I’m sorry. I just...”

 

“When are you home?” 

 

“Thursday.” 

 

“Right.” 

 

“Blaine?”

 

I end the call. 

 

I relay it all to Sam and Santana over lunch that day, while Joshua tries to eat Santana’s hair and Alice listens to music on Sam’s phone. 

 

“And I would do anything for LOVE,” she bellows, and I put my finger to her lips. 

 

“A bit loud, sweetie.” 

 

“WHAT?”

 

“BIT LOUD.” 

 

“OH. SORRY, BANE!” 

 

She takes up humming, instead, only she’s still just as loud, and Sam laughs. “I only put that on there for her.” 

 

“I don’t know whether she sings Meatloaf as a form of therapy, or just to piss me off.”

 

“Don’t curse, Bane!”

 

“Sorry, Alice.”

 

“Bit of both, probably.” Sam smiles, and pulls her into his lap. “So, what you gonna do?”

 

“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess, but don’t you think it’s low?”

 

“I think it’s... yeah. Low, dude. Sorry. Worse, given that it’s him and Cooper.” 

 

“Right?”

 

“Men.” Santana rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her wine. “Blaine, yes, Kurt and Cooper not telling you is pretty off, but did you ever stop and think what you’d have done if they had told you?”

 

“I’d have told him he couldn’t go.”

 

“Mmm-hmm, and we all know how well that would have gone over. You don’t tell Kurt Hummel that he can’t do something, and anyway, it’s his job. He has no choice.”

 

“But why San Francisco? It makes no sense. They filmed here, and Vancouver. California has never been mentioned.”

 

“I don’t know, but it is what it is. I get you’re worried about someone tracking him down, but maybe he is too, and that’s why he’s taken Cooper and not Quinn.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

“Exactly. And maybe neither of them mentioned it, because Kurt didn’t want a huge argument before he left. No one likes to part on bad terms.” 

 

“But we’re on bad terms now, and he’s not home for another three days.”

 

“Big wow. You’ll make it up. This isn’t a ‘holy shit we’re done’ type of disagreement, it’s a ‘you were an ass don’t do it again,’ one.”

 

“Don’t curse, Tana,” Alice bellows. 

 

“Sorry, cupcake. Call him, Blaine, tell him he’s an idiot but you love him.”

 

“LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL....”

 

Santana laughs. “Yeah, Alice, like a bat out of hell.” 

 

So I do, only when I repeat the line “You’re an idiot but I love you,” Kurt bursts into tears. 

 

“Oh my God, what did I say?”

 

“Nothing,” he sniffs. “Really, nothing. And I appreciate you calling. It’s just been a day, that’s all. You wanna talk to Cooper?”

 

“Not really, no, I want to know why you’re crying.”

 

“I just... Nothing.”

 

“Don’t do that, Kurt. We tell each other stuff.”

 

“I know, I know.”

 

“Did someone find you?”

 

“No. I’ve just had a really long day, that’s all, and I’m tired and emotional. I miss you, and I miss dad.”

 

“Is Cooper looking after you?”

 

“Of course!” He takes a deep breath. “Tell me what you did today.” 

 

“Took Maggie to school, went out to lunch with Sam and Santana.”

 

“Oh, good. Was that nice?”

 

“Yeah. Sam’s put loads of Meatloaf songs on his phone for Alice, which is kinda cute. Someone congratulated Santana and I on being parents of such a beautiful child.” 

 

“Ha! What did you say?”

 

“I started to explain, and then Santana kicked me and said yes, we’re a very proud mommy and daddy.” 

 

“Brilliant.” 

 

I don’t tell Kurt that I didn’t find it funny, even though I know it was meant that way. Santana’s joking response hurt; another stark reminder that our kids don’t truly belong. “Kurt, why were you crying?” 

 

“I miss you. The kids. I want to be home.” 

 

“Soon.”

 

“I know.” He sighs again, and I can envision him pinching the bridge of his nose as he does when he’s upset. “Yeah, I know.” 

 

I know there’s stuff he’s not telling me, but really, what choice do I have but to let it slide? I don’t want to push him away, and when I call Cooper, he is entirely oblivious and tells me him and Kurt are having a ball. 

 

And so I wait for seventy two long hours to pass, until Kurt is back in my arms again. He cries once more, but this time it’s with happiness, and he practically runs up the stairs to kiss the kids, who are all sound asleep. 

 

“Maggie’s been waiting,” I whisper, and sure enough she rouses slightly, her little hands coming up around Kurt’s neck to pull him close. 

 

“Want kisses, papa,” she murmurs, and Kurt cries all over again. 

 

“You should just let her call you that,” I say quietly, but I don’t think Kurt hears. 

 

By the time we get to Joshua, Kurt is such a wreck that I pull him from the room and into my arms, holding him close until his sobs have subsided enough for us to talk. 

 

“Out with it, then.” 

 

He kisses me slowly, trying to turn it into something more. 

 

“Sex is not a weapon.” 

 

He smiles. “It should be.” 

 

“Talk.” 

 

We head into the bedroom, and as much as Kurt tries to distract, I persist, until eventually he sits opposite me on the bed, and takes my hands in his. “Our future is very unstable, isn’t it?”

 

“Is it? I thought... Oh. I mean, I thought this was it. You know?”

 

“Oh, God, yes, Blaine,  _ yes.”  _ He quickly hugs me and kisses my lips. “Totally this is it. I just...” He takes a deep breath, finding his words. “You know how you had to ask for my patience, when you figured out how you felt about us?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“I’m asking the same, right now, I think. I need you to be patient.”

 

“Okay.” Trying to swallow down the fear, I nod. “Sure. But this is...”

 

“This is not to do with us being endgame, at all. We are. We  _ so _ are.” 

 

“Good.” I offer a weak smile, and it seems to be enough for Kurt. He moves in, pushing me back against the pillows. 

 

I don’t know how I manage to block the terrifying thoughts from my mind, but I do it, and we make love; just as incredible and tender as it always is. After, Kurt is asleep in minutes, but I prowl around an empty house. 

 

I want to call Cooper, but since he went on the trip with Kurt, I think he already knows far more than I am party to, and I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to betray any confidence. I could call my parents, of course, though daddy would probably have heart failure to hear the phone at two in the morning. In the end, I call the one person I know can help, and the one man I can trust. 

 

“Burt?”

 

“Hey sunshine.” He yawns. “It’s late. Something the matter?”

 

“Kurt’s not telling me something, and I don’t know what to do.” 

 

Burt talks me down from my ledge; of course he does. He also tells me he’s flying out the next day whether I want him to or not, and he absolutely will not hear of me paying. By the time I get to bed, it’s nearly four, but I do manage to sleep, at least. 

 

Kurt wakes me with kisses, and I smile, happy to see him so content. “I love you,” I sigh. “I love seeing you smile.” 

 

“Look to your feet.” 

 

“Huh?” I do as he asks, and there, holding a tray, is Maggie, Alice, and Joshua. 

 

“We all maked you breakfast,” Maggie says proudly. “Because Kurt said you work so hard when he’s not here. And he came back.”

 

“Yeah he did.” I smile, sitting up and accepting the tray onto my legs. “And thank you, all of you. This is wonderful.” 

 

Kurt sits next to me, pulling all three kids onto the bed. They’re all over him, and he gladly accepts their affection; making them giggle by kissing tummies and tickling toes. I watch it all with a massive smile on my face, but still unable to shake the growing unease I feel over Kurt’s request for my patience. 

 

Kurt takes Maggie to school by himself that day, and he also takes Alice to pre-K and Joshua to his baby music class. He insists I stay home and take it easy, having worked so hard while he’s been gone. Despite my protests, he’s adamant that I need time alone, when all I really crave, is time with him. By the time he and Joshua return, there’s only an hour free until Burt arrives, so I turn Kurt right around and march him back out of the door to take a walk. 

 

“Can’t I just sit down for five minutes?”

 

“Nah, come on, the sun’s shining. Let’s go.”

 

Being with Kurt is always wonderful, and just the two of us and Joshua is a rarity. Without two other kids to keep an eye on, we can let him out of the stroller and he toddles along, holding our hands. I feel the worry leaving me; Kurt is happy and relaxed, and whatever made him so emotional last night, certainly isn’t worrying him today, so that surely means I shouldn’t worry, either. 

 

“I know there’s some stuff you don’t want to talk about, but that aside, did everything go okay in San Fran?”

 

“Yeah.” We wait patiently while Joshua picks handfuls of grass. “Yeah it did. Grass,” he says, smiling at Joshy. “Can you say that?”

 

“Ass.” 

 

“Oh.” He laughs. “Maybe not.”

 

“Did you get all the scenes done that you needed to?”

 

“Kinda. Anyway, let’s talk about you, mister viral YouTube sensation.”

 

“I am not!” I feel heat in my cheeks even though it’s only Kurt, and he’s still laughing about it when we sit down on a bench with two coffees. 

 

“You have to hand it to Quinn, she’s good with her strategies.”

 

“Hmm. She wants me to record an album.”

 

“So do I.”

 

“You do?”

 

He frowns. “Yeah, of course. When we first met, you took the piano teaching job to fund studio time, as I recall.” 

 

“I did.”

 

“So why don’t you? It could be what you want it to be; a passion project. Covers, new stuff, old stuff... I’d love to hear it, of course, but you have nearly half a million subscribers who would as well.” 

 

“I get that, and I like the idea, but actually, I’ve been thinking, and I’m going to wait a while. I’ll still keep posting on the YouTube channel, and playing gigs, but I’m gonna wait on recording anything.”

 

“How come?” 

 

“Well....” I pull Joshua up into my lap, handing him one of his gross baby cookies that he seems to like so much. “These guys, essentially. You’re right, Kurt. Our future isn’t stable.”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“What did  _ you  _ mean by that?” 

 

He narrows his eyes. “Patience.”

 

“Okay. All I mean, is that we’ve been rolling along at top speed, and I just want to take time to settle, you know? You’ve got your premiere, and you’ve got all this press stuff lined up, and after that we want to move. I want to give all of that a chance to happen. I can revisit the album after that. These next six months or so are family time. Nothing more.”

 

Kurt beams as he snuggles close and rests his head onto my shoulder. He’s so happy that he doesn’t even reprimand Joshua for smearing cookie over his pale blue jacket. “Family time. Yes. And on that note...”

 

“Oh no.” 

 

“Hey!” He nudges me and laughs. “Please listen to this, because this is the most magnanimous thing I’ll ever say. I think we should move near to your parents.”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard.”

 

“Not Ohio?”

 

“No. And gosh, that pains me to say, because I’d give anything to have dad close by. The thing is, gigs are better for you in New York, and work is easier for me. If we lived an hour away, that means we could come in and out. If we live in Ohio, that means flying in and staying each time, and that could be a lot. I don’t want that, Blaine. I want to kiss our children goodnight, I want us around the dinner table together. I want to do laundry, to do the grocery shopping, to attend all their little school things. I think it’s important and good to have a support network around us, but we’re lucky enough to have three parents who can all provide that. I also think we should keep this house as a base if we do need to stay over, and I’d like to ask Cooper to move in. It would help both of us, I think, and if we do all stay over, the kids adore him, so it’s not going to be an issue.”

 

I sit there, my mind whirling, only really coming back to it when the cookie is pushed up my nose. “Thanks, Joshy. Kurt, are you sure?”

 

“I want us stable,” he says, his bright blue eyes shining with tears. “I want to make a proper family life together, with you. I made my choice to move here, I wanted to base myself in this city, and I love it. I think that this way, we still get to enjoy it, even if we don’t live in the heart of it.”

 

“Yes.” I take his hand and squeeze it. “I think you’re pretty amazing, you know that? And I think all your ideas are great. And I agree about keeping the house, if we can afford to do that.”

 

“Uh...yes. We can.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Just promise me we’ll find a place that’s got a nice guest room for dad?”

 

Putting my arm about his shoulders, I hold him close, hopefully delivering the comfort he is craving. “Definitely. I love you, Kurt.”

 

“Love you too.” 

 

“Uff papa!”

 

“And I love you, Joshy.” Kurt smiles, tries to kiss him, and then thinks better of it. “And I’ll love you more when you’re all cleaned up.” 

  
  



	27. Chapter 27

Kurt

We are so happy, the three of us, sitting there on the bench, surveying the park, that I find all my stresses just melting away. Telling Blaine we should move upstate was a huge step for me, but as soon as I voiced it, I knew it was the right decision. 

I sigh contentedly, but then Blaine looks at his watch and quickly gets to his feet. “We have to go.”

“What? Why? Alice doesn’t finish until one.” 

“I know, but I wanted to get that laundry done.”

“You’re insane,” I grumble, but I get to my feet anyway, setting Joshua on the floor.

“He’ll have to go in the stroller. Or you carry him.” 

“Up,” Joshua cries, his decision made. 

Which is fine, but he’s getting heavy to carry the four blocks home, and he’s tired, too. I’m just about to have a moan about it, when the front door is pulled open from the inside, but not by Cooper. 

“Dad!”

“‘Bout time, boys. Thought you’d be waitin’ here.” 

“Time ran away with us,” Blaine says, and then it all falls into place. 

“You knew!” I cry as I fall into my dad’s arms, and Blaine laughs. 

“Yeah I knew.” 

“Up!”

Dad scoops Joshua up, kisses him at least ten times, until he’s giggling like crazy, and then he ruffles Blaine’s hair and kisses his forehead. It’s a good job he has an affectionate father of his own, or he’d wonder what the hell was going on. 

“All my boys together,” dad says happily. Taking complete control, he leads us through to the kitchen where Cooper sits, typing. “Well, now all my boys are together.” 

“Thanks, papa Burt.” 

“Any time, sunshine.” He ruffles Cooper’s hair and, with Joshua expertly balanced on his hip, he makes coffee for all of us. I watch it all, so damn delighted that I almost forget to thank Blaine until he moves his hand next to me and I become aware of his presence. 

“You arranged this?”

“We spoke.” He shrugs and smiles. “You said you were missing him, so...”

“I wanna talk to you two, anyway,” dad booms, setting all the mugs down. “Is this monster tired out yet? He need a nap?”

“He does, actually,” I say, but Cooper is quickly on his feet, coming to the rescue and taking him upstairs. “What is it, dad? You’re not sick, are you? Please don’t be sick.”

“Sick? Who’s sick? Not me, kiddo. Nah. But I am getting older.”

“You’re fifty five.”

“Exactly, and I’ve been wondering what I want outta life, you know?”

I glance at Blaine, who looks confused, but right now I’d bet a million bucks that he knows exactly what’s to come, and I don’t like it one bit. Neither can I object, of course, because I confide in Cooper. 

“Uh, no, dad, I don’t. Not really, You run the garage, play cards with your buddies, and drink beer. Then we come to visit and shatter your peace.”

“Yeah, and I love all of that, but I miss ya, kid.”

I drop my head into my hands and try to hide the impending doom. 

“Blaine tells me you’re thinking of moving, like I suggested.” 

“Dad... Yes, we are, but...”

“So I was thinking, the logical choice is for you to move out to that fancy town by Blaine’s parents, right? West whatever it is.”

“Dad...”

“And I thought, you know what? I didn’t spend all my life working like this to not enjoy it. House is all paid for, you’re through college. I got three grandkids now, and I wanna see them grow up. So... I don’t know how you’d feel about it, Kurt, but Blaine and I were talking, and I’d like to sell, and move here. Well, not here specifically. More like, wherever you move to. So I’m close by, and you can come feed me pureed carrots when I’m really old.” 

My mouth hangs open, my eyes are wide, and words fail me. 

“Kurt? What you gapin’ at me for?”

“You want to move here?”

“Yeah.” 

“You’d do that for me?”

“For all of you, and me, but yeah. Yeah I would.” 

I don’t even bother going around the table; I slide over it, and into my dad’s arms, hugging him harder than I can ever remember doing. “YES!” 

He catches me, laughing, and there I stay, lying across the table with my arms tight about his neck. “This is all my dreams coming true.”

“Thanks, Kurt.” 

I sit up then, and turn to Blaine, who’s smiling. “You know what I mean. You...us...the kids, moving into our dream home, dad nearby, your parents too, Cooper here... I mean it, Blaine. This is what I dreamed of as a kid, and I never thought I’d have it.”

“Really?” He reaches out, cupping my cheek. “Why did you think it wouldn’t happen? Do you know how endearingly loveable you are?”

“Um...well, no. I mean, I make jokes about it, but really I think I’m pretty difficult. But also, growing up... gay people couldn’t have all this, you know? It didn’t seem that way, anyway. I never knew anyone who was gay apart from this shady guy who used to hang about outside of school. And everyone knew to stay away from him. I don’t know. It was just something I knew not to hope for. Marriage wasn’t legal, and you wouldn’t dream of having kids together. I just assumed that it was all for straight people. But that didn’t stop me wanting it. So bad.” 

“Kurt, I... I don’t know what to say.” Blaine gets to his feet and smothers me as he holds me tight against his chest. “I’m just glad that you get to have your dreams come true, I guess, because you deserve it more than anyone else I know. Wow. I think I realize though, that we grew up with different outlooks on life. I knew all of that was available to me, I just didn’t want any of it, until I met you.”

“Bet you didn’t think you’d end up with a guy though, did you?” dad booms, then he laughs uproariously. “Man, when’s your high school reunion? Can I come? I want to see everyone’s faces.” 

Blaine laughs. “No you can’t. But you can bet I’ll be taking Kurt and showing him off.”

It’s a blissful day spent with my favorite people; the three of us walk to meet Alice from pre-K, and she alerts the whole of the surrounding area to my dad’s presence. That afternoon, I have to do a press conference, but time flies with Cooper and Quinn, and when we get back to the house, my dad and Blaine have cooked dinner. I convince Quinn, Polly and Cooper to stay, and when I get a moment, I corner Polly in the playroom. 

“So I think I need to tell you something.” 

“You’re moving, I know.”

“Oh.” 

She smiles, and holds out her arms. I like hugs from Polly, they’re soft and motherly, and right now, that moves me to tears. “Kurt, listen to me. You don’t have to worry about me at all. I’ll miss you terribly, of course I will, but truth be told, I was thinking of retiring anyway. Then your case arrived and I just sensed you’d be needing some help. I am so glad I got to do that, to see you stand on your own two feet and become the best parent you can be. I’m glad I got to see the kids come to love you, and so, so happy that I got to see Blaine arrive, and the relationship between the pair of you blossom. I see you now as a proper family, and that is such a wonderful thing.”

“Don’t disappear just yet, though, will you? We won’t be going for a while, and even when we do, please stay in touch.” 

“Of course! And since I’m going to retire, I’ll have plenty of time to visit, and if you’re in the city, then I’m more than happy to sit if needed. Hey, Kurt, remember when the kids first arrived, and you never spent any time with them? You had me, and agency nannies on a twenty four hour basis. Look at you now.” 

“Huh.” I think about it. “Yeah. Yeah, wow. I mean... Yeah.” 

She hugs me tight again. “By the way, Kurt, just so you know? Cooper, Quinn and I talk all the time.” 

I laugh, and kiss her cheek. “Good. I’m glad.” 

I’m relieved to have gotten everything off my chest, and the rest of the evening is relaxed and fun. I’m still too wired to sleep, though, and while Blaine takes his shower that night, I sit with the laptop, searching for houses. 

“How about this one?” I call as soon as the water stops. “Seven bedrooms, four baths, separate garage.”

“Kurt, my darling, let’s get through the next few weeks first, and then we’ll start looking.”

“Okay. Oh! Listen. Nine rooms, four and a half baths, summer house, tennis court, pool. Tennis court!”

“Do you play tennis?”

“Nope.”

He appears in the doorway, a towel around his waist, hair glistening wet. “Well that’ll be really useful then. Stop looking, I told you.”

“Okay. Oh!”

“Kurt!”

“I could look for dad?”

“Kurt, I expect he’ll ask for your input when he’s good and ready. He’s going to meet mom and dad tomorrow, anyway. Dad will take him out and about, show him around.”

“I want to do that!”

“You can go.” 

“I can’t. I have press.”

“Another time, then.” 

“Yeah. Anyway, talking of showing me off...”

Blaine frowns as he pulls on a pair of shorts. “We weren’t.”

“We were. Earlier this morning, in the kitchen. You said we’d be going to your high school reunion.” 

“Ha! That was a joke, Kurt. I don’t actually know if or when there is one.” 

“Oh, but you’d still take me, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” Kneeling on the bed, he leans over the laptop and kisses me. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just I was thinking.” I pause a moment, to wait for the hammering in my heart to subside, but for some reason, it won’t. “It’s the premiere next week.”

“Kurt...”

“And I was just wondering if you’d come? I just really, really want you to be there with me. I want to show you off.”

“We did the photo shoot.” 

“I know, and that went well, didn’t it?”

“I didn’t enjoy it.” He moves from the bed to the window seat and there he sits, looking out at the night. “Can’t Cooper go?”

“He can, and he probably will. Him or Quinn, or both. I just... I just didn’t want to walk the red carpet alone, that’s all. I’ve never had anyone... Only dad.”

“Take him.”

“But he won’t walk the carpet, Blaine. He doesn’t... he’s not there in that capacity.”

“Neither would I be, though, would I? I don’t belong on a red carpet, Kurt. Not for something that’s your project.”

“But people know who you are,” I point out. “The press would go nuts for us together.” 

“That’s what this is about?”

“No! No, I swear. It’s about being proud, Blaine. Proud to be seen with you, proud that you’re proud of me, you know? It’s like....like with you standing there, you’re telling the world how much you support me in my work.” 

“Kurt, I love you. Really, I do. And I support you in everything, you know that.”

“Of course I do.” 

“I don’t need for the world to know that about us. I don’t care. I know it for myself. You know it.” 

“But...”

He moves back to the bed. Closing the laptop, he places it on the nightstand and then frames my face with his hands. “I can’t, Kurt, I’m sorry. I’ve told you that repeatedly. I went along with the photo shoot, but that’s as far as it goes. If you want to invite your dad then go for it. I’ll be here, with the kids, supporting you, loving you, always.” 

It’s hard to explain the feeling of deflation, but it’s heavy, and it hurts. It also, strangely, leaves me with no desire to argue back; just blind, dumb acceptance is all that comes to mind. I nod, take the kiss he offers, and let him pull me under the covers. That night, I feign tiredness and though Blaine holds me close all night, we don’t make love. 

I find myself thankful for the busy day ahead; when I wake I have to get moving right away and I don’t even have time to feed the kids breakfast before the car pulls up to collect Quinn, Cooper and I. It’s like nothing has happened with Blaine; he’s completely oblivious to my pain, and I tell his brother as much in the car. 

“Yeah, Blaine’s a bit like that. We both are.” 

“He’s not, though. Not usually. He’s usually more tuned into me than I am. He must know he’s hurt me, surely?” 

“Possibly he does,” Quinn offers. “But maybe he’s also too determined about this, and he won’t back down.” 

“But I usually win!”

Cooper laughs loudly. “Listen to yourself, Kurt! Look, Blaine is easy going, I know, but if he really sets his mind to something, you’re not going to get him to alter it. Like with you. Once he’d got there; made his decision that he wanted to be with you, it didn’t matter what anyone else said or thought. He’d made his mind up.” 

I pout, I know I do, but to learn I won’t win is something that takes some getting used to. My frustration is only further exacerbated by spending a whole day doing press for Firestone. I have people everywhere, giving me what I want, when I want. A can of coke, a bottle of water, fruit, cookies. Quinn and I have a conversation about the pure heaven that is Payday bars, and when I come back from the bathroom, a whole box of them has arrived. Every journalist I meet congratulates me on the show, some also congratulate me on my personal happiness. They ask pre-approved questions and I give pre-rehearsed answers. No one steps out of line; too fearful that if they do, the studio will cut their publication out of any future events. Everyone laughs at my jokes, nods and agrees with my opinions and in that place and time, I am King. 

Then I get home. 

“Joshy smells gross,” Maggie informs me the second I’m in the door. “Blaine is bathing Alice because she painted herself green, and grandpapa Burt is fixing the shelves in the playroom. But Joshy stinks.” 

“That’s wonderful.” I kiss her hello. “Where is he?”

She points down the hall, but really, I only needed to follow my nose. He does reek, and I carry him upstairs, calling out to Blaine on my way past the bathroom. 

“Hey beautiful. Hey beautiful green girl.” 

“She’s like the Jolly Green Giant,” Blaine moans, and I laugh in spite of myself. 

“Oh dear.” 

“I have photos.” 

“Good, good. We’ll keep them for her wedding.”

“I am NOT getting married, Kurtie. Yukky!”

I laugh again, and set about changing Joshua’s diaper. “Oh, gross,” I moan as I wipe him clean. “What in the hell have you been eating?”

“Papa!”

“Whatever.” 

Time runs away; hometime chaos blends in to dinnertime chaos, which in turn leads to bedtime chaos and then, finally, Blaine and I make it to the couch, wine in hand, while my dad and his beer take the armchair. 

“Peace.” 

“She looked like the Jolly Green Giant,” Blaine says again, and he hands his phone over. 

Sure enough, Alice is green, head to toe. She’d had the presence of mind to take her clothes off, except for her panties, and in the photos Blaine has, she’s clearly very proud of her efforts. 

“Why?”

“She wants to be Yoda.”

“Ha! You know, there’s a convention out in Texas next month. I have to go. We should take the kids, too. Alice would love it.” 

“Sure. Yeah, I like the sound of that. Can I ask Sam?”

I shug. “Ask who you want. There’ll be time to kill while I’m doing panels and stuff anyway. I’m gonna make Alice a Yoda costume.” 

“Cool.” 

“You won’t mind being seen with me?”

“Here he goes,” dad says knowledgeably. “Told you he wouldn’t let it drop, Blaine.” 

Blaine rolls his eyes and nudges my ankle with his toe. “Quit with that. Drink your wine and tell me about your day.”

“I was King.” 

“I don’t doubt that at all.” 

I’m sure he doesn’t, but it seems like I am not king at home.

The next day, after school, Carole comes. Our sessions are improving rapidly, and I find I actually look forward to her arriving now; I like to talk to her about a whole lot of different things, not just the kids. 

“Oh, and my dad is here,” I say as I make her coffee. “He’s selling up and moving this way.”

“Ah, Blaine came clean, did he?”

“Huh?”

“Oh.” Her eyes dart this way and that. “I mean...”

“Did they plan this?”

“Well... Anyway. I’d love to meet your dad if he’s around? It’d be great to get his insight on Maggie and Alice, and maybe we could share some of our strategies with him?”

“Sure. Dad!” 

He arrives far too quickly for someone who was going to wait in the living room, but I can’t be too mad; his eagerness to be involved in our counseling only highlights his concern for Maggie’s well-being. 

“Dad, this is Carole Hudson. Carole, meet Burt Hummel.”

A strange thing happens, and I’m glad that Blaine chooses that moment to arrive in the kitchen, because he gets to witness it too. My dad actually seems to blush as he offers his hand, and instead of bellowing, he mumbles a quite “Nice to meet you.”

The change in Carole’s demeanour is staggering. She switches from caring mom mode, to a bashful, possibly flirtatious woman that I don’t recognize. “You too,” she says, and as she shakes his hand, I swear to God she almost giggles before remembering her professional front. 

“I’m um... I’m sure Kurt’s told you that I’m working with him and Blaine, and the kids, of course. I’d be interested to know what you thought about it all, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, sure. Yeah. I mean... y’know. They’re good parents, aren’t they? The kids?”

“The kids are good parents?”

“My kids.”

“Oh.” Carole frowns slightly. “You have other kids?”

“Blaine.” 

“Huh?”

“My dad calls us his kids,” I explain. “Um... Blaine and I just need to go and check that Alice isn’t trying to morph into Darth Vader or something, and that’s really a two person job, so...”

I shove Blaine out into the hallway and like the kids dad thinks we are, we tear up the stairs and into our room, where Blaine falls on the bed, laughing, and I close the door and lean against it. 

“Oh my GOD!” I cry. I double over, laughing in total amazement. “Did you see that, Blaine? Did you really honestly see that? I wasn’t imagining that, was I?”

“No! Wow, they were not subtle. Either of them. Aw!”

“I know!” Then it hits me. “Oh no. She won’t act on it, will she? Code of conduct, ethics, whatever.” 

“Oh. Well... I mean, how would you feel if... I don’t know. If they did see each other?”

“Doesn’t bother me. I’d like dad to have someone, really.”

“Mmm, good that he’s moving this way, I think.”

“Right? Should I go tell her it’s okay?”

“No, Kurt, they met two minutes ago. Leave them alone.” 

“I might just...”

“Just...come here and appreciate that we’re alone up here, and no one knows but us.” 

“Ooh.” I smile, lock the door, and walk toward him. “What were you thinking?”

Blaine looks me up and down, his eyes turning dark. “On your knees, Kurt Hummel.” 

We are super quick; the thrill of potentially getting caught means we come in record time, and then hurriedly right our clothing and our hair before going back downstairs as if nothing has happened. Just before I open the door, though, Blaine pins me up against it and kisses me deeply. 

“I love you so much, Kurt.” 

I want to give a snarky reply, along the lines of “Come to the premiere with me, then,” but I don’t. The fact is, I love Blaine so much in return, and I don’t want to force him into a situation where he will feel so uncomfortable, so I say nothing, and we walk downstairs hand in hand. 

“Good Lord you two must think we’re all idiots,” Cooper says when he sees us. “And if you’re wondering where your dad is, Kurt, he’s walking Carole to the train station. Apparently, he insisted and, apparently, she accepted.”

“Right.” My upset forgotten, I wait by the window, grinning out at the street. “Good.” 

Dad is purposely very cagey about Carole, but over the years, the few times I recall him dating anyone, he never really said very much about it. He heads back to Ohio, but not before I’ve asked him to fly back for the premiere. He seemed surprised, and asked how come Blaine wasn’t going, but he didn’t push it when I said he just didn’t want to. 

The next time Carole visits, I casually drop in that we might not be needing sessions much longer. 

“Oh? Not according to Cooper. You might need them more, for a time.” 

“Cooper is my assistant. He is not me.”

“True. You tell me, then. With everything coming up, don't you think I should be on hand? If it’s the money, I’ll drop my fee. The girls are so wonderful, I really want to make sure these next few months go smoothly for them. Especially the move.”

“It’s not the fee,” I snap. “I just don’t want you working with us to get in the way of you dating my dad. You know....if that was a thing that you... You know.”

Carole turns as red as a London bus, and looks at the floor. “He did mention getting coffee when he’s in town next week.”

“And?”

“And I said no. I didn’t think it was professional, for a start, but also, I wasn’t sure how you would feel, and I care for you, Kurt. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” 

“Oh for the love of God, Carole, say yes, please.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Nothing would make me happier.” 

She nods, and thinks for a moment. “In that case, I want you to stop paying me.”

“No way.”

“Yes. I can’t have my integrity compromised. I’ll continue with the girls just as I have done, but whether I have one coffee date with Burt, or six, or whatever, I can’t do that while you’re paying me in a professional capacity.” 

“Fine.” I sigh heavily. “But I’m gonna find some way to pay you back, whether you like it or not.” 

Carole smiles, and squeezes my hand. “I think you know what you need to do, sweetheart.”

The day of my premiere is possibly the worst day I’ve had for a while. The night before, Blaine plays a gig in a new bar. I go for a time, but leave early. I assume he’ll be fine in Cooper’s hands, only he rolls home at three in the morning, very drunk, and falls asleep in the guest room. 

Our day starts with a row over whether or not it’s appropriate to get drunk on a school night, and I make him get up and out of the house to take Maggie to school, while I rush Alice to pre-K. Polly stays with Joshua, and I go across town with Quinn to get my tux fitted for the premiere. 

“Cooper’s collecting dad from the airport,” I tell her. “He’ll meet us at the outfitters.” 

Only, dad doesn’t meet us there; his plane is delayed, and in the end, we have to take his tux home. He gets to me at six, exactly a half hour before we need to leave, when Joshy is throwing his dinner around the kitchen, Alice and Maggie are fighting, and Blaine is whining because he has a headache. 

“You know what, Blaine? I don’t give a damn. You’re paying the price for being a dumbass.”

“Ass, ass!” Alice chants. 

“Be quiet. Look, tonight is the biggest night of my life. You won’t come, my dad isn’t even here yet, and I have carrot in my hair and no time to take a shower. Don’t you dare whine to me about your stupid head hurting!”

Blaine nods. “Sorry. You’re right, of course. I'm sorry. Go, go take your shower and get ready. We’ll get cleaned up here and then we’ll wave you off.” The doorbell goes. “That’ll be Burt. Go on, I’ll let him in.” 

“Ass!”

“Alice!”

I take the opportunity Blaine offers to me, and run upstairs, calling out hello to dad over my shoulder. I’m ready as quickly as I can; I’ve already had a haircut, shave and manicure earlier in the day while Blaine was languishing at home moaning about his hangover. 

“Very handsome,” he says when I walk down the stairs. He stands at the bottom, looking up, and it’s only then I notice he’s still in his pyjamas. 

“Where’s dad?”

“Right here sunshine.” Dad offers his arm and I take it, smiling at him and ignoring my annoyance over Blaine. 

“You look so beautiful,” Maggie breathes, and Alice jumps up and down excitedly. 

“Like a prince, Kurtie! Like a papa prince!”

“Thank you, girls.” Feeling full of nerves, I try to breathe but it’s a struggle. “Okay.” I give a weak smile at Blaine. “The car should be here in a moment, so...”

“Okay. I just need to use the bathroom. I’ll be back to kiss you goodbye!”

“He’s probably throwing up,” My dad informs me. “He’s looking worse for wear.”

“In that case, I think I’d rather he didn’t kiss me goodbye. Gross.” 

The doorbell goes. “That’ll be the car and Cooper. Okay.” Kissing each child and whispering my goodnights, the doorbell rings again and I pull it open to see Cooper waiting there, dressed in regular jeans and a shirt. 

“What the hell are you wearing?”

He says nothing, but looks over my head, and I turn. Like a true Prince Charming, Blaine has transformed in a matter of moments. He’s dressed in an elegant black tux and white scarf, as he was when we went to the awards ceremony all those months prior. He is clean shaven and he looks more handsome and debonair than I’ve ever seen. 

“Oh my God.”

“Come on, Kurt,” he says with a smile. “You didn’t think I’d really miss out on your big night, did you?”

“But you... and... Oh my God, you all knew, didn’t you? All of you.”

“I KNOWED!” Alice shouts loudly. “Grandpapa Burt said not to breathe!”

“A word,” Maggie explains. “Not to breathe a word.” 

My dad claps me on the shoulder. “You are so easy to fool, Kurt.”

“Thanks!”

Blaine reaches the bottom of the stairs and kisses my lips softly. “You might want to show me off, Kurt, but let me tell you, tonight is all about you. I am so damn proud of you, of the work you’ve put into this show, of the way you’ve juggled being a parent, finding a new relationship, and filming a major TV show, and I can’t wait to share this evening with you and your dad.”

I blink, quickly wiping at an escaping tear. “Thank you,” I manage to get out. Taking his hand in mine, I kiss the kids one more time before Cooper takes over childcare and we go. 

“Told ya,” Cooper whispers just before I step outside. “He’ll never let you down. By the way, I took a call earlier.”

“And?”

“And it’s a yes.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Blaine**

 

Kurt jumps into the car, and kisses me soundly on the mouth. “I love you!” he cries, then settles back into the seat with a massive grin on his face. 

 

Burt laughs. “You look like the cat who got the cream.” 

 

“Oh I did. I really did.”

 

I take his hand in mine and kiss his fingers. “I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t come.” 

 

“Tell me honestly, were you always going to come, or did you change your mind?”

 

“I changed my mind at the photoshoot. Or rather, when I saw the photos. I figured if I could get through that, I could easily do this. Besides, if I had to look at pictures of you, standing there on your own? I’d feel terrible. We’re partners, right? For life. Being partners means we always support one another.” 

 

“I’ll hold you to it,” he says, his eyes sparkling. 

 

The red carpet for the first viewing of Firestone is like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard in my lifetime. We’re herded into a holding area, but fans see us arrive and the screams start. 

 

“I’m gonna go over there and offer my autograph,” Burt declares. “Tell them I fathered the great Kurt Hummel.” 

 

“It’s all about selfies now, dad,” Kurt says with a laugh. He seems happier than I’ve ever known, and it seems to radiate out of him. He keeps hold of my hand, the only real sign of any nerves, but he greets everyone warmly, and the way all the cast and crew greet him in return, tells me how much they’ve all enjoyed working together on the show. 

 

Quinn arrives, her professional head well and truly on. She has a woman with a clipboard by her side, and together they inform Kurt of the evening’s events. “You’re last on the carpet,” she says, reading the list. “And once you’ve done your solo spot you’ll head over for photos with the rest of the cast and crew. The screening takes place at seven thirty. You have to sit with the cast; Blaine, you and Burt will be with me. After that is the party. Just a reminder, Kurt, that you’re there in a professional capacity so while it’s fine to keep Blaine with you, please don’t drink too much or do things you shouldn’t.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. By the way, Blaine’s walking the carpet with me.” 

 

I wait for her to say I can’t, but she doesn’t. In fact, Quinn’s composure breaks completely and she grins, then hugs me hard. “I love it!”

 

“One more thing,” Kurt says, and steers her off to one side. 

 

I don’t know what’s said, but Kurt keeps one hand on Quinn’s arm throughout, and she nods, concentrating hard on whatever it is he’s saying. Then she wipes away a tear. I’m just about to go over, but then she hugs Kurt, kisses his cheek, and when she pulls back, she smiles and blows another kiss before she hurries away. 

 

“Did you just fire her?”

 

Kurt frowns and laughs. “What? No! Why would I fire Quinn?”

 

“Why was she crying?”

 

“Hormonal, probably. Anyway. Let’s go.” 

 

I don’t even know where Burt goes, or where Quinn has disappeared to. I only know that we are herded along like cattle until a woman in a headset gives a dazzling smile, and ushers us out onto a red carpet. 

 

“Aw shit, I hate these,” Kurt mutters. 

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I’ve never enjoyed them at all.” 

 

“Ah, but this time, you have me.” 

 

He stops, much to the annoyance of headset woman who yells at us to keep moving, but Kurt only has eyes for me, and I, him. “I love you,” he says softly, and draws me close for a lingering kiss. While not officially on the carpet in that moment, I hear the fans give a loud cheer and I know tomorrow will hold blurry, far off pictures of the kiss. 

 

“Come on, hot stuff,” I tease, “Time for me to show you off.” 

 

Kurt gives a crisp nod, takes a deep breath, and then takes my hand. The second we step in front of the press, the noise is deafening. 

 

“Kurt, Kurt, over here!”

 

“This way, Kurt, give us a smile! Blaine too, that’s it!”

 

And on and on it goes. I can see exactly why Kurt hates it; it’s impossible to see, and you can’t really distinguish what anyone is saying. We just stand there, with fixed grins, turning this way and that. 

 

“Move closer to him, Blaine!” 

 

I do as I’m told, sliding my arm about Kurt’s waist. “You okay?”

 

“Mmhmm, I guess.” 

 

I lean a little closer so I can whisper in his ear. “You look more beautiful than I’ve ever seen.” 

 

Kurt turns, smiling, and it’s at that point, when we’re looking at each other, our foreheads almost touching, that the press goes crazy. I couldn’t care less whether they like what they’re getting or not; Kurt keeps his magnificent eyes fixed on me as he speaks. 

 

“Thank you. I think it might be because I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Good things are coming, Blaine.” 

 

“I don’t doubt it.” 

 

We’re moved along, finally, but then there’s a whole wall of fans and I find that even more difficult. I stand back, grateful to see Quinn again, but many of the fans call out to me to sign stuff or have a picture, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. 

 

“Kurt, get your boyfriend over!”

 

“Oh, he’s a little shy,” Kurt says with a smile. “But I’ll take a picture with you if you’d like?”

 

He is the consummate professional; making each fan feel like he knows and cares about them personally, while still maintaining his distance. 

 

“It’s all an act, isn’t it?”

 

“A game,” Quinn agrees. “Kurt loves his job, of course, the actual acting part, but being a celebrity is a full time job. If he put himself on display all the time, he’d never have any privacy. These people? They’re wonderful; supportive, kind...but he doesn’t know them. His job is to make them  _ think _ they know him.” 

 

“They don’t, though.” 

 

“Not really. They know he’s sweet, and kind, but they don’t know that he eats marshmallows until he’s sick, or that no one likes to speak to him until he’s had coffee.” 

 

I laugh, catching onto the game. “Or that he leaves his underwear on the floor until I pick it up, or that he likes to eat that gross stinky cheese and then breathe in my face.” 

 

“He’s snarky.” 

 

“Rude.”

 

“An ass.”

 

“A stinky cheese eating moron.”

 

“And you love him.” 

 

“I do.” I smile, watching Kurt as he moves along the fans. “Gosh, I really, really do.”

 

“That’s love, though, isn’t it? Flaws and all?”

 

“I think so. I know I wouldn’t want to share this life with anyone else.” 

 

“That’s good, because I know for a fact that Kurt wouldn’t either.” 

 

We watch in silence, then, and when Kurt is right at the end, I see him talking to an older lady, and then he comes rushing over. “Hey. Listen, I know you don’t want to sign, but there’s this little girl over there, she’s only eight. She’s sitting down there in her wheelchair and she really wanted to see you. Will you just come over?”

 

“It’s your night, Kurt. I don’t want to...”

 

“Please?”

 

“If you’re sure.” 

 

The roar from the crowd is even louder than the press had been, and it’s intimidating. I follow Kurt, who holds my hand, over to a small, dark-haired girl sitting in a wheelchair. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

She beams, and her mom crouches down next to her. “This is Kayla.”

 

“Hi Kayla, nice to meet you. How old are you?”

 

“I’m nine next week.” 

 

“Oh.” Kurt moves the barrier, to the alarm of the security team, but it means we can can get down to her level, and Kurt busies himself signing her poster. “So is it tricky, being eight nearly nine? Our daughter is nearly six, and she’s desperate not to be five anymore. November can’t come quickly enough.”

 

The girl giggles. “I liked being six. But I like being nearly nine better. Would you sign my poster?”

 

“Sure.” I make my mark and hand it back. 

 

“Would you like a picture?” Kurt asks, and her whole face lights up. 

 

“With both of you? Yes please. I listen to your music, Blaine. I have physio for my lungs and my legs every day, and your songs help me to forget about it. Then my mom let me watch Coldwater, because even though it’s PG Thirteen, I was really sick and so she let me.”

 

“Oh you’re lucky,” Kurt says with a laugh. “Do you think she’ll let you watch Firestone too?”

 

“I’ve told her I need to watch it first,” her mom says with a smile. “But I have a feeling I’ll end up giving in.” 

 

We pose for our photo, shake Kayla’s hand, and then, finally, we head inside. “That was nice.” 

 

“Yeah.” Kurt kisses my cheek quickly. “You were born to be a daddy, you know? You might not have ever wanted it, or thought it would happen, but you’re a natural with kids.” 

 

“Boys, there’s a buffet!”

 

“....And we’ve found dad,” Kurt says, laughing. 

 

As it turns out, the food is pretty good, and we all get our fill before the screening starts. It’s strange to see Kurt up on the screen, but it’s an incredibly special moment. I guess because he’s my Kurt, I find it hard to imagine him as Trenton Walker, AKA The Firestone, but wow is he watchable. 

 

If the reaction from the assembled audience is anything to go by after the preview of the first episode, things are about to get a whole lot busier for Kurt and the rest of the cast, not quieter. 

 

“Is a standing ovation normal?” I ask Quinn over the noise, and she grins and shakes her head. 

 

“That’s my boy!” Burt booms, and in the front row, between his female co-star and the director, I see Kurt turn around and wave. That’s the last I see of him for two hours. I’m grateful Burt is with me, since we are directed to wait at the party, and I don’t like being in a room full of people I don’t know. 

 

“It’s all working out, isn’t it?” Burt asks. He nabs two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and hands one to me. “You two moving, me moving...”

 

“You and Carole.”

 

“Steady on. We haven’t even met for coffee yet.”

 

“Tomorrow, right?” 

 

“Nine am.” He takes a deep breath and draws himself up to his full height. “Yep.”

 

“You nervous?”

 

“Don’t be silly.” But I see the look in his eyes. 

 

Kurt is one of the last to arrive at the party, entering into a room that is full of industry experts mixing with actors friends and family. Burt doesn’t stay too long; he has to be up early, apparently, and Kurt and I tease him long and hard about getting ready for his coffee date.    
  


“Whatever. At least Carole and I are mature enough to say we’d like to go on a date, instead of you two morons who danced around each other for months on end. Fools.” 

 

He has a point, so we shut up after that. 

 

We have barely a second alone; everyone who’s anyone wants to come and congratulate Kurt on the show, and a few ask me about my music, too. As a result, by the time we do find that it’s just us, it’s getting really late and we’re both tired. 

 

“Hard work.” 

 

“Right?” Kurt agrees. “I’m exhausted.”

 

We stand looking out at the dance floor, which now only holds a few stragglers. “Dance with me?”

 

He looks across and smiles, taking the hand I offer. “Sure.” 

 

I’m not sure if dancing together counts as something we shouldn’t be doing. I know we’re pretty conspicuous, with Kurt in his white tux jacket, and us being one of only four couples on the floor, but I also know I don’t care. I hold Kurt close, my lips grazing his collar, one arm around his waist, the other holding his hand. 

 

“The last time we danced like this, we weren’t together.”

 

“That’s the only time,” Kurt points out. “And I loved and hated it, all at the same time. You told me you were scared.” 

 

“I was. Gosh, I remember wanting to kiss you so desperately. Not just then, but all the time. Each time I kissed your cheek, I wanted to be bold enough to kiss your lips instead. I used to wonder what you would feel like, taste like. How it would be.”

 

“I could kiss you forever, I think. I never tire of your mouth on mine.”

 

I pull him a little bit closer, kissing behind his ear. “I always want this. I know I said I regretted that first time, when we ended up in my armchair together, but you know what? I don’t think I can regret it, actually. I was so desperate to feel you, to know the weight of you, the press of your body against mine. I was so hopelessly in love with you, Kurt, even then.” 

 

I don’t get to say another word. Kurt takes my face in his hands and kisses me. It’s not a sweet, romantic little kiss; it’s a full on, deep, long kiss that definitely holds the promise of more. I can’t help but respond, even though somewhere, in the back of my mind, is Quinn telling us we needed to behave. 

 

But that’s hard to do when Kurt’s tongue is in my mouth, when I can hear him breathing in, when I can feel his fingers digging into my back. Suddenly our groins touch, and that’s when Kurt breaks the kiss and pulls back to look at me, his eyes dark. 

 

“Home.”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“I want you,” he says, as if that’s not already apparent. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“I mean I want you inside of me, Blaine.” 

 

I feel an immediate flare of heat in the pit of my stomach, and I kiss him one more time. “Let’s go.” 

 

The house is quiet when we get home; Cooper has long since gone home and Burt is sound asleep in the guest room. Still, we creep up the stairs as silently as possible, and then, once we’ve locked the bedroom door, we can really begin. 

 

I pin Kurt to the wall, kissing him hard, and we make out like that for the longest time, until my lips are tingling so much that I have no choice but to stop. We move instead to clothing, gradually undressing each other until there’s nothing left, and the press of our naked bodies together makes us both sigh loudly. 

 

“It’s been so long.” 

 

“Thursday, Kurt.” 

 

“So long.” He grins, his hands smoothing down over my back and then lower. “You wanna take me up against this wall?”

 

“No I do not. Well.... I mean... I wouldn’t be averse to it, but not now. Not the first time... I mean, can I even do it?”

 

“Yes, Blaine, you can. I have no doubt.” 

 

“Can we do it in bed, then?”

 

“Of course.” 

 

He scoots back on top of the covers, and I kneel on the bed between his legs. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“You won’t. We can go slow, right? Like we did when it was your first time.” 

 

The memory stirs that familiar heat once again, and then we’re kissing, teasing, touching, biting, and then I’m leaning over to fumble in the nightstand. 

 

“I’ll get it.” 

 

“No, I can....” I stretch further, not wanting to move my body from Kurt’s, but he pushes me off, grabs the lube himself, and slams the drawer shut. 

 

“There.” 

 

“You’re so impatient.” 

 

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.” He even takes the tube and squeezes it onto my fingers himself, then moves my hand. 

 

“Okay, I’m getting there.” 

 

And get there we do. It’s not too long before Kurt is gripping the sheets tightly, asking for more, and when I take him into my mouth, he’s torn between stopping me or letting me carry on. “I can’t... I mean, I’ll come so quickly....but... oh god.” 

 

“Your choice, Kurt.” 

 

“Cock.” 

 

“Dirty boy,” I say with a laugh, but I move between his legs anyway, and press against him. “Ready?”

 

“Hell yes I am.” 

 

There’s a tightness and a heat that I hadn’t anticipated, despite having been the recipient many times now. Kurt makes noises, low in his throat, that turn me on so much I have to stop and catch my breath, but then I’m there, totally inside of him, and I feel his hands smoothing over my ass, see the smile on his face, feel the press of his body against mine, and everything is perfect. 

 

It is hot, intense, and slow. We make love with our eyes fixed on one another and both of us acutely aware of the other’s feelings. Somehow I know when Kurt needs me closer, and we turn onto our sides, with me spooned behind him. It’s hard to kiss like that, but it’s more intimate, and as I feel my pleasure building, I bite lightly into his shoulder. “I’m totally gonna come inside of you,” I whisper, and he groans, throwing his head back. 

 

“Go on, Blaine. Do it.” 

 

“Kurt....”

 

Suddenly I’m there, and then he is too; I don’t know how long he’d been holding off for, but it’s very apparent that he has been, because his whole body shudders hard, and he curses several times in a row. 

 

“Holy shit,” he finally says, and then all the tension leaves his body and he lies there, wrapped in my arms, slightly trembling. 

 

“Cold?” 

 

“A little. Tired.” 

 

He kisses each of my fingers and then we part, cleaning up quickly before falling under the covers. “Blaine?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Thank you for tonight.” 

 

“It was my pleasure, Kurt, trust me. I couldn’t be more proud, more honored that someone as wonderful as you, could choose to love someone like me.” 

 

“Oh, it’s quite easy, really. You’re sorta really beautiful. Inside and out.” 

 

We fall asleep, but for some reason, I wake when dawn is only just breaking; the room is slowly beginning to brighten, and I lie there, replaying the events of the night before. 

 

“Hey beautiful.” 

 

Kurt lies on his front and I turn, mirroring his pose so we are both hugging our pillows. “Hey. You can’t sleep?”

 

“I guess not. What time is it?”

 

“Five thirty.” 

 

“Really? We’ve only been asleep three hours. What are you thinking about?” 

 

“How much I enjoyed last night. How much I love you.”

 

He smiles, full of sleepiness; his hair sticking up, a shadow of stubble across his jaw, his eyes not quite fully open. “I love you too. So much. I feel fantastic.”

 

“Really?” 

 

“Hey!” He gives a gravelly laugh, and his foot nudges my ankle. “I might not look it, but I feel it.”

 

“You do look it, actually. You look cute. And you look like the Kurt that only I know. The one only I get to see.” 

 

Turning onto my back, I fold my arms under my head and smile up at the ceiling. “You think we’ll always be like this, you and I?”

 

“Dunno. You might get bored of me.”

 

“That’ll never happen.” 

 

“It might. You could wake up one morning and think ‘I’ve had enough of Kurt. Imma dump him.’”

 

I laugh. “Yeah right. I’d marry you tomorrow if you asked.” 

 

“Ha! You would not!”

 

I turn my head to him and stick my tongue out. “You haven’t asked, so how would you know?” 

 

Kurt laughs loudly, pats my tummy, and pulls himself from the bed. I watch as he pulls pyjama pants on, to go in search of coffee no doubt, and then I close my eyes and stretch, feeling the satisfying ache of muscles that have been working hard the night before. 

 

“Will you, then?” 

 

I open my eyes, confused, but Kurt isn’t standing by the bed, he’s on the floor, on one knee, and holding a ring box. 

 

“What?” I sit immediately, pulling the covers across my lap and rubbing a hand across my jaw. “Excuse me, what?”

 

“Will you uh... Will you marry me? In fact,” he rushes on, before I can even squeak. “I just...” 

 

He fumbles in the nightstand drawer and pulls out a thick envelope. “Actually, Blaine, that’s not all I’m asking.” His hands shake violently as he places the envelope in front of me. “I didn’t go to San Francisco to work. I went to meet with lawyers, and the kid’s biological family. They’ve already signed away all legal rights, leaving the path clear for us to adopt them. I’ve looked into it, and I have all the papers. No one will contest it, and it should go through easily. So I guess... I guess what I’m asking is, Blaine Anderson, will you be my husband, and will you adopt Maggie, Alice and Joshy with me?”

 

I do squeak, then, and the tears are falling thick and fast before I can find enough voice to give a “Yes.” But when I do, when it’s out there, Kurt falls on me, kissing me frantically, our tears mingling together. There are many, many questions to come, but right now, in this moment, all that matters is the overwhelming feeling of completion. 

 

“We’re getting married,” Kurt whispers, his lips curving into a smile against my own. “I always wanted to marry you, you know.”

 

“You did not.” 

 

“Well... I bought the ring right after you visited me in Vancouver, so...”

 

“Oh. OH. That was really soon.” 

 

“Exactly. So shut up, you know nothing. Oh. Ring!”

 

It’s a titanium band, with three small diamonds set across the top. “One for each of them,” Kurt says as he slides it into place. “Daddy.” 

 

I grin, admiring my hand before pulling him close once more. “Daddy. Yeah.” I smile, kissing his lips again. “I like the sound of that.” 


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N- Advance warning- Next chapter is the last one!** _

**Kurt**

 

For a long time, we don’t really speak. We just lie there, looking at each other, or the ring on Blaine’s finger, and then sharing kisses. Blaine looks as peaceful and content as I feel. 

 

I hadn’t meant to propose. Well, I had, but just not in that moment. I was planning to wait another week or two, until I had some more adoption details finalized. I tell all this to Blaine, as I lie with my head on his chest. His fingers comb through my hair; his breathing is slow and steady. 

 

“Why did you ask then?”

 

“It just felt right. I don’t know. Last night was just... a step up, I think. Like I fell for you all over again, and like everything was falling into place. Then you made that joke...”

 

“Yeah, I should never provoke you, huh?”

 

I laugh, and kiss his chest. “Depends if you think you’ll like the outcome or not.”

 

“I liked this one. Why didn’t you tell me you were trying to adopt?”

 

“A few reasons. I knew this was what I wanted. I knew it was what you wanted, too. I just didn’t want you to be let down if it couldn’t happen for whatever reason. I didn’t want to put you through that. I was scared enough, and I didn’t want you to go through those emotions as well.” 

 

“But we could’ve been scared together.”

 

“Yes, but Blaine, you changed your whole life to be with me. I was always gay. I had the kids. I had a career, I was dealing with fame. You took a huge, massive step into so many unknown entities, and I know how much that scared you.”

 

“Still does, on occasion.”    
  
“Right. And I knew... _ know _ , how much you love the kids, how your whole life revolves around them, and me, because I’m the same.” 

 

“So what happens now? Where are we at?”

 

“Well, it all started a long time ago, when you left Vancouver.”

 

“Kurt!”   
  
“I went ring shopping, and then, by myself, I contacted Nick’s family. They basically said they didn’t care what I did. They have no interest in knowing the kids. I mean, the girls aren’t his, I know, but I don’t even think they know Joshua exists.”

 

“But is he Nick’s anyway?”

 

“I don’t think we’ll ever know. But he’ll be ours, won’t he?”

 

Blaine smiles, and wriggles a little, his excitement clear. “Yeah. Still, though.” 

 

“Right? Anyway, I also contacted Kelly’s parents.”

 

“That’s the mom? I never knew her name.”

 

“Yeah. She’s uh... she’s in a facility out in Arizona. Not mentally stable enough to ever think of having them back. Obviously, the Aunt is barred from any contact. They seemed nice, though, her parents.”

 

“So do they want to know them?” 

 

“No. Seemed. They _ seemed _ nice. They outright asked me for money.”

 

“What?”

 

“That’s when I knew I had to ask a lawyer for help. It’s kinda been left with them, a lot of wrangling back and forth. You know what pissed me off the most? They don’t want the kids. They just want to get what they can out of us.” 

 

Blaine sighs, and holds me a little bit closer. “I hate that. So I assume they know where they are, and who they’re with, then? What’s to stop them coming after us? Showing up ten years down the line and causing trouble?”

 

“Right now, nothing. They’ll sign away all legal responsibility, on behalf of Kelly because she can’t make those decisions for herself. But they I’m still worried they could come back unless we get something in place. That’s why Cooper and I flew out there. I wanted them to see me, to know that I’m a decent person trying to do a decent job. They were sticking in the mud over all sorts of things, including you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Two guys adopting their precious grandchildren...whom they haven’t contacted in nearly ten months. Anyway, it’s recommended that we add a no-contact order into the adoption, which I’d like to do.”

 

“I think I would, too.”

 

“But I’d also like to give money to Kelly.”

 

“What?” Blaine sits up, looking as alarmed as his brother had when I said it out loud. “Kurt, no.”

 

“No, listen. Nick asked me to take these kids on, and I did, never knowing that they’d turn out to be the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. That’s all down to her. She gave birth to them, Blaine. I want to know she’s looked after in life. Cooper’s been looking into it for me, and I can make payments to the unit where she is, so the family don’t benefit at all; it will all be for her care, to try and get her the help she needs. She won’t be able to contact us, or the kids, unless she went through an attorney, and even then, we would be within our rights to refuse.”

 

Running his fingers through his hair, Blaine thinks, then takes a deep breath. “Okay. Yes, you’re right, they’re here because of her, and I get that you feel an obligation to try and make sure her health is taken care of. But what do we tell the kids?”

 

“I don’t know. We work with Polly and Carole, I guess. I think... I think when they get older, I want them to know that they have a mom, and that she tried her best, but that she just wasn’t well enough to help them.”

 

“What if they want to look her up, though? What if... I don’t know. What if Maggie finds her, and decides she likes her more than us? What then?”

 

“We’d still be Maggie’s legal parents,” I say softly, taking his hand in mine. “And you know what I think? Even if they do end up in contact, I think none of our kids could ever love anyone as much as they love us. And I think it’s our job to make sure they feel so safe, and loved, that they’ll never want to abandon us.” 

 

He nods. “I want to do this. I do. But gosh, I’m scared.” 

 

“There ya go! I knew it.” 

 

“I always worry.”

 

“You do, but Blaine, my darling, please don’t. The proposal has been approved in principal, and we should manage to get it all through pretty quick. Let’s face it, Kelly’s parents are basically getting half off her medical bills, and if they choose to, which I think they will, they can forget all about Maggie, Alice and Joshy’s existence. Meanwhile, you and I will get married, and become the legal parents of three little angels.” 

 

Blaine laughs, lying me down on the bed and kissing my lips. “I’ll remind you of that when they’re all being vile.” 

 

“One more thing before we get down to the fun stuff.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I want us all to be Andersons.” 

 

He doesn’t answer, just blinks, and a tear splashes down onto my nose. 

 

“Yes?”

 

“Your work...”

 

“I’d probably hyphenate for that, but legally, I want us to be the Andersons. Although I think your name will become known, it’s also a regular name. It allows the kids to blend into school and life. Plus I just really want to be yours.” 

 

“You’re mine anyway,” he says, grinning. “But I love the idea, thank you.” 

 

He kisses me long, deep, and dirty, and although we’re both tired out, I can’t help but respond, opening my legs and bringing my hands up to the back of his neck. 

 

“HEY! BANE! Let me in!”

 

“Oh God.” 

 

I sigh, rubbing at Blaine’s back. “I guess we’d better....”

 

“KURTIE? You there?”

 

“Coming, Alice!” I roll out of bed, wait for Blaine to find his underwear, and then pull the door open. “Good morning, beautiful girl.”

 

“‘Lo. Coming in, Kurtie. Want cuddles.” She marches into the room, and burrows under the covers from the bottom up, as she always does, until she emerges by Blaine’s face. “You’re pretty.” 

 

Blaine smiles and kisses her nose. “Thank you. So are you.”

 

She frowns. “You’re more pretty today. All shiny. Why are you shiny?”

 

“Kurt makes me very happy. And so do you.” 

 

“Yes I do.”

 

Unsurprisingly, Maggie quickly follows, quietly sliding into bed and welcoming my arms around her, and she sucks her thumb while playing with Blaine’s hair. Alice now sits astride his stomach, again something she often does, occasionally pulling at his chest hair to make him yelp, and us laugh. 

 

“It’s not funny! You’re a devil, Alice.”

 

“I know.” She grins. “I was thinking, and I think that I want to be the Joker.” 

 

“Oh no. He’s mean!” 

 

“He’s funny. And green and white. And I was green that time, Bane. ‘Member?”

 

“I do. Very well.”

 

The door opens and I’m fully expecting it to be dad, since he has no boundaries, but it’s Joshua, dragging his comforter and a little stuffed bunny that Blaine bought him. He looks adorably perfect; his hair curls wildly, his cheeks are all pink from sleep, and his smile lights up his face. 

 

“How on earth did he get out?” 

 

“He climbed, I’m guessing,” Blaine helpfully observes. “That’s gonna be fun.” 

 

“Up, papa,” he calls, holding his arms out. I lift him onto the bed, and he sets about wriggling in between Blaine and Maggie. “Papa,” he calls again, and I squeeze in behind Magie once more, holding her close. 

 

I look over the top of her head, and catch Blaine’s eye. Nothing needs to be said between us; we just know. 

 

“So uh... kids. Blaine and I have some news.” 

 

“Boring,” Alice declares. 

 

“Not boring, buttercup.” Blaine taps her knee and she looks at him. “I think you’ll want to hear this.” 

 

“So you know what it means to be married, right?”

 

Maggie’s eyes goes wide and she nods fervently. “Yes!”

 

“Like you and Bane.”

 

“No, Alice, we’re not married.” 

 

“Because boys can’t marry boys.”

 

“Uh, well, actually, they can,” Blaine says, gently correcting Maggie. “And this morning, Kurt asked if I would marry him.”

 

“Gross!”

 

“Not gross,” I say, laughing. I tickle Alice’s toes. “I love Blaine very much.”

 

“We know!”

 

Maggie reaches out, gently patting Blaine’s shoulder. “Did you say yes?”

 

He holds his hand up, showing her the ring. “I did.”

 

“Yay!” Her shout of delight is positively a yell for her, and she claps her hands. Her joy is infectious, and Alice bounces up and down, while Joshua claps frantically with no idea why. 

 

“So there will be a wedding?”

 

“There will be a wedding,” I say, bopping her nose. “And there will be bridesmaids.”

 

“Oh, me! ME! And Alice. Me and Alice!”

 

“Of course.”

 

Alice pulls Blaine’s chest hair. “Can I be green?”

 

“No!”

 

She pouts, and we all laugh, but Maggie’s exuberance is the perfect reaction. She lies there, stroking my face, cooing about dresses, and rings, and weddings. 

 

“There’s another thing, and I think you two girls need to be grown up and listen closely, okay?”

 

They both nod, and even Joshua stops inspecting his sister’s pyjamas to listen. “You know you had a daddy?”

 

Maggie frowns. “A long time ago we did.”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“He liked Meatloaf.” 

 

“He did. And I was good friends with your daddy. He asked me to take care of you, and so I did. Do you remember your mommy?”

 

Maggie frowns again. “I remember her shouting a lot. I remember lots of crying.” 

 

“Uh....”

 

“I’m sorry about that, sweetie.” Blaine takes her hand and kisses it. “How do you feel living with us?”

 

“I like it a lot a lot. Because also, do you remember when you weren’t here, Blaine? I didn’t like it much, then. Because Kurt was so busy, and I didn’t know how to get to the bathroom at night if I needed to pee, or where to put my shoes when we came home. But then Kurt wasn’t busy, and he showed me where to pee and where to put my shoes, and you were here more and more and more, and now you live here.”

 

He laughs. “That’s right. So do you like that we’re a family?”

 

“Yes. And also, Blaine, you know Lucas in my class? He said I didn’t live with Firestone and I said I did.”

 

“You do,” I say, pulling my Firestone pose to make her laugh. “And I love that you live with us. All of you. And Blaine and I were thinking that we might become a proper family.”

 

“We are a family.”

 

“Yes, of course but uh... I mean, you know how Joshy calls me papa? I was wondering if you and Alice might like to do that too, and maybe...maybe if you did, then you could call Blaine...”

 

“DADDY!” Alice yells, bouncing up and down. “Yes please!” 

 

Maggie laughs; a reaction I was not expecting. “We did want to do that for ages! That’s why I teached Joshy to say papa when he sees you.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You taught him that?” Blaine asks. 

 

“Yes! Me and Alice. We wanted you to be our papa, Kurt. That’s all. Did I do wrong?” 

 

I can barely swallow over the lump in my throat, but I find it within myself to pull her close and kiss her cheeks. “No, my darling girl, you didn’t. Not at all. I’m sorry I didn’t let you do it sooner.”

 

“Why don’t you try it on for size?” Blaine suggests, saving the situation before I crumple completely. “See how it sounds?”

 

Ever serious and diligent, Maggie takes my face in her little hands and studies me. She smiles slightly. “My papa. Yes, I like it.” 

 

“Papa and daddy! Papa and Daddy!”

 

Blaine laughs, then stops Alice’s bouncing. “If it seems a little strange, you can call me Blaine, if you want, or daddy Blaine. I don’t know. I mean, I know you had a daddy so...”

 

“Long time ago,” Maggie repeats. “He lives with Jesus now.”

 

“Oh?” I’m surprised by the mention of any faith since we’ve never discussed it. “And what do you think he’d say to Jesus about it all?”

 

“I think he would like Blaine being my daddy, if he couldn’t do it.”

 

“So do I. Wanna try it?”

 

“Daddy. It sounds... It sounds like God made that word just for Blaine.”

 

“Holy crap she’s gonna end up being a nun,” I moan, and Blaine wipes at his happy tears and laughs. 

 

“I don’t think so. Hey Joshy, where’s papa?”

 

“Papa,” he calls happily, and then he rolls over and kisses my face. “Papa.”

 

“Good boy,” I say, wiping away the drool. “Joshy, can you say daddy?”

 

He sits upright, and launches himself over the top of Maggie, and onto Blaine’s face. “Daddy,” he says plain as day. “Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, Bae, daddy.” 

 

“He knows!” Blaine exclaims, though he is somewhat muffled. “He knows I’m his daddy.” 

 

“Who’s the daddy?” 

 

My dad throws the door open so hard it almost comes off it's hinges, and then he’s there, tucking himself into the end of the bed. “Any chance of coffee? Man’s got a date to prepare for.” 

 

“Blaine is my daddy!” Maggie cries. “And Kurt is my papa! We can call them that, they said. Oh, and also? They’re getting married even though they are boys!” 

 

“What?” He catches Maggie, holds her close, and stares at me. “This all true?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Oh my boys! My boys! Finally you’ve seen sense!”

 

We don’t go into adoption details with the kids; that can come later, with help from Carole and Polly. For now, I can see that Maggie feels complete, just like Blaine and I, and my dad is, of course, over the moon. The second Cooper arrives, and my dad has set off for his coffee date, we bundle into the car, and make the drive to Blaine’s parents, stopping for breakfast on the way. 

 

They don’t know we’re coming, and I pray they’re in when Blaine rings the doorbell with Joshua on his hip. It is Peter who answers, not at all put out at three adults and three kids just turning up. 

 

“How wonderful!” he declares brightly. 

 

“Get mama,” Blaine says, bouncing impatiently. 

 

“Yes, of course. Come in, come in.” 

 

“Daddy please, get mama.”

 

“Will do.”

 

Cooper sighs. We both know what Blaine is planning and it’s only a matter of time before Joshua speaks and ruins it all. “Daddy, just get her to come here. It’s urgent.” 

 

“Oh.” He nods, and hurries away to the foot of the stairs while we all pile into the hallway. “Is it bad?”

 

“Just...”

 

“Get mama, yes. Will do.” 

 

We wait, but as soon as we hear Peter saying we’re here, Joanna comes tearing down the stairs to hug and kiss us all. “What a lovely surprise!” she cries, smooshing Joshua’s face in her hands. “I was only just....”

 

“No, no, mama, wait. Hold up.” Blaine looks at Joshua and smiles. “Joshy, what’s my name?”

 

Silence. 

 

“Joshy?”

 

“Brrrrrrrrrrpfff.”

 

“No, Joshy, what’s my name?”

 

Silence, and a big, toothy grin. 

 

“Uh, Blaine, did you just drive up here to tell us he can talk? We knew that already.” 

 

“No, no, I....”

 

I place my hand on his shoulder. “Joshy, who’s this?”

 

“Daddy!” He claps himself, pleased with his efforts, but Peter and Joanna still look confused. “Daddy!”

 

“Alice?”

 

“Bane is my actual real life daddy now,” she explains, and right on cue, Maggie chimes in. 

 

“And Kurt is our papa and they’re getting married! For real life!” 

 

Blaine holds up his left hand, grinning brightly. 

 

“OH!” Joanna cries, and then there’s hugs, and tears, and whispered explanations of adoptions in the kitchen while Cooper entertains the kids in the yard. We share breakfast together, and in the end, The Andersons travel back with us so we can all go out to dinner and celebrate. 

 

My dad doesn’t arrive home until late in the afternoon, and when we mention dinner, he blushes red and mumbles something about having things to do. 

 

“Dad? Are you seeing Carole?”

 

“Kinda. Yeah.” 

 

I glance at Blaine, who nods. “She could uh... she could join us, if you’d like? Quinn and Cooper are coming.” 

 

He brightens up, and hurries off to call her, while I take full advantage of the kids being occupied with Peter and Joanna, and I pull Blaine into the den. 

 

“There’s no lock in here.”

 

I raise my eyebrows. “I wasn’t thinking we were....”

 

“Oh. Oh, right.” 

 

“I just wanted a moment with you, that’s all. Fiance.” 

 

He smiles, and immediately kisses behind my ear. “Kurt, I love you so, so much. Today has been crazy, but so incredibly wonderful.” 

 

“There’s still dinner to go.” 

 

“About that.”

 

“Hmm?” I gasp as he kisses down my neck. 

 

“I don’t think I should wear my ring.”

 

I pull back immediately, one hand on his chest. “Say what now? You don’t like it?”

 

“I love it. But if people see...”

 

“Then let them speculate.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Because I was thinking that I’d like to get you a ring too, but then people will think we’re married, and....”

 

“And when I’m asked about it, I will laugh like this ‘hahahaha’ and say ‘no, I can assure you, we are not secretly married.’” 

 

He laughs. “And when we are?”

 

“Then the world will know after all our loved ones know.” 

 

He pauses, thinking, worrying, of course, and then, he smiles. “Okay, papa, your call.”

 

“Don’t call me that. It’ll get weird.” 

 

“Sorry papa.” 

 

“Blaine!”

 

“You could shut me up?”

 

I cave, and give him what he’s craving. In all honesty, I’m craving it too. We are right in the middle of a heated making out session, with me pinned against the wall, when Quinn walks in and throws her hands up in the air. 

 

“I’m not surprised. Have you two been online today?”

 

“Been a bit busy.”

 

“I get that. But what was the one thing I told you to do at the party?”

 

“Behave.” 

 

“And what was the one thing you did not do?”

 

“In my defense,” Blaine says quickly. “Kurt kissed me, not the other way around.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“You responded,” she snaps. Shoving her phone in our faces, she rolls her eyes. “You moan about having no privacy, but that doesn’t seem to bother you when it comes to making out, does it?”

 

“Okay...” I look at the photo of Blaine and I more or less groping each other. “So we’re kinda sucking face but....”

 

I catch Blaine’s eye, he looks at Quinn with his full on kicked puppy face, and suddenly, all three of us are laughing. 

 

“Okay, I give up,” Quinn says. She hugs us both at the same time and kisses our cheeks. “I’m glad you had a good night. And I am so glad you’re engaged, and doing the whole adopting thing. I think...” She stops. “Actually, I know, that you two are perfect together. The most wonderful, loving parents any kid could wish for, and made to be together forever.” 

 

I feel Blaine’s hand sliding into mine, feel the press of the ring against my fingers. Suddenly, in the distance, we hear “Daddy, papa, daddy, papa,” from Joshua, who seems to have been practising all day. 

 

Life is perfect. 

  
  
  
  



	30. Chapter 30

**Blaine**

 

As anyone could have predicted, Firestone is a massive success. Also as predicted, I am spotted wearing a ring, and the very next day, a fan snaps a picture of Kurt and I in Saks, his ring also on display. Speculation is intense, but Kurt consistently laughs it off. 

 

“No, we are not secretly married, trust me.”

 

For a few crazy weeks, Kurt’s face seems to be on every billboard in town, he’s on every TV show, in every magazine, and it becomes tricky to get out of the house in the mornings, owing to the fans who seem to wait outside all the time. 

 

Though they’re polite and respectful, it’s still a pressure that none of us enjoy, especially Maggie, and we see a lot of the progress we had made with her being lost. She is clingy and tearful whenever one of us has to leave her side, which is a nightmare since Kurt is in high demand. In the end, through sheer desperation, we pack up and head to my parents, pulling Maggie out of school for a few weeks. 

 

Firestone is quickly renewed, but Kurt is reluctant to subject us all to the hype again. We wrangle back and forth; the pressure of living with my parents only adding to an already tense situation. I try to convince him he should do it, but he’s adamant that he won’t. In the end, one Sunday morning when things have reached boiling point, my dad turfs us out of the house, ignoring Maggie’s wailing protest, and tells us not to come back until we can be civilized. 

 

“But Maggie needs us!” I cry. 

 

“She’ll be fine, Blaine. But none of us will be if you don’t stop your bickering and sort this mess out. Go, take a walk, get some coffee, and come back when you’re both feeling happier.” 

 

“Well that’ll be never,” Kurt mutters angrily. He kicks at the car tire for good measure and storms off down the driveway, shaking his hand free when I try to hold it. 

 

I sigh, and run to catch up with him. “Okay, talk with me. Dad’s right; we can’t go on like this.”

 

“So stop forcing me into something that I don’t want to do, then!”

 

“I’m not, Kurt.” I keep my voice calm, steady, even though Kurt is leading us through town at a breakneck pace. “I would never do that. My problem is, I think you do want to do it, that’s why I’m persisting.” 

 

“No I don’t! Look at what it does to Maggie. Look at how hard it is to just walk to the bakery! Or the park? Look at those women taking photos of Joshua. He was having a tantrum like all little kids do, and then it’s splashed across the tabloids with suggestions that there might be trouble in paradise, all because we wouldn’t let him take a duck home in his stroller. It’s a duck! It belongs in the fucking lake!” 

 

“Kurt, we all know he was being unreasonable.” 

 

“But he should be allowed to be! How horrible for him to grow up and have people digging out a picture of him trying to steal a duck when he’s eighteen months old.” 

 

“Kurt, do you want to do season two?”

 

“That’s irrelevant.”

 

“Kurt. If there were no kids, if I wasn’t here, would you do season two?”

 

“Of course I would,” he snaps. “Don’t be an idiot.” 

 

“Kurt, why do you want me to record an album?”

 

“Because you’re good! It’s what you love. Because I want the world to know how amazingly talented you are.” 

 

“If you don’t do season two, what are you going to do? More to the point, maybe, if you don’t do season two, do you think the interest in your personal life will wane? Because I think that while there might be a tiny let up, on the whole, your fanbase will stick around for a long time to come.” 

 

“If I don’t do season two, I’ll work on that musical with you.” 

 

“You can do that anyway. But if we do, then that’s still doing something in the public eye.” 

 

“Then I’ll.... I’ll...” He stops, looking around him. We stand, literally, at a crossroads, and Kurt takes a right. “I don’t want to do anything else,” he says quietly. “Not really.” 

 

“And why do you think I want you to do a second season.” 

 

This time, as he leads us up a steep, winding road, he takes my hand. “Because you know me,” he says. He rubs briefly at his eyes. “Because you know that it’s what I love.” 

 

“And because I like that the world gets to see how amazingly talented you are.” I stop him in his tracks and hug him close. Above all, I value our hugs more than anything. “I love you. Please do season two.”

 

“What about the kids, though?”

 

“We’ll move as quickly as we can.”

 

“Where, though? There’s not been any good houses for sale.”

 

As we stay there, hugging close, I look over his shoulder. “There’s that one, right behind you.” 

 

As it turns out, that house is not the one for us. We view it, and though it will make a great home for some family out there, we both feel it’s not right for us. Still, it starts the ball rolling, and we view three more in quick succession, quickly exhausting the range of large, secluded properties in the same town as my parents. Our search expands to the next town over; I am unsure, since it's renowned for being very exclusive, but Kurt loves the idea. Our first visit is a huge success, even though the house we view is awful. The town is quaint, with pretty pastel colored shops settled around a town square, and the most amazing bakery sitting right opposite a beautiful park. 

 

“It feels like home,” Kurt says as we huddle on a park bench, coffee and muffins in hand, trying to block out the cold November wind. “Bakery, park...”

 

“House?”

 

“I’d like that. Come on. Let’s go to the next one.” 

 

Neither of us are sure when we pull up to the double fronted house, set at the end of a large private driveway. All Kurt can really think to say, is that he likes that fact that there’s gates, and that the house is set far back from the road. 

 

Then we step inside. 

 

There’s a lot of work to do, no doubt about it, but it’s large, bright and airy, with everything we need and more. As we’re shown around, Kurt squeezes my hand repeatedly, grinning all the time. 

 

The entrance hall is massive, with a huge kitchen and great room. There’s a living room, a dining room, playroom, two offices, and a den. The basement is large enough for there to be a music room, laundry room and, Kurt suddenly chooses to announce, a pool table and a bar. 

 

Upstairs, the six bedrooms all have their own bathrooms, and we look out of the master bedroom onto the biggest yard I think I have ever seen. It’s more like a field. 

 

“Oh and that thing at the end? The rusty fenced off area? That’s a tennis court,” the bored realtor tells us. “There’s a pool, too. Out this window on the left.”

 

“Uh-huh,” Kurt says, trying to play it cool. “And what are these buildings?”

 

“Dunno. Storage?” He examines the brochure. “Ah. Was a separate apartment, now used for storage.” 

 

“I see. And uh, what’s that big mark above your head? Looks like water damage?”

 

He looks up. “Oh yeah. Whole place needs a new roof.” 

 

Kurt looks at me, and we both know. “We’d like to make an offer.” 

 

In the end, we get the house at a knockdown price, because we take Burt to the realtors with us and I think they’re too scared to disagree. Work begins immediately, and with two days to go, we get our wish of spending our first Christmas together, in our brand new home. 

 

It’s like a switch has been flipped for Maggie; she doesn’t just blossom, she positively blooms. Burt moves to the same town as my parents, a ten minute ride from our place, and Carole swiftly moves in. Suddenly, Maggie is heading for sleepovers at grandma and grandads, or at granpappy and nana carole’s, and of course Alice and Joshua are happy to do so, too. 

 

Kurt and I spend our second night alone, holed up in our new place, drinking the bar dry and christening the couch in the den, which Maggie still insists smells of boy even though it’s all brand new. Our third night alone is spent in New York, dancing in some exclusive club, and our fourth is spent in a fancy restaurant, having dinner. It feels like we’re dating for the first time; that wonderful evening, once every ten days or so, when it’s just the two of us. We love our kids dearly, but we come to treasure each and every date night we share, whether it’s attending a work event or sitting in the bath together. Every moment is a gift. 

 

Kurt and I marry on mine and Joshua’s birthday, in a small, private ceremony in our yard. Only our closest family and friends are present, and it is all we could ever have wished for. There is no party; not immediately, anyway. Instead, we, along with our parents, Cooper, and Carole, drive into the city, for our adoption hearing. 

 

“This is a finalization,” the judge tells us as we all crowd into his chambers. “Nothing more. It won’t take long. I have countless recommendations that the children should be legally yours, and I can see for myself that they are happy and well looked after. How beautiful you all look today,” he says, smiling at Maggie. 

 

She does look a picture, in her ivory dress with turquoise sash. Alice matches, both of them with their long blond hair flowing down their backs, and both still clutching their little posies of flowers, though Alice’s have decidedly less heads. 

 

“My daddies got married.” 

 

“Yes I know. How lovely.” The judge smiles again, and beckons to them both. “Why don’t you come around here, and take a look at all my papers? See what I’ve got here? All these documents? If I sign them, that means that as soon as you leave this office, you’ll all be Andersons. How do you like the idea of that?”

 

“A lot,” Maggie says, smiling brightly. “A lot a lot.” 

 

“Can I be Bruce Wayne?”

 

The judge laughs loudly, and pats Alice on the head. “My dear child, you can be anything or anyone you want to be. For now, though, I think Alice Anderson has quite a nice ring to it, don’t you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And Joshua Anderson. Is that you, young man?”

 

“Balls.” 

 

“Oh, he uh... he really likes tennis,” I say quickly. I try to keep him on my lap, but he’s having none of it. 

 

“Play tennis, daddy?”

 

“Not right now, sunshine. Later on, maybe.” 

 

“It’s our wedding day,” Kurt points out. “You’re not taking him out on that tennis court, Blaine. You’re just not.” 

 

The judge laughs again, and turns to Maggie. “So, Maggie Anderson. You like that, yes?”

 

She nods. 

 

“I see. So tell me, Maggie Anderson, what makes you think these two here are good daddies? What makes them special to you?”

 

“They’re mine,” she says softly. “They love me, and Alice, and Joshy, more than anything in the whole world. And papa has a really fun job, because we did get to go to that Disney premiere, and meet real life famous people.”

 

“Oh really? How come? Is papa famous?” he asks with a wink. 

 

“I think so, but he’s just really our papa so... and also, you know Michael Rand? He’s in my class at school. He saw papa on tv, in his Firestone suit, and then he came to my house for a playdate, and papa put his suit on to show him, and now everyone thinks I am awesome because my papa is a superhero.” 

 

“I see. And what does daddy do?”

 

“Daddy plays the piano and sings so pretty. He is on the YouTube a lot, and plays concerts. Real ones that I can go and see now because they’re not in a bar. Also, he’s writing a musical called Elephants on the Roof, and guess what? He wrote it because of the story that he made up for me and Alice, right back when he first came to visit and he and papa used to look at each other all the time like this.” She makes a proper heart eyes face and everyone laughs. 

 

“And how do they look at each other now?”

 

“They don’t,” Alice booms. “They just kiss all the time, like this; mwah mwah mwah. It’s gross.” 

 

“Kisses!” Joshua cries, clapping his hands. “Daddy, papa, kisses, kisses!”

 

“I think, Mr. and Mr. Anderson, that based on a final testimony from these three outstanding children, I have no choice but to recommend... or insist, even, that you adopt them immediately. Quite simply, no one else could do such an outstanding job.” He offers a pen to Kurt. “You want to sign? Your married name, please, Mr. Anderson.” 

 

We sign, and pose for pictures, and take all of the love and congratulations from everyone and then, just as we’re about to leave the courthouse, Kurt and I finally get ten seconds alone when everyone else somehow winds up in front of us. 

 

“Everything’s official,” Kurt whispers. “All of it.”

 

“No backing out now, husband of mine.” 

 

“No.”

 

He finds my lips in the softest of kisses, and when we part, we’re both crying tears of joy. 

 

“Hey, you two!” Cooper calls. “Come on! Friends are waiting, champagne is on ice, let’s go!” 

 

Together, we choose to release one family snapshot, of all of us in our outfits, and another of just the two of us, laughing as we hold up a sign that reads “ Mr. and Mr. Anderson.” We choose to keep the adoption private; the media know and recognize them as our kids anyway. 

 

The pictures are released via Kurt’s and my Twitter’s, which Quinn runs most of the time for us, anyway, and they’re released three days after the wedding and adoption, when the five of us are tucked away at Disneyland on our first family vacation. We check in with Cooper, who advises us things are “going nuts,” and we see it for ourselves when we return the following week. The overwhelming majority of responses are positive, though there are some that are so nasty they cut deep. We’re too damn happy to care, though, and the next concert I play gives time for interactions with those who wish us well, and it’s heartwarming. 

 

We keep the kids away from the limelight most of the time, but sometimes, stuff like Disney premieres, papa attending a kids awards show, or daddy playing a concert, are too exciting for them to stay at home. Though they can be a pain in the ass at home sometimes, mercifully, when we’re in public, they are cute and adorable, and everyone loves them. 

 

“Happy, Mr. Anderson?” Kurt asks one night as we fall into bed. “It’s been three months now. That’s a trial period in most jobs, right? Did I pass my probation?”

 

“As husband? Eh, you’ll do.” 

 

He laughs, and slides closer, kissing my chest. “Did you ever think you’d marry a guy?”   
  
“Kurt, you know the answer to that.”

 

“But did you, though?”

 

“Kurt!”

 

“Did you ever think you’d have three kids?”

 

“You know the answer to that one, too.”

 

“Blaine, play with me.” 

 

“Fine, for the millionth time, here it is. I never thought I’d find anyone to love, Kurt, much less that my someone would be a guy. I never, in my wildest dreams imagined that I’d be a father to three children, or two children and one Spider-Pig as Alice is today. I certainly didn’t think I’d enjoy fatherhood, or be fairly okay at it.” 

 

“Excellent at it.” 

 

“Thank you. And no, I never thought I’d marry a guy. And I certainly didn’t think I’d ever fall so completely, utterly, wholeheartedly in love with a guy, and neither did I think that that amazing, wonderful, kind, loving, creative, talented, sweet, adorable guy, could love me in return.” I roll on top of him, kissing his lips as we both smile. “Happy, Mr. Anderson?” 

 

Kurt grins, winding his arms around my neck and pulling me close. “Exceedingly so.” 

 

The End

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
